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tatewin · #1 (**permalink**) 08-30-2006, 07:03 PM

This is rated 13+

McGonagall's Dilema (McGonagall and Headmaster)
Professor McGonagall was pacing around her bedchamber again tonight. She couldn’t sleep for the dreams that haunted her.

“I’m too old for this,” she sighed. “This can’t be happening!”

She stopped at the window, looked out upon the dark and silent grounds. But everywhere she looked she could only see one thing. It was Dumbledore's face that haunted her dreams! It was everywhere and she couldn’t shut those features out of her head!

She shut her eyes and laid her head against the sweat-cooled stone.

“What in Merlyn’s name am I going to do ….

I’m in love with the Headmaster!

tatewin · 08-31-2006, 12:03 AM

McGonagall and the Cursed Classroom.

“Why do I always get to be the designated curse breaker,” Minerva McGonagall grumbled to herself as she headed down the dark hallway towards the cursed classroom.

As she walked she thought about what had caused the curse, which doomed the students that tried to learn there to dullness, mediocrity, the desire to wear pink bows in their hair and rapid weight gain.

She thought hard about the spell she would have to use to break this terrible curse as she opened the door and entered the classroom.

“Expellimus Pigulis Umbridgitis!” She said with a smirk, then left the room.

tatewin · 08-31-2006, 01:03 AM

McGonagall and Transfigured Tranfiguration

Professor McGonagall entered her classroom to prepare it for her next Transfiguration class. She closed the door and looked around to check materials. Suddenly, a tiny voice caught her attention. “Help me!” It said. “Help!”

McGonagall searched around for the source of that voice. She discovered a silver cup where she thought the voice had come from. She picked it up, looked at it, but saw nothing out of place – that is until she looked inside. There was a face on the bottom looking up at her.

“Weasley! you have GOT to get a NEW wand! You transfigured Neville again!”

tatewin · 08-31-2006, 01:21 AM

McGonagall and The House Plant (Herbology)

Minerva looked sadly at the one remaining plant in her quarters. It’s leaves hung limply despite the care she tried to give it.

She loved plants, but seldom had any luck with them. She had no green thumb, she knew.

She decided that she had to do something to save that plant, but what? Suddenly it came to her, she would send an owl to her student, Neville Longbottom. He was excellent in Herbology and could help her save it!

McGonagall was stunned when Neville arrived and gave her such a simple, obvious cure - “Professor, all it needs is water!”

tatewin · 09-05-2006, 08:55 PM

McGonagall and the Art of Divination

Proffessor McGonagall hated the subject of Divination, everyone knew. She thought that it was a waste of time.

She even hated to visit the room where Professor Trelawny supposedly tried to teach the subject, yet here she was. Trelawny was not there. As she awaited her arrival, McGonagall looked casually around the room, glancing at the various objects used to “see” into the beyond. She picked up an old crystal ball and looked at it.

Suddenly a face appeared from the grey haze!

“I thought you didn’t believe,” Trelawny’s face said with a laugh.

McGonagall dropped the crystal and ran!

tatewin · 09-06-2006, 05:16 PM

McGonagall Eggs on Peeves

McGonagall was normally one to abide by the rules, but she had had enough of this new Hogwart’s High Inquisitor, as Delores Umbridge was now called. She had been making her early morning rounds when she ran into that mischievous Poltergeist, Peeves, planning to wreak some more havoc and, looking around cautiously, started to egg the little trickster on.

“Peeves,” she said. “If you want to do it right, there is a bathroom right above Umbridge’s office. Head up there and turn all the taps on where it will leak through and soak her office.”

Peeves grinned evilly and left.

tatewin · 09-08-2006, 05:36 PM

McGonagall and the Ford Anglia

Professor McGonagall decided to go for a walk through the forest. She walked along the dark path, not paying much attention to where she was going.

Suddenly she heard a deep growl. She froze, raising her wand, surprised to see an old beat up Ford Anglia staring back at her. The car purred as is slowly came towards her. It opened its door. McGonagall climbed in. The door shut, the motor revved and the car took off back down the path and rose high into the air.

“I can see why Weasley and Potter flew the car here!” She laughed.

tatewin · 09-08-2006, 05:48 PM

McGonagall and the Telescope

One evening, Minerva found herself in the Astronomy tower and decided to take a look through the telescope. It was pointed directly at Dumbledore’s tower and sure enough, there he was, pacing as usual.

But McGonagall noticed that, with each circle, he lost a piece of clothing. Finally, he was down to his shorts as Minerva, blushing, found she could not take her eyes away. But the next circle he made started to add the clothing back on again until he was fully clothed. Suddenly, Dumbledore stopped and looked through his telescope!

He smiled and waved at her!

She fainted!

tatewin · 09-08-2006, 06:00 PM

McGonagall and the Astronomy Tower (A continuation of the last story)

McGonagall woke up in the Astronomy Tower, shaking her head slowly. Dumbledore had caught her! He knew she was watching him! She never had felt so embarrassed!

Suddenly the door opened and, as in her nightmare, Dumbledore walked in!

“Hello, Minerva,” he said grinning, lowering his hand to help her to her feet.

Blushing madly, she took his hand and stood, afraid to look at him.

“I knew you were watching,” Dumbledore said, laughing. “So I decided to have some fun with you!”

“Albus, That wasn’t funny!” Minerva said, trying to keep a straight face. Failing, she burst out laughing!

tatewin · 09-08-2006, 06:12 PM

McGonagall’s Fight

Professor McGonagall and Umbridge were arguing again, but this time, Minerva had had enough! She cocked back her fist and gave Umbridge a powerful right hook right on the chin! Umbridge squealed as she flew back against the wall, nose bloody.

Minerva walked toward the cowering creature that was getting back onto her feet and trying to pull out her wand. She struck out again, knocking the wand out of Umbridges’ fat fist.

“I want you out of this castle now!” Minerva said. “Or you just might find yourself turning into a Crumpled-Horn Snortsnack!”

Then she awoke from her dream.

tatewin · 09-10-2006, 03:54 PM

McGonagall and the Chocolate Secret

Professor McGonagall started her night rounds as usual. She volunteered for this because she had a secret. The rounds gave her the perfect cover to hide her passion.

She walked through the castle, ending up in a dark corridor where, looking around cautiously to make sure she hadn’t been spotted, she stood next to the statue of the one-eyed crone and tapped her hump.

“Dissendum!” she whispered,

The hump opened and she climbed through.

After walking through the tunnel she found herself at a trapdoor.

She knocked softly.

The door opened to reveal Honeyduke’s owner.
“Your chocolate!” he said, smiling.

tatewin · 09-10-2006, 04:18 PM

McGonagall and the House Elf

“Kretcher! Get in here!” McGonagall said.

The old elf waddled into her office muttering darkly to itself.

“I know you have been sneaking out of the kitchen, spying on people!” Minerva said. “It is going to stop now!”

Kretcher grinned; she had no authority over him.

But she smiled, turning to point at a student. It was that Potter boy! Kretcher began to shake in anger.

“Kretcher,” Harry said. “I order that you must obey Professor McGonagall and do everything she tells you. I’m giving her permission to punish you if you don’t.

Frustrated, the elf screamed.

They smiled, satisfied.

tatewin · 09-10-2006, 04:29 PM

McGonagall’s Quiddich Passion

The morning before the students were to arrive at school was warm and sunny and McGonagall decided to make the best of it by grabbing her broom and heading to the Quiddich field.

Students knew she was passionate about her Gryffindore team, but what they didn’t know is that she was an excellent player herself.

McGonagall laughed as she took to the air, imagining their faces if they could see her now! She expertly dodged a bludger another teacher sent her way as she snatched the quaffle from Professor Snape, sped around Trelawney and Spout and scored the first goal.

tatewin · 09-10-2006, 05:14 PM

McGonagall’s Muggle Diary

Dear Diary:

I took the cat out for another walk tonight. It is such a release from stress to be a cat. One is free to stroll around the Muggle streets unrecognized and relatively unnoticed.

Tonight I had some real fun! If I noticed a cute Muggle, I could curl myself around his ankles and purr. Most of the time they stop and pet me! Sometimes they take the time to talk…tell me their problems. I listen, and they seem to like that.

One, though, tried to kick me! That was a big mistake! I turned him into a mouse!

tatewin · 09-10-2006, 05:30 PM

McGonagall’s Catty Chases

Dear Diary:

I had another great time tonight! Not many Muggles out so I found another great diversion….dog baiting!

Now, don’t get me wrong! As a human I love them, but as a cat? Well, that’s another matter. Some dogs are fine, but others just don’t like me! Those I bait. I arch my back and spit at them. Then, the chase is on! I lead them to this wall that has a large hole in it, run through and disapperate. They keep running, not noticing that the hole exits out a cliff. They fall harmlessly into the water below!

tatewin · 09-16-2006, 08:58 PM

McGonagall and the Yodeling Ghost

Minerva loved to walk through the mountains. One summer day, she found herself high up on a mountain she hadn't visited before. It was quiet until she heard a distant noise she couldn't make out. She followed the sound, found it to be a yodel but couldn't find the source. She went higher and soon spotted a ghostly figure in the mist. It was short and squat, but seemed to have no real form. She tried to get closer and the annoying sound continued.
Suddenly the figure became clear! It was Umbridge! McGonagall knew the twins had confunded her again!

tatewin · 09-16-2006, 09:12 PM

McGonagall and the Charging Chicken

Mcgonagall had received a report about students being attacked by a fierce chicken as they walked close to the Forbidden Forest between classes.

“Afraid of a little chicken!” she laughed to herself. “I am going to have to see this for myself!”

She made her way to the area of the attacks thinking she might have a special chicken dinner tonight. She scanned the shrubs that lined the forest.

“Here chicky!” she laughed.

Suddenly the bushes parted and a huge red hen, eyes red, wings spread and beak open, raced out directly at her! McGonagall turned and ran, robes flying!

tatewin · 09-16-2006, 09:23 PM

McGonagall and the Common Room

Few knew McGonagall was a trickster, but there were times when this seemingly strict and formal woman really “let her hair down”.
One of the tricks she favored was turning into her animagus, a gray tabby cat, and going down to the Common Room the first night of school. The older students had seen this trick, and played along.
The first years, however, did not know that this friendly cat was their professor. While some petted and fawned on her, she could listen to their talk and discover some funny and embarrassing things to announce to them in class tomorrow!

tatewin · 09-16-2006, 09:50 PM

McGonagall and the Sorting Hat

The term finally ended and teachers were straightening up before they left for the season. McGonagall was straightening up Dumbledore’s office and decided to take a break.

“Penny for your thoughts!” a voice sounded from close by. McGonagall saw the Sorting Hat.

“I’m wondering how you come up with your poems each year,” she said.

“It’s easy,” the hat replied. “I just sit here for a year and think things up. Boring really!”

“I can understand!” she said. “That’s all you do, sit right there?”

“Oh no!” The hat said smiling mischieviously! “I party with the house elves all summer!”

tatewin · 09-16-2006, 10:00 PM

McGonagall and the Quill

McGonagall was angry! She had heard about that special quill Umbridge used to punish students! She decided she HAD to do something about it!

She waited until Umbridge left her office and snuck in. She found the quill locked inside her desk. She unlocked it and removed the quill.

She said a very special and powerful charm and pointed her wand at the quill. The quill lit up then shuddered. McGonagall knew that her charm had worked!

The next time Umbridge tried to force it to carve into a students’ hand, it would, instead, carve “Evil Fat Pig!” into hers!

swimMOm · 09-20-2006, 06:49 AM

I love that last one

tatewin · 09-22-2006, 01:28 AM

McGonagall and the Hogtied Headmistress (untie)

McGonagall was walking down a dark corridor making her night rounds when she heard something banging. Following the sound, she came to a classroom, and upon entering, found the newly instated Headmistress hogtied in a corner.

McGonagall had a hard time keeping herself from laughing! How many times had she come to the aide of this woman! The students, like most of the staff members detested her and her Decrees!

McGonagall watched as the hog-tied and blindfolded woman flopped around on the floor helplessly.

“Should I untie her?" she asked herself.

“Nope!” she answered and walked out of the room.

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