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Fortune_Cookie · #1 (**permalink**) 09-04-2006, 01:00 AM

Join me, Cookie, as I get an insider’s perspective on the malicious reporter who always gets the scoop (and a bit more than that).

Themes:
~~1. Herbology~~ 2. Muggle Studies 3. Transfiguration 4. Ancient Runes 5. Astronomy 6. Divination 7. Care of Magical Creatures ~~8. Potions~~ ~~9. Defense Against the Dark Arts~~ ~~10. Arithmancy~~ 11. History of Magic 12. Charms 13. Quidditch 14. Hogwarts, A History 15. Room 16. Dragonhide gloves 17. Cauldron 18. Whomping Willow 19. Wand 20. Hogsmeade ~~21. Veela~~ 22. Kneazle 23. Telescope 24. House elf 25. Sorting Hat ~~26. Quill~~ 27. Owl 28. Timeturner 29. Pensieve 30. Feast 31. Dress robes 32. Common room 33. Classroom 34. Parseltongue 35. Pureblood ~~36. Muggle~~ ~~37. Animagus~~ 38. Patronus 39. Duel 40. Spell 41. Thestrals 42. Portraits 43. Headmaster ~~44. Ford Anglia~~ 45. torch 46. Dungeon ~~47. Portkey~~ 48. Leprechaun 49. Yule Ball 50. Boggart 51. act 52. bore 53. Chase 54. Dare 55. Egg on ~~56. Fight~~ 57. Gape 58. Hoot 59. Ignore 60. Joke 61. Kiss 62. Lope ~~63. Mooch~~ 64. Nap 65. Ooze 66. Pace 67. Quell 68. Roar 69. Slap 70. teem 71. Untie 72. Vex ~~73. Warn~~ 74. x-tinguish 75. Yodel 76. Zap 77. Cheerful ~~78. author's choice~~ 79. author's choice 80. author's choice 81. Depression 82. Careful 83. Fearful 84. Angry 85. Snappish 86. Daring 87. Plaid 88. sweet tooth 89. Past 90. present 91. Future 92. Chocolate 93. Chicken 94. Allergic 95. Snowball 96. Socks 97. Dictionary 98. Pajamas ~~99. Newspaper~~ 100. Homework

Newspaper

Undoubtedly, the Daily Prophet is the most influential newspaper in the wizarding world. As you know, Rita is an active columnist. This position has taken plenty of grueling (not to mention nasty) work. She am not remorseful in any way possible, however, as from the moment of conception (or around there) she knew she was a born journalist.

She doesn’t know how it started, really. Perhaps it began when she learned to use her animagus abilities or when a professor noted her tuned writing skills. No matter, though, because now she is comfortably in the ownership of a most-coveted office.

Fortune_Cookie · 09-04-2006, 05:06 PM

Animagus

Being an animagus is one of the most pleasurable achievements. Take Rita’s word for it.

She learned because she needed some way to better the others. The Daily Prophet is very picky. Somehow, she had to become what they were looking for.

One visit to Father’s extensive library and she held the instructions in my hands. It wasn’t easy, but worth it. At first she was shocked at my form; she was expecting along the lines of a unicorn or swan. The more she thought about it, the more she liked being a beetle. She was more inconspicuous that way.

Fortune_Cookie · 09-04-2006, 09:04 PM

Quill

If you asked Rita who her best friend is, she’d say Quick Quotes Quill. She found it in the clearance section (otherwise known as the trash pile) of Flourish and Blotts. Evidently someone had been experimenting with quills and thought it useless, so placed it strategically in clearance.

Other customers didn’t want it; who’d want an acid green writing instrument? So she bought it because it was…well, completely spontaneous. That was during her impulsive phase. I’m not sure if she’s over it yet. Anyhow, she enchanted it soon after (took weeks) and in no time it was ready for use.

Fortune_Cookie · 09-05-2006, 09:21 PM

Cauldron

Rita Skeeter picked up a copy of the Daily Prophet lying on her cluttered desk.

MINISTRY CAULDRON THICKNESS STANDARDISED AT LONG LAST

It has been made known to the public that after years of discussion, the standard cauldron thickness has been made. The leaking incidents have increased by—

Her eyebrows instantly contracted. This was preposterous! Here was the Department of International Magical Co-operation figuring out how to stop leaks while vampires could be plotting an attack on the wizarding world!

“How can they be so blind?!” She reprimanded angrily, grabbing a random quill with a hand of red talons.

Fortune_Cookie · 09-08-2006, 10:06 PM

Ford Anglia

Surprisingly, Rita’s first big break in the Daily Prophet was reporting a factual story. It’s not like the newspaper had a choice in this, however. They were low on writers and their most frequent one had pulled a sudden escape by holidaying in Mexico.

“We need a writer and quick,” the editor growled, slamming a fist onto the table. “This story cannot be dropped.” He noticed a certain lady walking by carrying a crocodile purse.

In an hour, Rita Skeeter returned with a manuscript titled ‘Enquiry at the Ministry of Magic’ with a corresponding picture of a flying Ford Anglia.

Fortune_Cookie · 09-09-2006, 03:06 PM

Mooch

Aside from being a scandalous writer, Rita was a scandalous moocher. Many articles of clothing had been taken from her grandmother’s attic, which meant that all the ones left behind were the normal-looking outfits.

“Ah, this one looks…riveting.” Rita held up a maroon and sky-blue coloured jacket against her body, turning in each direction. She stuffed it in her bag (it was enlarged on the inside) and trotted down the stairs. “If she knew what I do every week...” Chortling at her grandmother’s naivety, she disapparated.

Rita’s grandma didn’t seem to mind, though. She was busy mooching from Rita’s wardrobe.

Fortune_Cookie · 09-09-2006, 09:45 PM

Herbology

It was in Herbology where Rita was pushed towards the realm of writing. Feeling that there were too many Hufflepuffs around for her liking, she passed a few notes to her friends sitting adjacent to her.

The professor eyed her warily. “Skeeter, hand that note to me, please.”

Scowling, she reluctantly gave the wrinkled piece of parchment to the professor.

To her utmost astonishment and glee, the professor looked at the parchment thoughtfully and announced, “You have a fine hand for writing, Miss Skeeter.” Several fellow Slytherins glared at her inability to get into trouble.

Funny how the world works.

Fortune_Cookie · 09-09-2006, 11:11 PM

Arithmancy

Rita sat at home one evening in a frilly, purple nightgown (probably mooched), scribbling frantically on a piece of new parchment.

To be expected, she was using her arithmancy skills to incorporate how much she was paid with average per issue, word, and lifetime, including factors such as sick days, dementor breeding, vampire attacks, and the like (which was positively outrageous at the time). A knock came at the door.

“Must be some fans,” she murmured, ignoring the knock and adding ‘calming fans down’ onto her already elongating list.

“Hmm…perhaps arithmancy has done me some good,” she congratulated herself smugly.

Fortune_Cookie · 09-10-2006, 11:31 PM

Warn

“I’m warning you,” Hermione growled under her breath, “One lying jot of that quick quotes quill and you’re getting reported as an unregistered animagus.”

Rita scowled at the bushy-haired girl, tucking a lock of now scraggly blonde hair behind her ear. “When is he coming, then?” she inquired, taking this opportunity to look around her. Seeing the world-famous Harry Potter was going to be a perk today.

“Never mind that, Miss Skeeter. He’ll come in no time, and you will not write lies,” Hermione cautioned, still glaring.

Frown deepening, the famous then-reporter nodded ruefully. “I know that already, Miss Perfect.”

poorSnuffles · 09-12-2006, 11:43 PM

oooooh this is good good good good!! write more!!!!

Fortune_Cookie · 09-15-2006, 08:42 PM

No comments in this thread, please! Thank you!

Portkey

There was a certain interview about the ministry of magic that Rita was to write. She didn’t want to write it, however, because of the fact that it was painstakingly boring.

“Please, no!” Rita whined, stowing away her quill.

The editor huffed, said nothing, and left.

Rita thought that was the end of it, but clearly not. A small figurine sat on her desk when she came back from break. A tag was attached to it: For you.

Rita picked it up. It was too late when she went spinning towards the ministry of magic headquarters for that undesired interview.

Fortune_Cookie · 09-30-2006, 04:37 PM

Potions

Rita got a silly notion during her fifth year at Hogwarts. What if she could make a potion that could make her into the world’s most wanted writer.

It was a derivation from the ployjuice potion with some random elixirs mixed in. She made it secretly during potions.

It was simmering in the cauldron when she decided to drink it. There was nothing for it! Carefully picking it up, she tipped it to her lips, excitement in her heart.

“Miss Skeeter!” the professor said sharply and pointed to a rule on the board reading: Potions are not to be drunk.

Fortune_Cookie · 10-14-2006, 10:24 PM

Defence Against the Dark Arts

Rita Skeeter didn’t believe in all that fancy wand movement, thank you very much. She was more for the other battle against evil—with her quill. Yes, she always murmured to herself, “The quill is mightier than the wand.” Epic battles with wands? No way. Epic battles with the scratch of the quill appealed to her more.

“What should we do for the new DADA regulation in schools?” she heard one ministry wizard ask another as she clicked her heels down the hall.

“Make them write with quills—more powerful,” she put in, smiling an acid smile and walking away.

Fortune_Cookie · 10-28-2006, 04:08 PM

Galleon

Rita’s quill scratched and scribbled on the parchment:

MINISTRY OF MAGIC EMPLOYEE SCOOPS GRAND PRIZE

“That sounds like a good title,” she said aloud to herself approvingly. She stifled a yawn. Honestly, why was she doing this? The Daily Prophet had nothing better to give her for a subject to write on, and she couldn’t say that her funds were high.

“How much am I being paid for this?” Rita asked as the newspaper entered the office.

The editor threw the check towards her. “I hope you understand this isn’t a big project.”

Rita looked at the check. One galleon.

Fortune_Cookie · 11-12-2006, 04:36 PM

Muggle

It was a quite day at the Daily Prophet headquarters.

“Sirius Black killed thirteen people with one curse,” Rita muttered to herself, tapping her quill thoughtfully against her chin. “That’s about all I know about Black, except that he is a dangerous criminal.” How did they expect her to write an article on him?

“Miss Skeeter,” the editor reprimanded, giving her a warning look, which told her to get to work.

Muggles nearby testified to the killings, she wrote, then scratched it out. Muggles’ testimonies were usually incorrect.

Then how did they know Black killed thirteen people?

Darn those Muggles.

Fortune_Cookie · 11-27-2006, 02:23 AM

Veela

Oh, how scandalous they are, Rita thought bitterly to herself as she wrote with her quill at the Quidditch World Cup. The creatures swayed and danced on the pitch, lulling all of the male population into some sort of trance.

Furious, Rita scribbled into her notebook. The Evilness of Veela, she wrote, mouth in a thin, red line.

A man from the ministry leaned forward, voice misty. “Aw, come, Rita, don’t write that. If I didn’t know you I’d think you were jealous of them.”

Rita glared at him, puncturing a hole into her notebook. “I most certainly am not!”

Fortune_Cookie · 12-23-2006, 09:46 PM

Fight

What was better to write about than a scandalous fight? Rita giggled and crawled closer, still not seen. Perhaps this wasn’t a fight, but it was enough. There was that giant oaf and the other tall foreign lady. Obviously the half-giant did not know when to stop and the large lady didn’t know how to face the truth. What a juicy article! Rita smiled her beetle-smile.

She extended her antennas and listened more closely. No one noticed the beetle perched on the statue except for two boys who were also eavesdropping, but little did they know who she really was.

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