“What has Amos got that I haven’t?” James crossed his arms as he sat down at the Gryffindor table. Despite voicing his annoyance, his eyes kept their focus on Lily Evans and Amos Diggory who stood across the hall in deep conversation.

“I am just as tall as Amos, I’m just as fit as Amos, I’m just as funny as Amos. Why is everyone so bloody obsessed Amos Diggory!?” With another huff, the Chaser began piling food on his plate.

“I’d say it’s the hair.”

“Oi, shove it Peter.”

“Remus, sometimes it’s a wonder that you weren’t sorted into Ravenclaw.” Sirius leaned back in his chair lazily, unaware of the girls watching him from afar. The Gryffindor continued, “I mean, you’ve got the brain for it. You’re just as nerdy as they are, Moony.”

Remus gave Sirius an annoyed look, but the Gryffindor only continued.

“If I didn’t know you, I’d bet money that you’d be one of them human dictionaries.”

“Silencio.” That’s it. NEVER doing homework in the common room EVER again.

“HA! Isn’t it ironic that the heir of Slytherin is actually a Gryffindor,” Sirius threw his head back in laughter.

“There’s no way that you’re the heir,” the gaggle of young Slytherins rolled their eyes.

“Ah, contraire…” Sirius tsked in disapproval. “Don’t make me summon the snakes on you lot, hissssssssss!” He made sure to wiggle his fingers for the full effect.

Honestly, James couldn’t watch one more second of this torture. “Oi, Black knock it off. We’re late for lunch.”

“Merlin Prongs, have you always got to ruin my fun?!”

Peter wandered into the common room with a look of befuddlement gracing his face. “Has anyone seen a ginger cat?”

His question was only answered with laughter, “Mary asked you to watch him twenty minutes ago and you’ve already lost him!?”

“Nice going, Wormtail! She’ll definitely want to snog you after this!” James chuckled.

Only a moment later, the portrait hole opened and by the grace of Merlin, a ginger cat came running through the opening… Shortly followed by a raging, Remus Lupin covered in owl feathers.

“…. PETER!”

“Alright big guy,” Sirius gave his friend a firm pat on the shoulder, “I think that’s it. You’re ready.”

Peter’s smile must’ve grown three times its size. “You think so?”

“I know so, buddy! No go get ‘em!” Though he looked supportive on the outside, Sirius was planning to run the moment Peter set in action. There was no way in hell that this would be pretty.

Clearing his throat, Peter approached the beautiful Hufflepuff, while Sirius took cover, “You must be part Veela ‘cause you’ve got me under your trance.”

“Well Wormtail, it could’ve been worse?” Sirius tried his best to suppress a snicker. Honestly the sound that her hand made when it made contact with Peter’s face…. Bet even the Slytherin’s heard it all the way in the dungeons! What a sight! PRICELESS!

“How could it have been worse?! My face—“

“Eh, it doesn’t even look that bad,” Sirius waved a dismissive hand as they made their way back towards Gryffindor tower, running into Remus on their way.

“Ooof, what’s wrong your face?”

So what, Sirius lied?

“When we finally get out of detention…” Remus grumbled, “I’m going to kill you, Sirius.”

“Is that a threat, Moony?” Sirius wasn’t all too worried. He knew this lecture all too well. After serving so many detentions together, Remus really was starting to sound like a broken record.

“It’s a promise.” Remus on the other hand, not even an ounce of amusement.

“Well anyways, I don’t see why I got in trouble in the first place. Hats are meant to be worn, it’s what they’re made for, Moony.”

In retrospect, maybe James shouldn’t have asked McGonagall. Slughorn would have been much more understanding. Remus, however, was not amused by the boy’s antics. Though it wasn’t all that fair, how was glory boy Remus supposed to understand the plebian needs of James Potter? He wasn’t asking for much!!

“But Moony, how am I supposed to make straight O’s, capitain a quidditch team, make time for Lily, AND sleep? It’s impossible. It’s like she wasn’t even trying to see it from my side.”

“This is cruel and unusual punishment,” Peter Pettigrew groaned as he scooped the last of the Hippogriff dung into his bucket. “James, you don’t think we took things too far, do you?”

Sirius Black scoffed at the idea, giving his friend a pointed LOOK. “Peter, have we ever led you astray?”

“Besides, Snivellus has never looked better,” their lanky friend chimed in from a few meters away. “If you ask me, the tail really suited him. Helped bring out that extra dazzle in his greased hair.”

“Merlin, he’s going to kill me, isn’t he?” Despite just waking up, Sirius was FREAKING OUT.

“Without a doubt.”

“Oi! You’re not supposed to tell me the truth!” Sirius looked around in panic. “You’re making it worse, Wormtail!”

And then it was happening. James was stomping all the way up the stairs. “Where the hell is Sirius Black?”

Well, it was a good question. The boy was nowhere to be found.

And that’s how you master the art of avoiding your team captain.

“Sooo, Evans?” The Gryffindor wiggled his eyebrows as he leaned on the wall behind him.

“No.”

“That’s not even fair, I haven’t even asked yet,” James whined.

“The answer is still no. It’ll always be no.”

“But Evans!” Merlin, this girl was impossible. “What if I was asking about the homework, would the answer still be no?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?!?!”

“POTTER!” Lily rolled her eyes before storming away.

“Better luck next time, Prongs,” Sirius laughed.

“Oi! Shove it, Black!”