#37 Animagus




WOAH!!

Ok, this was odd…

Professor McGonagall had just turned into a cat.

WHAT?

He supposed he should have been listening to what she was saying before this transformation.

Yup, that miiight help piece things together. But no time for that now. SHE’S A CAT!!

Lee watched wide eyed as she re-appeared in her human form.

“Mr Jordan,” she said, glowering. “It is clear , from your facial expression, that you were not listening to a word before my transformation. So you know what you can do to make up for it?”

“Give you some cream?”

Niiice smile.

“Detention.”

“Oh.”

#12 Charms


Swiiishy Flick. Swiiiishy Flick.

Pftt. This magic malarkey was eeeeasy!! Just a few swishy bits, a few jabby whatsists, and VOILA! You’re levilating a feather.

Brilliant!!

An 11 year old Lee sat zooming his feather around Charms class. He was surprised he had taken to it so easily. He was not worried. Feathers were niiice and soft. So no harm could possibly be done. So there.

Apart from the pointy bit at the end. Ah yes. That could hurt if if it ever accidently poked someone in the –

“Aghhhhhh!! MY EYE!!”

“Sorry Angelina.”

Now, THAT was gonna leave a mark.

#39 Duel


“What. An. Idiot.” Expressed Lee as he and the twins sat in Muggle Studdies, looking at printed stills in books of Muggle Dueling. Lee’s expression was over a fool in a black cape, boots and weird little masky thingy, who was thowing his glove around for some reason. A caption issuing from the characters mouth said, “I challenge you to a duel!!”

“What, with that pointy little thing?” Said Lee, observing the mans dagger. “What’s he challenging? An ant?”

He turned the page and was instantly silenced. Pictures depicting bloodstained bodies and corpses on floors.

Ok, he was wrong.

Gulp.

#94 Allergic


“But Angelinaaaaaaaaaaaaa,” moaned a twelve year old Lee. “You haaaaaaave to comeeee. It will be coooollllllllllll. You’ll laiike it.”

He followed her around the common room like a little kid. Sweet really. If you liked that sort of thing.

He had been trying to convince her to visit him in the summer. Which would have been fine, but there was one teeny tiny problem.

Fred and George would also be there.

“Nope, sorry, no can do,” she said, trying to dodge him, and sidestepping him as he tried to grab hold of her..

“But whaiiiiii?”

“I’m allergic to Weasley Twins.”

#22 Kneazle


“Ok, I’m sorry! Im sorry im sorry!” Said Lee, backing away from the ginger cat as it stalked him across the common room. “I didn’t mean it! ‘Mione! Call him off!!”

“Only is you say it..” She said. She stood a little while off, arms crossed and smirking in a rather evil way as Crookshanks edged nearer.

“I cant..”

“Say it!”

“But I don’t wanna!”

“Just say it. It will be worse for you if you don’t.”

“Fine!” said Lee. “Hogwarts; A History is really interesting and not a load of waffle. Happy?!”

“Yes, actually. Here, Crookshanks!”

Stupid, ugly Kneazle.

#87 Plaid

Lee had somehow managed to convince Angelina that taking a walk around the lake with him on her birthday was a good thing to do. How he managed to do this, he had no idea, as it was early January and it was bloomin’ freeeezing.

“Happy Birthdayyy!!” He said, stopping walking and producing a rather shoddily wrapped gift.

“Wow.” Angelina blinked. This was the second present she had received from him. “Er..thanks.”

She took it and unwrapped it, happy that he had remembered. But then out fell –

Plaid Mittens.

Yeeeah, Lee really wasn’t too good at the whole “gift” fandango.

#79 Cold Hands


“Here,” said Lee, helping Angelina do her coat buttons up on the way into Hogsmead. She was having difficulty, as she was wearing mittens. However, they were NOT the ones that Lee had gotten her for her Birthday. He didn’t let this bother him, and came to the conclusion that she was probably saving them for best.

He did up his buttons, and when he got to the top most one, his hand accidently prushed the sides of her face. It was like a small electric shock. “Sorry,” he said.

“Your hands are cold.”

“Cold hands, warm heart,” he smiled.

#82 Careful


“Careful Angelina!” Warned Lee. “Come any closer and you may just find yourself waking up in the morning in the great hall with a toilet seat stuck to your head.” He said it with a combination of menace and amusement, and winked as he finished.

She liked to think it was an empty threat.

That’s what she LIKED to think. But she knew Lee far toO well for that. So she put his broom down, and closed the window that she was dangling it out of. Darn.

Ah well. She could always braid his hair while he was asleep.

Mwhahahaha!!

#74 X-tinguish

“Oh no.” The utterance was issued nearly silently from Angelina’s lips. She stopped on her way down the girls stairway, midway through tieing up her hair, and stared,

Fire. In the common room. Fred. George. Lee.

Not Good.

The twins and Lee were trying to beat the fire out with an armchair cushion. Unsucessfully. Lee turned around, saw hew gawping, and waved cheerily.

“Oh, this?” he asked, pointing at the fire. “Its nothing! Really! Katies just gone to fetch an x-tiguisher thingy…should be out in no time.”

Angelina nodded weakly and climbed the stairs back the way she had come.

#76 Zap

It was morning, and a three year old Lee ran around the house, fathers wand in hand and giggling stupidly. Wearing nothing but a nappy.

“Zap!” he yelled, pointing the wand in every direction. “ZAP! ZAP ZAP ZAP!!”

“Now, Lee, just give the wand to mummy and –“

“No! ZAP! Ribbit.”

“What?” Asked his mother, quizzically.

“I ZAPPED chooo!” Said Lee with an expression of frustration. “So you ish now a fwoggy. Ribbit. Say ittt mummieeeeeeeeeee!”

Mrs Jordan rolled her eyes.

“Lee, I’m not going to – “

“SAY IT!”

Sighh. She rolled her eyes.

“Fine. Ribbit.”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!”

“Gimme the wand.”

#70 Team



“I am NOT working with Lee.” Angelina told Professor Flitwick in Charms. “No way. Not ever. Never.”

“Oi!” Said Lee, looking stricken. “I work well in a team!”

“No you don’t! “

“Yes, I do. I’m known for it.”

Angelina rolled her eyes.

“Lee, why do you think they wont let you on the Quidditch team?”

“I’m too skilled.”

“No, because you took out Katie when she tried to get the Quaffle.”

“That’s what you’re supposed to do to an opponent!”

“She was on your team!”

“Oh yeah. Good point, that.”

Flitwick told himself NOT to get involved. Too risky.

#19 Wand

Lee was excited. Moments earlier he had entered Olivanders and, after testing about twenty wands, had found the one that was right for him. He liked his wand, and he couldn’t wait to use it. But this excitement of this eleven year old boy had not taken over so wholey that it had covered up the need to cause trouble. Or, Lee’s cheeky bone, as he liked to call it.

“Mister,” he said. “Can I have my wand for free?”

This was the 10th time of asking.

“Say that again and I’ll shove that wand right up your – “

“Fine.”

#27 Owl


“I don’t WANT an owl!”

Little eleven year old Lee trudged along behind his mother in the Magical Menagerie. She was trying to convince him he needed an owl.

The lady at the counter considered him. “Ah, don’t want an owl eh?”

Lee nodded.

“But they’re very useful. Carry letters. Your mummy will know you’re safe, then.”

“I don’t WANT a boring owl!”

“What do you want then, sweetie?” Asked the lady.

“Snake.”

“But, don’t you know? A snake’s favourite snacks are little boys. One big chomp and you’ll be gone!”

Lee considered this.

“One owl please.”

#31 Dressrobes


It was a whole month away, and already Angelina was worrying about what she was going to wear to the Yule Ball. She wanted a nice dress, but she didn’t think “dressrobes,” really covered it. She didn’t want brightly coloured robes. She wasnted lace, frills and sequins. The kind of thing you saw on teen movie stars going up the red carpet.

Not baggy old dress robes.

She saw a pair of scissors lying on her bedside table. Uh-Oh. Idea time.
She viscously tore at the robes, trying to make them into something pretty and wearable, and –

This couldn’t work.

#35 Pureblood.

If there was one thing that Lee could never understand, it was Slytherins and their pureblood mania. It was fair to day that Lee dislike Slytherins. And he took enjoyment in tormenting them at every chance he got.

Creepy creep into Draco’s bag.

What can we find in here?

Hair gel. Perfect.

Quick bit of hocus pocus..aaaand..DONE!!

Zippy up bag, sneak away…teheehee

Draco emerged at breakfast the next day with bright green hair. Everybody sniggered into their cerial. People were obviously too scared of him to tell him he had a green head.

Advise: Laughing when eating often causes chokage.

#42 Portraits.

Now this was good. Lee stood in front of a wall full of portraits on the fifth floor, making movements like a conductor, wand held in hand like a baton.
He had taught them to sing! Brilliant!

A portrait choir. But that wasn’t the best part. Nor was the best part that he had taught them how to sing “Nelly the Elephant.”

The BEST part was he had trained then to sing “Nelly the Elephant” whenever Umbridge walked by.

He had even bewitched Sir Cadagan to shout “Oi! Fatty!” in a rather tuneful way between choruses.

Lee better hide. Quick.

#47 Portkey

“This is disgusting!” exclaimed Angelina in shock when she saw the portkey that would be taking them both to the Quidditch World Cup. “I am not taking that. No way. Never in a million years.”

“Well, I’ll admit it’s not ideal,” said Lee, “but it’s the only thing there was to hand.”

“Who would even EVER think of making an old, AND USED sick bag as a portkey? WHO!?”

Lee gave a shy smile. “Yes, well…ah…”

“You did this?!”

“They needed something to turn into a portkey! And, we flew to the site, and im not a good flyer, see.”

#44 Ford Anglia


“I want one of those.”

Lee was staring wide mouthed and bug eyed, standing shivering in the Weasley’s icy garage. Fred and George had snuck him in, intent on proving to him that their father’s car really DID fly. Which, before of course, Lee had said was liiiies.

“Don't be an idiot.” He had said, “He works for the misuse of Muggle Artefacts Department, and yet YOU think he has a flying car? Yeah, right.”

“Look and see, my little friend,” George had said, and had grandly opened the garage door.

Lee was stunned.

“Blimey.” Was all he could say.

#52 Bore


“Boooooriiiinggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Everyone in the class looked around. They stared at him in shock. Turning to his right, he caught sight of Fred and George. Both gave him the thumbs up under their desk. To his left, Angelina was giving him a stern look. Teehee.
What was more shocking was that the interruption had actually caused Binns to stop mid-lecture.

Which was a feat in itself.

“Are you saying,” drawled the ghost. “That I bore you with my wisdom and knowledge?”

“Got it in one, sir.” Lee finished with a hearty wink.

Binns blinked. He didn’t quite know what to say.

#65 Ooze

“Grossssssss.”

This was Angelina’s reaction to all the hard work, blood, sweat AND tears (not Lee’s tears, but the fourth year he had bullied into making his Muggle Studdies project for him) into creating the perfect project. He couldn’t help feel a little hurt. A lot of thought had gone into this, and he was very proud.
But she looked down at it, utterly horrified.

“It’s not gross. Its cooool. Look at it ooze out! Briliant!”

“Eww. Lee, that’s not brilliant, that’s disgusting. And also kinda twisted.”

“No it’s not, it’s great! It – “

“It’s a Papier-mâché runny nose, Lee.”

“Exactly.”

#58 Hoot


Lee raised a sceptical eyebrow at Angelina.

“Let me get this strait…” he said slowly. “You…you are throwing a birthday party for your owl?”Angelina grinned at him. Wow, thought Lee. And she thinks I’m the idiot?

“Yes!” she said, looking imensly happy and excitable. The eleven year old was clutching an invitation in her hand. Badly drawn owls skattered the front.

“No way.”

Angelina’s face fell.

“Aww come on!” she pleaded. “Please come!! It’ll be a hoot!”

She broke into fits of giggles. “Owl…hoot…GEDDIT? Do you? Do you see?!”

No WAY was Lee going to an owl party. Ever.

#68 Roar

Teehee

Snicker, Snigger.

Hand over mouth, Lee. Do NOT ruin it!!

Lee waited behind a pillar in the deserted corridor as Angelina approached, fresh from late Quidditch practice. It was hard not to giggle, but he wanted to scare her, and scare her GOOOD.

Evil grin.

He waited until the footprints that he knew were Angelina’s approached nearer and nearer, choosing his moment for maximum impact, until-

“ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!”

An angry shriek. He looked over, expecting to see Angelina cowering, but Angelina was not there. It was -

Professor McGonagall. She looked furious.

“Uh, Sorry Professor...”

“Detention, Jordan!”

“Darn.”

#54 Dare

“Mr Jordan,” said Dumbledore, fixing him with a stare over the top of his half moon spectacals. “Do you really expect me to believe that you didn’t really want Malfoy to end up with a pigs snout, and that you only did it because it was, indeed, a dare?”

“Yes sir,” nodded Lee. “It pained me to do it, but-“

Dumbledore held up a hand to stop him.

“Would you mind telling me who dared you to do such a thing?”

Ah. Good point, that.

“Erm. Steve. It was Steve.”

“Steve? Steve who?”

“Yes, Steve.”

“Steve who?”

“Yes. Steve.”

Runnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

#63 Mooch

What was it with Witches and shopping? Mooch here..mooch there. They hardly ever bought anything, they just….MOOCHED?

WHAT IS THE POINT IN THAT?!

These were the thoughts occupying a sixteen year old Lee as he trailed along behind Angelina through the streets of Hogsmead. If this was the only way that he was going to be able to spend time with her, then it better be worth something.

The least she could do was buy him something from Honeydukes.
Not much to ask, is it?

“Oh Look!!” she squealed, and ran to the nearest display.

Lee huffed a heavy sigh.

#80 Farewell Fred

The war was over. Angelina crouched beside Fred’s lifeless body in the hall, weeping profusely.

Lee spotted this at once. Dropping his wand he trudged over to where she was crouching. He bent down, wiped a tear from her face and scooped her into his arms. And there she wept into his shoulder. He closed his eyes, his grief combining with hers, and lay his head atop of hers. He couldn’t help the tears that fell.

They stayed there until night filled the empty hall, until morning came.

But it would pass, and the light would shine once again. Someday.