#69 slap

“Mate, you cant do it,” slurred Lee’s friend, Sam. “You can’t. You just can’t”

Lee had already discovered that confiding in Sam was baaad. But he needed to tell someone. And if it was a choice between him and the twins, well – there was no question.

“I can and I will,” said Lee, sounding rather like a stubborn child. Sam grunted.

“You’re gonna get a slap. Its what girls do as soon as you go in for the kiss, and BAMM! Your cheek’s red for days.

“And you would know,” snorted Lee.

“Yes, I would.” He nodded firmly.

“Yeah, right.”

#93 Chicken

“Right!” Lee told himself. “Stop being such a big, fat chicken! You can do this! Just do it. Its simple. Just tell her she’s pretty, and erm…say she has..er…nice teeth. Yes. Good. And then just DO it. Just kiss her. You can do this Lee.”

He was muttering to himself again. The night he had planned to kiss Angelina Johnson. But he was so nervous. He felt sick. Better clean his teeth again.

He was going to be able to do this!

Lee frowned at his reflection in the mirror.

“You are so NOT gonna be able to do this.”

#61 Kiss

Lee walked swiftly back to the common room, Angelina did the same, but though a different route of the castle. Both walked with eyes wide, and more speed than was really necessary.

Lee reached the portrait first, and Angelina arrived just in time to see Lee disappearing to the boys dorm. She flew up to the girls.

Both lay awake. Lee ignored Fred and George’s questions about what had happened.

“She must have chucked him then,” decided George.

“They weren’t even going out.”

“Yeah. That IS depressing.”

Lee and Angelina’s minds raced. They had kissed. Lee had actually done it!

#81 Depression

“Common mate,” said Fred that morning. “You cant lay here in depression because of a girl! Lets get out! Blow up a few toilets! Its good for you!”

“Good for the soul,” added George.

Lee had not moved all night. Or slept.

“I’m not depressed, you idiots!”

“Lee..” frowned George, sympathetically.

“I’m not! I’m in shock!”

Fred and George’s faces went white.

“You didn’t..she..you cant have….”

“I…I kissed her! I did!”

He was paler than the twins. But happy. Insanely happy. He still couldn’t believe it.

That’s when Fred ruined the moment by doing a comedy faint off the bed.

# 57 Gape

Breakfast was a rather shy affair. Well, it would have been was it not for Fred and George. First, Lee thought he was safe. He had expressly forbid them to tell ANYONE about the kiss. At first, all they did upon seeing Lee and Angelina in the hall was gape. They gaped, mouths open wide, from one to the other, still hugely in shock. This Lee could deal with.

But then they ruined it.

“Pass the butter,” said Lee.

“Get Angelina to pass it.”

“With her lips!”

The rest of breakfast conversation was drowned out in kissy noises and sniggers.

# 72 Vex

“Ok,” said Sam, after hearing the news, looking serious. “The main thing now is not to annoy her. Otherwise she WILL hex you.”

Lee’s brow furrowed. “She might shout at me, yeah, but I don’t think she would – “

Sam rolled his eyes.

“Look. You trouble her, or vex her..vex..hex..! See where I’m going with this? it rhymes! Therefore, if you vex her, she will hex youuu!”

His eyes were wide. Lee tilted his head.

“How do you –“

“Common knowledge innit, mate. The way the witch’s mind works. Everyone knows that they put store in things that rhyme. DUH”

# 59 Ignore

“No WAY!” exclaimed Katie Bell when Angelina had finished telling her what had happened. “He KISSED you? After you showed the world his pyjamas and put his bed in the great hall? His Thomas the Tank Engine pyjamas, I hasten to add.”

Katie looked astonished.

“He doesn’t, strictly speaking, know it was me. And it wasn’t really! Fred and George did it!”

“You paid them to.”

“Shhhh,” said Angelina stubbornly. “We’re ignoring that part.”

Katie’s eyebrow was raised. Never a good thing

“Are we now?”

Angelina gulped. He could never, ever know it was her.

Unless he reaaaally annoyed her.

# 11 History of Magic

“Why would anyone wanna know the history of Magic?” Lee complained as they left said class. It had put him in a very bad mood. Hw slumped down the stairs, kicking his bag and glaring at passers by.

“Its important,” pointed out Angelina.

“But why? Its here now isn’t it? Why should we care where it came from? You don’t order a pizza and then worry about how it was created do you? No, you eat it.”

“But you chose the place to order it. That’s like history of magic. Or pizza. You –“

“Mmmm…Pizzaaaaaaaaaaaaa………”

He drifted off, mouth watering.

# 10 Arithmancy

“What even IS Arithmancy?” questioned Lee as he poured over his third year options with Fred and George at the Burrow.

“I dunno..” mused Fred. “Like some kind of soup?”

Lee threw a quill at him.

“Aghh my eye!!” Screamed Fred. George smirked, Lee looked mortified. Fred’s screams turned into fits of giggles as he saw Lee’s face. He got up, holding the quill to look like it was in his eye and held it away, so that Lee could see he was plainly unharmed. “I joke! I’m ok!!”

The twins continued to laugh, gasping for breath.

“Gits.” Muttered Lee.

#75 Yodel

“Hey, Angelina, here’s a good one for you!”

Lee was once again trying to lure Angelina with his wit and comedy, a feat that he had been trying now for an hour strait. She was still not impressed.

“Go on, then.”

“Knock knock.”

Angelina rolled her eyes and went back to flicking through her magazine.

“Who’s there?” She said lazily.

“Little old lady.”

She sighed.

“Little old lady who?”

Lee broke into fits of giggles. Angelina gave him a scrutinising look and resumed her reading.

“S-see?” He gasped, “It sounds like yodelling!!”

And he collapsed once more, imitating the yodel.

#38 Patronus

“Rawrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!” screamed a first year Lee, lumbering around the boys dormitories one night, arms outstretched and hands curled into claws. He ambled toward Fred and George, who both lay smirking on Lee’s bed.

Lee, was a dinosaur. Duh.

“Rawrrrrrrrrrrrr. No Potronus can defeat me. Rawrrr!”

At which point Fred threw a stuffy, heavy pillow at Lee’s face. It hit, and Lee toppled backwards, taken unawares, with a soft cry of “umph!”

“But pillows, on the other hand..” he mumbled, rubbing his nose.

He was suddenly caught under a rain of pillows cast by the twins.

“Thanks.” Came his muffled voice

#41 Thestrals.

The Care of Magical Creatures lesson on thestrals had shaken Lee entirely. He hobbled across the lawn, clutching Angelina (rather painful) around the neck for support. Fred and George patted a concerned looking Hagrid on the back in a cheery manner, and followed suit. They were still giggling.



......Lee could not see the thestrals.....

........Therefore, he became the image of fear when one decided to lick his ear.


He had shouted, he had panicked. It had been made especially bad by the fact that he was staring where he thought they were – a good 10 yards in the wrong direction.

#83 Fearful

Angelina wished she was more Academic, wished that she could be chosen for an international Quidditch team, and sometimes even wished that her lips were a little fuller.

But more than anything, she wished that Fred, George and Lee would stop jumping out from behind things at her.

She had grown fearful every time she walked the corridors, waiting for the tell-tale signs of the usual snickering and the like from whichever closest object there was.

Untill one, bad scare had her running to the common room as fast as she could go.

“I think she peed herself,” snickered George.

#96 Socks

Angelina was surprised to see that this Christmas, Lee had bothered to get her a present. She opened the bundle expectedly, but her face fell when she found that it was –

“Socks?”

Lee nodded enthusiastically. Angelina worked to conceal her disappointment of the pink bobbly things in her hand.

“They’re..er…great.” She smiled at him convincingly.

Lee stayed up that night, late enough in the common room to be present when Dobby entered to start clearing up.

“Thanks for the gift idea, Dobby. She loved them!” Said Lee, elbowing the elf gently.

Dobby gave a watery smile.

“Dobby knew it, sir!!”

#97 Dictionary

Here!” Yelled Angelina in the middle of a (very frequently occurring) argument. She threw a dictionary toward Lee, who had been too lazy to get it himself. “Why don’t you look up the definition of “Slothful!””

Lee caught the dictionary. “I know what Slothful meaaans! Thank you verrry much.”

He poked his tongue out at her.

“How about Pinhead?!”

“That too,” said Lee, yawning.

Angelina screwed up her fists and thought in an angry silence. After a few minutes she came out with.

“How about IGNORAMUS?!”

“I know – ah.”

Lee deflated. He had to admit he was stumped this time.

#5 Ancient Runes

“Oi, Angelina!” Yelled Lee, as he sat pouring over his options for third year. “I need help.”

And he did indeed. All the words on the shiny leaflets meant NOTHING to him. Noooothinggg. Silly subjects. Why did they like to confuse him so much?!

“What…What’s Anc….Ant….Ant-chant Rooons?” He asked as she came over to him and sat beside him.

She sighed in exasperation.

“Ancient Runes,” she stressed.

“Yeah that.”

She looked at him quizzically.

“Lee Jordan. You are Thirteen years old. And you don’t know what it is?”

“I thought it was something to do with chanting ants?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

#14 Hogwarts; A History

“Why, why o why o whaiiiiiii do you read that thing?” Asked Lee, casting a suspicious eye at Hermione as he poured over it in the corner of the common room, for what Lee was sure must have been, like, the three hundredth time.

“Its interesting,” she said haughtily, turning her nose up at him.


“No, its not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Noooo, its not.”

Hermione sighed and gave a strange nod at something above Lees head. Before he could turn to look –

BAM!!!

Book to the head. Not good.

Painful, in fact.

Angelina grinned from behind him, heavy book in hands.

#32 Common Room


“Do you HAVE to do that in here?” Asked Angelina, casting a disapproving eye over the twins and Lee, who were sending smoke and bangs issuing from each others heads.

“Yes.” Answered Lee.

“But its so distracting!” She threw up her arms. (Not literally, of course. Duh.)

“If you don’t like it,” suggested Lee. “Leave the common room.”

“No!” she said, outraged.

“Fair ‘nuff.” Shrugged Lee, a loud whistle issuing from his ears.

“Hey, watch this!”Suddenly a loud BOOM issued from Fred’s pants.

“Stop that!” she demanded.

“Sorry Angelina,” Grinned Fred, evilly. “That one was me.”

“Evacuate!!” Someone called.

#34 Parseltonge


“Wicked,” grinned a fourteen year old Lee, upon hearing that Harry Potter was a parseltongue. “That is so COOOOOOOLLLL!!!”

“Lee!” said Angelina stiffly. “This is SERIOUS! Think about how he’s feeling!”

“I bet he’s dead happy,” he grinned. “Wish I could do that.”

Angelina raised a sceptical eyebrow.

“You wish there was a possibility you were Slytherins Heir?”

“Well, no. But think how many ways I could squiiish that little runt Malfoy if I could call a load of dirty great snakes on him! It would be brilliant!”

“Poor Harry.” Said Angelina, shaking her head in sympathy.

“LUCKY Harry!!”

Siiigh…

#85 Snappish


“What is wrong with you!?” Asked Angelina as Lee paced angrily around the Common Room.

“Nothing!” He snapped.

“You suuure?”

“Yes! God what is this? Twenty Questions?”

“Jeesh, sorry.”

“Shut up.”


Angelina did not try to talk again, for fear of being verbally abused again. Gawd he was snappish today.




In actual fact, something was wrong. Lee had done all he could to annoy McGonagall. All in one morning he had transfigured her hat into a pig (while it was on her head) AND proceeded to call the pig “Minnie,” after herself.
Yet she hadn’t reacted at all.


No fair.

#9 Defence Against the Dark Arts

“Now Lee,” asked the professor, holding a cage containing some disgusting looking, sneering creature right in front of Lee’s desk. Lee had failed in sliding down his chair so as not to be seen, and was now faced with – a question.

Great.

“Lee,” continued the DADA professor. “What do we do when confronted whith one of these nasty fellows?”

Lee thought.

He got up swiftly from his chair and threw his arms out wide, before bellowing,

“BEGONE, DEMON!!!!!!”

The professor was about to lecture him, when Lee pointed something out.

The creature was huddle against its cage, shaking in fear.

#7 Care of Magical Creatures


“You cant make me go back there. You can’t. I won’t – AGHHH!!”

For Angelina, with the help of the twins, had tackled Lee and were now carrying him themselves down the sloping lawns and towards Hagrid’s Hut.

It was more than fair to say that the incedent with thestrals had affected him. He was refusing to go back to COMC, and it was only the twins and Angelina’s tackle carry that got him down there. He clung to Angelina the whole time, casting nervous glances around for unseen flying horses, which Fred said they were covering again.

They weren’t. Snigger.

#57 Fight



“I hate him!”

Angelina burst into the common room, where Lee sat by the fire.

“Who?” He yawned.

“Fred!!”

“What did he do?” It was soo hard not to snicker, but he wanted to avoid a fight..

“He got me with a trip jinx. I went flying down the stairs, strait into Dumbledore!” She yelled, rather erratically, hair and arms flailing.

Don’t laugh, Lee told himself. Don’t.

“I hate him! Oh Lee I ACTUALLY HATE him so so so much!! I hate him I hate him I HATE HIM!!”

“So do you hate him then?”

But she didn’t get it.

#5 Astronomy


“It’s love!!” sang George as Lee chased him around the boys dorms. He was growing increasingly infuriated, whereas George (egged on my Fred) was growing increasingly annoying. He had been leaping around the dorm for the past half hour, singing ditties about Lee and Angelina and making kissy faces at Lee. Lee had given chase at the final straw – when he had done pretend snogging with his pillow.

“Its love!” George repeated. “I can tell! I see it in the stars!!”

“Oh yeah,” grunted Lee. “Because you’re just THAT good at Astronomy.”

“I am, as it happens.”

“Course you areee.”

#29 Pensieve


“I’d love a Pensieve,” Lee started at breakfast one morning. He shoved another spoonful of soggy cornflakes into his mouth, ignoring the disgusted looks he was getting form both Angelina and Hermione.

“And what would you do with one of them?” Asked Angelina. “You have no thoughts to put in it.”

She nearly choked laughing and Lee stuck his (rather cornflakey) tongue out at her while Hermione patted her on the back.

“I could see the memory of Malfoy getting attacked by Buckbeak.”

A glazed, happy, far away look came over his face.

“I could watch it again and again...”