If he had been in possession of a time-turner he would have used it in an instant. It did not matter to him that tampering with time was dangerous business. Nor did he care that wizards were driven mad because of the golden objects. He already was losing his mind.

Severus' panicked expression and sweat running down his brow only served as fuel to the fire James was tending to.

"Will you look at that," he mocked with another flick of his wand. "Snivellus lost his temper and lost the girl. Not that he ever had her to begin with."

Lily lay like a broken China doll on her bed back in Gryffindor Tower. She had been that way for a few days now and had even threatened to hex her roommate's mouth off if she didn't leave her alone. How DARE he have said that to her? After everything that had been through. After knowing how sensitive she was to being a muggleborn and how he had told her that it didn't matter to people at Hogwarts. How it didn't matter to him.

But that had been a lie. It had all been a lie.

James had been right.

Severus had tried over and over again the following days to try and apologize to Lily, but nothing he did ever kept her attention. She would shoot him glares. Or leave the room. Once she threatened to hex his tongue off if he spoke another word to her. To make matters worse, he had to watch her grow closer to Potter every day.

He was living his worst nightmare and would probably go down in the history books as the most cowardly man that ever lived.

She had slipped through his fingers just because he could not keep his temper.

"You're better off this way, Lily," James said in a mockingly reassuring voice. "I hear he still keeps a picture of you in your nightgown under his pillow as is."

Lily shot James a warning look but refused to reply. She just didn't feel like arguing with him right now. But if he kept talking she couldn't promise anything.

"I don't see what you saw in him in the first place. The bloke is a total ---"

"Will you just SHUT UP James Potter?!" Lily snapped. "He was my first real friend and understood me better than you ever will."

Severus had not changed his seat in Potions, hoping that Lily would still come and sit next to him like she had since their first year...but that wasn't the case. As if rubbing salt into the wound, she went and sat down beside Potter and flipped her red hair as she did.

He spent the entire lesson trying to catch the tiniest a glimpse of her face. But doing so was like trying to catch smoke with his bare hands.

Was this it? Was this his new constant?

Distracted, Severus added too much Valerian root to his cauldron and

BOOM!

Mudblood.

Why had he used that word? He had nothing against muggles, save one... but that man was no longer in his life.

With the school year quickly coming to a close, he knew he had to make amends before summer break or else he really would lose her forever. Yes, the Slytherin was holding on to a hope that Lily Evans would see that there was no malice in his heart. Take him back as a friend. Forgive him for his mistake. Not leave him all alone...

"GO AWAY," she shouted. "I NEVER want to see you again. NEVER."

The years passed seemingly in the blink of an eye and before anyone realized it they were seventh years. Well, anyone that is besides Severus. He spent his remaining two years at Hogwarts wishing every single day that he had a timeturner so that he could go back and stop himself from ever saying that word to Lily.

He had lost her.

Now Potter had her.

Power. Power was what brought people to you. If he had more power he would have more influence and then she would come back to him. Where best to find that than....the Dark Arts....

Lily was sitting with her girl friends in the stands watching James suddenly dive towards the ground after spotting the snitch.

"Come on James!"

The wind picked up, knocking the Gryffindor off his broom. It vibrated violently, but James managed to keep his grip on it and dangled there like a rag doll.

Severus smirked at this. Finally Potter would get his ---

But then Lily screamed and he saw the look of terror on her face as Potter's grip slipped. Fighting his own personality, Severus gave his wand an inconspicuous flick and muttered a spell to steady Potter's broom.

Snape forced himself to pull his head out of the pensieve once again. He was slightly disgusted with himself. Saving Potter like that. It would have been better if he had fallen to his doom. Why give to the git that only ever took? The ironic thing was, and he was not aware of this fact, was that over a decade from now he would be doing the same thing. Only this time he would be saving Potter's son.

Lily's son.

The boy that would forever change him.

The boy who lived and the boy who within him Lily lived.

Severus wasn't aware of the transformation, but it was almost as though his persona were becoming animalistic. His already pale features looked sunken in and almost twisted. Even Lily had noticed, despite trying her best to ignore her former best friend, and it frightened her. They had not spoken since he had called her that word, and she still didn't want to. Especially now.

The boy she knew was gone and had transformed into...something else.

Severus, on the other hand, had never felt more at home before. He had friends. He had his ambitions. He had everything.

Save one thing.

It was turning out to be the definition of the perfect day. The sun shining outside the Great Hall leaked through the windows and bathed students' faces as they all sat down to their final breakfast of the term.

And their final one at Hogwarts for others.

Lily seemed even more radiant than usual, as if she had just received the best news in the world, while sitting next to James at the Gryffindor tale. Her brilliant green eyes didn't even bother to look at the Slytherin table.

"James," she said while looking down at their hands. "I love you."

His face dropped.

He already knew he shouldn't have been staring at her, but it was too late now. He felt as though a dementor had sucked him completely dry. Hearing her say THOSE words to Potter just made this the worst day of his life.

"Hey, Severus, you listening?" said a boy who jabbed his side with a fork. "Are you in or out?"

Forcing himself to look away, he clenched his fists tightly enough to draw blood. "In for what?"

"To join the Death Eaters. I hear they are recruiting."

Severus gave one final look her way. "In."

The final train ride from Hogwarts had been horrible. Severus had been in a compartment all by himself thanks to a rumor Potter had spread about him having a gas problem. James and his gang had shared the compartment across from his. With Lily. He had to watch his happiness slipping away from him.

Greeted by rain when they arrived in London, Severus found himself without an umbrella. His shoes were all but falling apart, causing his socks to become soaked.

"Looks like your lucky day," Potter sneered as he stepped off the train. "You hair could use a rinse."

Severus just stood there alone in the rain as he watched families pass by. This is what his existence had come down to. After seven years at Hogwarts, he had left it worse off than when he had entered.

But then something happened. Something that chased away the cold of the rain and acted like a portkey to a better place. Gentle hands appeared, offering him a red umbrella that matched her red hair. He looked into her green eyes, saying nothing, and simply stood there.

"Goodbye, Severus," was all she said as she walked away and didn't look back.

He tried passing the time by counting how many Ford Anglia's drove by, but soon the number reminded him that he was all alone. He had no idea how long he stood there in the rain, umbrella unopened. Watching. Waiting. Hoping.

Severus' dark eyes looked down at the umbrella in his hands and bit down hard on his lip at what he saw there. Just her name. Carved into the handle with magic.

The sound of footsteps approaching tore his gaze away, but it was not Lily but Lucius standing before him.

"Let's go home. We're your real friends now."

The years past and no correspondence came between the two. It was as if their friendship had been nothing but a dream.

You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine.

Her words continued to echo in his head every moment of every day and the only way to mute this torturing mantra was to dive deeper and deeper into the Dark Arts.

Standing in the snow, he was startled by the appearance of an owl with an invitation for him. A wedding invitation.

He quickly tore it up and let the pieces blow away in the breeze.

What a cruel joke.

Taking one pins that held her red hair up, Lily set it down on the dresser unaware that her now husband was standing in the doorway watching her while her emotions piled on top of each other and threatened to snowball into the overwhelming.

It had been the happiest day of her life, but tainted by the sadness of someone who had once been important to her not being a part of it.

"Mrs. Potter," James said, wrapping his arms around her.

Lily Potter. That was her name now. Her future. It was time to let go of the past.

His left forearm burning with the heavy weight it carried, Severus continued to shut himself away deep inside him and allowed the darkness of his ambition to push him towards glory as long as he did his master's bidding.

Stepping closer to the slightly ajar door, Severus took a step further to hear better.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies..."

"HEY YOU! GET OUTA HERE," the barman shouted.

And like a dog with it's tail between its legs, Severus fled.

"Two...there are two who threaten me," the Dark Lord hissed as he seemed to glide across the floor as if performing a terrifying dance. "You are certain there is no more?"

"That is all I heard, my Lord," Severus replied as he bowed his head.

"James and Lily Potter. It is their blood that threatens me. They must be destroyed."

Severus' felt as though his lungs had collapsed and his heart pierced with a hot poker. "Surely, my Lord, you must consid---"

"Do not question me, Severus," he hissed, his red eyes glowing with rage. "The Potters. They must die."

"Licorice snap?" Dumbledore asked calmly. "I have to warn you, they're a wee bit sha---"

"I am not here to satisfy my sweet tooth," Severus interrupted, his eyes wild and dark. He was still dropped to his knees, too weak with remorse to stand.

"I understand why you are here, Severus," the old wizard replied, his tone still laced with disgust and only the slightest hint of pity for the man before him. "What will you give me in return."

Bargaining. Severus swallowed hard and responded without even taking a moment to think. He knew.

"Anything."

Anything to save her.

No muggle repelling enchantments could contain the celebration that went on that night. The night the Dark Lord had fallen. The news had traveled quickly, but not as quickly as Severus who had been hidden in the shadows nearby the Potter home at the Dark Lord's request.

He couldn't believe it. Dumbledore had somehow accomplished the impossible. She was safe. She was saved.

Hurrying inside, hoping to reveal everything, he first saw Potter. Dead.

No....it can't be.

But it was.

Collapsing against the wall when he saw her lifeless body, he could literally feel his soul tearing in two.

Hours had passed, but he could still feel the way her empty eyes pieced him. The way the warmth was leaving her. He hadn't even heard the cries of the child. The child hadn't matter to him.

"The boy lives..." Dumbledore whispered

Severus' lips curled into a snarl. "The boy does not need protection...the Dark Lord is gone."

Why was the old fool tormenting him like this. Hadn't his lie to protect her been enough.

"The Dark Lord will return and when he does, the boy will be in terrible danger!" He gave a small pause. "He has her eyes."

Her eyes. His weakness. Severus had resolved that he was allergic to weakness these many years, but now here he was in Dumbledore's office being exploited.

"Help me protect Lily's son."

Severus' eyes grew wild. Doing this would mean that he was doing something for Potter. The man Lily had chosen over him. The man that had forced him down this path. ALL of this was Potter's fault. Why should he help? Why should he care?

But...for Lily and ONLY Lily he could.

"Very well. But never — never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it!" he hissed.

Guilt continued to bore into what was left of Severus in the years that past after her death. Locked away in the comfort of darkness that filled his home, he flipped through the Daily Prophet with disinterest. He did not care that there was a sale at ‎Eeylops Owl Emporium or that some wizard had splinched his way into St. Mungo's.

How many years had it been? Time seemed to crawl at a flobberworm's pace.

The pecking of an owl at the window pulled him from his trance. The owl carried a letter with Dumbledore's personal seal.

It was time.

His posture straightening a bit more than usual, his icy dark eyes followed the boy as he strut up to the stool and to be Sorted. He could smell it from here, the stench of the same arrogance that his father had had.

"GRYFFINDOR!" said the hat. Severus clapped once out of obligation and stared the boy down as he went to his seat and stuffed a chocolate frog in his mouth.

For a brief moment their eyes met and he so clearly saw her reflected there that he stopped breathing.

Lily............

And the rest, as you know, is legend.