| fr2nc1z | 03-03-2005 09:57 PM |
A new version of the Daily Prophet has come out: Quote:
Toil & Trouble at the WizardingAcademy
Your friendly neighbourhood reporter has yet another set of scoops that will horrify and alarm you.
Our trusted Ministry Officials, who have so far had an extremely positive effect on the school, with grades improving greatly, have been forced to remove several of the staff at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!
Why, you may ask
Allow me to astound and amaze you.
Professor Rae, who formerly taught Defence Against the Dark Arts has been ousted from her position for allowing He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named into the HogwartsCastle, the previous term! Yes, that’s right! One of our very own so clearly acting disgracefully. Her actions led to the Dark Lord gaining access to the school and thus he was able to kill several students. It is also rumoured that she may have been a death-eater at some point and so has personal ties with You-Know-Who.
Professor’s Lainey, Airlia, Phoenix and Riddle have all been suspended mysteriously due to their failure to protect the school in its time of need. While others were risking lives, getting wounded and even killed for their beloved establishment, this lot were in the Hospital Wing recovering from having restored the lives of former ghosts. It seems the staff at Hogwarts have their priorities all muddled up. Some would even call what they did, selfish and fraudulent.
To add insult to injury, we can also EXCLUSIVELY reveal that three of the above Professor’s have also been teaching using inappropriate, dangerous methods which WEREN’T pre-approved by the ministry!
Some of our older readers will remember the second opening of the Chamber of Secrets in Harry Potter's second year. Luckily, that time no deaths were caused, however several children were taken ill. It seems Professor Lainey ironically overlooked these facts when she took her class there. You'd have thought, being a History of Magic teacher, she'd be well aware of the dangerous consequences its previous two openings have had on the school. In fact, having studied the History of the School, she would have known this yet despite what happened before, she still took kids there. Some older readers may also remember that the only people able to open the chamber, were descendants of Salazar Slytherin himself. That leads us to believe that Professor Lainey must be a relative of the founder, which also implies that, like Rae, she may be in league with the Dark Lord. As a result of her recklass class trip, several students suffered from hallucinations, claiming they'd seen Harry Potter's ghost reinacting his last stand from when he died in the second magical war.
Professor Airlia, head of Potions, encouraged children as young as 11 to brew dangerous potions not even first year Aurors attempt to make and then had the audacity to test said potions on the vulnerable children. The impressionable youngsters did so, obediently following the orders of their insistent teacher and as a result it is rumoured now that some of the children are developing disturbing side effects – some have even grown extra limbs!
As if that wasn’t bad enough, Professor Riddle also taught unsafe classes, leading children of all ages into the ForbiddenForest for lessons! She even had them approach and touch some of the creatures that dwell there! This is all despite the fact that several kids protested and appeared more than frightened of the prospect of going into such a dark, hazardous and forbidden area. Instead of listening to the concerns of her pupils, she forced them to walk on and as a result, some have been scarred for life after coming into contact with several brutal centaurs. The young Professor – who is only 19 (some may even question her suitability for teaching, at such a young and inexperienced age) – also took students INTO the lake where the Giant Squid, Kappas, Merepeople and other creatures besides, reside. Once again, the children protested, both because of the creatures and the fact that the water was below freezing but she threatened that they would fail if they did not do as she said. Not wanting to flunk their classes and have to explain their poor grades to their parents, they once again, obeyed her ridiculous commands. One child even developed hypothermia and several came down with pneumonia following the lesson. Clearly these Professors’s are unfit to teach, if they cannot even respond humanely to the cries for mercy from the little innocents they’re supposed to protect.
Following the suspension of these teachers, a minority group of students decided to try and rebel – obviously under the impression that the Professor’s they adored were actually innocent Ha! - With the help of ANOTHER Professor. That’s right! A teacher, Professor Bree, assisted these children in vandalising school property and encouraged them to disrespect and even abuse their social superiors. As a result, she too is currently suspended.
But never fear! The Ministry is well equipped to deal with these unfortunate, preventable mishaps and currently has several officials filling in for these teachers. So your children’s education will not suffer and hopefully, with their presence at the school, this term will be a much safer, satisfactory and productive one.
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Also, Miss Shwmae has posted "A Message of Concern" (which was apparently posted some time ago and I just noticed)... So I took it out from here >.<
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