"Mandatory therapy" was not a new concept to Eden. She'd been to many a court-ordered shrink sesh in her short time on this earth, and so was well-practiced in the art of getting nothing out of them. She'd perfected the sit-and-be-silent, the say-what-they-want-to-hear, the pretend-to-meaningfully-interact-with-a-prop, and especially the Keep-Your-Secrets-To-Yourself. Many hyphens, many stories. Yadayadayadayada. Feelings were a business to risky to entertain.

She'd usually sit next to a friend, and it wasn't like she didn't have options. There was Mamie and Quinn, Ash, Lia, Tadhg...but not today. They may actually want to participate in therapy.

At least there were snacks. Eden took a ~generous~ helping of cinnamon bread as she made her way to the very back row. She'd be getting lost in a floo of thought shortly.

Even though it was pleasant to sit outside by the Lake (especially now that it wasn't surrounded by a bunch of Neo-Alliance thugs), and even though Violet loved the smell of fresh bread, the idea of 'mandatory' anything rankled her.

Besides, she did not trust this woman, who had appeared so suddenly and conveniently at the Leaving Feast last year. Violet had thought they were rid of her at the Opening Feast this year, since Headmaster Trent had reappeared in his old place, but apparently no, the bossy and annoyingly cheerful woman was still at Hogwarts, apparently with enough authority to force everyone out her for some sort of group session. All the bread was obviously a bribe to win their trust. Violet took a crumpet and carried it with her on a napkin, but she didn't eat it.

"Hi, Ash, Kaira, Claudine," she said as she saw various people she knew. But her attention was fixed on Healer Poppy, because Violet wanted to get a better idea of just who this woman was and what she was up to.

Group therapy...really? This way going to help us out with what happened last term? If this is what this so called Healer Poppy thought was best for the students...then it's probably best to pop by and see how this goes. As if the therapy over the summer wasn't enough to suffice the trauma. The thought of seeing other students sit in a big circle and talk about their feelings just made her feel uncomfortable, but it's worth a shot. Making her way over seeing a group of students sitting around, Aibhi pushes a piece of hair behind her ear as she approaches everyone. Giving a slight wave to everyone, she doesn't say a word, but the expression on her face says it all. She was not comfortable about this at all. Taking a seat in the "circle of trauma" as she calls it to herself, she waits to see just what was in store for all of them and she lets out a soft, yet a little annoyed, sigh.

"The weather couldn't be better if we cast our own charm!!" The woman enthused to the Divination Professor. All so perfectly planned.

"Good morning, hello, hello, hi, good morning!" Healer Poppy dished out the greetings as the students began to arrive, the wide and welcoming smile of hers seeming to double with the filling of the seats and more importantly the appreciation of the bread she'd made.

By the time the young Slytherin asked if she'd made the banana bread, the woman was all grins. "I sure did, dear! Made them all myself! Been up for hours but it's worth it seeing how many of you are enjoying it!!" The entire lake probably smelled like bread, the scent wafting about and settling like a near thick but invisible fog of flavour and yummy baked goodness. Safe to say it was hard to escape the aroma but who would waaannnttt to???

As for those who wouldn't take some...

Poppy levitated the bread over to those who were empty handed. "There's no need to let it go to waste! Come, come, you must be starving!!" And she was here to feed the lot.

"And while you all settle down with some bread, I'd like to begin." She took her spot on one of the chairs, joining the circle."[/b] Last year couldn't have been easy on any of you. I imagine there's a lot you have questions about, things you wish you had answers for and things you wish you could forget. I want you all to feel heard in this open forum. I want each of you to start off with an "I feel" sentence. Here, let me start. I feel sad when I think about the last year. It was a tragedy all the way around and hurt a lot of people."[/b]

Something smelled really good. Mal had been by the edge of the lake, throwing sticks into the water in an attempt to draw out the giant squid (it wasn't working but she thought she'd seen a ghostly hand and that was pretty cool) when the scent of fresh bread hit her like a bag full of galleons. Her stomach was rumbling and before Mal could double think on it her feet had led the way to a group of kids and Healer Ginger-Pop.

She nodded to no one in particular as she walked right across the assembly to the table of bread, bread, bread and more bread. "Hey, is there any butter? Nutella? Honey? I'd die for some honey." Mal directed her question @ Healer Ginger-Pop, she was clearly in charge here, which meant she was on snack duty. "Any tea?" she could go for a cuppa.

Phoebe wasn't going to talk. Her dad spent all summer trying to get her to emote, her mum was hovering hovering hovering, and if none of them could get her to spill her feelings and give up the ball of anger burning in her stomach all the time, then what made anyone think this red-haired flower lady was going to be even more successful?

But she plopped down into the seat beside Cece, near Teddy and Kizzy, and blew them all tired kisses. She wasn't interested in the bread, not because she didn't trust it, but because her enormous appetite had died over the summer. She was just never really hungry anymore. "Hi, fam. If this isn't the kind of therapy where we hit things, I"m not into it. Will one of you wake me up when we're done?"

Ugh, it had begun. Phoebe squished down in her chair and flipped up her collar. She was noping out of this.

This WAS patronizing, as Ash had anticipated. She didn't like this lady, she didn't want the food, and she cared little about the weather. To prevent her temperature from rising, she looked at Claudine on her one side and Teddy on the other. They were calming. They knew what they were doing. So instead of being really angry and having a meltdown in front of the whole school, Ash opted for being passive aggressive. "I feel angry, all the time." There was an aggressively implied 'and you don't help anything' somewhere in this sentence. Who was SHE, HeaLEr PoPpY, to tell Ash what to do? Patronizingly? Traumatically? ASH. DID. NOT. LIKE. IT.

And she was NOT EATING THE FOOD. "I'm full, thanks." A forceful statement, clearly signally that she was not under any circumstances going to eat the food. NO. THANK. YOU.

Although she was suspicious and didn't trust anything, actually Pax didn't mind that they were doing this group therapy business. Not for herself since she clearly didn't need it, but because it would probably at least be somewhat entertaining. No bread for her though, thank you. She had read up on the history of baked goods at Hogwarts and had no interest in being turned into an animal or secretly doused with cheering potions that also apparently made boys gassy. She had no reasons to trust that healer Poppy or any adult has her best interests at heart. Even the cloying smell of it was more suspicious than appealing, and Pax casually tugged her scarf around the lower half of her face. The sun was out but her scarf didn't add an uncomfortable heat, just made her feel a little better about all that wafting.

She had found a spot and waited... not for long as it turned out. 'I feel' statements? Pax had none of those to share, and even if she had, she wouldn't go first. It was nobody's business.

Sitting in the outermost circle of seats, Max looked up when a piece of banana bread levitated over to him. He did not take any when he arrived because he was not hungry, but he supposed he could have a freshly baked snack. It smelled nice. He took a bite of the bread and leaned back in his chair as the therapy session began.

Since he was not at Hogwarts the previous year, he was not as traumatised as those who were held hostage in here by the bad guys. He was relatively safe at home, protected by his Ma and primary school teachers. So he did not need therapy, and he'd rather return to his dorm and finish the book he was reading than share his feelings with dozens of sad older kids. "I feel sad when I think about the last year too," he said quickly, repeating Healer Poppy's sentence. There, he was done.

No, thanks to the bread. It could be poisonous. Or worse, it could give her stomach issues. And no, these trust issues did not originate because of the war.

The nurse being a little TOO persistent about the bread made Serena drift away from it even more.

LOLOL. This lady wanted a feelings talk? HAH. Only her therapist was allowed to know about her feelings. AS IF sheeee would share with lots of strangers.

Serena sat back in her seat and folded her arms over her chest and her leg over the other. She had nothing to say about the war or anything about last year. Honestly, she had it pretty great. She had spent her time at home with her family, and because things were dangerous in the outside world, she didn't have to visit grandparents or relatives. She got to witness the birth of her baby goat and watch him grow.

...There was that one time when she thought uncle Walker would get hurt, and her mum and dad went out to fight and....

No. But she'll gladly break the ice.

"I feel," the little redhead started, "happy I got my first wand." The instructions were to start an "I feel" sentence but it wasn't specific about what. So there. Can she leave now?

He was merely watching all of his peers as they filed in to find seats. He didn't even bother giving hellos or anything, as his mouth was now occupied anyways taking small bites of his melon bread. He was savoring every bite. It was nearly as good as his grandmother's home made Sorry Nurse Poppy but it was still pretty decent. He had just finished his first and was working on his second when Lisa happened.

Evan side eyed her as she sat down, he could hear in her voice he was about to get the cruppy look so he squeezed his eyes shut. He knew before she even spoke what she wanted, and somehow it seemed Maya and Lisa always knew how to get exactly what they wanted out of him. But this was HIS bread. "Lisa, I'm your only Ravenclaw brother." Noah was a Gryffindor, in case she had already forgotten. An offer of a TRADE did get him to peak one eye open at her though and eye the banana bread. It DID look good... and maybe he could just get some more melon bread later...

So with a sigh, he broke it in half and handed it over. "You're lucky I'm so nice to you." LUCKY. Although, he was still a bit of a poop and handed her the half he'd already taken a bite of. Before taking another bite of the other half he now held.

HA.

But then the meeting thing was starting, and Nurse Poppy was speaking. He eyed her, as she stated she wanted them all to feel heard in this open forum. But.. that's exactly what he didn't want. Evan had nothing against therapy. What he did have something against, was public therapy. Sure, they had gone through similar circumstances but not ALL of them. It had been different for everyone, and what about the first years who hadn't even been here? Frankly, he wasn't sure how much Lisa knew of last term and he'd like to keep her in the dark if possible. He didn't want her sad like the rest of them. So while he didn't normally choose to speak up, or be snarky to anyone but cousin Chin-hae, he did this time. "I feel this is not an appropriate way to force us to deal with our emotions."

Because that's what was happening. Forced healing. It was right there with the word mandatory.

None of this would stop him from helping himself to more melon bread as it came around though. Grabbing two more rolls for himself and one for Lisa. Like she said, couldn't go to waste.

She was trying her hardest with this cruppy eyes but she forgot that she was dealing with EVAN and not Noah. Her eldest brother would have fell for it all but Evan was wiser... He had shut his eyes and dared not look at her as if she were Medusa from Greek Mythology. "Evan... you know i don't have snakes that will petrify you if you look at me you know..." she mumbled as she pouted at him. And she knew that he was going to say that he was her only Ravenclaw brother. "But.. but... that's beside the point. We're both correct in this instance... yes?" BIG CRUPPY EYES NOW. Maybe she ought to just throw in the water works while she's at it?

And then a miracle happened! He gave her the bread!! She pouted when she saw there was a bite mark but smiled gratefully (but a small smile because she didn't want to show him just HOW delighted she was that her ploy had worked!! AHA!) at her older brother. Lisa couldn't say too much else as the mandatory session was starting. "You're the best."

People were sharing feelings. Lisa's eyes widened as she looked around at the older students thoroughly confused by everything. Why.. Why did they have to mandatory therapy? She assumed that it had to do with either something happening in the Forbidden Forest (which she wondered why it was called forbidden- she had several theories but that was beside the point) or something bad outside of school. But then again... she did have a sinking feeling all summer that something had happened to her siblings because they all seemed a little dull. Less shiny and sparkly... But... Lisa had never known how to say it and thus she tried to be more outgoing to cheer them up. It had worked... mostly.... But now sitting here... Things started to feel a little uncomfortable and... sad. She began munching on the melon bread to ignore that sinking feeling within her.

She wasn't going to share her feelings. Not yet. The bread was good and she was just here for the food. Munch. Munch. Nothing to see here just a girl munching on her feels.

And she would have maintained that resolve until she heard Serena said that she was happy about her wand. "You do have a really cool wand, Serena," she said with a small smile on her lips. Lisa was happy too. Last year had been good. She had discovered that she had had magic and it was great... Oh.. She probably should have used an 'I feel' statement. Oh yeah...

"I feel... distant, hungry, and helpless..." She looked down at the bread and then took another bite before quietly adding. "I couldn't cheer up my siblings... but I feel hunger... mostly.." She still wasn't quite sure what had transpired here but... she felt bad..

Bread? Yeah, no thanks. She wasn't touching eating OR drinking anything that she had to offer. She was unsure to trust anyone at this point. There were a select few she could trust, but others? It was quite understandable with how she felt. Now she had to join group therapy sessions to try and "cure her trauma?" or "talk about heir feelings?" This was definitely something that she instantly regretted, but what harm can come from this. As Healer Poppy continued to speak, Aibhi crosses her arms in front of her and lets out a heavy sigh. Rolling her eyes listening to those expressing their feelings, she can't help but scoff. I feel this...I feel that... "Merlin, what a load of..." she muttered under her breath, she she stopped her own thinking and speaking before it got any more harsh and blunt at the moment.

Clearly, she wasn't the only one as well who didn't seem to fond of her "bread." so that was a good sign at least. She didn't feel completely isolated about her feelings, but to share them at this moment in time? She was not going to say a word. No matter how much it made her want to say something. But that something...would not be pleasant. She just let her eyes glance around the circle but also keeping her eye on Healer Poppy...Just. In. Case...


.

Her initial thoughts had been to attend this group session and not say a word during it. That had been the plan. Sit here and try to drown it all out until they were able to leave. And her plan had worked for all of about.. three minutes? Give or take a minute or so.

Dahlia nibbled a tiny piece of strawberry bread that she had tore off of a large piece. After only a nibble or two the remainder of it was slipped into her pocket where Sir Frederik just so happened to be resting. Surely he would be more than pleased to enjoy this little snack.

Blink. Blink.

So this was how it was going to be. Healer Poppy was starting off strong. They were expected to start off with an 'I feel' statement. Interesting. She could play this a few ways. Not answer at all like the plan had been all along. Give a simple answer such as 'I feel tired' which wasn't a lie and leave it at that or.. well no there was no or because she wasn't about to tell everyone how she was really feeling.

When it was her turn, Lia had meant to say 'I feel tired'. She had gone over it in her head but when she opened her mouth to speak the wrong words came tumbling out. "I feel a lot of things but mostly annoyed right now. I feel like this isn't fair and we shouldn't be forced to sit here if we don't want to, especially in a group as large as this one. I feel uncomfortable and small and quite honestly I really hate it and I'd like to leave now..." Lia slumped down in the chair making herself as small as she could, pulling her feet up onto the chair and hugging her knees, blue eyes staring down at her lap. Great. Just great. Now she wanted to cry...

This was exactly what she DIDN'T want to happen.

Gemma had been there, she had been sitting and nibbling on some bread. She had sat on the opposite side of the circle than her aunt and she was avoid any eye contact with the healer and her aunt, especially her aunt. She hadn't went to any therapy over the summer, she refused, and she wasn't okay with it now. She was fine, everything was fine, why couldn't they just have lessons, have normal, she just wanted normal, but was normal even going to be a thing anymore.

When the I feel sentence started she didn't want to answer any of it. As a fourth year she had talked to her mother about spirits and things, she had known what books had said, but she looked around the grounds. "Why isn't there more ghost now that a war happened right here? I mean you would think we would be seeing more around." Not that she was looking or hoping or anything, she just was asking to maybe get them off topic of people sharing their feelings, because no one wanted to do that at least it didn't look like they did.

The group therapy session was made mandatory, and so Noah was present. However, he felt he had no obligation whatsoever to participate in it because it only required his attendance. The Gryffindor was not, in any way, feeling gracious at the moment and so his participation was only limited to his presence. At best, he was there to observe and not dwell on his own feelings like everybody else. Besides, he didn't feel any emotion at the moment. Noah might as well be dead inside.

The bread that had been hovering in front of him did not go unnoticed, too. If his glam-mother Sofia were in his shoes, she'd 100% throw sass at the woman-- preparing food for the guests was the standard for any social gathering, but forcing them to eat was highly unacceptable, unethical, and definitely unworldly. Also, Noah thought that forcing bread down their throats was very sus.

Said pastry was flicked away from his face with a finger and crossed his arms in defiance, closing himself off of all the nonsense.

I feel statements?

Well this was boring. He hadn't come here to listen to what everyone was feeling about last year's situation. He wanted information, to know what exactly had happened not have them talk about how they felt.

But seeing as the therapy session had only just begun, Daniel waited a bit longer. If it became clear that no one was going to talk about it he was going to leave. He had not gone through the event last year anyway. "I feel annoyed that my brother doesn't talk to me about it and is pretending that everything is fine!" he answered, rolling his eyes before tearing off another piece of strawberry bread and ate from it. "He keeps having nightmares and i" 'want to know what they are about' "am concerned" just curious actually.

Crossing her long legs and arranging her skirt, Florrie kept an eye on the other students coming and finding seats. And finding bread. Did they not eat enough at mealtimes, or something? Or were the staff planning on starting rationing soon, and therefore filling them up now?

She glanced at the little kid (Atlas) when he joined her, but he didn’t keep her attention for long. She did smile back, but her scowl had returned after only a second that he may have missed it entirely. When Professor Kazmi sat near and asked if she wasn’t hungry, Florrie only shook her head, silently annoyed that he thought it acceptable to group her and the little kid together.

Teachers.

And great! Just great! Another younger kid had decided to sit with her. It was just her luck that she would be sandwiched between two people who were neither hot nor interesting to her, during an activity that was also not interesting to her. At least, though, she knew the girl's name. “Hi Mamie,” she managed, a warmer smile than she’d offered her other companion crossing her face. Being nice to the younger girls in her house wasn’t something she liked doing, but she knew it was important. A girl like Florrie needed to be liked by them. Or at least admired. She just did.

When Charlie sat near them, Florrie offered the fellow fifth year a smile that was both understanding and said, this sucks, doesn’t it?. She felt the other girls huff deep in her stomach, she really did.

Overhearing that the Healer thought the weather could be better almost had her huffing herself, but she did manage to hold it in, crossing her arms over her chest and drumming the fingers of one hand on her opposite arm. The weather would be better a whole three thousand five hundred miles away, on a mountain where she could snowboard. Or on a beach where she could sunbathe. She didn’t really care.

As for the levitating bread?! Now that almost pushed Florrie over the edge - close enough that she pulled a face of disgust and batted it away with the back of her hand. SO not okay, lady.

“I feel like this should absolutely not be mandatory,” she answered under her breath.

Oh gosh. I feel statements. Kale Trent had never been a big user of the word no (especially when yes could be such a fun and chaotic word), but after a summer of therapy he had learned that sometimes no could and should be a full sentence. And this mandatory therapy sesh was a big no.

It wasn't right to force kids to talk. So many of them had faced really scary stuff, and being vulnerable in a group setting just wasn't something everyone was capable of or comfortable with. B E S I D E S, treating it like a group exercise meant that addressing kids' trauma wasn't personal.

And that dumb lil voice, the one that had guided him last term when he saw things happening to his peers that he didn't like, spoke out loud, "I feel like its too late for the adults at this school to pretend they care about our health and well-being."

"Hi Quinn," Margaret said with a smile when the second year sat next to her. She was in a nice little sandwich of friendship here, wasn't she. Not that...well, she couldn't read minds, but she thought Florrie and Quinn and was that Atlas over there, they were all her friends.

She continued munching on the bread while people sat down and then Healer Poppy was explaining the activity. She thought about it for a minute, nibbling the strawberry bread while she tried to decide what she felt. She had felt hungry, but that was going away now she was eating. She raised her eyebrows at Evan Nam and everybody else who weren't cooperating with the activity. Was it really that hard to just participate or stay quiet? She didn't think so.

"I feel confused," she said finally. It wasn't really related to the last year, but...well, it was true. She was always confused.

Kinz was proud of her foresight in having taken so much of the banana bread. It smelled so good, her whole mouth was watering just thinking about eating it. Then when she did eat it, it only got better. So yum. She didn't even feel ashamed in the slightest when Claudine commented on how much she had taken. "I know. But there's still lots left," she replied, seemingly unbothered. It's not like she was hogging it. Kiz had made sure there'd be enough for everyone before grabbing as much as she could fit onto her plate. Well, it was hard to know exactly, but she eyeballed it. Her eyes were usually reliable. Kinsay had good vision!

She also had the good sense not to comment on the whole boyfriend thing when Emm arrived. Healer Poppy would probably choose the worst kind. Besides, Kinz was pretty confident in her own matchmaking abilities and she had plans. Important plans. Plans that she hoped all parties involved would like. But that was for a different day. Today was for group therapy, which was a very terrible, no-good plan if you asked one Kinsay James. And the entire Hogwarts population, it seemed. Most of whom, were slowly trickling in. Cece received a little finger-wiggle in greeting as did Phoebe. "I'll wake you up." And if they both fell asleep, then the responsibility would go to Teddy by default.

Maybe group therapy wasn't so bad afterall. This was just like a huge hangout with all her friends. Everything was fine!

...... Until the "I feel" statements.

It wasn't so much the need to state her own that made her whole tummy twist uncomfortably. It was hearing everyone else's statements that did that, especially the ones fueled by negative emotions. Those were the ones that were the hardest to hear, mostly because they were things she felt too. So when it came to Kinsay's turn, she held up two slices of the delicious banana bread. "I feel full of bread!" She made a big show of stuffing one of the slices into her mouth all at once. It wasn't very polite, but desperate times call for desperate measures and this was the best bit of silliness she could think of. Silly distractions were the best kind.

Did she look like a chipmunk? Because that was the goal.

Why were they here?

When she had gotten to this "mandatory" therapy session, she had immediately grabbed a nice fluffy bread. If this was their way of bribing them to talk, Juliette could tell them right now that they were wasting their time. She had successfully spent the entire summer avoiding questions about how she had felt after the events that transpired last term. Juliette wasn't going to break that record now.

She had taken a seat in the outermost ring, listening to this "Healer". Until she saw some credentials, she was pretty sure this healer was a fraud.

Juliette found herself smirking as "Healer" Poppy was met with some resistance with the I feel statements. As she listened, she ripped up the bread into tiny little pieces, making a pile on her lap, glancing up every so often to feign interest. Once she had successfully ripped the bread up, she tossed some of the bits behind her - if there were any passing birds, they were in for a feast. The remaining bits? Well, they were in case she got extra bored and felt like tossing them into other people's hair.

She needed some way to pass the time since she did not feel inclined to participate.

All right, that settled it. Violet was not going to take a single bite of this crumpet, not even if they tortured her with the Cruciatus curse. She sat with her napkin holding the untouched crumpet in her lap and looked stolidly forward.

Really? This was what they came up with to deal with everything that had happened.? Why wasn't someone making explanations or apologies to the students?!? For the abysmal way the adults had failed them last year.

They wanted to know how Violet felt about that? Fine, if her letter to the editor over the summer hadn't been clear enough, she would tell them. "I feel as if I can't trust anyone in authority any more," she said firmly, looking Healer Poppy straight in the eye.

Atlas was still trying to gauge Healer Poopy Poppy when the new Flying professor came on over and for a couple of seconds the Gryffindor found himself a bit tongue tied. He probably could have afforded a couple more seconds of silence, to be honest.

"Dad warned against Trojans bearing gifts," he replied with a shrug just as his stomach gave a bit of a rumble. So was he hungry? Yes, a bit. He really like twist bread and untwisting it before eating it. Like peeling string cheese...only bread.

Speaking of bread, that kind older Hufflepuff girl was eating bread and he had half a mind to WHACK it right out of her hands. But he also did not want to draw attention to himself. Especially with Professor Kazmi standing RIGHT there. He also had no idea how this new lady would react to things - dad had ALSO warned against red headed ladies too - and Atlas just could not risk another term of mortification.


Speaking of...well...just speaking of...the second year's eyes fell on Quinn and panic struck again. Not because of the Alley or his mum or the fact that Atlas had broken his fingers trying to be inconspicuous, but because of the banana bread. DON'T EAT THAT, he mouthed somewhat dramatically at the Ravenclaw. And then he pointed at the banana bread...and than at his own mouth...and then made an X with his index fingers over it. He didn't have time to explain...but he could after. Maybe. Hopefully??

And then suddenly there was some bread being levitated right in his face...and he could not deny that the smell was divine. Even if it wasn't the twisted bread he favored. But no...he was not going to EAT any of it but in order to keep up with appearances he would take it. And then he would take it RIGHT to the Potions Mistress was some magical forensics!

And then group therapy began...and his insides were twisting all over again. This feeling of mandatory speaking was a tough spot to be in and it reminded him entirely too much of Rosier's 'answer or die' and then everything tumbled out from that.

Other voices felt like he was listening underwater...or with cotton in his ears...or like he was just somewhere else and not in his own little growing blonde body. The nice pretty older Hufflepuff girl who had smiled at him said basically what he was thinking. At least an abridged version of it. When Healer Poppy's eyes fell on him, Atlas tensed and his palms began to sweat a bit - which was partially absorbed by the bread still in his hand - and his mouth hung open a bit.

And then sound was coming out of it.

"...I feel like I don't want to trust you," he replied curtly at the woman.

...um...

How in Hoth did anyone think this was a good idea?! Heath didn’t even like talking about his feelings to the therapist his mum made him visit. The thought of having to do it in front of the whole school had his stomach in knots. The only way he would allow himself to show vulnerability in front of an audience was while acting. No one could judge his emotions or use them against him if they were hidden under the guise of a character!

If making this little meeting mandatory wasn’t bad enough, why did it have to be so early in the term? Couldn’t they have some time to get to know Healer Poppy before diving into this? Come to think of it, he didn’t know the professors here either! The only one he remembered from last term was Peralta, and even so, he didn’t feel he had an accurate feel for her personality yet. He didn’t know how much of her actions had been an effort to placate Rosier vs. how much had been her true self. Merlin, this was bound to be a disaster… unfamiliar healer, unfamiliar professors, unfamiliar everything!

The only reason Heath was here at all was because he hadn’t the energy left to deal with points loss, detention, or whatever else the consequences for skipping this MaNDaTOrY mEEtiNG might be. But here he was, seated near Claudine and Ash because he needed to be with people he trusted if he was going to get through this. The bread was completely ignored until the healer levitated it toward him, so he took a piece of cinnamon bread just so she’d shut up about it. Whether or not he’d eat it remained to be seen. It did smell delicious, but he was too nervous to eat anything now!

He blinked, unsure what to make of the “I feel” sentences. What did he feel? Too much, honestly. He felt guilty about the lengths he went in efforts to win over Rosier last term. He felt afraid of what he might’ve become if he didn’t see Rosier for what he was when he did. He felt resentful that he was the one to suffer for his mother’s choice to marry a muggle. He felt angry that Rosier and some of his followers would never have to suffer as he had. Mostly, he felt conflicted about returning to Hogwarts, studying magic, all of this. But he would rather be tossed into a sarlacc pit than say any of that out loud. So he stuck with an emotion he didn’t care if they knew. “I feel uncomfortable talking about my feelings in front of so many people.”