Was it just him or did this week seem particularly long? Maddox walked into the staff room, rolling his shoulders in a vain effort to dispel some of the tension but Merlin, he needed a nap, a massage, his wife and a vacation. Just over a month left til Christmas, yeah?

The Charms Professor pulled himself into the room, the pack of cards safely in his pocket for the moment. Had he actually gotten here before Airey? It would't surprise him, poor bloke was all the way up on the 7th floor--the tower even. It was almost a certainty that Maddox would do no such walking. Not at all.

The man pulled up a chair by the end of the table, feet kicked up, arms locked behind his head and this was how he would wait. Pay no attention to the fact he was falling into a nap, it had been a LONG day and he was doing his colleague the courtesy of staying a man this time.

It had taken him a bit to locate his Exploding Snap cards yet again, but he had only really brought those along as part of the tradition that was game night. What he REALLY wanted to play was this one game he had picked up at a muggle hobby shop over the summer. Word game of sorts that came with a handy dandy little contraption he had needed to fiddle with using some charms to make sure it would work in Hogwarts.

Stepping triumphantly into the staff room by means of using his bum to hold open the door because his arms were occupied by entertainment and snacks, he paused in the doorway when he spotted Maddox half asleep.

Or maybe he was already asleep?

"Look alive, Maddox," Airey barked, his lips curving upwards into an amused smirk as he shut the door behind him and strolled over to the table.

This position was even more comfy than he could have first imagined, but that might have been the exhaustion talking...in fact it probably was. Didn't matter. For as long as Airey wasn't here he could find himself floating on a cushy cloud somewhere far off, so peaceful.

zzzZZZzzzzZZZZ--

O_O

Holy son of Merlin's mother. The sudden LOUD appearance of his friend had the man jump slightly, twisting this way and that in his seat. It was an incoherent phrase later that might have been the man swearing which saw him falling back with his chair. Luckily he'd gone into the form of a cat before getting a chance to hit his back on the floor because THAT would have him up for hours.

Maddox rounded on Airey, hissing and spitting as only a truly irritated feline could before catching himself and stretching back into a man. "Circe Airey." Entering with all the noises ever. "Don't you want to be alive by the night's over?" If not, they could very well arrange something.

Noisy bugger that he was.

Pleased with himself, the astronomer hummed as he set his goods down on the table and then swung his head around to smirk at the Charms professor. "Airey is my first name, actually," he teased while pushing the muggle game towards the center of the table and setting the deck of Exploding Snap down on top of it. "Not Circe. Just in case you had me confused with a goddess of magic from mythology."

Ho ho hooooooooooo. Good one, Flamsteed.

"Hmm...now is it wise to threaten a fellow who brought a bushel of apples for you or is it not..." he speculated, tapping his chin with his index finger while the other hand patted his shoulder bag. "Besides, killing me would mean you would have to take over as Head of House and all the responsibilities associated with that."

"Har har." Real funny bloke he was. Not.

Maddox finally re-took his seat, watching what Airey had brought to the table, literally. An extra pack of exploding snap cards might do them some good in truth. "I have no such illusions. You're closer to a troll." In every and all senses of the word. Did he know? They both were when you got down to it but right now this was all on Airey.

Bushel of apples....?

Just like that his annoyance was gone. Without waiting for permission, he accio-ed the bag from the man's shoulder, fully capable of helping himsel--"Whoa, easy mate. You had me at apples, don't ruin it." Being in charge of Gryffindor, suddenly having to CARE about their house matters on a more involved level? NO THANKS. What he did now was enough effort.

"What is that thing?" And a nudge toward the muggle game in the centre. Leave it to the man to have something muggle in his possession. It was unhealthy, truly. Oh.

"By the way....how are you and Dakest going?" You know after the whole replacing his woman and alleged murder? Juuuust curious.

A troll? Airey snorted and flopped with a manly grace into one of the empty chairs. "If you say so," he winked while summoning his mug from the cabinet.

"Who said I was ruining anything?" he mused, drumming his fingers against the side of his cup and contemplating what his brew of the evening would be. "I was simply pointing out some flaws with your logic." Leaning back in his chair, cheeking grin on his face, Airey wiggled his shoulders. "Just embracing that troll illusion of yours."

Heh. Talk about a throwback to old muggle lingo.

"I'm glad you asked," he chirped, sitting up in his chair and pushing his mug out of the way. "It's a muggle game I found. Bunch of word play by the looks of it. You squint at the word the shows up there in that little viewer there...and you describe it to the other person to see if they can guess it." Simple and easy and stellar brain exercise. "Here. I'll show you," he continued, picking the device up and poking at the button on the side. "Oh...um..." he said squinting at the word. "Okay...OH! It's Gryffindor's mascot."

Talk about luck.

"Sabel? Going fine. Not bosom buddies or anything yet, so you have nothing to worry about," the astronomer mused as he reached for his mug to take a drink of his...oh right. There was nothing in there. "Making some arrangements with him about future lessons, actually. Going to see if the Candy Cauldron wants in too." Standing up, he walked over and filled his mug with coffee, black and no additional sugar. "I've been thinking though...he could use a bit of an initiation."

Surely Maddox would catch his drift, yes?

Embracing the illusion was right, though it was no illusion at all. Airey Flamsteed was a troll, to be taken in any sense of the word desired but it was true. "My logic was fine til you brought students into this." He had enough of them during classes and the occasional office visit.

Squinting sounded like a lot of effort though. Wasn't the man thinking? "Make the words bigger." That was what magic was there for. It kinda made everything completely and without a doubt better than going without. not that he was dependent or anything. No....that...was hardly accurate except that it was. The game sounded easy enough so he supposed he could go with it.

"It's a lion." Maddox reached over and grabbed it, deciding it was his turn now while Airey went and got coffee--oohhh. The Charms Professor drew his wand and levitated his own cup toward Airey with one of those 'you know you want to' looks. "Just milk, you don't need to brew me coffee." Ahem. Please? In the mean time, he pulled up another word. "Umm..." How best to describe this. "It's...me." Yeah, that worked and would have to keep working because Airey was speaking music to his ears.

"Now Airey, if we're trying to make peace with the guy and you're holding a class with him and," snort, Candy Cauldron, "Culloden, it would be vastly counterproductive to pull anything on him. I'm appalled you even suggested such a thing. We are mature men, we're bigger than this." That being said...."How we playing this? His office? His person?"

Clearly mature adults.

Fine until X meant that said logic had been flawed. Airey was pleased they had cleared up that little disagreement. Pleasure doing business with you, Maddox.

Before Airey could counter with reminding Maddox that he was a wizard too, a thought crossed his mind instead. "Didn't know your eyesight was that bad," he mused. "Aren't those feline monstrosities supposed to be able to see in the dark and all that?" His wand out, Airey pointed it at the Charms professor rather than the game piece. "Oculus Focalis." There, no his eyesight should be astronomically better. Just be best for them to remove the charm after an hour or so or else risk the man a migraine.

He allowed Maddox to grab it without much fuss - see? The astronomer knew that his colleague would give into his Gryffindor curiosity - and eyed the cup. Rolling his eyes, he plucked it from the air and filled it with milk before attending to his own coffee. Turning with both cups in hand, he moved to put the one with milk on the floor only to stop midway with an amused smirk. Nah, he wouldn't ruffled Maddox's fur that much. Especially not when he had agreed to a bit of word play.

"You?" he repeated, setting both cups down on the table and sliding back into his own seat. That was awfully vague. "Numpty?" Heh. "OH NO WAIT! Liar?"

And speaking of lies...

Airey scoffed and leaned back in his chair. Mature men? Better than this? Please, save those lies for someone that may actually believe you, Maddox. Perhaps a first year that didn't know any better? Or the ever naive and easily flustered LeoBALD. But then Maddox put down his front and they were talking business.

"Well, you see...I reckon his office is full of all sorts of protective spells and whatnot," he said in a low whisper over the rim of his cup of coffee. Especially if Dakest was anything like Medea in that sense...or himself. Thieves everywhere in this castle stealing things. Things like his Carolina blue silk tie. "So we'll need to strike somewhere else. Somewhere familiar enough to him that he will feel confident walking around unassuming, but open enough for us to do whatever it is we need to." He took a long sip from his cup and set it down on the table. "Figure we might be able to get some students in on this took. Couple of innocent looking ones. Have this one who I swear worships the ground I walk on. I'm sure we could use him somehow."

Using a student as a distraction, perhaps? Get them to stop the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor in a corridor or somewhere to ask a question and then BAM!

Brilliance.

Feline monstrosities?

Snort.

"You're too kind, Airey. My eyes do have many uses but that doesn't mean I'm willing to utili--" Maddox shot forward in his seat the moment he felt a strange sensation at his eyes. He rubbed fiercely at them for a moment, hardly sure he liked it at all. It was the sudden cast that got him, really. "Circe, warn a guy next time." This was not comfortable, this was not staying.

The man reached for his wand, effectively ending the spell before rubbing at his eyes a few more times for good measure. "I can see just fine, I meant making them bigger for you." Because apparently THAT hadn't been clear enough the first time.

With his eyes safe once more, he reached for the cup of milk, taking a sip to hide the amused smirk. A liar? "I must say I'm offended and in the same breath, you're wrong. I'll give you another hint, think black and possibly the cuddliest thing you'll ever be terrified of." Surely he would get it by now because Maddox was now too busy listening to what could ultimately be the highlight of next week...or somewhere down the line.

The more he heard was the wider his cheshire grin spread. "It's brilliant enough to work. Who's the kid? How many will we need?" Recruiting wasn't hard. Maddox had found that the right story could get just about any student on your side.

Shrugging his shoulders with a forced innocence about them, Airey threw his friend a cheeky grin while he pocketed his wand. "Don't be such a black hole, Maddox." He, the astronomer, did not need anything bigger to be able to see, thank you very much!

Eyes narrowing over the top of cup of coffee, Airey found himself more disappointed at the simplicity of the word choice in this game. First lion then...cat? Although he had yet to have confirmation that that was indeed the answer, but it seemed safe to assume as much. Had he inserted the creature themed card into the device or something? He should have paid more attention to such matters before he left the office, clearly.

"A........................................cat," he muttered, taking another long sip from his coffee while aggressively reaching forward for the playing device to make THAT word go away. Giving it a firm tap several times, the astronomer put it down on the table when Maddox moved the conversation back to business.

Alright. Game play officially paused for now. Maybe next time. This was a bit more exhilarating.

"A Mr. Aegis Dane. Gryffindor," he replied, an eager glimmer growing in his blue eyes. Surely Maddox remembered this one, bit of an oddball but an eager one. "Be best if we kept it small, don't you think? Sabel may be green, but he isn't naive." But what should they hit him with? Airey honestly didn't know the fellow all that well yet, so he was not entirely sure what sort of thing would be best to push his buttons. Nothing terribly malicious, naturally, but it needed to be GOOD. Maybe he ought to look at that unfinished list of pranks he had planned for Medea...hmmm...

A blackhole? Seriously? Of all the comparisons. Maddox wouldn't even pretend to understand that one, he would simply sip at his milk while his eyes readjusted. Let's promise never to do that again. His eyes were good enough on their own and he didn't like the thought of magic messing with them further than it already did.

Hints of a smirk played across his expression once Airey practically croaked the word in question. "Don't look like that, mate, I'm awful cuddly if you give me the chance." Because one did not hold back on an opportunity to rattle Airey Flamsteed. He did, however, opt not to go full on cat to prove such cuddly characteristics he did not truly possess but only because it would have brought a premature end to the game night.

One that was shaping up to be more interesting than he would have imagined.

While he could skillfully ignore the fact they were speaking of Mister Dane (kid had issues, OKAY?) Maddox wouldn't deny the snort at Airey's assumption. "See, that's where you're wrong. He's still got too much of that Auror blood in him. Got him to believe you outed the former Defense Professor with that rock collection of yours, that I'm the Deputy Headmaster AND that we hired him to help take you down. Only real thing to do now is prove I'm not a liar."

Was he following with this? The man leaned forward in his seat, now also forgetting the little game they'd been meaning to play. "We get him alone in a corridor, have him stumble into you giving Mister Dane some innocent little threats that could be taken anyway. I show up, plant a few seeds then afterwards the three of us treat him like he's gone mad and we haven't a clue what he's on about. He'll come across as nothing short of raving mad."

Then again, they were all a little mad here...

Raising a brow at Maddox and slowly scooted his chair away from from his colleague. Once he had scooted more than was socially acceptable, he leaned away so that is body formed a long 'C' shape and pursed his lips as he STARED at the Charms professor. "I'm going to have to decline that invitation," he said, giving the man a quick look up and down.

Not as a man. Not as a feline. No thanks, mate.


Turning his seat just a tad back towards Maddox, Airey narrowed his eyes and made a bit duck faced look as he thought over the man's suggestion. So....Maddox was essentially asking him to play a part in a lie that he had been building since the start of term? Somehow, given how much time had passed, Airey was unsure that he believed that Sabel still believed the man to be Deputy. Not that he had seen Sabel spending much time with the elderly chap.

"So...I need to be watching my back in case of a sneak attack from an ex-Auror?" he said, squinting his eyes and leaning across the table a bit. "Sweet solstice you could have given me a bit of a heads up about this before NOW."

Leaning back a bit in his seat, Airey was not sure he was entirely on board with this idea. It lacked the pizzazz his pranks usually had, but if he let Maddox roll with his idea it WOULD guarantee that the Charms professor stayed interested. Well, hopefully would guarantee.

"Alright. We'll try it your way then, Maddox," he said with a sly salute - still keeping his distance just in case his friend suddenly felt the need cuddle with him.

Not even the professors' precious sanctuary was safe from the filth, apparently. Great, long cobwebs hung from the chairs, tables, and tea service. Hadn't Professor Botros spoken with the elves about this?

Dopey expression plastered across his face and the words 'I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK’ temporarily tattooed across his forehead in brilliant red thanks to some crafty spellwork in the letter he had just received, the Astronomy professor practically pirouetted his way into the staff room for a cup of coffee. His cheeks, a lush shade of red to match his ears, were soon brushed with hanging cobwebs that stuck to his face and hair, but the man hardly noticed as he made his way towards the cupboard to retrieve his mug.

Filling his cup, and failing to notice the webs that laced the bottom, Airey moved to take a long sip from it. What a term it had been with one thing after the other, but Medea's letter had been...well...illogically mushy, but just the sort of reinforcement he needed.

Smile growing on his flushed features, he took that long sip from his coffee and swallowed a mouthful of soggy cobwebs.

An indescribably and astronomically LOUD noise escaped the man's lips as he spewed the beverage from his mouth and dropped the mug to the floor - that had been charmed NOT to break, thankfully. Coffee everywhere, including drops searing his suit's trousers, the man began to claw at his tongue to get the webs that were still clinging to it and his teeth OFF.

"GUUUURROOOOOOFFF!"

Hearing a loud clunk and cry of.. well, a cry of something, Tiara rushed into the staff room to find Airey Flamsteed, soaked, and obviously having had some spell placed on his head.

What was she supposed to do with that?

"What's going on, man?!" she asked, concerned. And really, she would settle for an explanation as to the noise, the state of his robes, OR the state of his head.

Heading down to the staff room with a tray of newly baked cookies Leo hoped for some colleague company during his coffee break. On the stairs down he heard a loud noise of someone or something that seemed to be coming from within the staff room.

Quickening his steps Leo, shouldered open the door to the staff room, as he hurried inside and almost stumbled into Tiara before he could stop himself. Shooting Tiara an apologetic glance, he rightened himself and his tray and took in the scene before them of Airey coffee soaked and having something written on his forehead as well as the cobwebs.

The cobwebs were everywhere.

Still holding onto his cookie tray Leo asked confused. "Why are you covered in coffee stains Airey? And why do you have something written on your forehead? Did some student pull a bad prank on you?"

Perhaps Meredith Moxley had been a bloodhound in a past life because the woman's nostrils were exceptionally good at picking up scents, specifically that of baked goods. So yes, the brunette had been trailing the librarian as he made his way to the staff room, trying her hand at stealth and stifling giggles along the way. That noise? Well, she only knew of one staffer who could let out a yell like that.

"Nothing says love like a forehead tat, am I right, Leo?" Moxley grinned at those in the room and then casually nicked a cookie off the tray.

"Oh! Hot, hot!" But not so hot that she didn't notice the state of the staff room. "Elves on strike or something?" Oh and Airey, you might want to change clothes. Just because the school was a mess, didn't mean he should go around looking like one, too. Merlin.

Before Airey could answer, two more staff members appeared, likely also pulled towards the room by the sound of yelling. Tiara chuckled at Moxley's remark about tattoos in spite of herself; it was a bit mean, after all.

And once it had been pointed out, the Arithmancy professor had to acknowledge that the state of the room was indeed abominable. "Abraham has been down to the kitchens to discuss it with them, I know," she said. "I believe they are trying their best, but we must have a particularly bad infestation of spiders this year." The weather outside was likely partly to blame; it had been an abnormally cold and wet few months, which would drive any creature to seek the warmth of indoor shelter.

This made her desirous of something warm herself and searched the room for the typical tea service. Apparently the elves were too busy with the webs to keep up on the refreshments. She followed Meredith's lead, but was careful to first test the temperature before taking a cookie. "Mmm this hits the spot, Leobald. My thanks," she said, inclining her head.

Still clawing at his tongue to remove the cobwebs, Airey found himself in an embarrassing predicament when one of his colleagues came strolling in. At least it wasn't the Headmistress, because he ended up spitting web out accidentally in her general direction.

"Noofin" he sputtered, still flicking moist cobwebs off his tongue and lower lip. "...woman," he added as an after thought. See how ridiculous he sounded just there, among other things? Yeah. Informal language like that was awful.

Lesson taught.

Thoroughly annoyed already, Leobald did NOT help matters by his series of questions. Especially the last one. The thought of a doe eyed student pranking him in this matter was enough to make his skin crawl. "Medea, akuchuully," he said, some cobwebs now stuck between his teeth. As for the rest of the questions, they would remain unanswered for the time being as Meri-berry entered.

"Zat's whaa I tuld a thuudent," he chuckled despite himself. Well, to be entirely fair, he had said that the house elves were rebelling and serving them food made from missing pets.

All Maddox's fault. Somehow. His influence was infectious for all the right reasons. Namely the astronomer's amusement.

He eyed the tray of cookies suspiciously. Not sure he trusted them...given the nature of the joint lesson he had held not too long ago with Sabel and the Candy Cauldron. He would observe Meri-berry and Tiara to see what happened. Which, so far, just seemed to only indicate that they were especially hot.

Meanwhile...he combed through drawers and cupboards for some floss...or his stash of Toothflossing Stringmints.

Only moments after Leo had entered the staff room, Meredith followed. Eyes trailed over to Tiara as she revealed that Abraham had been down to the kitchens to talk to the house elves about the poor cleaning state of the castle. Shrugging his shoulders Leo agreed. "It certainly seems to be the case. I've cleaned away so much cobwebs around the library lately that it's starting to become a growing irritation."

Glancing sideways at Meredith he murmured amused. "You're right about that. It's clear that Medea loves Airey veeeeeeeeery much." Silently he hoped that Cassie wouldn't get any similar ideas. To focused on making sense of what else Airey was blubbering out, two of his cookies got nabbed by the ladies. Smiling and bowing towards them Leo said "You're welcome ladies. I baked them to be eaten." So he didn't mind the nabbing.

Going over to one of the tables he put the cookie tray down before he went to fetch his mug. Looking over at Aiery still sputtering out what looked like cobwebs he asked trying to hide a shudder. "Do you need some help getting the last cobwebs out?"

Meredith had taken a seat, content to nom her cookie and listen to Leo and Tiara talk about cobwebs and elves and meetings with Abraham. Cutest man alive, he was. Moxley just wanted to give the guy a squish but that was the Hufflepuff thing, she was sure. Born in a flower bed under a rainbow and delivered by benevolent storks riding unicorns, the lot of them. Besides, if she actually squeezed Abraham, the man might fall apart. He was on the old side, wasn't he? Gosh, old people were a WHOLE different kind of cute.

....Anyway.

"Definitely seems like he needs help, Leo!" Pause. "And m'not a fan of all this spider talk. Makes my skin crawl just thinking of those creepy crawlers. Hopefully Abraham's meeting went well and the elves will kick it into overdrive. We could always make the kiddos help with the cleaning for extra credit or something, couldn't we?"

Tongue sticking limply out of his mouth, the Astronomy professor folded his arms and huffed at Leobald and Meri-berry. Ha ha ha, you are both hilarious.

Not.

"Yuu oow, supaidurs aar an infourtant paarth ov eebry ekooshitem on aahth," he noted to his colleagues. He had read about them in one of his science fiction novels and their impact on life here on Earth. So he actually knew what he was talking about. Sort of. And besides, those creepy crawlies (to coin Meri-Berry's term) gave the world Spider-Man and THAT was epic.

He looked begrudgingly towards Leobald again, tongue sticking out a bit more in defeat. He hated to admit it...but he really did need some help.

"Puweeze," he said, averting his eyes and pointing at his tongue. He could not see that the web was not only stuck to his tongue, but also wedged between his top teeth. Probably could catch a fly in that moist web of his if he left his mouth hanging open long enough.

And then there was a lot of banging and booming going on somewhere else on the floor. Someone must be setting off fireworks or something. Was about that time of year. Or, well, any time of the year was good for fireworks as far as he was concerned. Just hopefully no one would blow up the Great Hall.

"Use the webs to find your way around they said. Just use the webs. It's easy," muttered one acromantula as it scurried about the corridors after having been separated from the rest of its herd. "EASY FOR SOME MAYBE!"

Scurrying along the wall now, it came across a close door. DOOR! There had been something about doors in their plan...probably should have been paying more attention instead of chomping away on rats in the Chamber.

Throwing itself against the door, the acromantula broke it down easily due to its size. Front legs flailing wildly at the sight of ADULT HUMAN FLESH, it screeched and tried to force its way forwards. Only there was one problem. Its abnormally large abdomen was stuck in the door frame.

Screeching and swiping its legs towards the nearest (and plumpest) human (TakemetotheBurrow), it clicked its pincers together hungrily while the black colour of its eyes seemed to turn a shade darker.

Moxley had heard the commotion, too, but was more invested in cookies and conversation right now. If anyone started screaming, she'd go investigate. Great educator right here, people. Now she was just going to help herself to another one of Leo's lovely co-

O______O

WHAT IN MERLIN'S BEARD?! NOPE! NOOOOPE! MOXLEY WAS NOT GOING TO BE ACROMANTULA FOOD TODAY!

"DISTRACTION!" She squeaked, while chucking her perfectly good cookie as hard as she could at the frightening eight legged creature blocking the exit. WHY DID THEY ALWAYS ZONE IN ON THE PRETTIEST PEOPLE IN THE ROOM?! No matter, she had a WAND and a WILL TO LIVE! "Stupefy!"

Moxley. HATED. Spiders.