Taking in Cuthbert's still smiling face, Fern's hands went from splayed to clawed, and her stomach twisted, not from the potion she had taken earlier, but from revulsion. He was always wearing some sort of grin, and it disgusted her.

Someday-

Fern jumped, startled by Professor Culloden suddenly on his feet and talking. She looked at him, then to Cuthbert as he - oh! Fern let out a little shriek when the Slytherin raised his hands like that, so mockingly. The professor was saying something, but Fern didn't hear him. Her eyes were on Cuthbert, and she took a step back when he stood up, "DON'T-" Wait! Where did he think he was going!? Did he think she wouldn't see!? Did he think she had FORGOTTEN!? She took several steps forward. "HEY!" She pointed at him. Fern was no longer crying, but her face was still wet from sweat, tears, snot, and potion. As for her hair, the majority had long since escaped it's ponytail. Tragically, without a strong light, her glittery hair clips were not glittery at all. "HEY! STOP RIGHT THERE! YOU CAN'T BACK OUT ON A TRIPLE-DOG-DARE!"

...his head started to throb.

The moment Cosgrach realised the girl wasn't even listening to him but bellowed to the boy instead, he snapped out of his panic into anger, and it was complete with her last statement.

"A dare?!" he turned to her in this threateningly low voice. "You are DARING each other with. This. Potion?!" His eyes went between the girl an the boy. His head was trying to explode, it seemed.

"Ten points from Slytherin and Hufflepuff." He GLARED. "You stay right there," he said to the boy, and addressed the girl.

"Why?" Why daring?

Why?

He had to UNDERSTAND before assigning detentions, so...

Why?

Cutty's little heart was racing, but not out of fear. It was eagerness. Eagerness to mold the situation like plasticine and get it under control. His control.

"Professor Culloden, you have to understand..." Cutty began in his calmest voice. "I never once uttered the word 'dare' to her. This little tottie took it upon herself to drink her own potion and there wasn't anything I could do to stop her." Cutty 'explained' the situation messed-upedly adding a twinge of forlorn to his tone as if he would've stopped her if he but had the power to do so.

"She was overcome by her feelings for me, clearly. Please, if you have a calming draught on hand you ought to let her have some, because well, this kind of isn't the first time she's flown into hysterics, Professor." Then he leaned in and placed a hand up near his mouth and not-very-quietly-at-all said, "It's kind of Quimbley's thing."

The scrawny little boy sighed as he considered all possible routes of escape for all the parties involved.

Fern heard Professor Culloden this time. She heard him, and she froze.

This wasn't the first time she had heard this tone of voice, although it was the first time she had heard it from the professor. "Fern. Do. Not. Ever. Walk behind a horse." "Fern. Do. Not. Ever. Try to get on from the right side." "Fern. Do. Not. Ever. Let me catch you without your helmet."

Fern knew what this meant. She lowered her arm and straightened her back. She looked Professor Culloden directly in the eyes. And though she didn't understand why they were in trouble, when he took ten points away from Hufflepuff, she didn't cry.

But she wanted to.

If Minnie found out - if the Head of Awesome found out - if Ella and Alec found out - if her family found out!

Fern's blinked her eyes furiously, and pressed her lips together in an attempt to stop their trembling. She opened her mouth to respond to the professor's answer, but before she could say anything, Cuthbert started speaking.

'This little tottie...' Fern's nostrils flared.

'...there wasn't anything I could do to stop her.' Her eyes widened.

'She was overcome by her feelings for me, clearly.' She curled her hands into fists.

'...isn't the first time she's flown into hysterics.' And grit her teeth.

'It's kind of Quimbley's thing.'

"He's lying!" Fern yelled, "He called me a sissy! It was to prove that I wasn't one! And, and! I do not LIKE him! I broke up with him!!"

"AND IT IS NOT MY THING!!!"

Cosgrach wanted to SNAP at the Slytherin boy--Mordaunt or whatever--for speaking out of turn, but he didn't. He deeply breathed to calm down, and his eyes burnt right through the boy's. He was FURIOUS, and he hoped the boy KNEW plain eloquency wouldn't get him out of trouble.

He pressed his lips together. He wanted to believe the boy--he sounded so... sound, but Cosgrach was more suspicious than ever. The boy--Mordaunt--made sense--especially for Quimbley girl to go hysterics, but he winced and had NO choice but listen to Fern if she kept yelling like that.

...

Merlin.

Merlinmerlinmerlin. He was caught up in a stupid 7-year-old love drama? MERLIN.

WHY. WHY HIM. WHY NOT SOMEONE ELSE BUT HIM.

He didn't hide his displeasure and rolled his eyes. CHILDREN. He was effectively reminded again why he HATED them and why he had been reluctant about this job.

"Okay, stop," he ordered even though they seemed to have finished their explanation. He glared at both of them.

"I don't think I've heard the full story yet," he said, then frowned even more deeply. Come to think about it, they had just told it in parts: that they dated or whatever, broke up now, she wasn't quite over him but he belittled her, he called her a sissy and she chose HIS potion to drink to show she wasn't.

MERLINMERLINMERLIN. Give him ONE FEEBLE reason not to assign them detention for--

Wait a minute! He had a much better idea!

"I don't care about your stupid love story, who loves which, who called which what. For three days, we will meet at the breakfast, I'll handcuff you to each other and you will have to learn to get along despite your past. Then, every evening, I expect you at 7 promptly at my office to discuss what you have learnt about respecting each other," he eyed them both, "and remove the handcuffs for the night. I don't even care who is right here. Failure to do so, it will be six days." Understood? "I won't care if one of you is a sissy and run away from breakfast or decline to report to me either. This is about respect and compromising, and it's your responsibility to make the other one comply."

Any questions? Did they want him to glare MORE?

Cutty had caught the look given him by Professor Culloden, but it did not register as rage should. It was more like a prompt to work harder or something. What did the salt 'n peppery Professor want most out of this? Peace? Control? How about quiet? And what was he willing to pay for that?

And then there was Quimbley herself. Was she stupid? Sure. Ridiculous, loud, silly? All in equal measure at times. But now Cutty could also add that she was that most distasteful of all things to him. Fern Quimbley was WEAK!!! SHE WAS WEAK! And not even her swiftly spitted game about being called a 'Sissy' could've spared her from this judgement.


"Yes, Professor Culloden." Cutty's response came straight-forward without argument or resistance. That would, he thought, be counter-productive at this moment.

Was this a nightmare? Fern found herself seriously considering the possibility that she was dreaming. The part where she had drunk the potion - that could be because she had ate something bad at the feast, and the terrible stomach pain she had felt earlier was the representation of this real pain. Yes. And as for Cuthbert's presence, well, having him show up in her nightmares wasn't exactly anything new.

She had to be dreaming. She had to be dreaming. Because why would a professor roll his eyes at her for telling the truth? And why would Fern Quimbley - pretty, popular, almost 13 years old Fern Quimbley - have points deducted?

Not taking her eyes off of the potions professor, Fern pinched her thigh through the fabric of her skirt.

Then she started to panic.

Her professor hated her she had just lost 10 points from her house she was going to be chained to CUTHBERT she was going to be handcuffed to him for THREE DAYS there was no ammount of baths or showers that was going to save her from this amount of exposure she was going to die she was going to die she was going to die she was goingtodieshewasgoingtodie!!!

Fern was having trouble finding her voice. She was having trouble standing up. It took her a couple seconds before she managed to croak, "Yes, sir."

Well, GOOD.

Finally, they weren't yelling and trying to explain, but simply agreed with him for a change. Cosgrach nodded then and turned to Cutty Mordaunt: "I expect to see you at breakfast at 8 AM. Go now." Was he going to challenge him? Cosgrach hoped not. His head was throbbing enough already. Cutty had suggested giving a calming draught to his ex-girlfriend, but it was the Professor who needed it the most right now.

"And you should come with me to my office," he gestured to her. This was more of a request, though. He wasn't going to argue if she wanted to run away. He just believed she needed that calming draught, in case she had more voice to yell. He didn't explain WHY in front of Cutty, however. He knew boys that age could be cruel. He didn't want him to mock her more.

OOC: I'll PM you the OOC-details.

Kevin was glad that his back wasn't hurting anymore but he did found it strange. He was young so why did he feel like an old man? He looked beside him at Bart and flinched when the older Gryffindor began to shout calling the Bloody Baron's name.

He didn't call him himself just yet. He was still catching his breath from the LOOOONG walk and was letting the other Gryffindor do all the work. He looked around him for a few moments but when there was no sign of the Slytherin house ghost he sighed. Bart was kind of useless.... But he didn't say this out loud because this was the first time that someone was willing to hang out with him.

"YO BLOODY BARON...." He turned his gaze to Bart. "Do you know his real name?" he asked. "IF BLOODY BARON IS YOUR REAL NAME THAN THAT'S PRETTY LAAAAME!" Kevin trying to make ghost angry since 2083

Cutty gave a nod of understanding to the Potions Master. Eight o'clock tomorrow left him with plenty of time to...enjoy being a free boy until he would be shackled to a she-badger for the lot of the next day. Yes. Yes. That's what we'll say. That's exactly how it'll come out. Yes.

The kid bolted out down the corridor but looked behind him to see that they weren't watching him find his way to his common room.

Why did Fern have to go to the potion's professor's office!? The 12-year-old's eyes widened, and she nearly, nearly cast a pleading look in Cuthbert's direction. But she didn't, because Fern didn't need his help.

No, she was a Quimbley. And she was not a sissy. She was mature and almost 13-years-old. Fern stuck out her chin and nodded at the professor, waiting for him to lead the way.

Then, in the privacy of her pockets, she wiped her sweaty, shaking hands on the fabric of her robes.

Cosgrach was watching Cutty, so he missed Fern's BIG eyes. Well, good. He was heading to his common room.

"Come on then," he addressed to Fern and took only a few steps to reach his office.

Bart was looking around for the Baron where is he. Seriously was Sir Nick lying was there really any ghost around here other than him. This was getting annoying really. He wanted to find this ghost just to see if he was even real. As they walked along Bart continued to yell for the Bloody Baron, but even he jumped at the sound of Kevin's scream.

"Whoa you don't have to scream in my ear dude." and honestly if they were going to jump through the ghost let's not tick him off before they could even get set. If he was annoyed by the screams he wouldn't come out for the to get a good jump. "Plus we don't want to annoy him we want him to come out thinking we are just trying to find him."

So shhhhh

He turned a corner in the corridor "Maybe he's in the common room or something." He shrugged really starting to believe the ghost wasn't there.

Tallulah was bored. Bored, bored, booooooooooooored. There was simply nothing to do, and no one in the common room interested her.

Maybe the house elves would be more fun. Even if they did tell her off for being out of bed... again. ... Tallulah shrugged - food's worth it either way.

The brunette wandered down the dungeon corridors, keeping to the shadows as best she could. Maybe trying to look like she WASN'T trying to hide would be a better idea. It was cute when the House Elves said she should be in bed; it's terrifying when a teacher (or worse - a prefect) catches you.

Eh. She'd be fiiiiiiine. It was only a little bit after curfew, anyway.

Tallulah ran her fingers across tapestries and stonework as she walked. Hogwarts was weird, but she liked it all the same.

Okay, okay, Cosgrach was calm and calm and calm. It was only a set of stairs, anyway. Just a set of stairs, and it was late: people either ate or were in their common rooms. He was safe. He was a professor anyway! He was acting stupidly. He was a professor. A stupid brat couldn't challenge him.

Right.

Panting, he moved the stretcher with a second year Hufflepuff girl on it out from his office down the corridor--there was a GIRL there--she'd better mind her own business then. He walked confidently. He was a professor. He held the power.

"Can I tell you something?" Dante Dark asked softly, taking her hand in his own.

Fern's breath caught in her throat. She nodded.

His dark, dark eyes stared into her soul. "I've never met anyone like you in my whole entire life. Fern," Fern loved how he said her name, "let me tell you how much I love you in a song."

"F is for your faaaantastic fashion sense. E is for every time my heart skips a beat when you look at me. R is for~"

On the stretcher, Fern snored.

Why were the dungeons always so chilly? THAT was what Tallulah didn't understand. The common room was nice, and the potions room was melting, but the rest of the dungeon was horribly cold. Why? Was it merely for the aesthetic? Maybe she should go and talk to someone and request the school did something about the cold temperatures down here--

Wait - who is that? The potions professor, bugger! Tallulah turned on her heel. She'd make it look like she was making her way back to the common room, perfect! He couldn't possibly tell her off for tha---- Hold on a second... Why does he have a student on a stretcher?!

Tallulah would recognise that snort-y snore from a hundred miles away - she'd camped next to it so many times. The older girl stared at the stretcher, then to the teacher. Rushing up to the stretcher, only caring a little if she knocked the professor (he didn't seem as likely to set her on fire as Professor Lafay had), 'Lulah grabbed either side of Fern's face.

"WHAT IN THE EVER-LINGERING STENCH OF A HOUSE ELF'S TOGA HAPPENED TO FERN?!"

Ahem. Not that House Elves neglected their laundry. Perhaps she should be a little quieter.She wasn't DYING, was she?! Why did the Professor look so CONFIDENT in himself?! Tallulah let go of her cousin and stood tall, puffing her chest, crossed her arms, and eyed the teacher. She wanted an ANSWER. WHAT HAD HE DONE TO FERN?!

Yeah yeah, Cosgrach was so confident. He was the professor here. Surely, if the girl had decent ears, she would have heard of his anger during classes and she would just clear the way--

She did the OPPOSITE. She rushed to Fern, and in such a hurry she nearly knocked him over too! Instead of anger, though, he felt panic rise in him again. He was fully aware of how it looked to her: he had done something to Fern, and now was taking her to the Healer or whatever. But really, he was all innocent! If anything, he was the victim here--

"Merlin, girl!" he exclaimed as sternly as he could, given the circumstances. "Keep that down." He even managed to frown at her. He so had the power here! Seriously, though. Did it write to scream here? First Fern, now this possibly-Slytherin girl. He was nearly 41. His ears didn't like silly, shrill girl voices. "She's soundly sleeping with a calming draught, sweet Merlin."

"OI!" he exclaimed as his free hand was pointing at the older girl threateningly, "whaddarya touchin' her for?"

"And that's why F-E-R-N stands for L-O-V-E, my love, my love, my looove~," Dante finished before moving closer to her on the rose-draped bench and cupping her face in both of his hands.

He leaned in, puckering his -

OW OW OW why was he squeezing her face so hard OW OW "Owwww!!" Fern cried, "Ow-"

Tallulah!?

Opening her eyes half way - they were so heavy, she was so tired - the 12-year-old muttered groggily, "Tallulah, what'reyadoing? You aren' s'posed to be in the Huff'puff dorms..." and what was - Fern squinted, trying to get up on her elbow and failing, "ProfessaCullllloden?"

Tallulah blushed - the bad, horribly embarrassed kind. "I know, I know! I didn't mean to be so-- Since when did a calming draught send someone completely to sleep?!" HMMM. Sure, her potions skills weren't AMAZING, but they were fairly okay! She NEEDED them to be!

A voice! FERN! SHE'S ALIIIVE! "Fern!"

Why was she... Tallulah stood, indignant. Did these professors not bother to learn ANYTHING about their students?! "Fern - happens to be my cousin. Professor." And don't point your Potion-y fingers at my, Mister.

... They weren't IN the Hufflepuff common room. Tallulah eyed Fern. Was she okay? REALLY okay? She seemed really out of it. WHAT HAD THE PROFESSOR REALLY DONE?! "Woah, careful there, Fern.... Um. We're not in the Hufflepuff Common room." I am figuring out how to sneak into it, though. Heh. Tallulah rubbed the back of her head.

Was she questioning his statement? Really? Cosgrach GLARED at the girl. Didn't she know better?

"If the body is tired already, since it was created,"he said indignantly. Seriously. What did she think, he'd make a little girl sleep in his office and then attempt to take her back to her dormitories--

Her cousin? Really, now? His eyes went from Fern to her, but he failed to see any similarity. Hmm.

"You are being carried to your dorms, Miss Quimbley," he told the younger girl to calm her down. He figured she would sleep again soon anyway.

"Alright, enough chatting," he announced, and moved the stretcher in air towards the Hufflepuff common room.

No. Wait. He paused, signalled the COUSIN to come if she wasn't, already, and asked her "Do you know a boy named Cutty?"

The 12-year-old gave Tallulah a loopy smile. Yes, they were cousins. Tallulah was Fern's only cousin. "And best friiiiends, don' forget tha' part.

"We're not?" Fern looked around in confusion, taking in the dark dungeon corridor. This would explain why her cousin was there. And her professor. "Bu' why-" Oh, everything was so fuzzy. Fern closed her eyes and nodded when Professor Culloden spoke, "Kay."

"'e's my ex-boyfriend," the 12-year-old supplied helpfully, not opening her eyes and wrinkling her nose as she was filled with a small feeling of annoyance that she could not place.

Sophie dashed out the Slytherin common room, modeling clay in her hand. She'd nearly forgotten about the History of Magic homework that was due and was scrambling around at the last second trying to get things done. Thank Merlin for charms to help dry things quickly!

Sophie paused in the corridor and took a deep breath. Okay, she should just stop here and now and get this done. She really didn't have time to go anywhere else. So she sat down and began modeling her clay into a perfect square. She needed it to be this shape, so that she could fit the deathly hallows into it.

She smashed the clay and pushed it this way and that way until she had a square. Then she gathered her stuff and started making her way closer to the professor's office.

"OWWWWWW MERLIN'S BEARD OW!"

Stairs were often the downfall, pun fully intended, of many old people. But would this old-young lady be left alone to meet her downfall?

It was certainly looking that way, as her whimpers echoed all the waaaaaaaay down the kitchen corridor and even into the dungeons below.