Kurumi continued to twist her hair around her finger while she waited for Lewis to sort out his thoughts. Why was her heart pounding in her chest so fast? She knew how she felt on the matter or...well...she thought that she knew. She really wasn't so sure anymore after what had happened down at the lake. But the one thing she did know was that she liked seeing Lewis and being around him. That was enough, right?

But then, Kurumi stopped playing with her hair, but not unintentionally. No. She just froze as if someone had hit the pause button on the remote. Her index finger had a strand of her silky black hair wrapped around her finger and her eyes were still locked on his. Only now they were unblinking. Her foot that had been idly wiggling over her knee had stopped its movement as well. It was in this position that she stayed as Lewis spoke and she remained this way for a few moments longer after he had finished.

In the next moment, Kurumi gasped softly and her foot began to wiggle again just as Lewis groaned. "So...does that mean...no?" she frowned. His groan that is. Groans were never a good thing. That much she knew. "We...a-a-aren't...friends anymore?"

The fact that she was now sitting and he was still standing made him feel even more uncomfortable, seeing as he didn't like standing out or drawing attention to himself. But the windowsill he'd previously been sitting on was way too close to where Kurumi was right now, so the only option it seemed was to just stay where he was. Biting his lip. Watching her freeze and then all of a sudden unfreeze again as she thought about his words. Feeling awkward.

Lewis blinked at her, both surprised and as if he'd just been caught in a lie. "I just said yes." He argued a little half-heartedly, getting more and more confused by the second. He DID want them to be friends. Wasn't that all too obvious? Why did she not believe him? And why did he not completely believe himself either? The issue wasn't that he didn't want them to be friends, though. It just...wasn't the whole truth somehow. But he would have to settle with the first option, so friends it was.

His green eyes back on her face, he frowned a little helplessly at her next words. "Why? What...what do you want me to say, Kurumi?" Before he could stop himself he did end up taking a small step into her direction, shaking his head a little, cleary confused by the whole thing. What did she need him to say to believe him that he wanted them to be friends?

Kurumi was back to blinking and looking confused at Lewis. "You...did?" she asked, scratching the back of her head. She had no recollection of him saying so, until he said yes just now. In fact, the last thing she remembered was asking him if they were still friends followed by his groan, which is why she had asked again. "That makes me ha---"

But then her words were taken from her as Lewis stepped forward and asked her a question that she didn't know how to answer. "W-W-What do you mean, what do I want you so say?" she asked in return, feeling even more confused now than she had been moments earlier. Her cheeks flushed a brighter shade of pink and her eyes went down to the floor momentarily. "I...just was worried that you didn't think of me as a friend anymore..." For whatever reason. Her hands gripped the edge of her seat and she unfolded her legs. "I..I wouldn't like that...you're...someone important to me..."

Kurumi's eyes met his again for a brief moment, but for probably three seconds longer than they should have, before she was back to looking at the ground.

Huh. So she wasn't just questioning everything he said, she actually hadn't heard him...? "I...did." Lewis replied slowly, giving her a rather confused look. Did she want him to say it again? "I do." WHAT?! That didn't make much sense. "I mean, yes." He'd already said that. Three times now. If she hadn't got there was something seriously wrong with either of them.

His question seemed to take her completely by surprise, if her stuttering was any indication. He wasn't trying to test her or anything. He was just confused. So it was easiest to just ask her what he was supposed to say, right? "I...just meant. I don't know what to tell you." Or rather what he could tell her. What he wanted to tell her. Which frankly, he just didn't know. Though, she wouldn't know either, probably. "But I do. Think of you as a f-friend." Why he stumbled over the word 'friend' he wasn't too sure either but it definitely made him blush and avert his gaze back down to his hands.

At her next words his eyes flicked back up to hers, holding her gaze as he opened his mouth to reply but somehow was just as at a loss of words. He narrowed his eyes a little, trying to make out what this meant and didn't avert his gaze even when she looked away again. "I am...?" Important how? What was happening?!

Was he sure he had said that? Kurumi was positive that she would have heard him say those words, because they were the ones she was hoping to hear. Still, it was confirmed and that was the important thing, so another small smile grew on the Gryffindor's face. Still...how could she have missed him saying that? It didn't make any sense...

And there he was again, saying the word friend...but with a slight stumble that Kurumi didn't pay much mind to. Lewis often tripped over his words when he was nervous or shy about something, much like her, and this clearly was one of those times. Kurumi was surprised that her hair wasn't changing colors to be entirely honest. This was a rather embarrassing situation they had themselves in. "That's really all I need," she smiled. Only it wasn't, but the reason why she felt that way was completely beyond her. It made her sort of feel sick to her stomach and like a million butterflies were fluttering inside her stomach.

Really? He was surprised to hear that? That was rather silly of him. "Of course you are," she replied with an airy laugh. "You've been there a lot for me, Lewis, and been a good f-friend when I needed one." He had been one of her pillars, like Selina, for a lot of things and she knew that he was someone she could depend on. It was a very good feeling. One that she had been missing... Wait, why had she stumbled over the word too?

That's really all I need. There it was. Everything in a nutshell practically. All she needed was for him to be her friend. That was ALL she needed him to be. "Good." Even though the corners of his lips had started to twitch a little, he still somehow managed to force a smile onto his lips. Inside though he didn't feel like smiling at all. Even though this was good right? They were still friends. He would have hated for them to be anything but. So this was good. Friends.

Then why was it that he suddenly felt his chest tighten and even though he swallowed repeatedly he just couldn't get rid of the taste of bile in the back of his throat. Even though he couldn't be sure since he couldn't actually see himself right now, it definitely felt like all color had drained from his face.He'd been chewing on his lower lip so much the last few minutes that he had somehow drawn blood which he only noticed now. Sucking his lip into his mouth to stop the bleeding, Lewis took a couple of deep breaths through his nose to calm his nerves.

"T-thank you." Why he felt the need to thank her, he wasn't entirely sure but he was beyond controling what came out of his mouth anyway. "I...I'm glad I'm important to you." Important in any way was good. Even though it wasn't in the way he was secretly hoping for. It was definitely a good sign. Yes.

Kurumi pressed her lips together and nodded rather enthusiastically. Yeah, it was good. Really good. She was worried that she had scared him away with her emotional baggage, so it was good to hear that she hadn't. Fantastic even. But...if it was so good, then why was she still perplexed by their current situation? Like there were still unspoken words between the two of them or something.

Her legs swung a bit and she decided that she had had enough of sitting for now. Besides, she wasn't going to send her letters sitting down. Once she was back to standing, Kurumi noticed the sudden change in expression on Lewis' face. Oh Merlin! Was he sick? Kurumi took several hurried steps towards him, stopping midstep when he spoke again to smile at him. Hopefully he hadn't thought the opposite.

Her eyes narrowed just a little, noting his paler than usual features. "You...feeling alright? You look a little pale..." she asked. He did look a little sick. Not thinking about the consequences the following actions could result in, Kurumi lifted her hand and pressed the back of it against his forehead. No...he didn't seem to have a fever... As her hand rested there, her fingers idly played with his dusty blonde hair. She missed being able to do this too...she was the only person Jonathan would let touch his hair like she was now and Lewis had rather touchable hair himself.

OH NO! Why was Kurumi looking at him like that? Like...did he have something on his face? Or was his inner turmoil just reflected so clearly on his face? And even though he'd never ever thought he would think that but right now he really really hoped he had something really gross on his face, causing Kurumi to look at him like that. He really didn't want her to know that he was absolutely not fine with them just being friends.

No, she was supposed to believe exactly that and he would get his emotions under control and then everything could go back to normal. That was the plan. It was a good plan. It was really good plan. So hopefully he - or rather his face - wasn't ruining it right this second.

When she started walking towards him, Lewis barely resisted the urge to take a few steps back again. He wasn't sure he was ready for her to be this close to him again. But actually walking away from her would probably be rude so instead he just kept on standing right where he was, watching her a little warily. "I'm fine." And then she was suddenly really really close and her hand was on his forehead. Gulping he stopped sucking on his lip and just gazed at her, keeping completely still as if she was a rare shy creature which would run away if he moved.

Or as if he just had absolutely no idea what to do and his mind had just gone completely blank the moment she'd touched him.

Still not moving anything except for his eyes, he looked up at her hand which was still on his forehead...and, playing with his hair? Finally awakening from his paralysis Lewis reached up with his own hand and caught hers softly by the wrist, bringing it back down slowly, not letting go of it however once he had. "K-kurumi, what are you doing?" She couldn't just go around playing with his hair like that. Could she?

Kurumi froze again, her fingers still interlaced in his hair and her eyes vacant of any expression. She remained that way for several moments before she came back into the moment and turned her eyes away from Lewis' hair to his face. Why was she putting herself in this situation again? Hadn't she learned her lesson down at the lake? Kurumi just looked at him for several more moments, unaware that she had frozen in place again, and took her gaze away from his eyes only when he took a hold of her arm and lowered it.

"Oh...I-I-I-I'm sorry," she squeaked, tugging on her hand to pull it away but not really putting that much effort into the gesture. What had she been doing? She really didn't know to be honest. Her hands had sort of acted on their own. "Your hair...it is just so...touchable..." And cue another scarlet color to overtake her porcelain features. It was nicer than Daichi's hair, actually. Ug. That thought brought up awkward moments involving Entrancing Enchantments. She really didn't want to relive those right now. She was feeling awkward enough as it was.

"I-I-I know some people don't like it when people play with their hair," she said, continuing to stammer. "I-I-It won't happen again." Which was probably a promise she couldn't keep because he had really REALLY nice hair.

She was too close. Way to close. AGAIN. How could this have happened? AGAIN. Lewis stared right back when she lowered her gaze to his face, the nasty feeling of a déjà-vu creeping over him. Hadn't they just stated that they were just friends and hadn't he just promised himself that he would try and be exactly that? Yes, he had. So why was she so close to his face like that? It wasn't like he had a lot of experience in the friends-department but he was pretty sure this was not a normal situation for friends to be in.

But then again being this close to a friend probably shouldn't cause his heart beating so loudly he was almost sure she could hear it, either so what did he know.

Once he felt her tug on her hand he immediately let go of it, blushing a little at the sheer fact he hadn't done so earlier. What was she..."My hair...? Lewis squinted up at his forehead again in an attempt to see what was so touchable about his hair but couldn't really see much of it. So THAT was the reason she had come this close? To touch his hair? It had to be...she was still talking about it after all. Making excuses for touching it and promising that it wouldn't happen again.

"Whatever." Lewis muttered more to himself than to her as he took a small step back and swallowed, trying to keep the hurt out of his eyes. She'd come this close to touch his hair. And there he was getting his hopes up all nervous about her coming this close again. It was all the hair, nothing more, nothing less.

Kurumi swallowed...hard.

Her eyes drifted to her hand and watched as Lewis let go of it. It fell to her side like a rag doll's and just hung there as a small and almost unnoticeable frown crept across her face. She...didn't actually want him to let go of her hand. Not really. Yes, a part of her did because it made her feel uncomfortable and feel things that she really shouldn't. But there was the other part of her that hated how he had let go and wished that he would have held on tight. Almost as if she didn't want to slip through his fingers.

Shaking her head for a moment, Kurumi's eyes widened when he not only took a step back, but murmured something under his breath. "Whatever?" she repeated, the frown now very noticeable on her lips. What did that mean? Kurumi took a small step back as well, but not before her body sort of lunged forward and reached out towards his hand, but only barely touched him before pulling back. "What...does that mean?" she asked, chewing on the inside of her cheek. "What were you hoping I would say?" Because she clearly had said the wrong thing.

The hand which had been holding on to hers just a second ago felt weird right now, a little tingly even. To give it something to do he started kneading it with his other hand so nervously, sucking his lower lip back into his mouth again. It kinda hurt. But it was nothing in comparison to the way his chest tightened when he looked back at Kurumi and found her frowning...quite openly too. What had he done now?!

This was slowly getting extremely frustrating somehow.

Oh so she HAD heard him, and had apparently thought it to be offensive in some way. Even though he had just expressed his frustration with himself mostly. What did it mean?! "Nothing." And they were back to that again, huh? They really weren't getting anywhere. But for once he had the feeling that it wasn't his fault. It was her who just wouldn't let it go. Only why?!

Lewis actually gasped at her next question. What had he wanted her to say?! This was a...dangerous question. So naturally he didn't really answer it. It wasn't like he knew the answer anyway. "You...just have to stop doing that." He replied quietly, for once not averting his gaze away from her face but instead meeting her gaze to make her understand.

Kurumi froze, but this time it was different from the previous two times she had. She was fully conscious and aware of what was going on despite her breathing being unsteady. There it was again, her least favorite word that Lewis seemed to say often. Nothing. Nothing was ever just nothing...and they both needed to get past that boundary. She opened her mouth to speak, but then thought the better of it and closed her mouth. Even if she spoke...she figured that she was only going to make matters worse.

She seemed to be good at that, unfortunately.

Like right there. The gasp. Kurumi winced and bit her bottom lip hard, scrunching her face up at the pain. For some reason, his words felt like daggers into her chest. Something inside her told her she knew what he meant, but the more dominate side was confused. "Stop...doing...what?" she asked quietly, her eyes still not blinking. She almost regretted asking the question the moment the words left her lips.

Okay, he really should have expected this question.

It still took him by surprised and he exhaled through his nose sharply, sucking on his lip. Yes, what was 'that' exactly? He had hoped that she would just understand what he was referring to without him actually saying it out loud. But apparently she didn't. Or wouldn't. "This." He made a vague hand gesture, moving his hand back and forth between him and her a couple of times.

Lewis stopped mid-wave when he realized what he was doing and swallowed hard. No, he hadn't meant stop being them. "I mean...what-what are we doing?" Well, actually they weren't doing anything. Which was one of the problems. They weren't even really talking about it either. He had hoped by defining their relationship, the awkwardness would go away. But somehow there was still something between them that kept them from moving on. Meeting her gaze he gave her a rather helpless look, genuinely hoping for some sort of guidance or idea from her.

Kurumi's eyes widened when he began moving his hand back and forth between the two of them. Wait...now THAT made no sense. Was he suggesting that they revoke the title of friend? Thankfully, Lewis stopped the frightening hand movement and clarified...sort of.

Only not really at all.

His question confused her too. Weren't they just hanging out, like what friends did? Only, that wasn't really what they were doing, was it? Kurumi pressed her lips together tight and brought her feet together so she stood a little taller. It made her feel a little less ... awkward. Body posture was important after all. If you walked with confidence, then you felt like you had it, and you showed that you had confidence. Only Kurumi was feeling the least confident in a relationship with another person. So...what were they doing? Being confused is what they were doing.

Removing her hands from her pockets and folded them across her chest. "I...I don't know...Lewis..." she said as the lights slowly turned on in her head. Finally, those unspoken words were being brought to the surface and Kurumi hugged her arms tight. "But...I...can't help...getting close to you..." And it frightened her. A lot.

Her hands dropped to her sides and found a new resting place in her pockets where the letters still were and she felt a sharp tug in her chest.

Lewis eyes fell on her lips when she pressed them tightly together, and he swallowed, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He had started pinching the bridge of his nose again absently without averting his gaze from her. Was this the moment they were actually going to talk about it. Whatever IT was. But apparently his question had caused her to think and he was pretty glad for the moment of silence that resulted in.

The problem was that he just had no idea what they were doing either. So it wasn't like he had any clue what to expect from her. He just knew that he needed some kind of answer from her. An answer as to what was happening and above all, what it all meant. Because he knew what it meant to him - even though he had told himself that he would be working on changing that - but he just didn't know what it meant to her.

A sigh escaped his lips when at first she stated that she didn't know either. This conversation really wasn't going anywhere, was it? "Well, I-" But then she went on talking and he stopped as if somebody had slapped him, just staring at her. "But...that's not..." Possible? "...right." He shook his head sadly and despite his words, he took a couple of steps towards her, as if his body was acting of its own accord. Which it just might have been.

Narrowing his eyes a little he ran a hand through his hair to stop them from fidgeting about. What was going on? Why was this happening? And why had nobody prepared him for something like this?

Well, at least he hadn't said nothing this time around. Kurumi's shoulders relaxed a bit but her hand remained on the letter inside her pocket. Another letter that that representing her clinging on to a wish that was never going to come true. Was she wasting her time, again? She had clung on to Adam for so long after he had left, writing him letter after letter and getting no reply...and it was happening again... Was she really being abandoned? Forgotten? Something told her not to believe that, but there was also a part of her that was doubting.

Not realizing that she was, the Gryffindor took another small step towards Lewis and she chewed on her lip some more, trying to think about what he had just said. That's not right... No, it wasn't right for her to feel this way. For many reasons. She shouldn't feel like she was being abandoned by someone she cared so much for. Someone that she thought she, well, she was confused on that part too. Then there was the other thing. There was Lewis standing there in front of her. Someone that represented safety and comfort for her. Someone that she liked spending time with and felt...well, felt something. Kurumi tried to put all the pieces together and thought that she had. He just didn't feel the same, right? Just friends and nothing more? So that was the issue, she was reaching out for something, a connection, that had been taken from her and she had found Lewis?

That didn't seem right either.

She looked up now and was just in time to see him run his hands through his hair. Her heart pounded in his chest. "S-S-Sorry...I guess it was naive to think that you..." She trailed off. She really didn't want to finish that sentence. Or to have him either confirm or deny it.

Body acting on its own again, Kurumi took another small step forward.

Seriously, couldn't somebody have told him that once you turned 15 things just started to get crazy? And complicated. And really really confusing. Or maybe it was because he'd moved to England. Maybe that was why everything had started to get really complicated all of a sudden. Not that looking for an explanation helped him in this situation in any way. Not at all. He was just as clueless as before. And just as confused.

And her taking another step towards him wasn't making this any easier. They were so close now that if he reached out he could easily...well, reach her. Which he really wanted to do right now. Just reach out and pull her towards him. But it was...wrong. And it would complicate things a lot. And he was pretty sure she wouldn't want him to do that. So instead all he did was resist the urge to take another step into her direction. That was all he could do right now.

And then...she said something which caused him to inhale sharply and give her an incredulous look. What was she talking about? That he what? She couldn't be talking about the same thing he was thinking about right now? Right? Because by now it was way too obvious for his liking that he did. So she had to be talking about something else. Right? But what if she wasn't...? Was this one of those moments where his answer would change everything? This could either go extremely wrong or extremely right.

"But I-" -do was what he had been about to say but chickened out in the last moment after all. What if she was talking about something else after all? So he needed to have this clarified first. Biting his lip he averted his gaze down to the ground and echoed her words, "To think that I...what?" And without looking up or thinking about it he took another small step towards her.

Kimalia came in with a box of- you guessed it- owl treats. What can she say, her Precious was spoiled and was too grown to change the habit. "Here you are girl." Holding her arm out for her owl to land on with- ooh another letter.. Well then.. Looking at the envelope she almost forgot to pay when Precious tugged on some of the loose hair from her ponytail style. "Oh, yeah.." Taking some treats into her palm before feeding Precious whilst smiling.

"Sorry Precious, no letter to deliver.. have a rest tonight." Rubbing her beautifully black coated head, Kimalia walked off.. and left the box of owl treats out.

Kurumi winced. What had he been about to say? Did she really want to know? Kurumi couldn't bring herself to look at Lewis directly and instead rested her gaze on his shoes. Shoes didn't show emotions and were a nice neutral place to be right now. Her hand continued to crinkle the letter in her pocket and the sharp pain in her chest intensified. It became so strong that her other hand reached up and clasped her chest - along with the necklace from Jonathan hidden under her robes.

When he asked, Kurumi's initial reaction was to use his word: nothing. She was being selfish right now. There really was no other way to look at it. Lewis had said that they were friends, and then told her to stop doing whatever it was that they were doing...it was obvious that the signs were pointing to one conclusion, no? So, really, she was the one making them awkward and she was the one that had to put an end to it, yes? Which meant that she had to be honest and just come out with it.

Inhaling deeply, Kurumi slowly lifted her gaze until it met his, her hand still clutching her chest. One last selfish action and then she would be done. "That you....liked me..." Her tone expressed that she was not referring to the friend sort of like. Kurumi felt a little queasy and she sort of wobbled in place before regaining her balance. She knew that was she was feeling was both the same and different as what she felt when she was around Jonathan...but she couldn't just ignore that, could she? "Because I...li--"

See, there she was, being selfish again. She should really just go...yet her feet were still planted firmly on the ground. Her mind was telling her to run, but everything else was telling her that she wasn't going anywhere.

You're the one that I want - You are the one I want - Oh Oh Oh. Honey. xD
 

While Lewis knew that it reality it only took Kurumi a few seconds to answer his question, to him it felt like hours. "Hours" in which he could really think things through again. And realize how wrong this whole conversation was...their whole friendship was. You couldn't just be friends with somebody you...had a thing for. He didn't dare think of this as anything more than a crush. It wouldn't be very helpful if he did.

But on the other hand, he really really did like being around her, being well friends with her so to say. And he didn't want to lose that either. So he just had to get over it and quickly, right? That was the plan, had been the plan since he'd realized that this wasn't going to work out. Only now here she was, still talking about it, trying - or so it seemed - to get him to actually admit it out loud. Only to what end?!

...

Liked her. Yeah, that was one way to look at it. Only not only like. Like like, rather. A rather frustrated sigh escaped his lips at this thought and he just rubbed his forehead for a moment, feeling a headache coming on. "But I do..." Lewis finally finished his previously started sentence, still not looking up at her. He sort of had the feeling that if he met her gaze now, he was going to do something stupid...or run. Again.

And then she said something which made him throw caution to the wind and he did look up at her, meeting her gaze. A surprised look was plastered across his face and he opened his mouth to say something...only to close it again after a couple of seconds, since he just had absolutely no idea what to reply to that. Especially because she hadn't actually SAID it. She'd trailed off somewhere in the middle of the sentence, leaving it open for interpretation. Though there wasn't much room for interpretation really, right? Or was he just imagining things?

"What...were you saying?" He finally asked softly, searching her eyes for some sort of clue as to what was going on right now. This couldn't be happening, right?

Kurumi continued to sway in place while she waited for some sort of reaction from him. Honestly, what was she doing right now? Was she really the same girl who had written the letter in her pocket to a certain Slytherin and who had cried herself to sleep for the umpteenth time because she hadn't heard from him in months? She felt as though that Kurumi were now being locked away elsewhere. So which one was the real Kurumi? Not even she knew right now. All she knew was that she was here, right now, and her heart was beating faster than a hummingbird's wings.

Now it was her turn to gasp. Those words, right there. They were both words that she wanted to hear and words that she wished Lewis hadn't sad. A faint smile tugged at the edges of her lips, while inside she was screaming. Couldn't Jonathan's owl just come swooping in right now with a letter for her and end...whatever this was that was happening? It would have been the sign that she had nothing to worry about. She didn't have to be afraid because she wasn't being abandoned. Only that sign wasn't coming...and all her attention was on the Hufflepuff in front of her.

His sigh made her frown though. She didn't like sighs...no matter what the situation was.

She wobbled a bit more and chewed more on her lip. They both were doing that a lot...chewing. Her eyes were back on his now and the Owlery felt suffocating from the tension. "I...I..." she stammered, tugging on the sleeves of her robes. "Me too..." Since he hadn't said that word, then she wasn't going to either. It was only fair.

She pivoted forward, one hand still on her chest, and her violet eyes still looking at him. She did like Lewis...and that is why this whole thing was frightening. Very frightening.

Not quoting.
 

Kurumi took several long and deep breaths as she tried to steady herself. Kurumi wished that Lewis would stop hiding behind his hands. It made this conversation even more difficult while at the same time made it all seem easier. Hidden from view, Kurumi couldn't actually see what he was feeling...although she could see his eyes, and they were still able to communicate mountains. Her breath caught in her chest for a moment and she cough a few times when it did return.

Only to find that her breath was sort of taken away again by his words. Different? Well, of course it was different. No one liked a person in the same way that they did another. Each relationship was unique. That is what made it special. So, in a sense, Lewis was speaking the truth and Kurumi sort of nodded her head while at the same time sort of shook it. "I...don't know," she admitted. That WAS the truth. Unless...he was saying that his feelings and hers were the ones that were different. "I just know that...I do..."

She wanted to move in some sort of direction. She felt rigid and awkward just standing like she was right now, so close to Lewis. She shouldn't have played with his hair - even if she wanted to again right now - because that seemed to have been what had sparked all...this.

"Is...that why you ran...the other day?" she asked, biting her lip. Meaning, that he ran because of...this liking-you-as-more-than-a-friend thing. Her cheeks flushed and her hand gripped the pendant around her neck a little tighter.