Without uttering a word, because Louisa was sure that opening her mouth would lead to another sobbing session, the sixteen years old moved closer and wrapped her arms around his torso hiding her face into his shoulder. She wasn't crying, suddenly the urge to cry was less urgent but she stayed like this for as long as this mourning feeling lasted.

She should probably tell the story of her stupidity. If Paulie knew, Adam should know. She was feeling guilty already for not including Adam in the whole play... although the idea just hit her that day so she was free.

Louisa turned her head to the side, without letting go, and spoke sniffing, "I brought it on us, y'know. The breakup. I was being bossy and juvenile as ever and pulled off an act with Paulie who had no idea what was going on. I wanted Joao to feel the jealousy I once felt. Instead he just kept his straight face and walked away." A heavy sigh followed that. Her voice was muffled by his shirt but she still hadn't let go, "Then he stalked me and Paulie. I went on with flirting play... and we fought. Never spoke to each other ever since."

As soon as Louisa had moved closer and wrapped her arms around his torso, Adam wrapped his arms around her, resting the bottom of his chin on the top of her head. Louisa wasn't crying but Adam was glad that she was letting him offer her this form of comfort, and he listened carefully as Louisa began to talk about what happened. So Louisa wanted him to feel jealous? Well...Adam still didn't really know what was the cause of all that tension between Louisa and Joao but he was having a pretty strong feeling that it had something to do with the Evelyn girl that he had spoken to on one occasion. Adam had to admit it was hard for him in this moment to not start to feel some serious loathing towards Joao but he kept his anger in check because obviously Louisa was not feeling angry towards him at all.

So Paulie had helped Louisa make Joao feel jealous? Adam had to admit he was bit surprised but then again Paulie did hate the Brazil Nut and was in his own silently rooting for Adam and Louisa to be together. So naturally Paulie would have helped in this relationship's destruction. Adam wasn't sure if he should be thankful or unhappy because obviously Louisa was hurting and obviously she felt it was completely her fault and none of his. But honestly how could he just walk away like that? Surely someone who had fought so hard against Adam would have done something to stop the whole thing from happening? Again the anger was starting to rise in Adam's chest, but he kept it down.

"I'm sorry Louisa," Adam finally got out, still holding Louisa against his shoulder. "I wish there was something I could do to fix the situation, but I don't think I can. Did Joao do something in particular that wanted you to make him jealous? I mean, you aren't the kind of person that would just do something like that on a whim. There must have been a reason, right?" Adam knew a little from his conversation with Evelyn, but he didn't know enough to boldly state that whatever had happened between the two of them was enough...

Sniffing loudly, she pulled away slowly and started searching for a tissue.. or two in her pockets. "It's okay, Adam. I don't want it to be fixed. We were having problems anyway. He was being so arrogant and selfish." Ah! Found a tissue. Louisa blew her nose in it before going on, "I saw him with someone else, too. I thought he was cheating on me which made me come up with that stupid plan." The girl folded the tissue and looked up at her friend.

"I used Paulie, you know. Shoved him right into the fake flirting thing. That was bad of me." Pause. "Don't be mad at him." She certainly didn't want Adam to have an argument with his best mate for something she pushed Paulie into.

Why did she so suddenly turn into a saint? Louisa let a wet chuckle at the thought, "It's funny how only when I'm sad I can be good and caring." She started fiddling with her skirt, "Maybe it's why I always lose." Ouch.

Adam listened carefully, keeping his eyes slightly on Louisa but looking away so she didn't have to feel like she was being watched while she blew her nose. Adam kept his arm around her shoulder, mindlessly giving her back a little rub as she explained her reasoning for trying to make Joao jealous. So Adam's suspicions had been right...Joao had been at least flirting with that girl if not more. What a little weasel. The anger was continuing to swell inside Adam and the urge to cast a nasty hex on the boy was mounting. "Well then it sounds like you have nothing to feel bad about. If the guy was cheating on you then he deserves to feel the hurt you felt," Adam said with a shrug. Yeah...maybe he was putting things a bit too simply but with his anger at Joao that was really all that he could muster without having Louisa get even more upset at how angry he was.

At the comment about not hating Paulie Adam gave a little shake of the head. "I'm not mad at him at all. In fact I'm sure he enjoyed getting a little payback on Joao for...." Adam stopped mid sentence. He had been very much on the verge of saying for dating the girl his best mate wanted to be with. Hoping but knowing that it was a moot point that Louisa might not notice, Adam cleared his throat slightly and shot a look to the ground, slowly removing his arm from around Louisa's shoulder. If there was any time to admit that Adam still felt the way he felt about Louisa this was definitely not it.

At Louisa's last comment Adam looked at her sternly. "That is not true at all. You have been caring to me multiple times when you haven't been sad. You're a good person Louisa...you need to stop doubting that so much. Sometimes the people we care about can bring out the worst or the best in us. It just goes with the territory," Adam said with a small wave of the hand.

Louisa didn't really mind Adam's arm around her shoulders. He was her best friend and after two years of knowing someone you let them hold you when you're sad. It's normal. Besides, she wasn't really that shy and preserved girl. Scoff. "The thing is.. Evelyn, the girl I thought he was flirting with, told me that my doubts about the two of them were wrong." Pause in which she furrowed her eyebrows, "Although he took advantage of her name a lot when we were talking. He knew that will set me off." Jerk.

And then things got awkward. Louisa raised her eyebrows, "For what?" She certainly missed the reason of his sudden muteness. "I mean I knew that they met once and from experience I know Joao must've messed up. But exactly what did he do to Paulie?" That was what Adam talked about, right?

She... was great? Louisa smiled, "Thank you, Adam." Really. What else should she say?

Adam gave a tiny nod although he wasn't really sure that he understood what she meant. Perhaps Evelyn hadn't meant anything by what happened but that didn't necessarily mean that Joao didn't. Of course Adam was sure that his dislike of the boy was causing his judgement to be clouded without having all of the facts, so he kept this tidbit of opinion to himself. In all honesty Adam wasn't really sure what to say to Louisa. "Well...you know what you saw or heard or whatever, and I'm sure you know Joao better than...Evelyn was that her name?...so I think you should go with your instincts. Plus it sounds like if he was using her name a lot to annoy you, he must not have been that clueless about what he was doing..."

Adam was silent, not really sure how to respond to Louisa's inquiries. Sure there had been that incident on the train when Paulie kicked Joao, even though it had kind of been by accident, but Adam knew that most of Paulie's loathing towards the boy related directly back to the complicated situation with him and Louisa. There was no way that Adam wanted to say exactly what he meant and he didn't want to come up or blow the train situation out of proportion so Adam merely shook his head. "Never mind..." Adam mumbled softly before rubbing his one hand through his hair. He was so flustered by this near slip up that was spiraling down swiftly that Adam didn't even comment back to her thanks about her being a good person.

What she saw and heard. "Actually I only saw them holding hands. And laughing." Blink blink. Quickly she added, "But you know Joao. He wouldn't hold hands with other girls and laugh for nothing. He was definitely on something." She nervously fixed her ponytail hair, "Not that it mattered now. It's over. I'm better off without him." The crack in her voice wasn't very helpful.

Louisa brought her arms down with a sigh. "What do you mean 'never mind'? It's not really my business I'm sure but it's nice to share with me whatever between you two once in a while." Her voice was raw from the bottled up recent sob but she sounded firm and a bit annoyed at those two secrets...

.. unless. It was the thing Paulie was talking to her about before Joao showed up. About her and Adam being an item and all that nonsense. Surely they were single now but Louisa wanted to treasure her friendship with him and protect it from the awkwardness of relationship. "You know that I like you being my close friend, Adam." She found herself saying softly, leaning on him just a bit too.

Adam gave a small nod of the head. "Honestly I've never seen him touch anyone willingly other than you...even shaking hands with people seemed to sometimes go against his wishes," Adam said, hoping that his words soothed whatever potential doubts she might have been having on what she had witnessed. At Louisa's comment that she was better off without him Adam gave her a small smile and a little nod. To say that he agreed completely would be kind of heartless. Louisa knew that he detested the boy but that didn't mean that now that they'd broken up that that meant Adam should start openly expressing all of his dislikes about Joao to her. After all Louisa had liked the guy enough to date him for quite a bit of time, right?

Adam was picking up on the bit of annoyance in Louisa's voice at his inability to share whatever it was that had happened between Joao and Paulie. "Nothing really happened in particular," Adam said with a little shrug. "Paulie was just being a good friend to me...he knows that Joao isn't exactly on my list of favorite people." There...that was enough info to hopefully satisfy Louisa without having to pry into the more serious matter that had been behind Adam's words.

Until the next words came out of Louisa's mouth. And they stung. Like nothing else. Louisa had moved closer to him so that the side of their arms were touching but Adam couldn't bring himself to put his arm around her. This was the pain that Adam was no longer able to keep down anymore, and that was the pain that Louisa would only ever see him as a friend and nothing more. Her words should have basically just said we're never going to happen because I like having you as a best friend too much. It took Adam a moment before he was able to compose his throat enough that he could mutter back, "Same here." But the words didn't come out quite as soft and caring as Louisa's did, but he was sure that in her current preoccupied mind that she wouldn't notice. Adam interlocked his fingers on his lap and leaned back slightly against the wall behind them, looking down the pathway in front of them.

Okay.. was it just her or did he really suddenly was stiff and weird? Louisa watched him lean back on the wall and stare forward. This was like the time they buried their promises by the duck pond, when he went silent and would only murmur a few words at her. Her suspicions about Paulie's request were growing. Louisa wasn't stupid but she didn't want to take hasty steps either. The chaos she'd made with Joao was the result of her jumping to conclusions so yeah, she was being cautious.

"Well, you know that I'm not a little girl who won't understand if someone tries to explain something to her, don't you?" Her mourning was fading away only to be replaced by confusion, "Whatever's bothering you, I can understand. Just tell me." As for their old affection issue, she'd ask Paulie about it. No need to create more awkwardness with Adam. Also what if it all was Paulie's doing? Not cool.

At Louisa's words Adam turned slightly to look at her. He could tell that she was confused and didn't understand what was happening. It was the same horrible situation he had managed to get himself into when they were burying their promises, and while that time Adam had managed to push through it, this time he wasn't quite all that sure. But he had to say something didn't he? He obviously couldn't just try and push this whole thing under the rug, not when it was so out in the open and Louisa was staring at him so pointedly.

"Listen....Louisa....I think it's just better if we don't okay?" Adam finally managed to get out. The flustered feeling he felt was starting to come through his words slightly. "Paulie I'm sure was just trying to be a good friend because he knows that I still like you and it hurts me that you chose Joao over me, alright?"

By the time that he had gotten the last words out Adam was off the bench, his face flushed red in irritation, and regret filling over his features. "God...I'm sorry...this is not the time for you to be worrying about this. You're hurting enough...let's just...." The end of Adam's words fizzled out because he didn't know how to finish the sentence. Forget this happened? Not possible. Forget he said that? Not happening. Forget that Adam still loved Louisa? Definitely not happening.

O_________o

He still liked her. And Paulie was doing all those hints and pushes so that she would change her mind from Joao to Adam. Louisa stared at Adam as he stumbled on his words and then on his feet. What the heck was going on? How should she react?

Louisa stood up too then, a bit awkwardly. It was impolite to just sit there and talk. "Yeah. It's better we don't mention this." she tried to sound soft and not to hurt his feelings but he seemed to get it. Breaking up with one boy only to get with his first enemy was not a good idea at the moment. "Also.. I honestly don't want to ruin our friendship. We're doing great like this, don't you think? Friends and close, I never hold up when I talk to you and so do you. Why ruin this by.." she stopped. Any word now and he would be offended, she knew this much. But her eyes bore into his, pleading for a nod or an agreement.

Adam couldn't speak as Louisa started talking about how they shouldn't mention this whole thing, and how they were doing so well just as friends, and how she didn't want to ruin this friendship by dating him. The words hadn't specifically come out of her mouth but he knew that that was the bottom line that Louisa was getting to. The fact the of the matter was that Adam was a star actor and that while he had been managing for so long to be that supportive friend, that didn't mean that he felt things were better this way, or that that meant that he didn't want to try. At the time Louisa was comfortably with Joao and had very decidedly chosen to be with him over Adam, but now that they were no longer together Louisa's words hit a nerve and they stung. It wasn't that it was too soon after breaking up or that she was confused, it was that she didn't want to lose him as a friend. It was that Louisa didn't think that Adam and her could be a good couple...that they could last.

Adam could feel Louisa's eyes staring desperately at his face for some kind of nod or agreement that she was right and that it was exactly why Adam hadn't wanted to get into this conversation. That losing her as a friend was the reason why Adam didn't want to say anything. Louisa was wrong but Adam held his tongue.

"Yeah, exactly," Adam said the words coming out flat and dead. "You and I would have never worked out anyway so why bother even mentioning it." The words were cutting and Adam knew that but unfortunately for Adam his level of calmness was gone.

She frowned. "That's it." and threw her arms in the air, "See? You're hurt! You're beating yourself up over the argument. What would happen if we actually went for it? How do you know it's going to be alright and not end up in disaster?" Louisa walked over to her parchments, gathering them angrily, "Your stubborn attitude sucks sometimes."

Once they were in a pile in her arms, she whirled around and looked at him pointedly. "I didn't say you wouldn't work out. I'm not doubting you and it's about damn time you know that you're way better than me when it comes to doing the right thing."

"I'm tired, Adam. Okay? I just need to catch some sleep and we'll talk later" She tried to conjure a casual tone to her voice.

"I don't know Louisa, I'm not psychic! But I can tell you that not doing something because of a potential "if" or because you're afraid isn't always a good reason not to at least try! And my stubborn attitude?! How about yours hmm? Are you telling me that you aren't being just as stubborn by being so hardcore against it? It takes two to make a decision," Adam said, his words filled more with frustration than anything else.

When Louisa snapped and said it was time that Adam realized he was better at doing the right thing Adam shook his head. "No, I'm not Louisa. I am just more willing to take risks, and given the number of times I have been hurt and rejected in my life I know how to handle disappointment." Adam was silent as Louisa gathered her things, rubbing the brim of his nose with his index finger and thumb. When she said that she was tired and that they could talk about this later Adam shook his head and let out a laugh.

"No, we won't talk about this later because whenever we do it just goes in a never ending circle and nothing ever changes. I can't do this anymore Louisa. You know how I feel, it hasn't changed, and I'm not going to stop being a good friend to you, but I can't pretend anymore. I can't just shut it down. It's your information to do with it what you want, but I'm done. I'm sorry about Joao," Adam concluded, by the end his voice back to its normal deep and soft self. With that Adam began to walk down the corridor in front of them.

Louisa opened her mouth several times and closed it because he went on talking and apparently she was not supposed to cut him off or even comment on that. And his words just made her more annoyed and emotional, "No!" "Don't say that!" "Stop it." were her three top answers to his rants. But he had to finish in a desperate kinda way.

"You know how I feel, it hasn't changed, and I'm not going to stop being a good friend to you, but I can't pretend anymore." She let a faint gasp and wanted to tell him to stop it again but he turned around and walked away.

"I don't know what to do with you," she said frustratedly collecting her stuff and preparing to leave.

Adam hadn't given Louisa a chance to interject because he had needed to get this off his chest. Sitting around and trying to pretend that he didn't feel the way that he felt wasn't as easy as it used to be and honestly Adam was tired from the continuous effort of trying. He stopped when he heard her say she didn't know what to do with him.

"I don't know what to do either Louisa. I wish I had a switch to turn it off but I don't. I'll respect your decision either way but I think you deserve the truth from me because honestly I'm not a very good friend if I have to pretend all the time."

Just as she was about to walk away, he was talking again. "You're back." Louisa frowned half-heartedly at him. "I'm sorry that you're pretending to be my friend when you want us to be more than friends." She swallowed and looked down at her parchments, "All I need is time, okay? We can... figure things out then." She slipped her bag on her shoulder, gave him a weak smile and was the one walking down the corridor.

Adam wanted to make her understand that it wasn't something that she had to apologize for, but honestly he didn't know that there was anything that he could say that could make her see this. When she said that she just needed some time Adam gave a small nod of the head, not stopping her as she started to walk down the corridor. It had all happened so fast, like a brick hitting him in the face, but then again this was usually the way that things happened with him. Adam was an expert at letting things fester, and he had the worst timing of finally letting them spill. He stood there for a moment more before turning and walking down the other way.