THIS wasn't the best start to a Hogwarts year. NOT AT ALL. It was even worse now because this was his final year, plus the Head Boy badge he was wearing didn't seem to help his case either.

Honestly, what was Tate thinking? And how come Hadley went along with it??

Right now, Scabior was the worst Professor to ever graced the Hogwarts corridors AND the Observatory. Granted, it had only been five points. Five little points that he could make in no time, but the situation wasn't precisely helping with how he'd been feeling since he got on the train to Hogwarts.

Also, he wasn't in the mood for spending precious time with people...and the only place where he could have some quiet time was, of course, the Prefects' Bathroom. If any other Prefect stepped inside, he wouldn't mind, but this seemed the perfect place to hide stay for a while.

The Lockhart boy was extremely childish when he stepped inside, though, for his bag and outer robes were thrown into the nearest chair as the oh-so-evident frown worsened. The badge was pinned to the outer robes, by the way. That meant, he wasn't wearing it anymore. A break, apparently. And no matter how he felt he needed to be alone, he secretly wished that he had someone to talk to, even if it was Salander the one who managed to enter through the portrait he'd come from, he'll be extremely happy to see him...but he wasn't going to, he wasn't at Hogwarts anymore.

At this thought, he just...sat on the edge of that mini-pool (like Salander called it) and eyed the badge that was conspicuously glistening across the room. The badge wasn't what truly bothered him, was it?

Kurumi was in need of a break from everything and thought about going to the library, but that would only remind her that there were OWLs to be taken later in the term and she really didn't want to start panicking about those again. So, for whatever reason, Kurumi found herself outside the prefect's bathroom. How did she get here?

Shrugging, Kurumi decided that her feet and subconscious had a plan that they were leaving her out of the loop about and that it was best to not fight whatever that was. After the portrait allowed her in, Kurumi was surprised to see that Treyen was in there as well.

Just as she was about to greet him, she noticed that he looked as though someone had just kicked a cruppy in front of him and then sprayed him with pumpkin juice. You know, depressed.

"Treyen?" she asked softly, taking a few steps towards him. She should have cupcakes with her but all she had were tuna fish cookies.

Truthfully, he sensed someone walking inside, but his eyes had been all too fixed in the badge to be curious about the newcomer. He was still secretly hoping it was Salander, though. Funny how he didn't think of Lexi this time since she was the one who cheered him up way too many times last term...but Salander...Salander had lectured him.

That's probably what this particular Lockhart needed at the moment.

Only the voice that came with his name was one that was probably never going to lecture him, anyway. Kurumi. He was truly happy to see her, yet he wasn't smiling when he greeted her, "Hey, Kurumi." Yeah, he wasn't too much of himself at the moment, was he?

"How are...things?" Life in general, OWLs, Jonathan, Quidditch, house elves, anything.

And...the badge was left forgotten in those robes over the chair...it wasn't until now that he noticed his bag had never landed on the chair but on the floor. Didn't seem to bother him much.

His eyes never went to Kurumi, though. Treyen was still too upset about it all, and Kurumi didn't deserve one of those looks.

Kurumi frowned. She hadn't seen that particular look on Treyen's face for a while now and it was ALMOST more depressed looking than it had been after that entire Polyjuice mess, and she didn't like it one bit. What sort of misunderstanding had happened now? Worst part of all? Treyen wouldn't even look at her.

"Um...I'm alright. I lost Walnut again, but Jonathan helped me look for him in the broom cupboard. We ended finding a frightening spider instead." As it had turned out, Walnut had been sleeping under her bed and behind some textbooks out of Kurumi's view. The cat had taken to darker places recently. Kept Xavier from trying to pull out his fur.

But the small talk didn't fool Kurumi at all. Not even for a split second. "Treyen, what happened?"

See, she was alright. That was the best news he'd gotten today. His eyes were still not on her...but then she mentioned Walnut and a worried look appeared on his face, he almost instantly looked up. So, Walnut was not on the broom cupboard? None of them? Had they found him? Why had they looked in the broom cupboard in the first place?

After all those questions...Treyen only asked, "Where did you find him?" he assumed they had found Walnut, or Kurumi would still be extremely concerned about it, and she didn't seem to be at the moment...except...

...she picked out on how he felt, apparently.

He looked away for a moment. "What? Eh, no, nothing happened...," he could lie and try to pretend everything was fine...or...well, his eyes landed on Kurumi again as he considered the other option.

If he truly needed someone to talk to...he knew what Arya would say, and he really wasn't in the mood to hear that. His girlfriend, though, would seem like the best choice, always, but he didn't want her to see him like this. It'd be...entirely disappointing, and it'll add unnecessary concern to their time together.

So, eyes on Kurumi still. "Actually...," he didn't know where to start, "...everything happened." That was a very good way to start.

Sigh.

"I don't even deserve that badge to begin with. I'm really not cut out for the job. I wish Salander was still here, and Lexi, and Finlay, and Neptune...," and pretty much all the friends that had left that used to be the ones he looked out for when in need of advice...now, he had no idea where to go.

ALSO, "Scabior took points from me as well," clearly, he wasn't the best example to follow either. That just didn't help AT ALL.

Disappointment.

Usual Lockhart stuff.

"He was being sneaky and hiding under my bed where I couldn't see him," she sighed. Ruddy cat was always doing something. At least he had kept his wits about him and wasn't trying to sneak off into the Headmaster's office again, right? She was sure that the cat would be lunch for the Giant Squid if that were to happen.

Kurumi folded her arms across her chest. You are a terrible liar, Treyen Lockhart. But she didn't say that out loud. He probably already knew that he was. Thankfully, she didn't need to press the issue since he continued his thoughts.

The lioness listened, but couldn't help but feel that maybe she was the wrong person to be talking to about this? Would his Head of House or even the Ravenclaw be more suited to building him back up? Then again, hadn't Kurumi had this same sort of conversation when he had first received his prefect badge? The situation certainly was giving her the sense of deja vu.

"So...because Professor Scabior, the man who took points from me for being what he deemed to be a moment of me being an insufferable know-it-all, took points from you you think that you shouldn't have the badge?" she asked raising an eyebrow. It certainly seemed to be part of it. "Treyen, do you realize how little sense that makes?"

Kurumi couldn't deny that she wished those older students were still here. "Hogwarts would never been the same without them," the them meaning the seventh years that graduated last term. "But not moving forward and doing our best would be disrespecting the legacy the left for us to continue."

Kurumi then noticed that Treyen didn't have his badge and she frowned. "You were given that badge for a reason." He was being rather hypocrital right now. Did he not remember the conversation they had had in the library the previous term, the one where she had expressed her concern about being selected as a prefect?

Well, that was funny. Thaddeus had taught him not to keep anything under his bed, so it'll be easy to spot him if he ever landed in there. But...Walnut was being rather sneaky this term, Tate better locked his doors. Just in case.

So, Treyen gave her a small smile and nodded. See, he knew they'd found Walnut.

And then...Scabior took points from her for...what?! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?! That was, first a lie, then unfair. He seemed to be the one who to take points off for no apparent reason. "WHAT!?" He couldn't help himself, clearly, though he'd heard what Kurumi had said, but he was still a little shocked about it. "That's ridiculous." It was. "Clearly, he's an idiot." Wow. That felt tons better. Granted, he didn't like dissing Professors, but that simply felt good.

By the way, "That's not the reason." It was part of it, but that's not why he'd felt the weight of the badge wasn't for him. "Very few things do." Very few things were making sense. But, no, she was entirely right, he just wasn't exactly seeing it.

And the Gryffindor Prefect was right again. It wouldn't be the same. This time, however, he listened. And he was speechless. Literally, since nothing actually came out of him. His mind wasn't even functioning as he eyed Kurumi rather curiously. That last bit she said...made total sense. And he looked down as he understood that he was certainly not doing that. Trixie wouldn't be too proud of him right now, would she?

What he didn't like was that he'd made her frown. And as far as reasons go, he'd ran out of those. No comments.

Kurumi laughed, a genuine laugh which was sort of rare for these types of situations. Tense. Awkward. One person refusing to provide eye contact to the other person. Still, Treyen's outburst made her laugh and blush slightly. No hair change though, she was almost past that phase when it came to Treyen. "Last term in class...he asked if anyone knew the history of house elves at Hogwarts, and I answered." Granted, that had apparently been a rhetorical question, but Kurumi grew up in a society that didn't use sarcasm. She had an almost zero understanding of how to use it or listen to it. "Three points...my first ones ever. He did give me two back during the joint lesson with Care of Magical Creatures though." So...maybe he wasn't so bad? Kurumi still thought he was a Hit Wizard at night though. The man was far too shifty and cynical to just be a professor.

Kurumi sort of sighed. Treyen wasn't being entirely honest with her about what was bothering him and until he really gave her the entire reason why he was thinking that he was inadequate, then she really couldn't give him any solid advice. Granted, she thought he was being ridiculous, but that was beside the point. "Treyen, no one is asking you to be like Salander was as a Head Boy. You two are different people. You both bring different things to the table." Honestly, had anyone sat him down in a big plush chair and waved their finger at him demanding that he do everything that Salander had done? She doubted that, but the image of the Headmaster doing so was amusing.

O_o

She was laughing! Kurumi was laughing! That actually...was helpful since he couldn't help but smile at the sound of her laughter. That lightened the mood, considerably. However, he'd felt better just by calling Scabior 'idiot'. He probably wouldn't do to his face, though. Ever.

That might cost him his badge. So, he didn't want to lose it now? But he didn't feel like having it either? He used to be better at making up his mind.

So, what did he say to the house elf history part? Nothing, he just chuckled. "At least you got points." Which was a plus, but held no connection to how he felt.

Hold on.

He listened, eyes on her, as she mentioned Salander again. Well, that Slytherin seemed to be rather popular at the moment. She...was onto something. Treyen swallowed that little lump on his throat. Kurumi was right, in a way, or in every way, but..., "No expectations?" THAT was it. No one had ever expected him to do anything, yet he'd managed to fill those unexpected expectations rather nicely. He'd gotten 11 OWLs...and all his grandmother was able to say was something along the lines of not knowing he could be a smart kid. Nice. She'd congratulated him afterwards, but still. See? No expectations.

And...right now...whilst some expectation would be welcomed, he...just didn't want to disappoint anyone. Just like Quidditch, the first time he was on the team. With Miranda.

His eyes on Kurumi still, waiting for an answer, like an eleven year old waiting for that Hogwarts letter to arrive.

Deciding to dismiss the whole point discussion, Kurumi simply nodded. She had been shocked herself that Professor Dagger Eyes had given her points...but it made her think he was up to something. He was after all, in the mind of the young lioness, a Hit Wizard at night and clearly his lack of sleep over chasing Dark Wizards was making him super grumpy. He could also probably use a woman in his life, but she pitied the woman who would get stuck with him. She would either have to be really stubborn and strong, or under the Imperius Curse.

Kurumi was caught off guard a bit by his question. "Well...with our position there are some expectations, right? I mean, we can't go around setting things on fire because we want to or use hexes on first year," she said with a small laugh, trying to exaggerate things a bit to make him feel better. "But, you can't say that Salander was the same as the Head Boy before him." Who that had been exactly, Kurumi was a little unsure. She was pretty sure she had spoken with them once, but she hadn't known that they were Head Boy at the time. "It's the same with Vashti. She isn't Evelyn." She paused again, not really sure where her thoughts were going exactly, but they WERE going somewhere. "There are always expectations, but that doesn't mean that they are exactly the same for everyone and, well, we each go about meeting those expectations differently."

Hopefully...something in there made sense to Treyen. She really just wanted to give him cupcakes to make everything better.

Now it was his time to listen, and there was a mild frown on his face as soon as she started...only it dissipated as she went on. Plus, that small laugh was enough to bring a small smile to his face.

Yes, what Kurumi was saying made complete and total sense. It was also the same thing that he'd been doing since he was a first year himself since he wasn't one to get in trouble. Granted, Scabior had messed him up today.

'The Head Boy before him.' Before Salander. That would be Finn. AND Kurumi HAD a valid point. They hadn't been anything alike. Sort of like Treyen and Cedric hadn't be alike as Prefects. Then Kurumi mentioned Vashti and Evelyn and he chuckled, THAT was amazingly correct. For starters, Vashti didn't scare him.

So, really, Kurumi was right. Period.

"That...makes total sense," he said, standing up, "You're right." Now he was displaying a regular smile instead of a frown. Basically, what was expected from him was...to be himself, since that's what he's been doing the past years...and...he must have been doing a nice enough job too, or Tate would've skipped him. That was an expectation he could work with. It made everything tons easier than he'd thought. Also, it'd be better if he just...moved on from that point loss and simply tried to earn them back. Like he'd done with Bentley before. Instead of focusing on what had happened.

He was still not attending Scabior's lesson.

"Thanks, Kurumi," he said, before walking towards her and giving her a very quick hug, "I can deal with that." His expression had improved considerably. For the better too.

"I am?" she squeaked in surprise. "I mean...I am!" There, now she sounded a little more confident and like she had known all along the point she was trying to make instead of just rambling and trying to formulate some sort of advice out of a bunch of disjointed thoughts. She was glad that she had said something right though. Although, she really wasn't entire sure what Treyen was so down about to begin with.

Blame Professor Scary Face. Everything was always his fault.

Her eyes widened, but her hair and cheeks surprisingly didn't change their coloration at all. Kurumi was unaware of this and could only focus on how surprised she was to have him hugging him, but she awkwardly patted his back. "Well, as long as you feel better," she smiled.

*pat pat pat*

"I think...this is the first time that I have been giving you advice. You have always been the one to give it to me," she laughed, taking a small step back away from his hug. Almost empowering, somehow, in a really weird way.

Yes, Kurumi was right. She shouldn't sound too surprised, though, for she was almost always correct. Now, the second she said it made Treyen chuckled softly, "Yes, exactly." That's what he'd said...and...he was right about that one thing too.

The expectation of being himself was a relief, actually, so, yeah, he felt a lot better. "Mmhmm. I do." A LOT BETTER, considering he even had a smile on his face. Also, he didn't notice the awkwardness at all, granted, it had been a rather quick hug after all.

And he had to laugh with her this time, because that was kind of funny. "Roles changed this time, I suppose." For the better, since it only meant Kurumi was more than ready to give advice to older students...he'd known that for quite some time, though, the readiness.

But now that he was feeling better...his eyes went to the badge and his bag, "I...should probably get going," and see his girlfriend, or Arya, whoever he managed to find first. Sooooo, he went over to his bag and picked it up, before taking his outer robes from the chair. "I'll be seeing you around. And...if I find myself in need of advice...I'll come to you." Wink.

The boy was now stepping out into the corridor. His mood had improved considerably. Off to get those points back, no?

Not knowing what else to do or say other than nod, Kurumi sort of just stood there and...nodded. It was nice to know that she had managed to cheer Treyen up, even if she was still a little unsure of what exactly the initial problem had been. Wearing the Head Boy badge carried a much heavier weight than the badge she wore on her robes. It wasn't just about your house anymore, it was the entire school. Anyone would feel the pressure and freak out because of it. So, really, Treyen had nothing to be ashamed of. He was being human instead of Super Puff.

"Yeah, I need to head to the library to student anyway." For her OWLs, of course.

Kurumi followed him out and offered a small wave in the corridor before heading on her way. Maybe just a quick stop in the kitchens to whip up some simple sugar cookies first...

Instead of looking for her, Treyen had decided to send a message, and the only place he thought they wouldn't be interrupted was none other than here.

Granted, they could be interrupted, but by another Prefect or Captain. Yet he doubted someone else will be coming inside.

Treyen's mind was going through many things, words, scenes...and he just wanted Ellie to come through the portrait already. They needed to talk. But at the same time he didn't want to.

He was here, though, sitting on one of the chairs...and she could either sit next to him or wherever she wanted to. If she came, that is.

Honestly, Ellie didn't know what she was feeling. Something beyond nervous. Something beyond terrified. The longer it'd been since she left the Great Hall, the less she wanted to have this talk. The more she wanted a Time-Turner and directed her past self to the kitchens for food, rather than the Ravenclaw table. The more she actually regretted something.

She was very big on 'no regrets' and had, until now, thought she only had one regret in her life. But by now, that seemed like absolutely nothing. And she was far beyond terrified to face the consequences, whatever they may be. To face her boyfriend and his, surely beyond disappointed, face.

She even tried to come up with excuses to not come. Say she hadn't gotten the note. Claim to have suddenly fallen violently ill. At least the former felt true. She did feel sick. But alas, Ellie couldn't stop her feet once they took off for the Prefects bathroom.

Cautiously, she walked through the portrait, spotted Treyen and...loitered by the entrance, afraid to come close - that he didn't want her close - and ferociously chewed on her lip.

Part of him wanted her not to come, truth be told, that she'd suddenly decided to have another practice with the team and he'll have to stall this for another day or two, or maybe even try to forget it...but she'd came.

And she didn't come close.

"We need to talk." While his tone was soft, and it shouldn't be, his face held a serious expression that rarely made an appearance. Not because he was rarely serious, but because the expression didn't need to be there, most of the times.

The Head Boy had gestured her for stepping in a little bit closer to him, it was safe to do so.

Ellie swallowed.

Yeah, she knew they needed to talk. She knew that that was why she was here and not hiding in her dorm or behind a statue or on the pitch or broomshed or countless of other places where there was a low probability of being disturbed.

Her heart beating loudly and quickly, she slowly took a step forward. Then another. Always keeping her eyes on Treyen, waiting for him to hold a hand up, signalling to her that she shouldn't come closer. Otherwise, she intended to continue until she was just a few feet from him. And if, after that, he still thought it was a good idea to be even closer, then he could meet her. Or signal again.

But, Merlin, she was so afraid.

Okay. Well, he wasn't getting up. He didn't have the energy to do so. Everything had gone wrong today, and it was probably about to get worse, so...he'd rather keep on sitting.

If the circumstances had been others, he'd met her, and held her hand, even kiss her...but now...

"I'll start," because it seemed he had plenty of things to say, and she hadn't said a word since she entered. "You're free to take a seat, by the way." If she wanted to. This was likely to take more than a couple minutes.

The Hufflepuff breathed in and out before he actually started, mostly to gain some time. He didn't know where to begin. Plus, the fact that he didn't want to face this was one of the reasons he was having issues with finding the right words. His eyes weren't on Ellie no more. It'll be easier to focus that way. Words still failed him. "See," he'll start by giving her the explanation he owed her, "Kurumi is a great friend of mine...and when a friend needs me, I tend to answer their call whether or not they'd called on me. And what do I do? I try to help them solve their problem, or in her case face what she clearly doesn't want to accept. It's really not easy to accept the fact that one of your parents will be gone." He knew this. And right now, he was wishing his own mother could give him an advice. It wasn't the same with his stepmother, nor grandma or Kaika. It just wasn't. Yet that was something that Ellie wouldn't understand, he didn't want her to understand that part either, he just wanted her to understand why he'd been with Kurumi. "I don't know what it was you saw, but I wasn't doing anything other than being there for her, as a friend, nothing more." He had his eyes on Ellie now, "As I told you, I wanted you, just you. I don't like anyone else, Ellie." True. He didn't know WHY his eyes were set on Ellie, though, but they were.

He sighed, then leaned against the chair even more, resting his head on it.

"You know, I can't help but think this is my fault. If it weren't for what happened in the past...then you wouldn't doubt me." He didn't even know if she believed him right now, "I wish I could take it back. Because...," he swallowed, and he didn't want to keep on talking, "...because then we wouldn't be in this situation." This stuff that happened today only made him realize a few IMPORTANT things.

His eyes threatened with tears, but he wasn't going to cry. Boys didn't cry. But he was just so...disappointed, and hurt, everything hurt, that was probably why he'd decided to sit, he just felt wounded somehow.

"I--," he breathed again, "You don't trust me." As he said it, his eyes were back on her, and yes, if you were looking into his eyes then you'd understand just how much that hurt, "And all I've said is the truth." Okay, so, he couldn't help it, his eyes were watering but he now had his palms pressed to them. No tears. "It hurts. A lot. To know that you don't trust me, that you decided not to believe in everything I've said when I have meant it. Always." The one time she could say he'd lied was when he said he didn't know why he'd kissed Kurumi!Sierra, and it was only because she'd wanted him to say he wanted to kiss her.

It was in the past. She had forgiven him, right? Apparently not.

Palms down, because he became a bit angry now, "The worst part of it," yes, because this was something he'd noticed based on how she reacted, "You didn't seem upset about possibly losing me, but on getting hurt again." So, how much did she actually care about him? As far as he was concerned...not much. THAT was the worst feeling of all, especially since he loved her.

"Kurumi didn't deserve this either." EITHER. Because he didn't deserve this, okay?

Again, he took his eyes away from her, and they moved to that mermaid on the window. "I don't see us together if you can't trust me." That was his conclusion. A very good one too. And he needed Moretti now, because his heart couldn't shatter into more pieces.

She could take a seat. And Ellie took that pause before he dove into his explanation as him waiting for her to do so. So…she glanced at the seat beside Treyen and…sat on the floor. Right where she was. But she didn’t dare take her eyes off him. Any moment he would explode, right?

Not quite. But the girl sat and listened. She had absolutely no plans to interrupt. Not even if he asked a question or paused or expected her to. She was going to wait until she was fully confident he wanted her opinion to speak. Treyen should probably take his time, it didn’t seem like her voice wanted to work at the moment.

Yes, he helped his friends. That was all very good. And she knew that. Had she not sought him, time and time again, when she was upset? His utter kindness and uncanny ability to make you feel better, even if it wasn’t with his words, was just some of the many things Ellie loved about him.

And no kidding it wasn’t easy to accept. She couldn’t even process the thought fully. She knew she had NO idea what Kurumi was going through. And she knew that, had she known that, her behavior would have been much different. Actually, her behavior should have been anything but what it was, regardless of what she did or did not know. She knew that much. She’d only reacted without thinking, and her thoughts came way too late. How stupidly Gryffindor of her.

Ellie wasn’t sure what she saw, either. Not anymore. It all seemed very muddled. But the ‘wanted’ caught her ear’s attention. Perhaps more than it should have. Should she be worried by that? The past tense? Drawing from experience with Treyen, they were quite particular about tenses. He knew she was particular about tenses. But was it just a simple slip of the tongue? The Ravenclaw dropped her gaze to her lap, where she found her hands were playing with the hem of her robes, without her knowledge.

Treyen sighed. Ellie flinched.

That….that….might not be true. She was very close to verbally disagreeing as soon as that sentence was out of his mouth. Besides the fact that she didn’t want to place any blame on him ever, Ellie was quite certain that regardless of what happened in the past, she’d still be as afraid as ever of losing him, and perhaps no matter what, she’d have acted the exact same way. Though the fact that she’d seen Treyen with Kurumi might have added fuel to the fire. But she stood by her initial agreement with herself; she wasn’t going to interrupt.

‘Because then we wouldn’t be in this situation.’ This awkward situation, right, Treyen? That was what he meant? The fact that she felt she couldn’t face him? That he was going to reprimand her and it would hurt worse than any scolding in her life.

Come to think of it, where was the reprimanding?

Her blue eyes shot back up at him. THAT of all things wasn’t true. She trusted him. She knew that from the sense of betrayal she had felt earlier in the day. The lip biting ceased because her mouth was now hanging open slightly, and she was shaking her head. Not in an over-exaggerated manner, but in one that suggested she was shaking her head more for her sake than his. Yet it was entirely for his sake. Because he was WRONG. Ellie unfolded her legs and rocked to her knees, wanting to shuffle up to him and comfort him and take his hand. But again, she wasn’t sure if that was what he wanted. And she didn’t want to do anything Treyen didn’t want her to do.

Her own tears were falling. Partially from his words and partially from the restrained feeling she had. Did he SEE her head shake? She DID trust him! He needed to stop saying otherwise. He needed to believe her.

The worst part? Yeah, she broke that ‘no interruptions’ policy right there. ”NO!” If Ellie had ever shouted unnecessarily in her life, it was then. She shuffled on her knees toward him and folded her arms on his lap. ”I’m terrified of being hurt again. But something so much more than that at the thought of losing you.” She hoped to Merlin that Treyen didn’t take that in any way that would be WRONG. Sniff.

She’d meant to continue, but he was speaking and she thought it was probably most wise to shut up again.

He was speaking about Kurumi. After he’d said something like that? Sorry, but she didn’t want to talk about Kurumi right now. But Ellie knew that Kurumi was a very important subject in this conversation. So she abandoned her kneeling position and fell back into the crossed legs one from before. Consequently, she Treyen now had his personal space back. ”I know.” Kurumi deserved nothing but…helpful people at this time. And Ellie had been anything but helpful. She was SUCH a TERRIBLE, AWFUL person.

Ouch. Not only was Ellie sniffling and crying, but coughs were added into the mix, as if she really was going to be physically sick. And…well she didn’t even know why. Was she jumping to conclusions after hearing that? Did it matter? Were those conclusions right? Was what she thought about the past tensed ‘wanted’ Treyen had spoken earlier, correct?

Once the hacking subsided, which didn’t take too long, as every cough caused a pounding in her head and she’d very much like it to stop, she was able to control it. Ellie hugged herself and looked at her lap, breathing heavily, as she waited for him to continue.

He didn’t. She must be on the right track with her conclusions.

When he didn’t, she took the opportunity to speak up. ”I do trust you, Treyen,” she looked up at him. ”You said you loved me?” Was that still true? ”And I think you’re mad for it. And I’m so afraid that you’re going to realize how much better you can do.” Better than her. Sniff. ”And I saw you, there with Kurumi, in such close proximity, and I thought…you finally had. You’d come to your senses. Moved onto someone…nicer, smarter, more agreeable.” Because basically, Kurumi was all around better than Ellie was.

”You’ve no idea how much you mean to me. And the fact that you can have anyone, that I can lose you,” because, yes, she would be incredibly upset to ever lose him. She was upset to be losing him now, ”to anyone…” Ellie paused a minute to sniffle some more. ”I was….inexcusably rude and mean,” Whatever he had said she was. ”But I…” Now was NOT the time for her to be unable to explain herself. ”I got upset….I thought I was losing you…”

If this was him breaking up with her….could he SEE how upset she was?

Seriously? On the floor? There were plenty of other places for her to sit, yet she chose the one option that was...safe? Safe because she knew it was a relatively good distance from him? He didn't mind her closeness, but he didn't voice it either.

It was surprising, to say the least, how quiet she remained as he spoke. For a moment there she had him thinking that she truly didn't care enough to be upset about what happened. Nor about what he was saying. It only hurt more. Her silence. Because she wasn't trying to disagree with him, or arguing in any way.

Ellie was either too okay about this...or extremely terrified to make a sound.

And she still wasn't saying anything? So, he could tell her they were over and she'll accept it? Just like that? His heart was racing too fast as he waited for her to react to his words...

...he was relieved when she started to shake her head, and the sudden exclamation of a single 'NO' relieved him ever more. He still listened to whatever it was she had to say before making up his mind. Though, his mind was already set at the sight of tears. He was feeling even worse, if possible, for allowing the tears to appear. Especially on her face. He hated himself for that. Girls shouldn't cry. Ever.

Wait, what? So, she was terrified of being hurt again...but more than terrified to lose him?

Treyen felt the sudden need to hold her, but...,"Didn't seem that way," he managed to say, looking down. It hadn't appeared as if not having him was what she was most concerned about back then. Really.

At least she knew what she did was wrong. Beyond wrong. Only she'll have to apologize to the one person that probably wouldn't accept her apology. Not that he could blame her, Ellie hadn't been the nicest person to Kurumi lately.

Okay. Now he'd done it. Treyen was close to breaking Ellie again, but it was true. If she had no trust in him, if she didn't believe he only wanted her...then they couldn't be together anymore, because it wouldn't be fair to her, to live in a constant wonder of whether her boyfriend was chasing other girls or not. It couldn't be fair. He just needed to take himself out of that equation, right? Never mind how much it'll hurt.

It was his time to shake his head. She didn't trust him, otherwise none of this would've happened. He failed to comment...mainly because what she was saying...was something he didn't even know she'd thought about. And he frowned, confused. Why did she think so little of herself? So, yes, she'd made a few mistakes in regards to some people Treyen knew...but he knew she was one of the nicest Ravenclaws around. No girlfriend of his could ever be mean.

Again, what happened with Kurumi was...a series of very unfortunate events, all happening at the same time.

Once he thought she was over, the Head Boy joined her on the floor, it was the hardest thing ever, by the way, because for some reason he felt physically exhausted, but he managed. His voice remained soft when he spoke, "Had you trusted me, Ellie, you wouldn't have come between me and Kurumi." At least not with that intensity.

There was something that worried him, though, and it had nothing to do with what happened today. "Why wasn't I aware of this?" of the fact that she was afraid of him finding out he liked someone else. It was kind of the other way around, he was expecting her to find someone else she could discuss Quidditch as freely as possible.

Eyes on Ellie, "I do love you," he started to say as he tried his best to remove all traces of tears from her cheeks, one of his hands still remained on the side of her face, "On countless occasions you've mended my heart, I think it'd be rather difficult to leave the one person who can fix me." She was the one that helped him in the past. He stroked her cheek as he looked into her eyes, the smallest of smiles making its way to his lips, "You made everything extremely hard for me today."

True. This day had been the worst one of the school year so far.

”Didn’t seem that way?” Was he even serious? ”That I thought I’d lost you and…and acted foolishly because of it?” Actually, upon reflection, she was pretty sure she acted upset. So whatever Treyen was talking about seemed completely invalid. ”However it seemed…I…thought I’d lost you…. Again.” To the same girl that tore them apart before. Ellie wasn’t blaming Kurumi, though, in any way, because she knew the Gryffindor had nothing to do with either of these cases. She was just like…a common factor.

HE was being quite quiet now. When he shook his head, she squinted her eyes in confusion. Because she wasn’t sure why he was doing so. But he’d explain.

And when he didn’t, Ellie kept her mouth shut. If he didn’t want to say anything…she wasn’t going to.

Her entire body stiffened when Treyen joined her, and she decided to watch him without directly looking at him. She couldn’t explain why she felt this way, but for whatever reason she was afraid her gaze would evoke more horrible things to be said.

And her stomach sunk again. She could see how he’d think that. And it sounded completely logical. But she didn’t feel like that was the correct explanation for her actions. But she couldn’t defend herself. She just didn’t know how to articulate what she felt. ”I didn’t mean it like that, I swear.” She didn’t know how she meant it, though. ”I’m so sorry.” She lifted her blurry, bloodshot, still tearing eyes up to him. So. Sorry.

Sniff.

Ellie shrugged. Again, she wasn’t sure which words to use to explain herself. It was extremely frustrating. Maybe she should think about picking up a book every once in a while. Expand her vocabulary. ”I guess…I didn’t want to say anything that would…spark the thought. To plant the idea.” And have him believe it himself. That he actually could do better. She wanted him to stay with her. Even if it was selfish to say or think. Even if she did want him to be happy no matter what. She desperately wanted him to be happy with her. Because she sincerely believed she would only be happy with him.

She stiffened again at his touch. Just only for a moment. Quickly she relaxed because the feeling was so familiar and comfortable.

That didn’t last long either.

‘You made it extremely hard for me today.’ Ellie bowed her head, sobbing again. ”I’m such a monster.” It was true. She was beyond a horrible person. She couldn’t even be considered a ‘person’ anymore.

No, not exactly. "No, that the thought of losing me was what got you to act foolishly." At least he was agreeing with the way she'd acted. Treyen wasn't sure if the word 'foolishly' was the right one, but considering he was at a loss of coming up with words, then he'd use the same one she had.

If he was being honest, as he always had, "You almost did," lose him, "But for entirely different reasons." Because of her actions, and how unreasonable she'd been. Granted, it's not like they were given a lot of time to sort it all out. It only took a few minutes before Kurumi's eyes turned to black. That's when he got worried. Not just for Kurumi, but for Ellie as well. He's met Mr. Hollingberry, and knows how loud the man can get, that same thing runs through Kurumi's blood. So, he only wanted to avoid something that would've been impossible to fix. Something they'll all regret.

The Head Boy nodded when she apologized, "It's not me you have to apologize to, you know?" She well knew, but he was still going to accept it, somehow. "It's okay, Ellie." He said, and kissed her forehead. Really, what she'd thought of him at the time, he didn't know, but he supposed he could forgive her for that too. People make mistakes.

Oh.

Plant the idea? But...well, he wouldn't disagree this time, however, now that he knew how she felt...he still wasn't thinking there was someone better for him. His eyes were still on her, and they probably weren't going to turn away from her either. "I'm not leaving you. Unless you want me to." That was what she needed to decide.

But first..., "Please, don't." Don't say that. "You didn't know better." She wasn't a monster. Ellie was too far from that. Treyen searched for her hand, it was up to her if she wanted him to hold it or not. He'll give her that choice.

There was another choice she was going to be making. Why her? Because she was the one that suffered the most on a daily basis, apparently, "Ellie," this is where his heart started to race again, "I don't want you to keep on wondering whether or not I'm seeing other girls. I only want you. I don't want you to doubt anything that I say. I'll speak the truth, you know this, and you also know that I don't care if it gets me in trouble or not." Hence why he lost a great deal of points a while ago. "I'd hate to know that when you're with me, you'll be thinking if there's someone else I'd rather be with. The answer is you." Treyen knew this, of course. "We can't be together if you don't believe you're the only girl on my mind." And she was. Well, her grandmother and sister didn't count. So, yeah, she was the only one.

"I still want you. You're the one that holds the choice of keeping me as your boyfriend or not." She was the one who should decide. He already knew what he wanted, but he didn't want her to feel this way.

He'd confused her again. Was there a difference? If losing him ultimately ended it him being lost? Both thoughts were hardly bearable. ...Whatever. She didn't want to lose him, she thought she had, she overreacted. End of story.

Treyen really wasn't making her feel any better right now. The last time she'd gotten so close to losing him...Well, she had. And this time was exponentially worse. In so many ways. And you know what? Ellie really didn't want to know the reasons she almost lost him, whatever they may be. Something that happened today. But she'd already promised herself to NEVER overreact the same way again. Or overreact ever again. Period.

Right. She had to apologize to Kurumi. That's not going to go very well. Ellie was dreading this, actually. The two of them just shouldn't interact at all. Neither liked the other much anyway. She nodded. She'll give Kurumi some...time first. And it will just be an apology from Ellie. That's all the conversation should consist of. An apology that probably wouldn't be accepted, no matter how sincere.

It didn't matter. Kurumi didn't have to accept. Ellie was okay with that. Hopefully Treyen wouldn't hold Kurumi's response over the Ravenclaw.

He kissed her! It felt weird. As if it were something new and unexpected. Because she really thought Treyen would hate her for a while longer before kissing her again....or taking her hand. Which she clasped between her two hands, as if it was a firefly that could fly away. She didn't want his hand to go away. Ellie slid on the bathroom floor until she couldn't get any closer to her boyfriend, and hugged his arm.

She was a monster, though. She did know better than to freak out as she did. But again, she didn't say anything.

Ellie listened most intently as he went on. Yes, she KNEW he only told the truth. She trusted him, remember. And she was full aware that he was willing to get himself into trouble for stating his opinion. Wasn't that what she wanted, though? What she's told him many times before? That if that was what he thought, he should say it, no matter what? Yes, she was pretty sure she'd said that at least once or twice.

Her sporadic sniffling increased. It wasn't that she thought that he thought he'd rather be with someone when they were together. Not necessarily. It was whenever she'd made him mad or upset in some way, done something to cause them to fight, that she thought he'd rather not be with her. That he'd rather be with someone who wouldn't fight with him. Someone agreeable or less stubborn or something.

More tears pushed themselves out of her eyes. "I don't want us to breakup." So, yes, she wanted to keep him. She wanted him.