Selina heard bells go off in her ears. Her stomach peformed acrobatics and landed in a hard thud. Here eyes whitened out for a moment and she felt flat out sick. She had always known that the two might have had something, but hearing the reality of the situation was painful. It hurt her deeply because now she realized just how alone she was. True, she had many friends and family. True, she was smart and talented at somethings, potions excluded. True, she was lucky with everyone who chose to be in her life. But Selina was alone. She was only twelve and yet she had never felt so old and alone. She never knew what she had expected from Simon. Nothing really she suppossed because she was only twelve. Yet now that she was faced with the reality of how no boy had ever liked her, besides a small werewolf who had disappeared, Selina was trying hard not to look upset.

"Oh," she said faintly looking at the ground, "Well you are a, um, beautiful girl Kyle. I wouldn't count yourself out. You never know how he is feeling from the situation. He may just be trying to sort out his feelings."

To herself she whispered, "I mean why wouldn't he like you? You are practically perfect."

"Nice to meet you!" said Ness already knowing Rosmary's name as she overheard her and Zara speak earlier. "I'm Renesmee, but you can call me Ness or Nessie for short" she smiled then carried on hoping with them.

Oakey came back to the Courtyard. As he had forgotten his Homework Parchment. He really needed to remember not to forget that, anyone could up and take his hard work and claim it for themselves. Well not this particular parchment it just had a list of things he had to do for DADA. He grabbed it off the bench and saw that Isobel sitting on the ground of the courtyard. HI ISOBEL! Oakey called out.

Isobel looked away from Luke when she heard her name. She grinned when she saw it was Oakey. "Hey Oakey," she said with a smile. She motioned him over and pointed to Luke. "Oakey, this is Luke. Luke, this is Oakey."

Kyle smiled softly over to Selina, the little look of panic on her face wasn't unnoticed in the least, she did notice it and she wanted to hug her hug her so hard she would know she wasn't alone.

"I yeah, well - what?" Ah how funny did she sound when she realized Selina had said why wouldn't he like you.

"Hun, I just - I'm the new girl...and for me the last and only guy I ever went really on a date with, was...well...horrible, you know, I know he's not that way" but Kyle was the type of girl who wasn't sure of her emotions sometimes. All the time really. "I'm just one of those girls you know, who isn't sure what they think...its a huge fault" she admitted sheepishly.

"So, whats with you? Anything new? Speaking of which you never told me if you liked anyone here, so do you?" She was trying to make small talk as Kyle always seemed to do - in awkward moments that she didn't know were going to get awkward...until too late really. She smiled over to Selina, softly, kindly, even if anything got imbetween them, she'd try and keep a friendship going with the little Gryffindor.

Hi there Oakey said putting his hand out to shake his. It's nice to meet you. Oakey stood there for a moment feeling awkward. As if he intruded on something. He broke the silence again. Isobel why are you sitting?

This was the hardest thing she had ever had to listen to because Kyle was wonderful. She knew that with every fiber in her being that Kyle was great and so did everyone else- so did Simon. Why was she so hurt then?? The emotions of a twelve year old could not be contained or controlled for sure, it was just so hard.

"Look Kyle," she started taking in a deep breath to say what she needed to say, "you cannot let the past define the future of someone you really like. If you go into this with a clouded judgement or preconceived notions that it won't work, it will never work. Besides you have to know how smart, fun, and entertaining you are. Don't doubt yourself, it isn't cute. Embrace the person everyone likes."

When she asked about Selina's crush Selina's blood ran cold, "No one... it isn't important anyway..."

Kyle didn't know of course how hurt the young Selina really was - she truly was a love detective or so she thought in that moment she knew exactly what to say to build someones confidence up while at the same time tearing her own heart out. But Kyle didn't have an inkling right then of the pain Selina was going through maybe later, maybe someday she would know. But not now, she didn't know Selina liked Simon. That would have stopped her from saying the next bit - well, maybe not maybe it was the bit after the next bit?

"You know, Selina you are a really sweetheart," Kyle smiled softly over to her, brushing her hand over her sweater as she attempted to smooth it down. "and you will find someone who loves you maybe tomorrow or the next day even" she smiled softly. "So, is there anyone you like - unless thats too awkward and all?" Kyle smiled sheepishly.

She wasn't digging no, she was going to help the girl find the boy of her high school dreams. Or so she thought - awe the innocent naivety that was Kyle.

Selina's shadows nodded in all of the right places where Kyle paused to make her point. It registered with her what Kyle was trying to say, but the boy of her Hogwarts dreams, the whole High School concept was foreign to her but let that pass, was a boy who was unattainable. He was so out of reach because HE would never be interested in her, SHE, as in Kyle, would never be giving her the help if she knew who the boy was, and IT was not possible for a girl of twelve to even have a chance with a seventeen year old man.

"Look Kyle," Selina started again. Every time she started that phrase seemed to find the strength to say what was necessary, "I'm not... looking for any type of relationship right now. It will distract me from what is important and besides the boy who I like is wrong for me. Really wrong for me... like you have no idea. But it's like... it's like he is my knight in shinning armor. Except I am not the princess in the tower, no I am the trusty steed. We don't get happy endings. And I'm not looking for sympathy... it's just the facts."

Even if her heart was breaking.

Having taken a quick trip up to the Owlery before heading back down to the courtyard feeling even more confused than she had when she had left the Room of Requirement.

Why was he doing this to her? Why after 6 months of writing him every week had he JUST not written her? Her insides were fuming. If his parents hated the wizarding world so much, then he should have just sent the letter by regular post. It would have found its way into owl hands eventually she was sure. There had to be wizards working in non-magical post offices.

Adam's words and stung her in a way she didn't think they would. She thought she would have been overjoyed to finally hear from him. But...the truth was...she felt even worse. She felt even more empty and alone. It was either she gave up and tried to move on or she waited in pain for four years. Waiting was the worst. Waiting for a day that she didn't know would actually come...

"How am I suppose to do this," she sobbed collapsing to her knees in a secluded corner of the courtyard far away from prying eyes. "What do you mean by you were uncomfortable with being too close..." None of it made sense and she took the letter out of her robe's pocket and set it on her knees. She almost fell onto her side.

The pain was too much...

Connor ran into the courtyard looking frantic his messy hair was even more messy than usual. His makeup ad run off while he was running around the castle looking for her. He had looked everywhere but the grounds for her. "KURUMI!" he called for her again, his voice beginning to crack but he didn't care. If only he could find her he didn't care if he lost his voice to the point where he could never sing again. He ran around like a madman looking for her then he saw her kneeling at the corner of the courtyard, and she was crying. That tore him apart even worse inside. He walked up behind her and knelt, reaching his arms around her to hold her close. He loved her and he wanted to help her.

Kurumi's tears caught in her throat when she felt warm and familiar arms wrapped themselves around her like a warm blanket on a cold winter's day. Kurumi's hadn't even heard whoever's arms were around her calling her name.

She felt empty.

The letter she had been clutching in her hands fluttered to the ground and landed next to her and she reached her arms up and gripped the strong ones that were holding her now.

She wanted to forget...just forget...

Connor held her tight with one arm and picked up the letter and read it. The couldn't find an owl? That was a laugh, the sky was full of them. The good stuff outweighed the bad he did? Well judging by the state of Kurumi the guy better have a miracle up his sleeve to outweigh this wrong. He held her tighter. "It's ok Kurumi, you've been hurt, I know It's ok to cry." He soothed as he looked back at the letter.

WHAT? He didn't want to be too close to her but he wanted her love? Bit of a double standard wasn't it? Bit much to ask of someone too when the one you loved was half a world away. He sighed and read on. He can't live without her? He can't stay away or he will go mad? He is going mad? Geez what a prat. "Why did you leave her in the first place then mate?" He whispered. He read the rest of the letter with disgust and set it back down, then crawled around Kurumi and knelt in front of her to give her a proper hug and he smoothed her hair back from her forehead. "I'm so sorry Kurumi. I'm here for you, I want you to know that." He looked into her violet eyes and then held her again. It seemed to him that is what she might need the most. Just someone to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be all right.

Kurumi wasn't all that surprised when she saw that it was Connor who had been the one to find her in the state she was now. She didn't really want him to see her like this though. All broken and an emotional wreck over Adam. She felt almost haunted by the memory of him. She both wanted his spirit to continue to haunt her and leave her be at the same time.

"Connor," she whispered as her body went limp in his arms. She no longer had the strength to support herself upright. She needed someone else to do that right now.

She stayed that way for a few moments, or perhaps it was minutes, or perhaps even an hour passed. Kurumi didn't stop to think about that. She was just trying to find herself in a place where she felt, well, like herself. She saw a tiny glimmer of who she had once been before coming to Hogwarts, but that wasn't her now. Then there was the slightly different girl she had become over the past two years with Adam. But...she wasn't that girl anymore either. Now, after these long 6 months of being apart, she finally saw that.

Suddenly, she began to giggle softly into Connor's chest. "L-L-Look at me," she said smiling through her tears and sitting upright a bit. "How silly am I to have waited for this long...six months...for this letter...and I expected it to make me feel better..."

She really felt like an idiot and her somewhat insane laughter probably made her look even more so.

"That's not so silly Kurumi. I understand." He knew heartache, knew it well. He smiled as she giggled. it was nice to hear her laugh a little. He gave her a hug and then sat back on his booted heels. He feathered her hair back. "I know I've been a jerk lately and I hope that you can forgive me. I really care about you and I've been letting my feelings run away with me." He whispered. "I made you a promise and I broke it, and I am so sorry." He apologized to her.

He sat back again and looked into her eyes, waiting for her response.

Kurumi's eyes widened at his touch and her violet pools became somewhat lost in his blue ones. She...hadn't been expecting him to apologize. Swallowing nervously, she slowly reached for the hand that was softly touching her hair and she brought it down to his lap, but did not remove her hand from his.
"Connor," she said quietly turning her gaze down for a moment. "Thank you...for understanding..." She didn't feel that she should address that matter much further. He seemed to have realized that he had been making her uncomfortable.

She shifted her gaze back up to look him in the eye and noticed that he had the letter from Adam in his other hand. Her cheeks flushed and she snatched it from his grip. "Y-Y-You read it then..." she stammered as the tips of her hair began turning pink. So he knew...Kurumi suddenly felt ashamed and wanted to go hide under a rock or a bush somewhere. "So...so...you know...." she paused as tears threatened to break free once more.

"I just want to stand on my own right now...not rely on someone else," she finally said after a few moments. She looked straight into Connor's eyes and offered him as brave a smile as she could given the situation. "I...I don't know when I will want to..." she couldn't bring herself to finish the thought. "I just need friendship right now. Someone that I can confide in...I...I that won't satisfy you...but...it's what I need right now..." She hung her head in embarrassment and her cheeks flushed.

Then, she wasn't sure what came over her, but she suddenly felt the urge return Connor's gifts of music with a modest one of her own and, before she realized it, she was singing the song she had been working on translating.

Connor looked down at their hands. He felt somewhat disappointed that she wouldn't let him show her love the way he wanted to, but he was happy that she wanted him to touch her. He just held her hand there wanting her to be comfortable with him.

He saw her gaze go to the letter in his hand. "Yes, I read it." He replied honestly. he hoped she wasn't mad. "I know Kurumi."He didn't say anymore, he didn't want to hurt her with his personal feelings about the letter. He listened to her words and Sighed sadly. he knew she wasn't ready yet for the kind of love he wanted to give her and that hurt him terribly, but he loved her and loving someone meant staying with them no matter what. maybe if he gave her the kind of love she needed now then she just might love him the way he did her in return someday. "Kurumi I am always going to be here for you, you can tell me anything."

When she began to sing to him he looked into her eyes and when the song was over he had to squeeze her hand slightly to keep from touching her face the way he wanted to. "Kurumi I know what it feels like to be lonely, to wonder where home is and I know what it's like to love someone half a world away. I've been there. In some ways I am still there." he whispered.

Kurumi's cheeks flushed, surprised that she had suddenly sang to him and she turned her gaze downwards for a moment before pulling her hand away slowly so that she could hug her knees to her chest and rest her chin on them.

"...thank you..." she managed to whisper through a weak smile. He really had no idea how much it meant to her that he was being patient. But she didn't want to be holding him back either. How could a thirteen year old possibly begin to understand the inner workings of a sixteen year old. She laughed softly as she wondered how he was able to put up with her and her naive personality and severe lack of knowledge about the world.

Then again, maybe that was part of the charm. Like her and Adam had been opposites, but one in the same in many ways, so too were here and Connor.

She frowned when Connor spoke about being lonely and a meek smile tickled the edges of her lips as she pushed herself up off the ground, walked a bit closer to him, and then knelt down beside him.

Her tears had mostly dried for now and she felt a bit relieved to have been able to let it all out. She was even more so knowing that she had made a decision that was best for her and that she could stop looking back and start looking forward.

"You shouldn't feel lonely anymore, you know," she said showing him her profile as she looked off into the distance. "There are lots of people who care about you here, and you have Mizuki-san, Mr. Kaishu, and...in his own strange way, my father." She turned to face him. "You have me too."

She felt her heart skip a beat for a moment and she acted before she realized what she was doing. Quickly, she leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek. Lingering there for only a moment, Kurumi pulled back, cheeks flushed, hair a slight magenta tinge, and jumped back to her feet as she began running her fingers nervously through her hair.

"H-H-H-How about we g-g-g-go back inside? Dinner should be served soon in the Great Hall..."

Quote:

Originally Posted by fanficfanatict

Selina's shadows nodded in all of the right places where Kyle paused to make her point. It registered with her what Kyle was trying to say, but the boy of her Hogwarts dreams, the whole High School concept was foreign to her but let that pass, was a boy who was unattainable. He was so out of reach because HE would never be interested in her, SHE, as in Kyle, would never be giving her the help if she knew who the boy was, and IT was not possible for a girl of twelve to even have a chance with a seventeen year old man.

"Look Kyle," Selina started again. Every time she started that phrase seemed to find the strength to say what was necessary, "I'm not... looking for any type of relationship right now. It will distract me from what is important and besides the boy who I like is wrong for me. Really wrong for me... like you have no idea. But it's like... it's like he is my knight in shinning armor. Except I am not the princess in the tower, no I am the trusty steed. We don't get happy endings. And I'm not looking for sympathy... it's just the facts."

Even if her heart was breaking.

When Selina spoke Kyle nodded, listening she of course didn't know what was going through Selina's head and heart but if she did she would probably have told her about how she used to have a thing for a twenty or so year old Professor at Beauxbatons who was absolutely smashing looking...like a regular knight in shining armor himself - well then again he wore shinning armor one day.

She flushed just thinking of Professor Jean Paul Chevalier. Yes his last name litterally meant Knight - he was the absolutely gorgeous blue eye, tan, absolutely dreamy blond-haired Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor and Kyle was his worst student....she couldn't make a spell stick if her life depended on it. Come to think of it, Professor Chevalier looked a lot like an older Simon...a lot, a lot. Slightly more of a blush creeped up her cheeks and then disappeared as quickly as she had forced it to.

"Well, I get that, you don't want the distraction...I get that I really do" and as she said the boy she liked was wrong for her, and that he was her knight in shining armor, Kyle couldn't help but give her a soft kind smile.

Why was she so nice - it probably made it hard to hate her?

"Well, if you ever want to tell me about him you can, I think I'll get it really - I've liked people who were wrong for me in the past" she admitted her tone soft almost transparent at that moment. "And if you ever just want say a hug, you can always ask me, I'm more than willing" really she was. She was like a depository for hugs she'd give them out willy nilly if people wore free hugs shirts they would be hugged and hugged and hugged until they wanted to take the Free Hugs shirt off for all eternity.

Rosemary smiled warmly as she kept in time with Zara.

Selina had to turn away for a moment. Her tears were starting to build up in the corner of her eye and she never cried. She made a habit of never crying and only ever broke that rule when Jacob had knocked her off her broom and Simon had saved her. Simon. Now Selina did really want to cry. Why was she so pathetic? Why was she such a girl? Hadn't her father always told her to suck it up? That emotions, especially on the field, were harmful. He said that the field and the outside life were two different things. Here she was combining them. It was her fault that this had happened. If she had just been smart enough to keep them separate than she would have avoided the pain. So she sucked up her tears breathed deeply.

"I-I'm fine. I just, um, needed a moment."

She looked at Kyle who so desperately wanted to give her a hug and thought to herself, she would hate her if she knew that Simon was the boy.

"Kyle, you deserve a happy ending."

When Selina turned away Kyle couldn't help but feel the pang in her chest that she always felt when someone, anyone especially someone she considered a friend - or something close to a sister - well, she wanted to give her a hug even more now. "I get, that, take your time - and Selina you deserve a happy ending we all do everyone in this whole world deserves one" even if no one ever really got them, she just hoped that they would.

"So, Selina um...can I - give you a hug?" She offered quietly, kindly, it was what Kyle did. Offered Hugs.

Now she had Kyle feeling bad for her, she really was pathetic. Slowly Selina could feel her tough reputation crumbling in this one moment of being vulnerable. People would never see her as strong ever again. She did not want that, because in almost every way she was strong and courageous. Why was she ruining this now? She wanted to throw something. Finding a brave face she said, "I don't need time. I know where I stand and I'm okay with that. Just its a little sad somedays."

When Kyle asked for a hug Selina replied, "Okay."

She really did want one.

Kyle nodded even though the fact that Selina had just changed her mind about needing time did somewhat confuse her. She still just grinned and bared what her friend was saying. Was she just trying to save her reputation as one of Gryffindor's bravest? If so. That wouldn't be changed in her book for needing time.

Not at all.

When she said she was okay with a hug, Kyle felt herself begin to smile. "Alright" she smiled, taking a step closer to the younger girl she quickly, and quite strongly wrapped her arms around her in what some might call a boa-constrictor like hug...except she could still breath, it was just warm, cozy, and showed someone that you really really cared.

"And Sely, don't worry I'll always vouch for your braveness" Kyle smiled softly.

Not this again. She could tell Oakey she had been sitting, but...not Luke. How would that work? "Um, the ground was warm," she told Oakey. Luke couldn't use that to prove she had been sitting. "So, what brings you out here Oakey?" She felt like she was going in a circle.