The big. Fat. Question.

The elephant in the room.

The thing he should have addressed a long time ago.

"After the party...after the things that were said...with everything going on...with the wards failing and the muggles getting into the school..." He shook his head slightly, drawing his hand back through his hair. "I can't leave when all of that is going on. Be half way around the world if something happens." ITF it was as random as a raindrop where he would end up. At least with the Aurorship he knew where he would be. And it would be close. Close enough.

"I should have told you earlier." He knew that, beyond belief. "I just...wanted to wait until I knew what was final and what wasn't." Truth, but probably a poor reason.

His eyes went to her hands smoothing out the paper, his voice hesitant. "You're upset with me..."

She continued to take her time smoothing out the paper while listening to him explain his reasons for choosing aurorship instead of ITF. Each event that he mentioned replayed like a silent movie in her mind as his words sunk in, and she couldn't help but feel like he WAS staying, at least partly, because of her.

A painful knot twisted in her gut at his last statement, her head turning so that her eyes settled on him. She shook her head slowly. "I'm not upset. I just... I know you want to stay behind in case something happens, in case we need you here. But I told you I didn't want you to factor me in when choosing your career." Arya hated that she couldn't just be excited for him, proud that he'd gotten into such a prestigious program, but she couldn't shake the painful feeling that he was settling just for her.

Sabel just stared at her. He wasn't sure if he felt like he had been slapped or dropped onto cement face first.

His hands slowly began rubbing together, the nervousness setting them to shake a good deal. "You are a significant part of my life Arya." Did he need to tell her again that he loved her? That he would do anything for her? Go anywhere, be anyone for her? But he had promised. Promised he wouldn't say those words, not until she was ready. If that was ever.

"I can't just...not consider you when making decisions." Drawing one hand back through his hair he let out a shaky breath. "I made the decision based on what I thought was best. I wanted Aurorship almost as much as ITF. Circumstance dictated the former." That was it, that was all.

Except...

Slowly, reluctantly, his eyes turned to her, afraid of the answer. "Should...I stop factoring you in?" Did she want him to part on his own life, completely apart from her?

She let her eyes drop back to the letter, chewing nervously on her bottom lip as she considered his words and the meaning behind them. "I... I don't know" Really, she didn't know. "Not because I don't want to be with you, but because..." She wasn't worth it? "Because I don't want you to have any regrets," she shook her head. "Not because of me."

Frown deepening, her hands returned to the letter, folding it carefully. "If you really wanted this, and not just cause of me, then I'm happy for you." Even if it didn't show, she was happy that he got what he wanted. "Its a really good program... I know you'll do great." Glancing back up at him, she let a weak smile flicker across her face.

The knot in his stomach twisted and turned, rose and expanded until it was wrapped about his chest, constricting it. He could feel the burn of tears at the corners of his eyes, and had to turn his vision forward, resting his elbows on the table and running his hands over his face.

For a long moment he was silent. For a long moment he stared at nothing, hands tented over his lips. Then, as if something had snapped, a quiet laughter escaped him. He wished beyond anything he could swallow it, but there was no hope of that as his shoulders shook with it; pained, hollow, and lost in desperation.

"And if I had done something just for you? You wouldn't be happy?" His eyes flicked to her, the tears in them as his laughter increased, his head shaking a little. "Regrets because of you. Such a thing isn't possible, Arya." His hands dropped and another shake of his head had him. "How could there be, when I would give my life for you?"

Another bit of laughter.

A single tear. "Not every choice is a sacrifice. Not every sacrifice is evil."

His reaction after the long silence was a bit unsettling to her, the frown returning as she slipped the folded letter into her robe pocket for unknown reasons and turned her body so that she was full facing him. She didn't know what she'd said to make him act so strange, but she was instantly wishing that she could take whatever she said back.

Painful knots twisted in her stomach at the sight of his tears, had her wishing them away and not responding to his first few questions. Because the answer wouldn't change, she just didn't think she was worth it. Honestly she didn't know how to respond to any of his questions, to how he was behaving, she could only look at him with a deflated expression.

Reaching up she cupped his cheek to silently wipe away the tear, chewing on her bottom lip at his last words.

While words would have been easier to respond to, her touch had him pressing his cheek into her hand, bowing his head. One hand came up to hold hers to him, another tear running silently down his cheek to drop onto his pant leg.

"What...will it take...what do I have to do...to prove to you how much I love you?" The words came out choked. Promise or no promise, it didn't matter anymore. "To show you how much you mean to me? That I couldn't leave you even if I wanted to?" Another silent tear and his voice came even quieter. "Would you fault me for making a choice by my love for you?"

She just wanted to stop his tears, she'd do anything to make them go away, but she simply didn't know how and it was starting to drive her mad. Biting down on her bottom lip as knots twisted in her gut, she cupped his other cheek to wipe the tears away.

And his words... she still didn't know how to respond, but she knew that he wanted one, that a part of him wouldn't be satisfied until he got one. "You don't have to prove anything.... I know, I see it everyday." Swallowing the growing lump in her throat, she pulled her hands back and wrapped them around her waist. "I'd never fault you for that..." her voice grew quiet as she blinked back her own growing tears, head dipping low.

There was an agonizing loss as her hands were removed. A coldness that chilled him to the bone. And it had him gulping for air, as if he was drowning. It was the feeling he knew would consume him if they parted. If they somehow drifted. A thought that on its own killed him.

Afraid of what he would see, unknowing of what he would see, he slowly drew his head up. And nearly froze. He had done it again. Somehow he had done it again. He had hurt her. It was all over her expression. Her posture. And it chilled him deeper than the fear of abandonment.

Shifting forward on the bench, he had no hesitation in wrapping his arms around her. In holding her close. Rocking her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."

She welcomed his embrace, leaned against him when drew her close and let one of her own arms slowly snake around his waist. Once again this had become about her, had somehow turned for a conversation about him to comforting her, and she hated it. Hated how she made him feel. "I'm sorry... this is my fault, and I'm sorry."

A long moment of silence passed as she simply let him rock and comfort her. It didn't push aside any guilty feeling she still felt about the situation, but it did help to ease a few of her other worries. Her face was still half buried into his chest when she spoke again, her voice just loud enough for him to hear her utter a simple statement. "I do love you too..."

It wasn't her fault. He should have told her earlier. Should have come forth with the truth of the matter before. And he was about to tell her, when he heard her next words. And everything stopped again.

Even his breathing hitched, as if to make sure he had heard her right. They replayed slowly in his mind, each single word drawing a new surge of emotions within him. His arms tightened around her, holding her closer. And new tears formed. Tears of happiness. And tears of absolute fear. "I love you..."

He wasn't sure if it was simply to repeat what she had said, or because it needed to be said again. All he knew was that he couldn't believe he was deserving of her love. Arya Lovegoods, the angel on earth. And she chose to love him.

A smile was drawn up at his words, and his reaction, her hand grabbing a fist full of his robes as she was pulled even closer to him. "I know." She'd always known, and now he knew she returned her love.

She snuggled her head into his chest, letting it drown out the students whose presence she was suddenly aware of. The food and saying goodbye to those she was sure to see next term didn't matter to her anymore. All that she cared to do now was heading to England and starting her summer with Sabel.

A small smile touched his lips and he felt the tension run out of his body. A relief. An overwhelming love. His Arya. His angel. He still couldn't believe it.

So he didn't part. There was no need to.

He didn't stay angry. It didn't matter.

He let his tears dry. Replaced by a soft smile.

And he held her. The only thing that mattered right now.

"I'm going to go back home to Boston," said Kelley, glad Rex had changed the subject. "I'm going to visit some of my Muggle friends, and then maybe I'll come back down to Diagon Alley.... I'm not really sure yet."

Simon smiled well at least Treyen wasn't mad with him that was a good thing. "That is so cool." Well the studying wasn't, when they could have been causing mischieve like they did last term, well saying that Simon was growing up now. "Treyen what are you doing over the holidays?" Simon asked as he thought about how boring his holidays where going to be well except for the second week of them that was.

The Slytherin boy couldn't help a small smirk when Cassie looked him up and down. At one time he would have said that it was the act of a flirt, but since the ordeal with this girl, he knew it probably more down to habit than anything else.

An eyebrow cocked and a chuckle escaped him. “Yellow wouldn't suit me.” He replied. “I'm far too pale to pull it off. I'd end up looking like the walking dead.” Freddie was extremely pale. Down to that Russian blood of his, or at least that's what his dear ol' ma always said.

Never see her again? The snake shook his head. “Cass... I was kinda hoping we could stay in contact. You've been a good friend to me here. One of the only..” He trailed off.. Freds just wasn't a social butterfly. He preferred to just keep himself to himself and get on with things quietly alone, but Cass had somehow managed to break through his defences and he considered her a close friend.

When the camera was produced, the boy recoiled but the photograph was forced upon him before he could object. “Lovely. Cheers for that.” he said sarcastically, a hand moving up to swat at the air and hopefully Cassie and her camera away. But no, she was persistent.. and she knew him rather well by the sounds of it as she requested he smile for the next picture. Her face was against his once again and her words made him smile without too much effort. “Freddie is awesome.” He mimicked her and let out another chuckle. “You've gotta let me have copies of these.” He said looking at the girl. Yep. Feisty flirtatious Cassandra Storm would certainly be missed.

Violet tried to study his face, what she could make out from his face was that the news probably wasn't going to be such good news to hear. When he asked her if he could talk to her for a minute alone Violet paused for a moment and then said,"Um, of course Chris.." When he got up Violet turned her head to Selina giving her a worried and confused look on her face before she slowly stood and walked towards Chris. She sat down next to him again and then asked softly,"Is everything alright?"

Harper plopped herself down at the Hufflepuff table, looking around, still just as wide-eyed as the day she got there, at the Great Hall. It was sad to be leaving, but good, too. Cause she knew she'd be back.

She put Pretzel up on the table next to her, along with the odd little other purple puffball Rex had found. She didn't know if it had an owner or not, but until it did, what could it hurt to hang out with Pretzel? She smiled at the little pygmy puffs, who were taking turns doing a weird little boogy-ing motion. Weirdos.

Hufflepuff in last place. Well, hopefully it wasn't just because of Harper's bad luck. Better luck next year, right? Right.

This was so hard. Jake had grossly underestimated just how difficult this feast would be. He'd thought about going to find Neptune but for two reasons, had not. One, Lexi was with her and Jake would have preferred some time just with Tune... make the most of it and all that. And two... he was on the very verge of tears; anything would push him over the edge and crying around Neptune just led to awkwardness. She didn't seem to know how to comfort another person like people comforted her. Oh well... not her fault.

He still had his sunglasses on as he meandered over to the table for his designated house for the last time... and sat himself down with a sigh. After a quick glance around the room, Jake nodded to himself. He was terrified of leaving... he was terrified that Neptune would find someone better than him when he was gone... he was terrified that he was throwing his little brother into the mess that was Hogwarts.

But at the same time... a lot of stuff here... a lot of people...

Yeah, he would NOT miss them.

Turning to his own table again, Jake folded his arms on the tabletop and rest his chin on them, watching the wall ahead from him through his sunglasses.

Last feast... wow...

Kita laughed at the way Caroline said her name. This girl always managed to bring a smile to her face. She was happy to be going to hers over the summer.

But wait a minute... "Yes and no...?" she asked, looking at Caroline with a curious expression on her face. So she was excited and she... wasn't? The little brunette was well and truly confused. Stupid chocolate feast!

" Good, I bet you Boston is a nice place to live" Rex told Kelley." Visiting yoru friends is a great idea ' Rex said to Kelley. " well, I will be busy so Diagon Alley will be out of the question for me at this time" Rex explained to Kelley.

A small frown playing at the corner of his mouth " I only know bout my mom and she died when I was one,But I am hopeing to find out some more this summer when I visit more with my Gran in Wales.Now I know what to look for " taking a sip of his drink right fast to break eye contact.



shaking his head slightly Kurumi...Why do you do that. You are smart.I know it my friends know it " jesteruing around the table " and I dont think you shoud hide who you are from me ,,, or us. We like you ... And on a side note I bet you didnt know they " pointing to the now sleeping dragon charm on his boot "like Smores with peanutbutter " Trying his hardest not to grin from ear to ear " If you dont belive me make some up for me and I will get a pic of one eating them this summer. " ,,, ahh the lengths we goto to get some of the sweets she made

"Yeah, Boston is nice," said Kelley, "I'm not sure if I'll go to Diagon Alley either. Of course I will to go buy everything I need for next term.... but probably not for any other purposes."

"I'm sorry," said Kelley sympathetically. She patted Mikey on the shoulder. "I really hope you can find out more about your heritage." She gave him a kind smile.

nodding with her " really it is cool ...I it was hard last year when I found out that I was magical but I really do love it and I found out loads of stuff bout my mom. Like she was a Huff also and that she was in potions club,that she got a dention for trying to go see the mervillage at the bottom of the lake" shaking his head,still thinking that it was not fair no where did it say that the bottom of the lake was out of bounds.