Feeling some kind of soft material in his hand, Jake squeezed it slightly before peeking his eyes open to see what it was. It... kind of quieted him to see it, and he looked up at Kingsley with a watery and explicably confused gaze. After managing to mouth his thanks, Jake wiped at his eyes and took a few shuddering breaths.

"I cccan never bbbbe one," he blubbed, though found he wasn't exactly upset by this. Perhaps his difficulty with magic was a blessing in disguise. "I cccan never be a rrrreal wizard. I c-c-can't do mmmagic when I wwwant to."

Well... he kind of could these days... simple spells that is.

Taking the cup, Jake pressed it to his lips again but held them shut, allowing the cold water to kind of soothe him. Occasionally he sipped some in. The sound of his breathing on the water once again calmed him down.

"I don't believe that for a second, Mister Upstead," Preston said simply. "But that is a conversation for another time."

Gripping the boy's shoulder firmly, but not tightly, Preston tilted his head, trying to catch his eye. "You did not hurt those people. You did not kill those people. You were taken advantage of and used. But you did not do it."

He gave the boy's shoulder a squeeze before dropping his hand. "Wanting to protect those that you love and not wanting to hurt people means that you have a good heart. But if you pursue Dark magic, it can become hairy. You'll stop caring about the people you love, or you'll lose them all together. Study hard. Learn how to protect against those magics. That's how you can protect the people you love."

He drummed his fingers on his knee. "And if you let bullies make you react, like you did in the Great Hall, you've only given them more power. Not less. If you want to take away their power, walk away. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you upset."

Listening to what Kingsley said, Jake just tried to believe it. He tried to believe he didn't do those bad things, that he was only used... but in his mind he still thought it was him. However, he still nodded. He might understand one day.

At the explanation, Jake gulped down some more water before setting the cup down with a shaky hand. That explanation, he did get. Good magic was still good... maybe not the easiest or most foolproof... but morals and junk put it on top. He understood.

"Wwwalking away..." Yeah, that was the hardest bit Jake tried to understand. "Whhen I was in fffirst year there was a bbbbully who wwwouldn't let me... And bbbefore I came to hhhogwarts... whole g-g-groups of kids in the ssstreet..." the boy shuddered slightly. "I cccan try..."

Preston nodded. "Well, you're not a first year any more. It would be harder to make you stay, now. But yes, try. Remember, giving them what they want - to see you upset - gives them power."

Preston pulled out a clean piece of parchment. "I want you to make another list, Mister Upstead. One to remind you about what you really want. I want you to write down those people and things that you care most about. Even if you don't think they care about you."

With a small smile and a pat on the shoulder, Preston headed to the doo. "I'll leave you to your thought for a moment, young man."

Preston then slipped out the door.

More writing. Ugh. More thinking.

More emotions.

Watching Kingsley take off again, Jake found himself staring at the parchment, biting his lip hard. There wasn't really that much; now his best friend was gone, that is.

Wiping his eyes again, Jake picked up his quill and got started.

That last one was hard to decide whether he wanted to write it. People thought he couldn't be in a proper relationship. Kingsley would think this was stupid. But he wrote it quickly and set the quill down.

That really was all he could think of.

Preston returned, patting his pocket robes before sitting down again. He frowned at the boy's list.

"What about things you like to do? Want to do? And what about that friend? Best friends don't stop being friends just because they aren't in the same place."

Looking back at Kingsley and then back at his list... and then at Kingsley... and then at his list, Jake frowned also. He very tentatively added two more things.

"It's nnnot just because we're in d-d-different ppplaces. We fffell out. I got mmmad at him for lleaving and he wwwon't like who I am nnnow."

As long as we're at Hogwarts together, it won't be so bad.

HUH. That made Jake kinda grrr.

But he did miss his friend, and was glad he was safe. Sigh.

Preston's frown lessened, though it didn't disappear.

"I think there's more. But how about this. When you think of something, add it to the list. And keep it with you." His tone grew serious. "This is the list of things you stand to lose if you decide to pursue the Dark Arts. Any time you think you're slipping. That you're getting too close to Dark and evil, like you said, use the list to remind you of good things. Good things worth being good for."

Preston stood. "You may go, but first, can I offer you some advice about your friend?"

Still staring at his list, Jake thought seriously about what was on it. He thought that was enough. It really was. He would use it well, you know?

"Okay," Jake nodded, and looked up at Kingsley in surprise wen he said he was free to go. The boy had just pushed his chair back when he heard the last part. "Sssure," he replied, eager for good advice.

Preston held the door open.

"Tell him why you think he doesn't want to be your friend. I don't know what you fell out about, or what you think it is about who you are that he won't like, but if he is your friend, then being honest with him will likely get a response."

He paused. "And Mister Upstead. Remember what we discussed today and how upsetting it was. Being a Dark Wizard won't fix any of that. Nothing good comes from hurting others."

He looked at the boy pointedly. "Come by my office if you'd like to discuss anything further. I think your detention has been sufficient."

That advice seemed... pretty good. Jake felt himself nodding at the professor after hearing it. He wasn't sure it'd work, but hey. Jake stood and nodded at the man, giving a tight little smile. "Yyyyes sir... and... th-thank you. I'll do mmmy best."

Cue awkward silence aaaaaaand... Jake finally stepping out.