Tammy's small smile left her face almost immediately and she sighed. "I guess you were always gonna find out about them. And I would have told you. I promise I would. I just didn't want to keep reliving it. And Eva does have a point. I didnt tell you, so I wasnt honest. I'm sorry.."

He waved his hand at her as if it was all nothing. "It doesn't matter, Tammy. That's stuff that you need to tell me about when you're ready to. It isn't her place." He started eating slowly another piece of toast.

"It does matter. It's me. Part of me, it's the reason I am the way I am. Before, I was such a quiet small midget, and then when it all happened, well I sortof decided to make the most of life, and speak to different people. Not just Eva. That's where it all went wrong really. But I have to tell you." Tammy sighed, but looked down at her now cold bacon sandwich. EH, her appetite had already disappeared.

He placed his hand on hers and squeezed it gently. "You tell me things when you are ready to and not a minute sooner, Tammy." He would wait a year if he had to. He just wanted her to tell him what she felt she could when she felt she could do it.

"I need to tell you Torin. I can't just not tell you. Warren knows, Eva knows, Kaika knows, everyone but you. Just promise me you won't hate me." That was needed. That promise was needed.

He raised his brow at her. What was she talking about? Why would he hate her? He'd never hate her. Though her tone was a little worrying. "I promise that I won't hate you."

Thank god for that.

"Well, that makes this a tiny bit easier." She took a quick deep breath, and looked down at her feet quickly then back up at him. "Starting from the beginning. I was two and a half. My dad and my aunt went out, and they never came back. They were in a car crash. So I havent had them for years, but then at the end of my fifth year, my mum had Cerrah. And we were gonna move to Greece, so I missed my OWLS. And then.. well... While we we-"

She had spent two whole years not thinking about it. And now. . . it was all there, all ready to come out.

He squeezed her hand again as she told him what had happened. It was hard for her, he knew, but she was doing a good job letting it out.

He had no idea about her dad and aunt though.. he squeezed her a bit harder when that part came up. And then she stopped.

"What, Tammy? What happened?"

It was just time to come out with it. That it was her fault, and that she was a bad person. And all rubbish like that.

"Lets just say... I... Well.. Ur.. I.. Sorta, ended up as an orphan after that trip. We were gonna live there, me mummy and Cerrah. But this one night, there was a fire.. And well. UR." Grabbing for a cup of water, she took a few sips and looked back at Torin.

Well this wasn't getting ANY easier.

"It was just me left.. I tried to help. I promise I did. I could hear Cerrah crying, and the flames were all over her door. And I couldn't get in there. And my mum. . . well she wasn't even making any noise. So I didn't know anything. And I tried and I tried.. A- A-.."

Her mother and sister died in a fire.. He couldn't believe it..

"Tammy, you can't blame yourself for it. You tried to save them. You were really brave to do that. And.. Tammy.. there was nothing you could have done."

He wrapped his arms around her in a hug. "You made it out. Your mother and sister.. they would have wanted that."

This was all stuff she probably heard a million times before and knew well. He was being a fail right now.

"It is my fault.. I just didn't try hard enough. And each day I try harder to not think about it, and put on a brave face. But it's like Shana has a smile like Cerrah, and she sorta reminds me of my mum. Which is stupid I know but... It's my fault.."

Pulling her arms around him she continued." I coulda save one of them. I know I could've."

He rubbed her back comfortingly. "You could have, yes," he agreed. "But then you might not have made it here. You wouldn't be sitting here with me right now. You wouldn't have even met me."

God, he was so bad at this. He was probably working to make her more upset if anything.

"But I might have lived, and I might have still had a mummy. And a sister.You don't get it Torin. I could hear her crying. And I didnt do anything. I just stood there and did nothing. I didnt help her. I just convinced myself that I tried, but I couldnt. I didnt. I-"

He sighed. Now he understood more than ever what had happened. She had frozen in fear and now she thought that it was all her fault because of it. "Tammy, it's still not your fault that it happened." He wished that he knew what to tell her. But he didn't. So he just kept hugging her.

Shaking her head, Tammy disagreed. "It was my fault. I never tried to help them. I'm a bad person aren't i?" Of course she was, she hadn't done everything in her power to help them. She hadn't been a good person.

"Tammy, you are not a bad person. You are a great person. You are a great friend." He hated seeing her so upset but he wasn't sure what else he could say to her to help her feel better.

"But I let them die... I didnt help them. I was so selfish, wasn't I?" Tammy knew somewhere deep down, that she wasn't entirely to blame, but she was to blame for only getting herself out. That wasn't nice. That was selfish.

"... Tammy, you need to let go of that. You can't spend your life blaming yourself for it. I understand that you think it's your fault for getting out of there, but.." He trailed off. He wasn't sure what else he could tell her.

"...."

Okay.

"I know but, it's always gonna be there niggling away that somehow it's my fault. And that this was the reason for Eva and my fallout. Her fault though." Eva was just ebing stupid now, trying to twist things.

He squeezed her hands again at the first bit of what she said to him. He knew that she would feel that way and he couldn't fix it. But he had tried. And if he was there to help her with it it would all be okay. "I'm confused. How did you two fall out over this?"

Tammy smiled a little bit, atleast now Torin knew, and he didnt hate her. Now he knew. Now he knew. Happy Tam. OH. God. "Well we sorta argued about the fact I was still moping about at the middle of our sixth year, and she sorta said it wasn't the worlds fault, because the world wasn't there and i was"

He frowned now. "What a terrible thing to say! How selfish of her!" If that girl was still around he would give her a big telling off. "Tammy, how could you have been best friends with her when she would act that way when you need her most?" He shook his head.

"I dunno. I guess I came out of it all a different person. That didn't necessarily need her. And she didn't like it. Because I listened to myself really. I think." eh. Tammy shrugged, she was glad she had gotten out of that friendship.

He nodded slowly. Seemed to make sense to him. But there was one thing that he wanted to ask her. Something that might help her get over this and heal a bit. But it was hard for him to ask her. "Tammy, have you been to their graves yet?

NO. No, she hadnt. No, she hadnt been able to go. She had, but she had never been strong enough. Not since it happened, not until now. "I want to say yes.. But no. I jus couldnt ever do it."