Quote:

Originally Posted by the greatest professor ever, of all time

"That was amazing. You are... a credit to your house, GENIUS RAVENCLAW BOY."

Plymouth Morgan blushed from head to toe. Naturally, he looked around to see who else had heard this bit of high praise from a professor. Anyone?

Quote:

Originally Posted by firenjen

Lucille chuckled as the boy flailed around, annoyed at the poop.

She frowned when he pointed her in the corner of the room, but then giggled. "Ahh, common, it's just a bit of poop! POO GLUE!!"

She snorted and stood next to the boy, to make the point that he was GOING to be buddies with her. She started humming, which transformed into "POOP GLUE, POOP GLUE, DODODODODOOO, POOP GLUUUUUEEEEEE!!"

She started bobbing around next to him, to try and get him to join in.

She could tell that he wanted to be her bestest buddy. She grinned widely at him.

"Brilliant," Plymouth whispered at the young Hufflepuff's idea. "You MUST be half Ravenclaw." He watched the young girl for a moment, then turned his attention back to his two rolls. He only had two... Hmmmm.

SOOOO, Plymouth rubbed his two rolls on his shirt that was already covered in poo - then stuck his rolls together. He had a pair of BINOCULARS. Plymouth put them straight to his face, then wandered around the owlery observing his peers and friends.

He ended up back next to Professor Perry though. Plymouth LOOKED at the Professor, giggled "hehehe," then he looked up at the sky. "TWINKLE twinkle little starrrrrrrrrr, how I wonder WHAT YOU AREEEE," he absently started to sing. Hmmmm.... what the heck WERE stars?

"Sticky charm is good," Perry agreed. "Hard to do if you don't know the incantation, though. I mean OBVIOUSLY I KNOW IT. But hard for other people. Still. Three points."

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyNerd

Fia bounced her way over and picked up a roll of toilet paper and emptied it down to nothing but the roll, then took another and did the same. "Sir, what if we just...bend them like this," she said as she squeezed one roll one way and fit it inside of the other. "We don't have to use the sticking charm then...unless we want too. We just keep adding." It was a suggestion and hey, the man seemed to like the strange ideas.

He watched with interest as she shoved one tube into the other. It was fascinating. FASCINATING. But also seemed a bit... destructive to the precious tubes. "Good idea, Hufflepuff girl. Very interesting. Three points to YOU."

Quote:

Originally Posted by curtisbk

Pulling her wand out of her robe very carefully Zoe muttered a spell under her breathe and the toilet paper freshly cleaned that had wound itself around her body wound itself back up as if it were still attached to it's roll. She really hated to waste things and didn't intend to start here with this.

The sticking charms really seemed like the best option to Zoe. This man on the other hand didn't seem to listen to reason very well.

"You could always summon some gum and have the whole class chew a piece then stick it to the ends of each tube and then use the shiny pieces of paper to make a series of reflectors to act as the mirrors inside the makeshift telescope. If the paper isn't reflective enough we could always cast a charm on it."

Zoe knew that this was an absolutely ridiculous idea, but she just wanted to see what the professor would say.

"GUM? That's a VERY good idea, and one that everyone could participate in. Except people in Muggle braces. They're out of luck," Perry gave the girl an outrageous sort of wink. "Three for YOU."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaytone

"I agree with Marie, Sir. We could use one of the two spells. Or if we had muggle tape we could tape them all together. I've seen it and it works very well." Kay said as she begain unrolling her three roll of toilet paper. She still didn't understand how this was going to let them see the star better.

"Muggle stuff again? That's an interesting one. I'll give you three points, but we don't HAVE Muggles here who will share their tape. NO TAPE. NO MUGGLES."

Quote:

Originally Posted by firenjen

Lucille just about managed to control herself. She finally took a loo roll and unravled it all.

She dumped the toilet paper on the ground next to her in a big bundle, sat on it and wrapped herself up in it, to try and remove as much of the owl poo as she could.

When she was (relativly) poo-free, she took her roll and made two tares in each side. She did the same to a second roll and shoved them together. They suck (a little lopsidedly) and she held it up for the proffesor to see.

"Vóla!" she said, just as the tubes fell apart again. Lucille looked at the dropping strewn floor, her brow furrowed. Maybe....

"Poo!" she said brightly. "Poo Glue!!"

She bent and scooped a large handfull of the stuff up in her hand, covered it over the join of the two toilet rolls. It worked! The two loo rolls stayed together. For the second time, Lucille showed her telescope to the professor.

"Stink-o-scope!" She announced brightly.

"STINK-O-SCOPE. POO GLUE!" Perry burst out laughing. He doubled over to slap his thighs as he guffawed at the girl. "Oh. Jolly good. Jolly jolly good. Five points for that one. So creative. Genius."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deniiz

Evan just stared at the guy for a moment before he could compose himself. That-that was his plan?! Seriously?! He watched the poophessor trying to jam them together with a very suspicious and disapproving expression. Surely they would use some lens, right? Did this guy know how to place them? Taking one short glance at his behaviour, Evan was sure he didn't. And his next sentence prooved Evan's thought: the longer you make it, the farther it sees. Fact. He raised his eyebrows as another thought occured: if this was a fact, then they would go on this, resulting in no lens used, therefore no stars seen. Perfect. He seriously wondered if they would get a proper Astronomy class this year.

He raised his hand again and asked "Do you have lens to put in these..." One quick suspicious glance at the toilet rolls, he went on "...telescopes? Sir?" He doubted it. It seemed fun to rip off the whole paper but it was also a environmental homicide, so nope, Evan Cartwright would be involved in it until he made sure it'd worth it.

"I have perfect eye sight, my boy. PERFECT EYE SIGHT. I don't need glasses. But that was clever of you to ask. I would hate to have to look through my telescope and squint at the stars."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antarctica!

For a moment, Kiri was too enraged to speak. Maybe it was the condescending tone that the professor used when he addressed her, hand-waving her question away like a bad conjurer. Or his... critical research failure when it came to meteors. She opened her mouth to let him know just how much of an idiot he was, but stopped herself just in time. Idiot or not, he was still a teacher, and as such could make life inventively miserable for her.

"How long does our... telescope have to be, Professor?" she asked, as politely as she could manage. She bent down and picked up a few of the toilet paper rolls. She stripped the rolls of the paper and then, bending each cardboard roll slightly so that it fit into the end of the next one. She repeated this a few times, grumbling mutinously under her breath. Then she was done; she'd created a length of cardboard made up of several rolls.

This sorry excuse for a telescope, however, did not improve her mood by an instant. She glared at the professor - which would, Kiri was forced to admit, have looked more impressive if she weren't covered in toilet paper. If he was going to brush her off with another "There, there"-sort of speech, she was probably going to set a new blood pressure record. "But Professor, we really don't need a telescope," she tried again, unwisely. "That's the whole point of the term 'meteor'," she continued, twisting the cardboard tube in her hands. "They're visible streaks of light in the atmosphere. And meteor showers are big enough that you don't need any equipment to watch them." She wondered vaguely how much of an astronomy expert this person really was. "They're only a few dozen kilometres up. That's not... 'very far away'." The quotation marks were clearly audible - and in good company with the sarcasm in Kiri's voice.

"As long as you want," Perry spoke to this one VERY slowly. She was a bit sloooooow. Precious thing. She probably needed remedial Astronomy. PRECIOUS BABY SLYTHERIN. "I think your ideas are very interesting and innovative. Very. Wrong. But interesting."

Perry was ready to get a move on. "If anyone has any additional questions, please ask. For now, however, please move to the window and enjoy the shower with your FABULOUS NEW TELESCOPES. We'll be wrapping up this WONDERFUL CLASS shortly."

"Cool Professor thanks, we finally get to see this show" K was very excited for the show for she had seen one or two in Manchester but this was way cooler becuase it was totally dark no city lights to bother it too much. She loved her new telescope but, she did get a bit confused. "I'm enjouing the show but now am I to foucs in on something when this only gose so far?" K wanted to foucs in on this one part of the sky she really was keen on. She didn't know why but she was and she could not foucs on it.

Wow, so many suggestions, yet...which one to go with? LouAnn shrugged and glanced down at the cardboard rolls in her hand. It seemed like the meteor shower was going to start soon, though, so LouAnn swished and flicked her way through the sticking charm enough times to get them all stuck together. A few were a little crooked here and there, but she could at least see through them. Like Kiri said, though...the unaided eye would have also down the trick. Ahh, well. It was fun to make a mock telescope anyway.

She stood up and made her way over to the window, casting a color charm on her 'telescope' as she did so. She made it purple...like LouAnn Purple, tee hee. Even though she was sure Kiri was right, she raised her telescope to her eyes anyway just for kicks.

Evelyn, who was extremely surprised that the professor heard her, gave him a small and nervous smile. 'If he heard that, what else did he hear me say?' she thought, taking a step or so towards the window so it would look like she was participating, but far enough away where the danger level was not so high.

She had seen plenty of meteor showers before, so it wasn't a problem that she didn't see it clearly this time. Realizing how dark it was in the room, and outside, she glanced around at all the toilet paper on the floor...and walls. 'Kinda looks like it's snowy and glowing.' She smiled at the thought, even though it was the owlery, and it smelled. Turning her head to Destiny, she smirked and whispered, "You gunna head over to the window? Or try and stretch your 'telescope' far enough towards it so you can see?"

Lucy still hadn't figured out how to stick the rolls together. But after hearing the other ideas from Prof. Perry, she decided to use a Permanent Sticking charm.

She attatched quite a few together, and so so when she was done, her telescope was atleast 2 and a half feet long.
"Hmm, wonder if this will work..." she said to herself.

She walked over to the window and put her right eye in the telescope. She could see the stars, as well as the moon. Ahh, the moon. It was shiny and round...and perfect tonight. She sighed.

Looking down at herself, Mina laughed. She was sure a sight covered in what looked like a dress cloud of paper. Thank Merlin, no one had taken a picture of me in this state. Shaking herself free from her little cloud, she gathered her rolls and looked at them. Tilting her head in thought. So many good suggestions, but which one to choose? Taking her wand out she quietly used the sticky charm on them and returned her wand to its home. Smiling to herself she moved to the window, even though she had remained near the back of the class, she didn't want to miss the shower. She did love showers like this and most things astronomy, even though during the last lesson she was fearful to mention it. Stars intriged her and she was very fond of gazing at them.

Destiny was still attaching toilet paper rolls to her already huge telescope. Pleased with the work she did, Destiny shook her head. 'Perfect! *extreme sarcasm* Now we can see the falling rocks!' Destiny Pushed her homemade telescope closer to the window and looked through the one end. 'I can't see a bloody thing. It'll be easier to not use this. See if you can see anything.' and she held out the end to Evelyn.

Fi was happy! Fi was just...THRILLED! "Miles! Did you hear that? My first three points for Hufflepuff!" WOOOT! Now she had three points to loose...well in case she needed too. "You know what that means?" She leaned in closer to him and grinned. "Means we can have fun with some jokes in the hallway now!" Yup! She was on her way to detention if she had too.

She made herself move slowly over to the window to use her new telescope. She certainly did NOT want to go flying out of the window. That would be a terrible thing to happen. As soon as she lifted the little cardboard thingy, a shooting star went zooming by! "There's one!"

Mmil Miles laughed as Fia seemed uberly excited about getting 3 points. Looking at the little cardboard rolls curiously he pointed his want at it and watched as it grew longer and longer....and longer still...geez how long was it going to get. Hearing her comment he grinned and leaned in, "Now? What we weren't going to before?" Damn. Holding up his entirely too long telescope to Fia he laughed, "Well? What do you think?" Then it started drooping...he needed to work on controlling his spells a little better it seemed.

He watched as she moved carefully toward the window and followed her with his droopy telescope. "What? Where? I wanna see!"

Evelyn snorted when she saw Destiny actually try and look through the telescope...thing, waving her hands 'no' that she didn't want to look. "That's okay. I already know it won't work."

Looking around again, she placed her hands on her hips and stared at the mounds of toilet paper on the floor. CLEAN toilet paper on the DIRTY floor...the floor which her clean shoes were standing on. A second later, she grabbed as much toilet paper as she could and stuck it in the far end of the room, and did this a few more times until there was a mountain of white tissue just sitting there.

"Perfect." she muttered, smiling at the white mountain. Taking her bag, she walked over and laid down on it, crossing her feet and putting her hands behind her head. 'Hey, i can still see through the window from here. Wow...this is...kinda comfy.' Sighing in satisfaction, she closed her eyes...for juuuuust a minute.

'No...bad idea.' Unwillingly, she opened her eyes and called to Destiny. "Hey, there's more room here." she indicated to the spot next to her. 'Aaaand you can keep me awake.'

Fia pulled back to allow Miles to look out the window as well but her eyes caught attention of his HUGE telescope. "Umm...did you have to make it so big?" Good grief! "The only thing you will see through that huge and long telescope will be the trees because...it sags! Here! Use mine." She handed over her own telescope for him to look through, but it was the same as looking with the naked eye. This professor was just...strangely weird! She liked him!

After performing a permanent sticking charm Zoe held up her cardboard tube that was a little longer than it was before.

Walking over to the window Zoe smirked thinking about class thus far. The professor was a bit loopy, but at least class was fun and not frightening. Now for some meteors.

Destiny had to fight the urge to just throw the telescope out the window. She looked through it one last time just in case it decided to work. 'Of course not.'

Turning around, Destiny noticed Evelyn making a toilet paper mountain. Smiling, Destiny dropped her telescope on the ground and carefully made her way to where Evelyn was now resting on the mountain of toilet paper. 'Brilliant idea!' Sitting down next to Evelyn, Destiny hugged her knees, rested her head and enjoyed the falling rocks.

Lucille beamed. FIVE POINTS FOR POO GLUE?? SQUEEEEEEEE!!

She slid over to the window, arms outstretched so she could catch herself.

WAIT.

Shower? They were going to have showers? Well, they all neaded one after todays lesson. Bu-

The sky started raining lights. Twinkly lights. Why was that happeni-

Oh!

Meteor shower! Of course. Duh.

Lucille watched, eyes wide open.

"Professor," she said, her brow furrowed and her head sideways. "Why are the stars falling down?"

That couldn't be good.

Evan then smiled at the professor. He wasn't that crazy after all, he at least knew the lens. The blondie quickly ripped off three rolls, he had perfect eyes too, and went over to the window. He had stuffed the toilet papers under his new shoes to prevent them from getting any dirtier, like that could happen, and looked through his 'telescope'. Hmm... interesting. Might have been better with a real telescope though.

They stared at each other in mutual incomprehension for a few moments. Then something inside Kiri's head clicked. She nodded. She even managed a small smile. "Thank you, Professor," she said. There was no reason to say it, but this person seemed to be listening to someone's tone of voice more than to the actual content of the actual words. Arguing with the professor, she'd decided, would not get her anywhere. He would never admit he was wrong (Kiri wondered if that was an essential trait of anyone who knew Lord Borr), and if she was going to go berserk, she would do so with precision and when there was a chance of progress.

Careful not to slip in anything, Kiri shuffled over to one of the windows. By now, it was dark outside. It was light inside, though. Kiri grabbed the wall tightly and leaned out as far as she could, squinting into the night. She'd stuffed the cardboard tube into the pocket of her robe negligently. It was being mildly squeezed and deformed right now as she looked outside, waiting for the meteors.

Of course, her eyes could not really adapt to the night. Watching a meteor shower really should have been something to do in the Observatory, in darkness. She was not going do mention this to the professor, though. He would nod and pat her head and say something like, "Yes, that's very interesting, but humans are daylight creatures," and then she'd be forced to gag him with a roll of toilet paper.
But total darkness wasn't necessary. That was the fun thing about meteor showers. All around her, students went "Ooh!" and "Aah!" as the rocks burned up in the atmosphere high above. Kiri's spirits lifted at the sight. She grinned into the night, watching meteor after meteor blaze across the sky.

Oh. My. Bubblegum.
A poo skating class? An over exuberant Astronomy teacher? Telescopes out of toilet paper rolls?
Ok, the last one wasn't THAT weird. A bit unorthodox, perhaps, but more normal than the others.

Nikki glanced at the others. The class seemed to be divided, with one half enjoying the...unique, style of teaching, and the half scourgifying themselves every ten seconds.

Nikki wasn't quite sure what to do, and wanted to stay as clean as possible. The brunette grabbed four toilet paper rolls, smacked two together (she shuddered as she rubbed them against the bird poop) to make binoculars. She then stuffed the remaining two into the ends of them, so they..extended, kinda. They looked a bit...mangled, but meh.

The first year also whipped out her camera, and took photos of the class poo skating. What an interesting photo this would be. And what an interesting class, too. She wondered if Borr would ever come back. While he wasn't the best teacher, he clearly was mature, unlike...whatever this guys name was.

Along with the rest of the class, Nikki squeezed around the windows. She pushed through some of the bigger kids, and one of the extendy pieces of her binoculars fell out. Oh well.

Nikki smiled as she watched the meteor shower. It was so PRETTY! She learned precariously out of the window, and took another photo. It showed the grounds under the shower. The reflection of all the rocks burning were rippling across the lake, along with the stars.

It really was a pretty picture, and Nikki was rather glad she had attended the class (apart from the odd things that occured in Astronomy). She vaguely wondered why Astronomy had to be so dirty, with all the vomiting and the poop, and all. But she pushed that thought aside, and smiled as the shower continued.

Carter walked over to the window to enjoy the meteor shower. "Wow..." he breathed. It was an amazing sight.

"Those are the broken ones, of course. Like changing light bulbs," Perry said cheerfully. He stared out of his one cardboard tube for a moment, surveying the grounds.

OH HEY. HE WAS LIKE SOME SORT OF SPACE OWL PIRATE GUY! ALL I SURVEY IS MINE!

"Ahem. Class, you may continue to study the wonderous night sky from this post for as long as you'd like. As for homework, I want you to continue to improve upon your design for a telescope. You may use any materials you find here in the school to make it better. Please explain what steps you took to make it, or even better... you can show it to me!"

"The second part of your homework is that I want you to demonstrate your favorite thing about Astronomy to me. You can draw or sing or write a poem, or just write a paragraph or two. But I do dearly love the arts. Your whole assignment is worth 15 points, so make it really IMPRESSIVE. It will be due 2 weeks from today."

Zoe took a step back from the window and giggled a little to herself. Here in the Owlery with Owls swooping in and out of the various windows were students covered in toilet paper and owl droppings staring up at a beautiful meteor shower through toilet paper tubes. It really was a ridiculous site.

Sighing to herself she retrieved her camera once more and with a snap saved the image forever. Picking some of the toilet paper off of her robe, she pulled her wand out of her pocket and performed a quick cleaning spell. Grumbiling slightly under her breathe she started to make her way back up to the castle. Even with the cleaning spell she would certainly still need a shower. Hopefully she wouldn't run into anyone she knew on her way.

Broken stars?

Uh-Oh.

Lucille listened to the homework. Hurrah! A chance to work on the stink-o-skope. And she was sure she could write a rather fetching song about the broken falling stars. For once, she was actually looking forward to doing her homework.

Weird.

It was official. Proffesor Perry was her FAVEROUTIST!!

Lucille nodded, gave the professor a slightly scary smile and turned back to the sky.

'Oh great, more drawing' Marie thought as she started packing up her things so she could get out of the mess that was being called a classroom. 'This class was certainly a strange one, not quite as strange as the professor, but strange' Marie thought as she quickly left the owlery to head back to the dorms so she could get herself properly cleaned up.

Oh my.

Strange class, this had been but, then again, cousin Shel had seen stranger, if the stories he told Fyo were true - they probably were, cousin Shel hardly ever lied, that Fyo knew for a fact.

"Umm, great lesson, Professor," the fourth year ventured, as he jotted down the homework, and began to pack up. It had certainly been a very one-in-a-million experience.

Lovely.

Jake gave this dude a quick nod and backed away towards the door, a few of the cardboard rolls stuck in his pocket. After giving Wesley a slight smile, Jake hurried out before she could say anything else about his hand.

And now... homework.