"That's what he said we would do," Kiri mumbled, glancing around at the girl. She figured she could probably do that right now - the professor hadn't answered her question yet (was he going to?), but he was distracted by... madly tumbling toilet paper rolls. More and more so, in fact, as many of the students started throwing stuff around, taking out their wands and using them on the paper rolls.

The girl had apparently occupied herself in that manner, too. Kiri looked at the thing in the girl's hand in complete bemusement. She wasn't sure whether to be annoyed at this or not. This was Astronomy! At least, it had said so on the tin. So, anyone not doing astronomical stuff in Astronomy was bound to make Kiri at least a little angry. But in this case... With a replacement professor whose first item of business had been to dispose of an armful of telescopes by lobbing them out of a window, and then proceeding to summon the school's supply of toilet paper, Kiri supposed that everyone had to find their own way of making sense of the lesson. She decided to stick with exasperation for now.

"It's not so bad, no," she conceded, turning back to look at the odd professor. "At least compared to the first lesson," she added with a snort. "But we're supposed to be doing Astronomy now!"

Destiny stood there still holding a handful of toilet paper. Everyone seemed to be enjoying this class. She watched wide eyed as the girl made toilet paper streamers. 'Maybe this class isn't that bad.'

Turning to Evelyn, Destiny smiled. 'Well, I wouldn't say I miss Borr. Maybe we should just have fun?'
Taking the handful of toilet paper in her hand, Destiny threw it right at Evelyn. Turning quickly to run away, Destiny forgot about all the poo on the floor, stepped in a pile and fell backwards. Now she was on her back, looking up at the ceiling. 'Oowwww!'

All the students around, having fun with their toilet paper, and all Samson could do was stand around, trying to make his own sorry excuse for a sculpture stand.

THIS WAS NOT ACCEPTABLE. He was missing out on the toilet paper action.

On one side of the room, Samson caught sight of a student, and the professor. Eagerly, he stepped over and took pictures of their little episode, which was all the more fun because it wasn't just limited to the Owlery. Mwaha.

The picture he took showed Plymouth and Professor Josef's backs eagerly peering out of the Owlery's balcony or ledge or whatever you wanted to call it. Then it zoomed in to show the rolls of toilet paper falling to the ground, as far as it would go, and then coming back up again when summoned. Then it played over and over again, like a videotape on rewind and play. It was fun to watch. WHEEE.

He flipped the photo over and scribbled a little something:

Attack of the Toilet Paper: Student, Professor, Toilet Paper. We were warned.

...Mkay. To back pocket you go, photo.

Evelyn, surprised to find a bunch of toilet paper in her face, threw it to the ground and looked to where she thought Destiny went. "What are yoouu..." trailing off, she didn't see her anywhere. 'Dang she's fast.' she thought, looking around, even behind her, until she accidentally kicked something hard on the ground.

"Oh, hey." she said in a light tone, smirking. "Yea, you're right. This is fun." Evelyn laughed. It's always fun to see someone laying in poo. 'In fact...' walking over to her bag, she took out her camera and aimed it at the students. With a FLASH, she took a picture and quickly placed it back in her bag, then went back over to Destiny, helping her up.

Oh my this class was interesting. Still laying low toward the back of the class, Mina took a roll that happen to roll her way and look at it. Ewww, it's all nasty! Looking at it carefully and then around the owlery itself, she thought to herself. What would it look like if we all toilet papered this place. She smiled to herself and looked around again, noticing the chaos and everyone around tossing the toilet paper around. While in Rome. She shrugged and tossed the roll over a beam. If everyone was tossing the paper around, she might as well have fun as well.

This lesson was so much more interesting than the last. The owlery was draped in paper and Mina was stroke with an idea, well it wasn't really her idea, but she figured she's might as well capture the craziness as well. Pulling her camera out, she centered it and took a picture. Perfect. Smiling at herself as she placed the camera back in her bag and then continued on with her papering.

All Perry could do was stare at the boy. Was the environment MORE IMPORTANT than Astronomy? NO IT WAS NOT! "I don't care what you do with the paper. Have FUN. LEARN ABOUT THAT ELUSIVE MAGIC - GRAVITY."

He turned his back on the boy. "Astronomy is about the sky. The sky is the environment TOO."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antarctica!

Kiri glanced upwards. Yep, the owls were apparently smarter than the students; they'd all disappeared. Eyeing the replacement professor, she wished she was able to do the same. While Kiri had to credit him with not being Borr - which said something about the state of this lesson - he still seemed to be connected to Astronomy, and maybe reality as well, only by accident. She usually preferred those teachers who were easy-going and friendly, but this person was a clown.

She jumped as the door burst open and a giant mass of white toilet paper rolls came flying into the room. Wherever they landed on the floor, they began unfolding generously in long rows, their immaculate colour immediately turning icky and grubby. At first, Kiri wasn't sure she'd understood the professor correctly. And when she did, she hoped she hadn't. They were going to build telescopes out of toilet paper rolls?

The wildly tumbling rolls caused the air to be filled with dust particles. Kiri clamped her mouth shut. It was a good idea not to think too much about what exactly the stuff floating through the air was. They were in the Owlery, after all.

A toilet paper roll bounced off her head. That did it. Kiri stomped her foot, causing her to nearly slip in something horrible, and raised her hand. "Professor," she forced her voice to be calm, "why are we... trying to make telescopes out of toilet paper rolls? Surely you know we don't need any to watch a meteor shower."

"It is good that you are SO VERY ADORABLE, LITTLE SLYTHERIN CHILD," Perry grinnnnnnnnned at her. "Because you sure aren't Ravenclaw smart. Meteors are in the sky and are VERY FAR AWAY. Just make a telescope, little girl. You'll be okay."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deniiz

Evan raised an eyebrow at the professor who fiercefully rejected the idea of repairing the telescopes. Maybe he too had lost his wand? Whatever his reason was, Evan liked the idea of building their own telescope, and he too joined to the "fists" and smiled encouragingly at the professor. If they would build their very own telescope, it'd worth the poop on his new and shineh Adidas. He waited to be instructed when the professor summoned toilet paper. Er... toilet paper? He looked confused at him, then a very childish idea occured, in which he didn't want to believe the bit. The professor really couldn't think that it'd work, right? But... ripping off the whole paper and using only the carton would mean only one thing... Looking at his toilet paper beside his shoes hesitantly, he raised his hand --like it would matter now-- and raised his voice to be heard over the ripping sound. "I'm just wondering..." Nah, he wouldn't call this clown a professor, because he apparently wasn't. "...you don't plan to stick the cartons together and looked through it, do you?" And yes, he was blaming all of it on him, for he was the responsible of this mess. His way of talking might cause trouble though even to this OH SO ECITED! professor, so he added after a few seconds with a apologising smile. "Sorry for this silly question. Just a thought of twelve-year-old child." Surely the... 'professor' wasn't that... childish?

Evan glanced once more at the toilet paper beside his feet. He looked around and saw that everyone was enjoying the task, so yeah, why not? He grabbed it and started ripping it off. Oh joy.

"THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I PLAN!" Perry was so excited! He picked up two of the rolls and attempted to jam them together. ERM. SOMETHING WRONG HERE. "Later, though. I'm busy right now."

Quote:

Originally Posted by firenjen

Lucille had spent the entire lesson so far with her hand clapped over her mouth, bent down slightly to stop from laughing.

Professor Perry was her FAVOURITE!

He was all bouncy!

She laaiiiiiked it!

Pahahahaha!

The compelsion to laugh was too much. It built up inside her like a raising bubble, untill -

"PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!"

She tried to reach for her loo roll, but it was too much.

She doubled over, sliding in poo as she did and was laughing so hard she thought she was about to explode.

She didnt even care that her slip had now covered her in poo. She didnt care that it covered her white hair. She was CRACKING UP!

"P-Pr-Professor!!" She gasped between side aching turrents of chuckles. "Professor, i-i i help m-me! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA" She colapsed once more into a fit of laughter, slipping again, and ended up sprawled on the ground.

Tears ran down her face, her eyes were red and screwed up in a now silent laughter.

"You look DISGUSTING, LITTLE GIRL! I LOVE YOUR ENTHUSIASM! ONE MILLION POINTS OF AWESOME FOR YOU." The mention of points reminded Perry that he was a professor now and that meant he could give out points. HOUSE POINTS. They all deserved points, though. Hmmm.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mad Eye Touz

Plymouth moved to stand next to Professor Perry. Like, right next to him. Elbow to elbow. Plymouth LOVED a lot of the professors, most of them in fact. But this one... this one knew. He knew how to keep Plymouth engaged and totally focused and ready to LEARN about dinosaurs and toilet paper. "Sir. SIR. Professor P. HEHE. Watch this. Watch."

Plymouth took TWO rolls of toilet paper and stuffed the ends into his pockets. Then, he THREW the two rolls out of the open window. "GRAVITTTTTTYYYYYY!!!!! You SEE it??"

The white rolls falling, falling, falling and leaving a BEAUTIFUL trail of white papery glory in their path. "BEAUTIFUL!" Plymouth leaned out of the window and watched the rolls BOUNCE off the ground, the little cardboard pieces rolling away.

Hmmm. So Plymouth hadn't EXACTLY thought his plan to rid the rolls of their paper all the way through. But he was a WIZARD. "WIZARD!!!" Plymouth yelled before whipping his wand out and SUMMONING his two rolls. "WIZARD BEATS GRAVITY."

"WIZARD MAGIC IS BETTER THAN GRAVITY MAGIC," Perry agreed in a LOUD voice. He thumped the Plymouth boy on the back with a broad grin. GOOD MAN HERE. He figured out the gravity bit AND he got back his tubes when they flew out the window. Million points of awesome to him too.

"That was amazing. You are... a credit to your house, GENIUS RAVENCLAW BOY."

He turned to the students, eager to move on to the next part of his AMAZING LESSON. "Now that we have rolls of cardboard, we are going to stick a few together to make telescopes. You know, the longer you make it, the farther it sees. Fact."

Perry attempted to jam the two rolls together again. "I'll take suggestions on how to stick them together. If you dont' have enough rolls yet, you can keep on unrolling. The dresses are very pretty. No one made a chair, though."

Evelyn stared at the professor. Was he really...really serious about this? Glancing down at the cardboard roll in her hand, she looked around and saw a couple others on the ground. 'Well...doesn't look like anyone is using those.' Quickly, she picked one up and went back over to Destiny.

"If he just used a sticky charm...it would probably do the trick." she muttered to herself, taking out her wand and putting a sticking charm carefully on one end of a roll, and then connecting the two rolls together. Satisfied with her work, she observed the rest of the room. 'Wow it's a mess in here.'

Marie had been so busy taking pictures that she had only unrolled one roll of toilet paper. Finding a couple of intact rolls she followed what some of the other students had done by grabbing the end of the tissue and throwing it out the window. She then used the summonig spell to bring the empty tubes back to her.
She knew she would be able to put the rolls together by using a sticking charm but that may not hold. Remembering something she had read she said "Professor, what if we used a permanent sticking charm such as gluten sempra which means glue forever, or maybe adher sempra, which means stick forever?"

Fia bounced her way over and picked up a roll of toilet paper and emptied it down to nothing but the roll, then took another and did the same. "Sir, what if we just...bend them like this," she said as she squeezed one roll one way and fit it inside of the other. "We don't have to use the sticking charm then...unless we want too. We just keep adding." It was a suggestion and hey, the man seemed to like the strange ideas.

Pulling her wand out of her robe very carefully Zoe muttered a spell under her breathe and the toilet paper freshly cleaned that had wound itself around her body wound itself back up as if it were still attached to it's roll. She really hated to waste things and didn't intend to start here with this.

The sticking charms really seemed like the best option to Zoe. This man on the other hand didn't seem to listen to reason very well.

"You could always summon some gum and have the whole class chew a piece then stick it to the ends of each tube and then use the shiny pieces of paper to make a series of reflectors to act as the mirrors inside the makeshift telescope. If the paper isn't reflective enough we could always cast a charm on it."

Zoe knew that this was an absolutely ridiculous idea, but she just wanted to see what the professor would say.

Destiny took Evelyn's helping hand. It was a good thing there was toilet paper everywhere, or else Destiny would be a lot messier than she was. 'Thanks.' Destiny laughed.


Destiny quickly stopped laughing when she heard the 'professor' taking suggestions. And again the doubt about this man being a wizard was back in her head. 'Right. I'm just going to use a sticking charm on them.'

Destiny still had the empty roll in her hand, even after falling. It took her long enough to unroll it, she wasn't about to lose it. Looking around the owlery 'If you would call it the owlery anymore', Destiny noticed some empty rolls that, hopefully, weren't being used. Summoning about 20 empty rolls she started to stick them together. When she had them all connected she turned to Evelyn 'The longer my telescope is, the farther I can be away from the window and,*glances to the professor* that man!' Yep, the farther away from both the window and the man the better, and probably the safer.

"I agree with Marie, Sir. We could use one of the two spells. Or if we had muggle tape we could tape them all together. I've seen it and it works very well." Kay said as she begain unrolling her three roll of toilet paper. She still didn't understand how this was going to let them see the star better.

Lucille just about managed to control herself. She finally took a loo roll and unravled it all.

She dumped the toilet paper on the ground next to her in a big bundle, sat on it and wrapped herself up in it, to try and remove as much of the owl poo as she could.

When she was (relativly) poo-free, she took her roll and made two tares in each side. She did the same to a second roll and shoved them together. They suck (a little lopsidedly) and she held it up for the proffesor to see.

"Vóla!" she said, just as the tubes fell apart again. Lucille looked at the dropping strewn floor, her brow furrowed. Maybe....

"Poo!" she said brightly. "Poo Glue!!"

She bent and scooped a large handfull of the stuff up in her hand, covered it over the join of the two toilet rolls. It worked! The two loo rolls stayed together. For the second time, Lucille showed her telescope to the professor.

"Stink-o-scope!" She announced brightly.

Tibi was simultaneously appalled and amazed by the girl with the poo glue telescope.

Delicately taking his camera out of his bag, careful not to let anything touch the floor, he took a picture of the girl and her stink-o-scope as she showed it to the professor.

Putting the camera back in his bag, he shook his head. This was certainly an interesting lesson.

Ohkay.

Samson slowly picked up the scattered cardboard rolls without taking his eyes of Professor Perry. He was getting more and more peculiar by the minute. And he had to admit, he was a student's man, with his hyped up attitude that wasn't that of a teacher. Whoever this substitute was, he definitely had Samson's respect and favor. Yay!

"Um. Um. I bet owl poop is sticky enough," he offered, sticking one end of a cardboard tube in owl poo and sticking the other end of another cardboard tube. Well. It stuck for a few seconds before if fell off.

Meh.

Lucille, still holding out her own poo-tube, looked at the boy with an amused expression.

"No, no no no, no," she said, walking over to him and shaking her head. "You have to do it like this."

She bent down and scooped up another large handful of poo, and slopped it onto the boys tube for him, ignoring the specs that flew off and hit him. Ooops.

"There!" she said brightly, wiping her hands on his robes. "All better."

Samson's eyes widened as a Hufflepuff girl apprached him and taught him how to execute his idea. WITH POOP FLYING ON HIM. EEEK. It was all he could do not to cringe.

What? Times like these, he felt like he had OCD.

"Aaacckkgaaaaahh!" Samson all but flailed and waved his arms in front of the girl, trying to fight her off and away. He stared at her, irate, and cast a quick scourgify and he was all sparkly clean. Hooray. And. No more poop. Rawr.

"You. There," he grumbled, and pointed over to a corner of the room farthest from him.

Evan just stared at the guy for a moment before he could compose himself. That-that was his plan?! Seriously?! He watched the poophessor trying to jam them together with a very suspicious and disapproving expression. Surely they would use some lens, right? Did this guy know how to place them? Taking one short glance at his behaviour, Evan was sure he didn't. And his next sentence prooved Evan's thought: the longer you make it, the farther it sees. Fact. He raised his eyebrows as another thought occured: if this was a fact, then they would go on this, resulting in no lens used, therefore no stars seen. Perfect. He seriously wondered if they would get a proper Astronomy class this year.

He raised his hand again and asked "Do you have lens to put in these..." One quick suspicious glance at the toilet rolls, he went on "...telescopes? Sir?" He doubted it. It seemed fun to rip off the whole paper but it was also a environmental homicide, so nope, Evan Cartwright would be involved in it until he made sure it'd worth it.

Lucille chuckled as the boy flailed around, annoyed at the poop.

She frowned when he pointed her in the corner of the room, but then giggled. "Ahh, common, it's just a bit of poop! POO GLUE!!"

She snorted and stood next to the boy, to make the point that he was GOING to be buddies with her. She started humming, which transformed into "POOP GLUE, POOP GLUE, DODODODODOOO, POOP GLUUUUUEEEEEE!!"

She started bobbing around next to him, to try and get him to join in.

She could tell that he wanted to be her bestest buddy. She grinned widely at him.

For a moment, Kiri was too enraged to speak. Maybe it was the condescending tone that the professor used when he addressed her, hand-waving her question away like a bad conjurer. Or his... critical research failure when it came to meteors. She opened her mouth to let him know just how much of an idiot he was, but stopped herself just in time. Idiot or not, he was still a teacher, and as such could make life inventively miserable for her.

"How long does our... telescope have to be, Professor?" she asked, as politely as she could manage. She bent down and picked up a few of the toilet paper rolls. She stripped the rolls of the paper and then, bending each cardboard roll slightly so that it fit into the end of the next one. She repeated this a few times, grumbling mutinously under her breath. Then she was done; she'd created a length of cardboard made up of several rolls.

This sorry excuse for a telescope, however, did not improve her mood by an instant. She glared at the professor - which would, Kiri was forced to admit, have looked more impressive if she weren't covered in toilet paper. If he was going to brush her off with another "There, there"-sort of speech, she was probably going to set a new blood pressure record. "But Professor, we really don't need a telescope," she tried again, unwisely. "That's the whole point of the term 'meteor'," she continued, twisting the cardboard tube in her hands. "They're visible streaks of light in the atmosphere. And meteor showers are big enough that you don't need any equipment to watch them." She wondered vaguely how much of an astronomy expert this person really was. "They're only a few dozen kilometres up. That's not... 'very far away'." The quotation marks were clearly audible - and in good company with the sarcasm in Kiri's voice.

K began to make her telescope from the rolls she liked that the professor thought the dresses where pretty, Also she didn't really get why they needed the telescopes for the shower anyways. "Professor can't we see the meteors anyways with our own eyes." K asked

Jack looked down at his two cardboard rolls, back at the professor, and then down at his rolls again. He wasn't exactly sure he agreed on that logic--just cause it was really long didn't mean it could see very far...after all, these were just cardboard loo rolls. There weren't any magnifying components to the device at all! Still, he wasn't going to put a damper on the mood, so he crumpled one up just a bit and managed to jam it into the other one. Ehh. It was good enough. Jack was still grinning like a loony, though, because this lesson was SOOOO much more fun than Borr's lesson, and if he got points for his lame little telescope, he was all for it.

Now could he color on it with crayons!?!

"Destiny?" Evelyn said, looking at the rolls she was sticking together and then to her. "You...are...a...genius!" she whispered while rubbing her hands together. It was still a bit chilly in there...

"Here, you can use these two as well." she said, handing Destiny the 'telescope' she made, and then trying to burrow into her cloak as much as she could.

LouAnn laughed as she watched Zoe run around and around with the toilet paper. "Woo!!! Alright, Zoe!" she called out, watching as the amount of toilet paper in her hand grew smaller and smaller. Finally, she was left with just a few small cardboard pieces. These would be the pieces she'd use to piece her telescope together.

"Umm...a sticking charm?" LouAnn suggested, making a slight face at the "poop glue" suggestion. It wasn't that the ideas wasn't funny or cool or anything like that, but...poo didn't cause things to stick together...and most of it was hardened anyway. Besides, LouAnn had no trouble skating through the stuff, as it was just touching her shoes anyway. Making a telescope out of it, though? Then...sticking her eyeballs to that telescope? No, no, no, no, no. Just...no.

Reaching out her other hand to touch it, Wesley pulled back before contact at the same time Jake gasped, automatically apologizing, "Sorry!"

Quizzically, the small girl searched his face as he tried to wave the comment away. Jake wasn't a liar...but just because it meant nothing to him didn't mean it meant nothing to her.

About to say something, she stopped, mouth still open, her eyes following the motion of Jake's hand and toilet paper roll. Oh! So that's what we're supposed to do. Looking around her, the Wesley grabbed another roll, beginning to unwind the paper, twisting it around her hands. Her nails where slightly brown from the- Nails. Hands. Cleaning. Jake. Bad hand.

Catching the train of her thought Wesley shook her head, blinking, and turned her face to look back at the 3rd year, stating what she had meant to say earlier.

"W-why haven't you seen the nurse Jake? Ms. Melita- she'll give you cookies, and..." Wesley paused, trying to think of an incentive better than food, "And what are you going to do when your good hand's been hit by a Bludger, and you have to catch the Snitch?"