This seemed like an awful waste of toliet paper. Not to mention, the dude had probably summoned all the toliet paper in the school to make sure that everyone in the class had a roll of cardboard so--he didn't want to think about what kind of tricky situations he could be in later when he went to use the loo. This was FUUUUUUUUUUNNNN so he tried to forget about all that other stuff. A FUN ASTRONOMY CLASS! CALL THE NEWSPAPER!

He unrolled all the paper and used it to create a nice, clean circle for him to stand in amongst all the POOOOOOO.

Everyone seemed to be in such a funky mood. The professor was also still covered in droppings which was pretty gross on many levels. Zoe had thankfully avoided touching him so far and hoped that he wouldn't give them any other 'opportunities' to do so.

How in the world were they going to make telescopes using toilet paper rolls? Maybe the new nutty astronomy professor was really gifted in transfiguration.

Just then she heard LouAnn yell out and saw something white sailing through the air in her direction. Catching the toilet paper roll she smiled and decided to let her guard down a little bit. Putting the end of the roll on her finger she started twirling around in a circle so that the toilet paper started to wrap around her body from head to foot.

"Toliet Paper? Well, I guess the professor has the right idea, but wouldn't a hot shower be more efficient and a lot more fun.

Suddenly toliet paper is flying in from everywhere. Abby ducks down when the first roll heads her way, but the second one hits her in the back of the neck. She grabs it before it hits the floor. Unwind the toliet paper and make a dress or chair??? This guy must live in the twilight zone. Why do I sound like a muggle TV Guide? Abby unrolls the toliet paper. With the wind blowing in, the paper flies everywhere. When the roll is empy, she hold it up to her eye. "With the right magnifying lens, it might just work."

Marie was standing there urolling all the toilet paper from her roll, just unrolling and unrolling and unrolling. It seemed like there was no end to this roll. She was getting rather bored with all this unrolling, that is until she looked up an noticed another student looking like a mummy. She couldn't tell who the other student was since she could only see her (or his) eyes, nose and mouth. 'Oooohhh, that looks like fun' Marie thought as she watched the toilet paper wrap itself around the other student.
Thinking this would make a perfect picture for muggle studies Marie carefully took out her camera to take the picture. 'Hold it steady now, you don't want to drop it in all this poo and ruin all your pictures' she thought to herself. Marie quickly took the picture of the mummy, umm girl (or was it a boy) just as she (or he) spun around and faced her.
"Hi, I'm Marie, I hope you don't mind that I just took your picture. You look so funny I thought it would make a great photgraph." Marie said to the other student as she carefully put her camera away.

'Yeah, that's exactly what I want; a pretty dress made out of toilet paper.' The sarcasm in Destiny's voice was noticeable as she started to unwind the rolls of toilet paper.

Slightly turning to Evelyn and giving a sigh, Destiny said 'I think clean hands are the the least of his worries. What kind of telescope can we make out of these?' Destiny had one hand full of toilet paper and the other held an empty roll. She was definitely enjoying this class less and less each minute.

Evelyn, who was leaning on a clean part of the wall out of boredom, was making circles in the air with her finger in front of a roll of toilet paper that was hovering and unrolling itself. Turning her head slightly to Destiny who was talking to her, she suddenly stood up straight, grabbing the roll of paper and started unwinding it manually. "Hmm, i don't know." she said, staring at the now little roll of cardboard, grimacing. 'Have fun with that Ev.' the voice said, laughing.

Flipping it to the side, she peered through the hole and to the white tissue on the ground. "Huh." Raising her eyebrows, she brought the cardboard roll up to her right eye, and squinted her left eye, trying to see more clearly through it before whispering to Destiny, "You know... I'm kinda missing Professor Borr."

This man.... was officially crazy.

Oh, the toilet paper came, sure enough. In roll over roll that soared right into the room, it arrived, and Fyodor Balouch's pupils were huge with disbelief. Then the disbelief shrivelled up, compressed itself and faded, and he was laughing, laughing before he could stop himself. It was low laughter, the kind that one not in immediate range of the young Gryffindor would not be able to hear, but it was laughter nevertheless and [contrary to what you might think] it was not hysterical, but merry.

Like they say, he thought to himself. If you can't beat 'em - join 'em.

"Nice replacements for stars, Professor Perry," he thought to himself with a wide grin, and he raised his right hand high, and caught a [very clean and VERY SHINY!] roll of toilet paper as it flew over his head, and the tissue began to unpack, slide off its roll like, easy as a breeze. "And they even shine," he thought with a humoured shake of his head, as the paper continued to unwind at a most dizzying velocity, its surface reflecting sunlight. "How... shiny-?" Hehehe. Sorta!

Then, the clean roll of tissue paper snug in his lap, the fourth year retrieved his beloved camera [photographs were such warm, exciting prospects] from his school-bag and, raising it high above his head, snapped a shot of the insides of the classroom. The photo slid out with a click, a perfect, very, very alive snapshot of toilet rolls whizzing through the air at breakneck speed and, the grin not fading from the corners of his mouth, Fyo slipped it into his bag.

Toilet rolls, ahoy!

Kiri glanced upwards. Yep, the owls were apparently smarter than the students; they'd all disappeared. Eyeing the replacement professor, she wished she was able to do the same. While Kiri had to credit him with not being Borr - which said something about the state of this lesson - he still seemed to be connected to Astronomy, and maybe reality as well, only by accident. She usually preferred those teachers who were easy-going and friendly, but this person was a clown.

She jumped as the door burst open and a giant mass of white toilet paper rolls came flying into the room. Wherever they landed on the floor, they began unfolding generously in long rows, their immaculate colour immediately turning icky and grubby. At first, Kiri wasn't sure she'd understood the professor correctly. And when she did, she hoped she hadn't. They were going to build telescopes out of toilet paper rolls?

The wildly tumbling rolls caused the air to be filled with dust particles. Kiri clamped her mouth shut. It was a good idea not to think too much about what exactly the stuff floating through the air was. They were in the Owlery, after all.

A toilet paper roll bounced off her head. That did it. Kiri stomped her foot, causing her to nearly slip in something horrible, and raised her hand. "Professor," she forced her voice to be calm, "why are we... trying to make telescopes out of toilet paper rolls? Surely you know we don't need any to watch a meteor shower."

Miranda looked at the toilet people- eh, paper, with a grimace. It was oh so poopy in here and she did not want to touch the poopy paper!

Scuttling over to the entrance, sliding a few times, she managed to stand her ground as the one paper rolls flew towards her and caught three in her arms.
Grinning with her triumph (pfft, she was a Chaser after all), Miranda walked over to her last spot and began to unroll the paper, shoving it into her robes so it didn't touch the floor. Soon, she was looking like a fat...little student person. Snort.

When Miranda was done, she looked around the classroom. People were making stuff. Either protecting their shoes by putting paper on the poop, or making themselves accessories to put in their hair.
Even if this class wasn't actually practicing what it promised, Miranda could not ignore the fact that students were letting their minds work to their advantage.

Creativity...

...which was another part of the Hogwarts experience - letting your mind grow with unlimited imagination.
With a big grin, Miranda wobbled towards an empty chair, which was basically as poop covered as anything else in this room. Well, exept for the Owls... I think.
She reached for her camera in her backpack, still safe on her back, and aimed the lens to a general point in the room, getting the kids with their newly made-up mummy clothes and protection gear.
*flAsh*

Awesooooome!

Actually, Miranda thought she'd stay up here. It was rather less smelly in this spot.

Winnie pursed her lips. Ohh, someone was displeased with the state of the lesson. She supposed she had to agree on one level - held in the chilly Owlery in the winter, amongst copious owl droppings, loo rolls all over the place. But it was unconventional, ehhh? The man was obviously Not Home Upstairs, and they could get away with being a little zany in this class, and despite the shiny badge on her lapel, Winnie was a fan of ALL ZANINESS. Especially if it involved fashion.

"Are we supposed to be watching a meteor shower?" Winnie wondered aloud. "I'm having much more fun with this loo roll thing, I daresay. Come, dear. It's not so bad, eh? I'm making bows!" She held one up proudly.

Winnie jumped and blinked as a flash went off. OH someone was taking a PHOTO!! But BUGGER IT ALL, she hadn't been ready yet!

"Wait a moment, wait a moment!" She stood up and straightened her robes and the toilet paper bow in her hair. She shook her shoulders slightly, brushed back her hair from her face, and placed one hand on her hip and ruffled her skirt with the other. She turned her face to the right and grinned. "Do it again - this is my good side!"

"Okay this is getting werid a dress made out of toilet paper, like I need one. This professor is getting werider by the moments. What where we to do next sing songs all class." K thought to herself. Good thing it was not out loud becuase then the professor may get ideas and this turn into a circus well it sort of is already but well that can be Hogwarts classes for you sometimes I guess. K then went to pick up the toilet paper and start making a dress of sorts.

Staring at her muck-covered shoes, Wesley was trying to imagine she wasn't at the very top of the school. She was on the ground floor, and if she looked outside any of the windows she could see snow. She could touch the snow because it was that close to her. And if she wanted to, she could jump out the window and not die.

It was lovely.

The tiny girl was so enrapt in her dreamworld, that she jumped at the touch of someone's hand on her shoulder, and slipped a bit on the owl droppings. Wildly, she grabbed the hand, stabilizing herself. "S-sorry!" she whispered, dark brown eyes wide, then, taking in the figure, smiled slightly as she realized it was Jake. "Thanks," Wesley added. Because he couldn't be over here with her due to his fear of heights. Jake was on the Quidditch team after all, and Quidditch players can't be scared of anything. So he had to be here because he was her...friend.


Back to pretending she wasn't a couple meters away from death, Wesley was caught off guard by the sudden barrage of toilet paper roles that landed on top of her (seeing as she was near the center of the room). Letting out a yelp, she struggled to pulled herself out, dirty feat sticking to the paper.

At last, finally free, the Hufflepuff took a deep, shaky breath, trying to become focused. Wait. What are we supposed to do? She hadn't been paying attention. Wesley turned to ask Jake but he wasn't there. Oh dear! Is he still in the toilet paper? "J-jake?! A-are you a-all right?!" she called, pulling out roles from the mound.

Well... that had been an unpleasant surprise. Jake had been smiling at Wesley's reaction ad was about to speak when the toilet paper came out of nowhere and landed on and around them.

"Puh!" Jake exclaimed, as the end of one of the rolls flapped in front of his face. Next thing, Jake had sneezed and the sudden force had made his small body fly back a little and he fell to the floor.

It probably might have been a heavy landing, not to mention unpleasant, had there not been a layer or two of the toilet paper rolls there to break his fall. Of course, then there was a whole barrage of the stuff coming to bury him alive, but at least toilet paper was soft.

The horrible texture was making Jake want to scream out and, through gritting teeth, the boy made a sound of shock, before thrusting his hand out into the open, as if to say, 'Right here!'

Samson was right? Hahaha. HE WAS RIGHT. Nyaaah.

Ahem. Anyway. He watched the strange, poo-covered professor with fascination as he just stood by the doorway, away from the poop and glowering owls that weren't in favor of the disturbance of their home. Then, the professor offered his fist for a fist bump. Yes, Samson would have taken up that offer - he even raised his fist - but then quickly thought against it because of the poop. No, he was staying clean no matter what.

And then. And then. WOOSH. Toilet paper came rushing in through all the windows and openings of the Owlery from Merlin knew where. He had to duck and jump a few times to avoid the onslaught of white loorolls being summoned towards the professor, knocking over a few owl stands, even passing by some very angrily hooting and screeching owls. What a riot this was turning out to be, even more so that they were using toilet freaking paper as telescopes. This would be... interesting.

Samson proceeded to unroll two rolls of toilet paper at the same time shaking them vigorously off their cardboard tubes. WHEEE. By the time he was done, the toilet paper was up to his knees, and he started meshing them together to make a very sorry excuse for a telescope. It didn't even want to stand up. But it was... acceptable. Aww. What a waste of toilet paper.

He was sure that someone, somewhere, was sitting in the loo, in shock, because the toilet paper flew right out of his or her clutches. Mwaha.

Evan raised an eyebrow at the professor who fiercefully rejected the idea of repairing the telescopes. Maybe he too had lost his wand? Whatever his reason was, Evan liked the idea of building their own telescope, and he too joined to the "fists" and smiled encouragingly at the professor. If they would build their very own telescope, it'd worth the poop on his new and shineh Adidas. He waited to be instructed when the professor summoned toilet paper. Er... toilet paper? He looked confused at him, then a very childish idea occured, in which he didn't want to believe the bit. The professor really couldn't think that it'd work, right? But... ripping off the whole paper and using only the carton would mean only one thing... Looking at his toilet paper beside his shoes hesitantly, he raised his hand --like it would matter now-- and raised his voice to be heard over the ripping sound. "I'm just wondering..." Nah, he wouldn't call this clown a professor, because he apparently wasn't. "...you don't plan to stick the cartons together and looked through it, do you?" And yes, he was blaming all of it on him, for he was the responsible of this mess. His way of talking might cause trouble though even to this OH SO ECITED! professor, so he added after a few seconds with a apologising smile. "Sorry for this silly question. Just a thought of twelve-year-old child." Surely the... 'professor' wasn't that... childish?

Evan glanced once more at the toilet paper beside his feet. He looked around and saw that everyone was enjoying the task, so yeah, why not? He grabbed it and started ripping it off. Oh joy.

Lucille had spent the entire lesson so far with her hand clapped over her mouth, bent down slightly to stop from laughing.

Professor Perry was her FAVOURITE!

He was all bouncy!

She laaiiiiiked it!

Pahahahaha!

The compelsion to laugh was too much. It built up inside her like a raising bubble, untill -

"PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!"

She tried to reach for her loo roll, but it was too much.

She doubled over, sliding in poo as she did and was laughing so hard she thought she was about to explode.

She didnt even care that her slip had now covered her in poo. She didnt care that it covered her white hair. She was CRACKING UP!

"P-Pr-Professor!!" She gasped between side aching turrents of chuckles. "Professor, i-i i help m-me! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA" She colapsed once more into a fit of laughter, slipping again, and ended up sprawled on the ground.

Tears ran down her face, her eyes were red and screwed up in a now silent laughter.

Miranda had a very nice view from up here, she felt like a sea captain as she looked around, putting a hand on her brow as if shading her eyes from the sun. Yarrr-

"Whaza?" someone was adressing her? Looking down, Miranda noticed a girl...a PREFECT (*gaspeth*) straightening her robes and-
Miranda laughed at the girl's sudden pose. That would be a pretty fun picture.
"Oookaaay, just hold it thereeee," Miranda called out, trying to get the lens to focus on the model.

*flAsh*

Oops, hopefully no one was blinded by the flash. Miranda blinked. There were spots, white spots in the air. Wait, was the poop floating in the air?
"That was stellar!" she winked. Geddit? Stellar, because she looked great and it's astronomy? Geddit? Snort.

And...there's a girl, lying on the POOP, laughing. Haha
*fLASH*

"Heeey, Hufflepuff's don't roll on PooOP!" Ewwwwwwwwwwww

Plymouth moved to stand next to Professor Perry. Like, right next to him. Elbow to elbow. Plymouth LOVED a lot of the professors, most of them in fact. But this one... this one knew. He knew how to keep Plymouth engaged and totally focused and ready to LEARN about dinosaurs and toilet paper. "Sir. SIR. Professor P. HEHE. Watch this. Watch."

Plymouth took TWO rolls of toilet paper and stuffed the ends into his pockets. Then, he THREW the two rolls out of the open window. "GRAVITTTTTTYYYYYY!!!!! You SEE it??"

The white rolls falling, falling, falling and leaving a BEAUTIFUL trail of white papery glory in their path. "BEAUTIFUL!" Plymouth leaned out of the window and watched the rolls BOUNCE off the ground, the little cardboard pieces rolling away.

Hmmm. So Plymouth hadn't EXACTLY thought his plan to rid the rolls of their paper all the way through. But he was a WIZARD. "WIZARD!!!" Plymouth yelled before whipping his wand out and SUMMONING his two rolls. "WIZARD BEATS GRAVITY."

Flinging roles behind her, the Hufflepuff was making little headway as more toilet paper roles fell down from the top to fill in any empty spaces she created. Frustration was causing her hands to shake, It isn't possible to suffocate in there, is it?, which wasn't helping anything. Ready to change tactics and try something a bit more drastic, Wesley was interrupted mid-thought by a sudden noise of despair and some movement to her right. Jake!

Unsticking her knees and hands from the goopy mess, the tiny child ran over to the spot, and was greeted by a hand that had just found its way out. A Jake-sized hand.

"It's okay! I'll save you!" she yelled, the comforting effect of such heroic words ruined by her hysteric, uncertain voice. Grabbing the small hand in her equally tiny, but perhaps more sticky, own, Wesley braced her feat and PULLED.

Tammy opened her mouth to say something about the fact THEY WERE UNRAVELLING TOILET ROLL! Could Hogwarts NOT get any decent Astronomy teachers? EH? NOOOOO. It was her final year, and she was STUCK

UNRAVELLING FLAMIN' LOO ROLLL. HOW? WHY?
DID SHE EVEN DESERVE IT?
NOOOOOO.

In the end, she did giggle at the fact there was whit toilet roll flying around the room, and people were laughing about it. It seemed to have been fun then. Slowly, only slowly not too seem too eager, Tammy picked at the end of the roll so it came unstuck from the rest of it, they had some sort of glue on them maybe.

AND then went on to proceed unravelling it, making it into a little pile on her desk.

AHAHAHAHAA.

Ahh. Yes.

See. That hand was mighty sticky, and Jake would have to go and wash his hands. Alot. And both hands because his hands were connected like, psychosomethingly.

As the hand pulled on his, Jake pushed himself up with his own might, emerging from the toilet paper, looking rather surprised.

When he was standing on his own two feet, Jake rubbed the back of his neck with his cleeeeeean hand, and looked around.

"Well," he said, looking back at Wesley and smiling. "That was... rather fun."

Except for the poo-hand. Ewwwww. Jake grabbed a roll of toilet paper and began to unravel some, pulling his hand from Wesley's and starting to wipe it clean.

And Wesley's too.

Because he was a Gentlejake.

Satine really wasn't sure how this was going to help them with Astronomy...I mean a reparo charm would've repaired the telescopes at the bottom of the tower...but nonetheless she started unrolling toilet paper....she remembered something she had seen muggles do once and glanced at the professor...after thinking that he was nutty enough to enjoy it...

She threw her toilet paper roll into the air so that it wrapped around a beam...

She yelled, "LOOK OUT BELOW!!!!" as her empty toilet paper roll came falling from the sky!

....and instantly she had a toilet paper streamer hanging from her hand over the beam to an empty toilet paper roll...

It looked amazing and it got the job done....she looked around encouraging others to help her out...she was pretty sure the muggles called this toilet papering something...

Lucy was amazed at Professor Perry's imagination--TELESCOPES OUT OF TOILET PAPER???!!! This man was insane. Nevertheless, she grabbed a roll of the toilet paper and started unrolling it.

"Wow, this seems like such a waste, think about all the trees!! Maybe we should save the toilet paper, and put it back in the bathrooms or something?" Lucy suggested to no one in particular.

She continued to unroll the toilet paper until the roll emerged. She folded the toilet paper neatly (and used some if it to get the poop off of her shoes) and waited for more instructions.

It appeared that not only had Wesley grown a bit taller over the summer, she had gained some muscles as well. Or at least, she liked to imagine it that way and would definitely be doing some bicep examinations after class. To have pulled Jake out so easily- WOW!

Glad that she was looking directly at Jake- because you could never be certain that someone's hand was someone's hand until you saw the rest of them- Wesley nodded, face serious, to his comment. Quidditch players where so brave! If Jake thought that had been fun, then, well, the small girl was having a hard time picturing what he thought was scary.

As her mind began to attempt to imagine such situations, Wesley was pulled out of it quickly by a tickling sensation on her right palm. Giggling, she looked down at the source of the tickling, surprised to see Jake scrubbing away at the muck.

"S-stop J-jake!" she giggled, "Th-that's n-na-" Wesley was about to say nasty because it wasn't his own poop, and even then, you should really never touch any poop whether it is yours or not, when her eyes lit on the hand that was doing the wiping.

"Oh Jake! Your hand!"

Smirking at Wesley's giggling, Jake continued to wipe the girl's hand clean, suddenly gasping when she said something about his hand.

Honestly, Jake kept ignoring the pain from his broken hand, as he'd always learned to channel it elsewhere. But, as always happens when you pay attention to pain, he began to feel it fo' sho' as the girl pointed it out.

"Oh," he muttered, examining the purple knuckles and bruised flesh, beginning to start trying o bend his fingers before stopping. "S'nothing..."

In order to kind of... divert the attention from his hand, Jake picked up a cardboard roll that had previously been hidden inside a roll of paper, and lifted it to his eye (with his good hand, of course) and thereby making a... kind of telescope?