He was FLUSTERED. PANTS HE WAS. Raiden eyed the girl standing in front of him like she was a foreign, unknown person. When had he gotten as tall as her? She was... staring... at him... and it was making his stomach go all RAAWR and flippy and gosh it was getting warm here...

"A secret?" he managed, barely able to draw a breath through all his racing thoughts, thoughts that really amounted to about nothing at all because they were so blurry and running into each other and splintering off. "What is it?"

"You can't tell anyone." Celandine told him, "You have to promise and not because you like like me, you have to promise because we are friends." She tugged his arm and led him over to a bare patch of wall, settling herself on the ground and patting the floor beside her.

"Why would I tell anyone your secrets, Cela?" Raiden mumbled, kinda glad when she stepped back and tugged his sleeve. Sitting next to her wasn't nearly as brain-smiting as standing so close to her, face-to-face. He sank to the floor next to her, breathing again thank Merlin, and looked at her carefully. Crush... crush... it sounded like such a bad word, why had they picked that one? It was synonymous with squashing, which was never a good thing... "What is it? I promise, I'd never tell anyone anything you didn't want me to. Even if I-" -gulp- "-like like you."

"Well..." Celandine looked around and flicked her wand from her holster, casting almost at the same instant, "Mufflato!" Better.

She reholstered her wand. "Well, I kind of... like... more than just Plymouth. And... maybe... this other person, they might like like me too. I tried really hard not to think about... things." She was thinking about it now. Cela blushed. "I even tried taking a potion so that I wouldn't like like him anymore. But it didn't work and I can't stop thinking about... things!"

Made perfect sense to Cela.

Raiden twitched. Apparently having more than one crush was allowed, if Cela was doing it. She liked more than Plymouth? Who was the more? And she was blushing now and his own face started turning red again as well. This was all so CONFUSING. Girl allergies were so much easier to handle...

"You took a potion?" he murmured distractedly, trying to process this information. Not much was sticking very well now, because of the sudden overload of ZOMG, but... "Who is it? Can you tell me? And what do you mean, things? Like... that you like him, things?"

...wait. There was a guy that was always hanging around Celandine besides Plymouth, wasn't there? The... brother?

"I took... a..." Oh, embarassing! "De-lusting potion on account of... well I want to kiss him all the time and... stuff."

It wasn't a normal thing for Cela to get embarassed about anything. Nothing that is, except Copernicus Kettleburn.

"I shouldn't... say anything. Plymouth knows sort of. I... things like kissing and hugging and holding hands and stuff."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Celandine

"I took... a..." Oh, embarassing! "De-lusting potion on account of... well I want to kiss him all the time and... stuff."

It wasn't a normal thing for Cela to get embarassed about anything. Nothing that is, except Copernicus Kettleburn.

"I shouldn't... say anything. Plymouth knows sort of. I... things like kissing and hugging and holding hands and stuff."

De-lusting potion... Well, that was one thing he'd never heard of. But it was possibly the source of her odd behaviour the past few days, wasn't it... He bit his bottom lip and leaned his head back against the wall, trying to think. Cela didn't seem very happy about having a crush on whoever it was, and it made him sad to see her sad.

"Cela..." He couldn't think of anything to say. Where had all his supportive thoughts and words gone? "I still don't get the whole crazy about kissing thing, it's..." Wait, wrong words. Supportive, not... critical. Because that's what it felt like he was being, critical. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, I'm just trying to get my brain to work right and everything's all... muddled..."

"Oh but the kissing is wonderful!" Celandine sighed. "It's just that... Plymouth... I really like Plym a whole bunch and I don't know what to do or anything! I just don't know! I don't want to hurt anyone! It's just all so confusing, like out of nowhere last term," In her third year and all, "Boys just... well Anna says there are boys and then there are boys and..." Cela half-flailed against the wall. "And Nico says that I have to follow my heart... what does that even mean? How do I know if it is my heart leading me places or if its... other things? It's definitely not my head, if it was my head I'd be happy happy HAPPY with Plymmy on account of he's so nice and he kisses good and gives good snuggles..."

Well.

At least Raiden now knew that he wasn't alone.

He couldn't help but grin at her insistence that kissing was wonderful. "Maybe for you, but I don't see much point in it... It just doesn't seem like... a thing... to me."

This was the bad thing about crushes and love and all that stuff, wasn't it... Celandine was stuck in the middle, and no matter how hard he thought about it, or how hard SHE thought about it, there was no way out that ended with everyone being happy and not hurt. And now he felt bad as well, because there was a nagging little voice saying that his crush might complicate things a little more for her. She was already so confused, and now she'd been the one to tell him that he had a crush on her...

"How do you make this all go away?" he mumbled, more to himself than to her. "It's just... complicated..." He looked at her. "I'm afraid to say anything, because... I don't want to make it worse for you. I like when you're happy and bouncy and excited. I like that. I want you to be able to be like that all the time, Cela. But this... it's..."

"Well you have to try it before you can say something like that Rai-Rai. I used to think it was ew too, and Nico did a LOT of kissing and I'd see him kiss girls and... yeah. Ew." Celandine bit her lip.

"Sometimes the kissing makes it all go away, you don't really think about other things while you are kissing someone. Not when it's someone you like like."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Celandine

"Well you have to try it before you can say something like that Rai-Rai. I used to think it was ew too, and Nico did a LOT of kissing and I'd see him kiss girls and... yeah. Ew." Celandine bit her lip.

"Sometimes the kissing makes it all go away, you don't really think about other things while you are kissing someone. Not when it's someone you like like."

Aaah, the memory of Nicholai in the common room flooded back into his head when she mentioned her brother kissing girls. He'd... slid very nearly all the way under the table then, hadn't he. There had been... touching and all sorts of things that still made him feel squirmy.

"Trying it doesn't seem like something that's bound to happen anytime soon," he said, smirking and laughing slightly at his own words. "And I think we both agree on ew when we remember Nicholai Toussaint kissing girls, don't we..."

Kissing someone you like liked made things... go away? Probably only for the time when you were kissing that person... but... at least it was something, wasn't it. One little way to make your brain a little less confused for a moment, even if it meant being more confused afterwards...

"If I were you," he whispered, "I would probably spend a lot of time kissing then. Being so confused... probably hurts, doesn't it."

It hurt him, at the very least. Being confused wasn't fun at all. And it wasn't nearly as bad for him as it was for her.

"I did over the summer." Celandine agreed with a little sigh. "Only person I've kissed lately is Varius Tipps and that was actually him kissing me and he didn't do it properly anyway." Cel wrinkled her nose, "And he doesn't even like like me."

On account of Varius Tipps like liking Moaning Myrtle.

"But you like like more than just me? Why don't you try the kissing thing too? I mean it's a bit different to my problem... you wouldn't be hurting anyone, right?" Celandine tipped her head to one side, curious to know who else Raiden like liked.

Raiden frowned. How did one not kiss properly? Wasn't it just as it looked whenever he saw people doing it? Just... lips and lips. That was it?

"How can someone not kiss properly?" he blurted, wishing immediately that he could take those words back. Snatch snatch snatch, and he wouldn't feel stupid. But alas... "And why would you kiss someone that doesn't like like you?"

Eeeep. He wasn't even sure it was like like with his other 'crush'. While with Cela, everything was still horribly warm and awkward, he was able to get comfortable with Kiri. Maybe he was actually allergic to her? He wasn't sure... he'd have to see her again. But kissing her? What if she didn't like like him? What if both of his -gulp- crushes didn't like like him, and he was just a big bag of unrequited like like?

"I don't think she'd want to kiss me," he said finally, eyes straying to the ceiling in an attempt to look anywhere but at her. "It might hurt her, I don't know. I don't know if she like likes me as well... after all, just because I might like like her doesn't mean it's reciprocated automatically."

Like this. Like us. It was obvious that his crush was one-sided in this particular situation, which kinda... made his heart hurt oddly. Not in the way it did when he was having an attack. This hurt a little bit more, in a different way. Different enough for him to know that he didn't need a calming draught for it.

"Well... I don't even know how to explain it... except the candy thing. It's not something you can explain, it's just something you do. You just have to do it and then you know." Cela thought about this for a moment and finally looked at Raiden. "Maybe you should just go and kiss her anyway. Because that's what Plym did... and now..." Well, maybe that wasn't the best example. But if Cope hadn't been involved... well if Cope hadn't been involved nothing would have come of it in the first place.

Raiden made a face. Kiss Kiri even if she didn't like like him? That seemed a little unfair to her. And what if she didn't want to be friends with him after that?

This crush thing could... really make things complicated, couldn't it.

"I don't know," he sighed, scratching his head as he tried to think. "I don't know if I want to find out if she like likes me, cos if she doesn't... it would hurt, you know? To find out." Oh. Oh he was just the king of tact today. Putting one hand over his face, Raiden groaned. He was just... so stupid, wasn't he. "I mean... that is..." Different subject... go back to the candy thing. "I think I know what you mean with that candy thing now though... kind of. I dunno if it's the same thing, though... because..."

He sighed and tried to think. How did he explain this?

"With you... everything's fire, like I said before. Like... dangerous and heat and mysterious... like you could destroy everything if you wanted to, you could burn it all down in an instant with just one touch, but you don't, because someone might come along to put it out." He looked at her. "And with her... it's like lightning. Everything's tingles and zaps and it feels just as dangerous but... somehow it doesn't, and it's less mysterious because there's always some warning... a storm before it hits, you know?"

Possibly it felt less dangerous because Cela had a boyfriend that could kill him, whereas Kiri didn't? Maybe?

"I've never liked anyone that hasn't liked me back." Celandine answered, cocking her head consideringly. She twisted a strand of hair about her finger and looked at him.

"I'm fire?" So... she consumed things and burned things but also... warmed things? And... err... cooked things? So something had to fuel her right? And... contain her?

But lightning... well that made her think of Cope. Not cos he was lightning to her, but because lightning was his boggart and all. "Lightning is more dangerous than fire." Cela told him, "With fire, you might get burnt but with a burn comes a lesson, with lightning... they say it never strikes twice but if it hits you, you'll never forget it."

Aaaand Celandine wasn't intending to be deep or anything, but if it meant something for Raiden, then that was all good.

His stomach suddenly felt... bad. Raiden pulled his knees up and rested his chin on them, trying to think again. It wasn't working properly, his brain. His body. His existence in general, at the moment.

"Lucky you," he said softly, smiling. "It doesn't surprise me, actually. Because you're... you."

Yes. She was fire. As if to prove this fact, Raiden reached over and put his hand squarely on top of hers. His entire arm seemed to burn just beneath the skin, invisible flames ignited by her skin touching his. It wasn't unpleasant... if this was what burning felt like, he understood why Wendelin the Weird had liked it so much.

"You don't feel that, do you?" he murmured, staring at the opposite wall; looking at her right now would probably make his head go all fuzzy, and he was just starting to sort out thoughts again. "It doesn't hurt, at least. It feels odd and exciting and weird and scary all at the same time."

Lightning being more dangerous than fire actually threw him for a moment. Because... Kiri wasn't dangerous at all. Cela was the one that did all the things that were dangerous and life-threatening. Kiri seemed... afraid of a lot of stuff, actually.

"So you're safer for me than she is?" he said wryly, smiling slightly. "That's a surprise, considering you're the one that wants to ride the Whomping Willow..."

"I feel... you." Celandine answered, but her breath did not catch in her throat or anything like that. "You are warm." she smiled at him and then sighed.

"Everyone wants to have people like like them, but it's super hard. I wish I could like like everyone back because I don't want to hurt anyone ever. It would be easier if boys didn't look at me like... well... like they are cold and want me to warm them up." She sniffed.

"I don't think Copernicus would like it if I did that." Celandine answered the whomping willow comment thoughtfully, "But I still want to, I might just not tell him."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Celandine

"I feel... you." Celandine answered, but her breath did not catch in her throat or anything like that. "You are warm." she smiled at him and then sighed.

"Everyone wants to have people like like them, but it's super hard. I wish I could like like everyone back because I don't want to hurt anyone ever. It would be easier if boys didn't look at me like... well... like they are cold and want me to warm them up." She sniffed.

"I don't think Copernicus would like it if I did that." Celandine answered the whomping willow comment thoughtfully, "But I still want to, I might just not tell him."

"Of course I'm warm," he said matter-of-factly. "I'm alive, aren't I?"

Of course everyone wanted someone to like like them back. That was the point of it, wasn't it? Sure, he was new at it, but still... That was the point, wasn't it?

"If you like liked everyone who like liked you, then... it wouldn't mean anything special though, would it. It's sad that people get hurt, but... It can't really be avoided, can it? Because... you can't help liking who you like, it seems, and sometimes the person you like doesn't like you back." He took his hand back and finally looked at her. "Do they all look at you like that?" Wait... "Do I look at you like that? I hope I don't..."

Copernicus wouldn't like her riding the Willow, huh. Well... Raiden didn't think it was a really safe idea either, but sometimes the things that were the most fun weren't entirely safe. Didn't Copernicus understand that?

"I think he might notice, Celandine," he said. "If you ride the Willow... will he be mad after the fact? Even if you come back all in one piece and happy and stuff?"

"Right. I tried to help it. I did. But I can't. I really..." Cela sighed and closed her eyes, lip wibbling. "Lots of people do. You do a little bit but also you look at me like... something else on account of we are friends and that is more important, right? And... Plym looks at me like I'm the sunshine and he's a plant that always wants to turn to face me... Copernicus... sometimes... I... he..." That wasn't something she could entirely put into words.

"I don't really know. He worries a lot. More than you do even."

Jane ran into the corridor. She had stopped for a moment to turn back and see Christian white as snow. He looked very sick and was probably hurting from whatever his 'dad' was trying to do to him. She had to get him to Professor Lawson right away!! Jane put his arm over her shoulder to support him. He wasn't looking very well.

She saw Cela and stopped for a brief moment to ask.

"Cela!Have you seen Professor Lawson?"

Christian held his head as the voice inside it kept repeating "Christian come to me son. Come join me we have evil to do." He put his hands to his head to try to stop the voice. Tears were running down his pale cheeks. "I can't make him stop. Jane make the voice stop please!" Christian whimpered.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Celandine

"Right. I tried to help it. I did. But I can't. I really..." Cela sighed and closed her eyes, lip wibbling. "Lots of people do. You do a little bit but also you look at me like... something else on account of we are friends and that is more important, right? And... Plym looks at me like I'm the sunshine and he's a plant that always wants to turn to face me... Copernicus... sometimes... I... he..." That wasn't something she could entirely put into words.

"I don't really know. He worries a lot. More than you do even."

Ack. The lip wibbling... Raiden looked away very quickly as his stomach did a little flip. Lip wibbling wasn't something he was really... prepared to watch Cela do. It meant that she wasn't happy and unhappy Cela was... sad.

"I'm sorry..." He rubbed his temples; his head was threatening to explode. "I don't mean to do it, if it's... any consolation." He frowned. "Copernicus looks at you like what?"

And Copernicus worrying more than he did? Well that didn't seem humanly possible. Maybe Copernicus had super worrying powers? It was really the only excuse for worrying so much...

"Well... in the end, all I want is for you to be happy," he said with a sigh. "Because if you're happy, then I'm happy. Okay? And I'd do anything you ask to help you be happy." He smiled. "That's what friends are, right? And as long as you're my friend... I want to help you be happy." He looked at her, face uncharacteristically serious. "It's just... I don't really know how. That and your... love for doing things that could lead to injury or death... are enough to make anyone worry a lot."

Jane didn't know what to do!!!She turned him to face her. Think!Of your happiest moment. Think of it!She hoped that would help even a tiny bit. Him whimpering was killing her. She turned to the rest of the students, they did not look any older than her. They probably didn't know what to do with Christian,either. Jane hugged Christian really tight.

Remember...Great Hall.. you asked how I knew you. Remember ... the lake.She could only help him think of sweeter stuff, now, while waiting for Cela to tell her where Professor Lawson was.

Christian thought of his happiest moment. When he gave her his cross. He forced the memory to fill his head as he slumped against the wall. his head in his hands. He was more scared than he'd ever been. "Janey I'm scared." He whispered.