Celandine rolled over onto her back with a clatter, the bucket not cooperating particularly well. "He told you? I... I'm horrible..."

She breathed rapidly for a few moments, wondering if hyperventilating was any better than sobbing until she retched?

Cela couldn't really see so well and after a few seconds she realised it was because her eyes were welling up again.

"Told me to find you," Copernicus said gruffly, reaching for her in spite of his resolve. He paused with his hands in the air like a zombie-boy or something. Erm. Awkward. The hands returned to his knees.

"You're never horrible. Do you want to tell me? Or... hugs?"

"Nguuyyy hu-hu-hu-hhgggnnnnnnnuuuuhhhh." Celandine rolled onto her side, facing away from Copernicus and drew her feet into the foetal position, her body shaking. She pressed her cheek into the ground and did the weird sobbing thing some more. "I... he... ugh... hic... can't hug you."

As much as she wanted to.

Well, that just broke him. It was one thing to do the right thing and say good-bye, but it was entirely another to let her curl up in a ball and sob without doing anything about it. "Celandine!"

Cope slid down into a seated position, pulling Cela up into his lap. "Cela. Cela. Please. What happened?"

Cel found herself clinging to him and sobbing into his shoulder, making it all wet and icky. "I... broke up w-with Pl-plymouth. I hurt him. I hu-hu-hurt him!"

And... snuggling into Copernicus was an odd mixture of helpful and just... not.

Cope tangled his fingers in her hair unhelpfully as he tried to push the wet strands back from her face, and then tugged it a bit pulling his hand free. He was... so helpful, obviously. But what she said about Plymouth... the pieces all slid into place. Plymouth hurting and asking about Cope's promise, Cela upset.

"W-why... would you do that?" Merlin, she was supposed to be with Plymouth, right?

"Don't be mad at me!" Cela was stricken by the idea. "I... he... isn't water. He can't be... and I can't... he... he's my friend..." She sniffled against his shoulder again, unable to look at his face. "After... after... goodbye... " She sniffled again, "I... decided."

Cope was completely horror-stricken. Was she saying that she'd broken up with Plymouth because he didn't compare to HIM? Because of something he'd done? She was making it Copernicus's fault that Plymouth was in pain... something he'd suspected might happen anyway. And now that it had it felt SO bad. It felt like his own pain.

"But I was mean to you. I told you... mistake."

"It isn't you. It isn't your boggart!" Celandine shook her head furiously. "It isn't. It wasn't fair..." She trailed off, hearing that word 'mistake' again and immediately getting that same horrible sick feeling.

She let out a folorn little sigh.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, "I ruined everything."

"It IS my boggart," Cope's whisper was positively tortured. "Look at how I've hurt the two people I care about most at Hogwarts." He attempted to stroke her hair again, and it went a bit better this time. No tangled spots.

"You didn't ruin anything. Just... are you sure? Will this make you happy?"

Celandine shook her head. "If I wasn't smart and pretty and if I hadn't told Plym he had better hair than Cale Newell, none of this would have happened and you'd both be fine." She rested her head against his shoulder, not really aware that she was doing so.

"No. I'm not sure." Celandine answered quietly, "That's the reason though. I wasn't sure and I should have been sure."

There was truth in that. If Plymouth hadn't asked Cela first, the relationship between the three of them would be remarkably different. Cope put his chin on the top of Cela's head. "'If onlys' will only take you so far, and then they just make you regret."

He wanted to ask her not to regret him, but he didn't have the right. Plus, it would seem like a promise or a reconciliation, and now more than ever, they couldn't have that. "I don't know how to make things better for Plymouth. He just... likes you so much. No wonder he threw me out of the dorm room."

"I don't regret. Would... it be easier if I did, do you think?" Celandine asked thoughtfully, reaching her hand up to play with his hair.

"I..." Celandine shifted around in his lap so she could get her foot free to stamp it in consternation. Of course, her stamping foot happened to be stuck in a metal bucket.

CLANG.

"He isn't supposed to be mad at you!"

"He is mad at me, though," Copernicus told her with great distraction. For one... the hair thing. Whoa. For the other, her foot was in a bucket. Didn't see that every day.

He gently removed her hand from his head and slid her carefully out of his lap. "You have a bucket on your foot. Let me get it for you."

"But... how do I..." Wibble, "Make him... not mad?"

Cela slid from his lap and for some reason his mentioning that she had a bucket on her foot just really made it hit home how helpless the whole situation made her feel.

Hic.

"I-I-I have a," Hic, "a-a-a buck-et on my fo-o-ot!" She put her hands over her eyes and shifted slightly so that Cope could get the stupid metal bucket off of her.

Copernicus considered telling her to reconsider Plymouth. If she wasn't sure now, that didn't mean that she'd NEVER be sure. But he felt like there were too many people in the world telling Celandine Toussaint what to think and how to feel, and he'd long ago decided not to be one. Her opinions were so fascinating without his intervention.

"Maybe you can just show him that things haven't changed except in name. You're still friends, you can still spend time together. I can't speak for how he feels, but the hardest part for me would be thinking I'd lost you from my life completely, right?" He tugged the bucket gently from her foot and set it to the side. Actually, the hardest part was knowing you didn't have her heart and you never would.

I hope so. It would just be the kissing and hand holding and him calling me girlfriend... at least... for me." A thought suddenly kicked her in the temple and Celandine bit her lip while she watched Copernicus dislodge the bucket from her foot. "I... wasn't water for him, right?"

They didn't all have to go thirsty, right?

He looked at her mournfully, but it just... it was too hard to tell her how much Plymouth cared. She was hurting enough. "You know... how would you know what water tasted like if you'd only ever had something else to drink? How would you know that the only thing that really quenches your thirst and tastes so sweet when you're parched is that sip of water, if you never have any? So."

So what was he saying? He wouldn't lie to her, not about this. "So... I don't think you are Plymouth's water, but I don't think he knows it yet."

"I don't think so either." Celandine agreed quietly, biting her lip again and leaning over to rub her foot.

"I'm sorry..." Why was she apologising to Copernicus? He did look sad... "You can make it better. I think... unless he finds water, only you can do that. So... I'm sorry and I... I kind of want Plymouth hugs." Celandine realised, her thoughts jumping all over the place as much as her words did. "And... Nico hugs. And..." Water, of course.

And that was the reason she'd immediately tried to run away. Stupid bucket.

Sigh.

"Hm. I'll take care of it," Copernicus nodded, his attention completely on her now un-stuck foot as he watched her rub it. "I can do that for you. You should just relax, and I'll take care of everything." Ugh. She didn't want his hugs. That was okay, though, right? She shouldn't. He wouldn't give them even if she did want them.

"I didn't mean to hurt him." Celandine repeated, ignoring the fact that she'd hurt herself too. It had, on a subconcious level, come down to whether she wanted to keep hurting Copernicus or start hurting Plymouth. Not much of a choice.

She did relax a little though. "You always take care of everything." Cel flexed her foot back and forth, her nose wrinkling at how it twinged after being in the bucket.

Stupid bucket.

"Take care of you," Copernicus clarified. He took care of Cela and Plymouth, not just any old person. Most people didn't require his help, or if they did, it was beyond his notice.

"I know you were just doing... the right thing. Break-ups are hard, right? I've always heard they were really hard."

"Take care of me." Celandine echoed, trustingly. She knew that Copernicus could make everything right. For her, for Plymouth, for anyone.

The right thing.

UGH.

Sometimes Cela hated 'the right thing'. How the 'right' thing could feel wrong and vice versa was beyond her.

"Goodbyes are hard." Celandine agreed, biting her lip and giving Cope a little look. It had been a double whammy for her, after all.

"I completely hate them," Copernicus rubbed her foot carefully and then set it down in the dirt in front of him. "Why do they call them good, anyway? I would like to study the origin of that phrase to figure out whoever thought that goodbyes were... good. They're awful." He gave her the look right back, all heavy lidded and dark.

"You think...?" Ah, no. Bad Cope. Shut that line of thinking right down.

"Badbyes." Celandine agreed quietly, picking up the line of thought that she'd had earlier. She closed her eyes and remembered. It was not that it had been particularly long ago, but it had stuck with her this whole time, and while it had broken her heart to break up with Plymouth, merely saying goodbye to Copernicus had completely disintegrated it.

She blinked at her foot, almost jealous of the attention it was getting.

Stupid foot.

Celandine did not miss the look he gave her and her lp quivered a little nervously in response. "I do. Too much sometimes and not usually straight."

Thinking usually took a backseat these days.