Lucy turned her head as loud pops were heard. House elves! She loved house elves! But Lucy hadn't met these house elves yet. She looked at the house elf that seemed to hate all humans inhabiting the school. Wow, he's grouchy. She thought turning her head to look at the other house elf. He's so cute! She thought. And he brought cookies. Lucy eyed the cookies, she was going a very good job today.

Willow was about to question Evolette about WHY was Jack Fritzera was looking at her like that, as if the boy were expecting her friend to pounce on him at any second, when some ruddy creature appeared on the middle of the classroom.

Oh. It was a house elf.

Willow did not care much for elves. Except for the family one, of course, dear Cerulean.

And then the THING started to ramble about STINKY KIDS? She was NOT stinky. Granted, the same thing couldn't be said for half of the male population that pranced around Hogwarts, but still - she would not be talked like this by some ugly coloured creature!

Unfortunately for her, though, she was in the middle of a classroom and the sixth year very much doubted that Professor Truebridge would appreciate it if she started to bark ... things to the small creature.

As it was, though, Willow did say in a rather loud murmur, "How rude!"

Oh, but thankfully, there was a GOOD elf. What's-his-name ... Willow could not remember how was this one was called ... Schmoop! Right. "I'm here!" Called the girl lightly from her seat, a perfectly charming smile dancing all around her rosy lips. "I'm a Ravenclaw!"

... What? She wanted cookies.

Algamus' eyes shot at Schmoop, telling him to shut up. "Algamus yeses, is grouchy! He is being forced to be sitting with kidsies! Kids are STINKY. STINKY STINKY STINKY!" Algamus lectured back. "And the stinkuusest are Ravenclaws."

And then he stared down at the tray in his hands and snapped his fingers, the tray soon disappearing. "NO FOODSIES!" He snapped at the smaller and younger elf, snapping his fingers again, a broom popping up in his hands. "You is bad elvsies!" He told him, hitting the broom over his head. "We is not supposes to give the studentses cookies! They is in class, Schmoop! Idiot ELF!"

"Hello Anna, good to see you." Ethan paused and his eyes flicked to Georgia Mayes, "Oh yes, very... ah... cool."

"Ah... 'Yo' yourself, Terry, 'Yo' indeed." Ethan nodded at the Gryffindor and continued nodding as another appeared.

"Hello Jack." Ethan frowned, were there mice in here?

"Hello Lucy and Reese, Welcome." Truebridge greeted the Slytherin girls.






"Good day, Willow. As.. ah... well as can be expected." And Ethan cringed inwardly as George began talking...

you know, if you could call it that.


Congratulations?

"Ah... thank you?"

Ethan wondered a little absently if this woman was perhaps one of Kazimeriz' minions. It was possible and it would explain a lot. Really...

"Well..." Ethan paused and leaned in to speak quietly to George, "If you lose your temper and hurt any of my students I'll throw you out that window over there." He gestured at the window with his chin.

Nice day to be defenestrated, no?

"Alright class, This is Georgia Mayes, head of the Beings Division and she has... ah... agreed ever so nicely to help out in today's class...."


Stinky?

Ethan sniffed himself and frowned, he sort of smelled of flowers for some reason, hardly stinky.

"Today's lesson is about house elves, their history and how it fits with ours. Ah, thank you Algamus and Schmoop for coming along." Ethan nodded at the elves. "Those are some nice looking cookies, Schmoop. Perhaps you could offer them to the students? They are more than welcome to eat in today's class."

Becca was FURIOUS. Lainey's old classroom was flooded and they were now re-located to a tower. Uuuughhh. Lainey was not gonna like that at all. Nuh uh. If she knew her room was something similar to a swimming pool she would not be happy. Even though Becca already told her.

When Becca entered the room, she was baffled to find... house elves? What? Her thought process went something similar to this:

WHOA HELL-OOO there ... what are they doing here? ... Lainey said to stay away from house elves and that nothing good could come from them! ... "Don't eat house elf sweets given directly to you," she said, or something like that ... ewww, that one looks like death ... but that one is CUUUTE! AWWWWW!!

Becca waddled over to the one offering cookies. "You're cute," she grinned, taking the empty seat nearest the elf named Schmoop. "Are your cookies safe to eat? Miss Professor Lainey warned me about you guys and sweets." She recalled the brownies Becca had brought the woman and how cautious she was about making sure they were safe. Obviously there was a reason.

Schmoop's eyes narrow at Algamus and he squeaks in protest. "Algie is grouchies and is mean! There is hungry studentses! They is needing foods to keep them focused and you, Algamus, you is mean and GROUCHIES!"

He stares sadly at his hands where the tray no longer is, before hearing the Professor request that he share the cookies.

Tossing Algamus a snide smile, Schmoop yelps "HAH! Professor DOES want studentses to has cookies!" he says smugly, before snapping his fingers. CRACK! And the tray has reappeared, slightly disturbed.

"STUUUDENTSES!" sing Schmoop. "Professors says that students can has cookies!" He offers the tray first, of course, to the sweet Ravenclaw with the pretty smile. "Has a cookie," he says.

Then, Schmoop, smiling widely, offers the tray to all the studentses.

"All good studentes needs cookies to focus and do well in class, doesn't the studentses? Here, eat cookies!"

A class allll about House-Elves. Schmoop is happy.

"Algamus should be less grumpies," says Schmoop. "Children is nice and good and Algamus should sleep more!"

To the girl who has taken a seat near him, Schmoop smiles. "Sweets is ALWAYS good from House Elves," declares the elf. "House Elfses cooks the food for studentses and studentses eats it. House Elfs is good cooks! Here! Has a cookie! Is studentsy a Ravenalwww? Schmoop loves smart, brainy studentses. They is geniuses and bright and intelligent!"

Vanessa had been in her own little nerdy world whilst she waited for class to begin, and this mainly consisted of twisting her hair around her fingers. But as two pops occured in the room Vannie was pulled out of this world, and nearly ended up falling off of her cushion. She flailed around for a little, before regaining her balance, looking around, and hoping that nobody had noticed.
She looked back up at Professor Truebridge as he began speaking. Oh house elf history. That seemed interesting. But one of those little house elves was calling them all stinky. She was pretty sure she wasn't stinky....she did have blueberry perfume on.

"GEORGE!" She corrected quickly and angrily.

"George Mayes," she tried again. "Call me George, or Miss Mayes, I don't care. Don't EVER call me Georgia is that CLEAR?" She might not be able to do anything to them, but Bunny could, and besides, "I'd like to see you TRY to throw me out a window, Professor," she added between her teeth which were clenched in her best approximation of a smile.

It was a smirk.

As if he cared about his students at all.

The Ethan Truebridge she had known was entirely too self absorbed to care about anyone but himself. Except perhaps the theatre critics.

But his students were more or less safe.

He was not quite so secure.

GLAAAARE.

And UG! she had forgotten how nauseating Schmoop was.

Algamus... she kind of liked.

Algamus' jaw dropped as the professor gave permission to Schmoop to give cookies to the students. How could he?! He is a BAD professor. Algamus crossed his arms and glared at Schmoop.

Oh was he going to get a hard hit on the head when they leave here.

When he heard that the class was about elves, Algamus' head snapped up at the professor.

"WHATSIES?!! ELVSIES HISTORY?! NO! NO!" He yelled, shaking his hands together. "Elvsies only SERVE! That is whats elvises DO! We is having NO history! NONE!"

And then realizing that he was yelling at a professor, he clamped his hands over his mouth. "Ohhhh! Algamus is BAAAAD! Baaad!" With a snap from his fingers, a large iron appeared in his hands and Algamus began to smack his head with it.

"Bad Algie! BAD ALGIE!"

Aw, this one WAS cute! The way he talked was unbelievably wonderful and precious. "Not alllllways! Miss Professor Lainey wouldn't have something against you guys for no reason," she replied smugly, sticking her nose in the air. "And of course I'm a Ravenclaw. The best house around," she added in a whisper.

She turned her gaze to Truebridge. Hah. Lainey would NEVER have had a lesson about house elves. It would surely be a new experience to see them up close and ... mmm the smell of the cookies brushed past her. Should she take a cookie?

She did, and set it in her lap. She'd wait for a bit to see if the other students munching down fell over and died. If they did... she'd just throw her cookie at Truebridge. No big. Then Lainey would come back, take his job, and life would be fun again.

Yeah right.

House elvesss??

OMG Cam LOVED these creature/beings, they made SUCH good food for the students--he just adoooored the little elves. Such nice people they were. And one even brought cookieees! COOOKIES. He glanced at the other adult in the room, he hadn't recognized her. What was she doing here? Hmm?? SHE SEEMED MEAN. But BEINGS DIVISION? Ooooooh. She must have been like an expert and all.

And then the cookie. Cam wanted a cookie. Yes. But right before he could take one, another house elf... what was the house elf DOING exactly? OH MY. Hitting himself with an iron?! CRAZY. He... looked away! Was the house-elf KILLING himself?! NUUU. NU HOUSE-ELF DEATH.

Hearing the screams of the poor being... this felt like a horror movie. Maybe house-elves were paranoid too--just like the students. Clearly he knew nothing of their kind, except for the fact that most of them made good food.

Stupid Algamus.

He got rid off the cookies and was calling her stinky!

Hmph.

Oh, but the cookies were back! And Schmoop was offering her cookies first. Of course. "Thank you," Willow said with a little smile at the little elf, as she took one of the cookies and nibbled slowly on it. Endearing -not cute, NEVER cute- little thing, that elf was.

And Truebridge was introducing the stranger (Willow heard the name but quickly forgot it) and talking about the class, that it would be about house elves. Huh. What was there to know? House elves were bound to serve their families until their dying day, unless they were freed with a piece of cloth. That was it, really, or at least she thought so.

Either way Willow was certainly not about to complain. As long as Schmoop and his little tray of cookies did not go away, she would be fine.

"George?" Called Willow from her seat, rising one of her perfectly plucked dark eyebrows at the Angry Ministry woman, "Please do not hesitate to correct me if I'm wrong, Mrs. Mayes, but isn't George the kind of name one would give to a boy?" Finished the Ravenclaw looking both polite and curious.

Except ... she was hardly curious. She just wanted to get the woman talking so she spill as in to how such an angered person had ended up taking such a boring job as like being a Division head at the Ministry of Morons Magic, instead of playing Quidditch.

With that temper, she would have made a fine beater. People with anger issues usually were - she would know.

Lucy looked at the houses elves after listening to the professor and smiled. Time for cookies!!!! She thought smiling wide. "Thank you Schmoop. They look great." She said taking a cookie and taking a small bite. She'd have to eat slowly so the other students could get cookies before she had a chance to snatch the tray away and hog the cookies to herself.

As Lucy nibbled on the cookie she looked over at Algamus, stiffling her laughter. He sure looked unhappy about Schmoop handing cookies out to the students. This was one amusing house elf. She continued nibbling on her cookie, waiting patiently for either Schmoop to offer more cookies, or for Professor Truebridge to start class.

"Schmoop is good baker," beams the House Elf. "Schmoop makes desertses for studentses at meals. Schmoop loves bakings. And Schmoop loveses Ravenclawses. Ravenclawses is so smarts and bright and has intelligences and Schmoop loveses intelligences." Schmoop's chest swells with pride and he watches the nice Ravenclaw girl take a cookie.

"Perhaps Profesosr Lainey hads bad run ins with House Elfses. Like a bad, mean, grouchies House Elf." Schmoop cast a quick LOOK the way of Algamus before bowing at the girl.

"Enjoy the cookie, Miss Ravenclaw," he says, before carrying on his cookie-passing-out, offering his tray of warm, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.

Schmoop smiles very happily at the nice, pretty Ravenclaw. She is so nice, being a smartses Ravenclawsie and eating his cookies. Again, Schmoop swells with pride. Schmoop much enjoyses the nice, friendly studentese, like Ravenclawses. Ravenclawses are good studentses.

"Enjoys your cookie, Miss Ravenclawsie," says Schmoop, bowing at knboobly knees. "There is more cookies, feel free to helps yourself."

Ravenclawses gets special treatments. Always.

Algamus! NOES!

He is hittings himself IN FRONT OF THE STUDENTSES! And alreadies, one is looking scared.

"Algamus no!" squeaks Schmoop, the tray with cookies landing on the floor, perfectly, as Schmoop moves as quickly as his little legs can carry him and topples the other House Elf. "NOT IN FRONT OF THE STUDENTSES!" he squeaks, trying to grapple the iron from Algamus, or at least to pull his hands away from his head. The struggle is had, and rather awkward, with both House Elves rolling around and Schmoop is making squeaking noises of protest. "Algamus you is going to scares they childrens! Stops it Algamus, stops it!"

If he wasn't on probation, and she wasn't Annie's best friend, Ethan would gladly do more than TRY throwing her out the window right then.

The woman had issues and he'd done nothing (that he knew of) to deserve her attitude.

"I shall be very displeased if you knock yourself out and cannot help with the class, Algamus." Ethan informed the elf, after watching him smack himself over the head.

Ahem.

"Alright class, I suppose we can start with the most logical question. What are house elves?"

You know those creatures standing in front of them? Yeah, those.

"And you are more than welcome to talk with the elves as long as you also pay attention to the class." He informed them.

George raised an eyebrow.

"You're a Ravenclaw? My my, their standards have slipped since I was in that house," she remarked offhandedly. "Yes, 'George' is a name that is normally given to a boy. It's in fact a very COMMON name for a boy. You may or may not have heard of several Kings of England with this name. It is also a nickname that can sometimes, although much more rarely, given to a girl. Lots of boy's names are used for girls now, and many have simply become gender-neutral. Does that help you understand?"

Oh yes, she could play the little girl's game. George was smart, and the children were stupid.

All children are stupid. Most people are stupid.

Children especially.

"House Elves are small humaniod creatures whom often inhabit large houses, and they attend to menial tasks for the family who live in that house." Vanessa spoke as she rasied her hand.

William grinned wildly as he saw the two house elfs appear in the classroom. he had never met a House elf before but he had heard about Schmoop from his cousin, who had adored that little elf. and so Willi adored the elf too.

Raising his hand William replied, "House elf are magical creatures, who are completely and utterly awesome. They have their own brand of special magic which allows them to do things wizard can't. he said in a chipper voice as he eyed Schmoop and his cookies."

Chris raised his hand to answer the question. "House elves are small creatures that can talk, think, and to some have near human intelligence. I for one think they are just as smart as humans." he nodded smiling at the house elves in the classroom, k now wasn't a time for tangents on House Elf rights. "They are employeed to familys in large homes or castles to do tasks for them."

Becca raised her hand, "Well, they're elves," she stated the obvious, "and they help wizards out. With whatever their owner asks of them. And they must serve their master, no matter what the task. Right?" She shrugged. "The ones here seem to have a bit more freedom than some others get," she added. "But they still have a job to do."

Sitting on the floor, Cy's brown eyes narrowed at the guest speaker. He'd heard that name before, he knew he had. And an empty feeling at the bottom of his stomach have him an idea of who he'd heard that name from.

Shaking his head slightly, he eyed the house elves. Cy liked house elves, and he especially liked bothering them.

Anyways, attention back to the Ministry official. "My dad used to work in thah' Department." He informed Mayes, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

Back to Truebridges question though, "Ah, house elves are things that serves Wizards. Plain an' simple." Was that offensive? Well, Cy did define abrasive.

Lucy turned her gaze away from the house elf that was hitting himself to Professor Truebridge. "A house-elf is a magical creature which is devoted and loyal to the one designated as their master." She said, raising her hand in the air. "They serve wizards and witches, and must do everything that they command until they are freed by their masters."

Algamus was punishing himself now.

With an apathetic expression on her face, Willow turned to look at Truebridge, and raised her hand, "House elves are creatures that are bound to serve a magical family until their dying day. That's, of course, if the family doesn't set them free with any piece of clothing first."

No, I'm a Hufflepuff who enjoys wearing Ravenclaw robes, isn't that grand, GEORGE?

That's what Willow wanted to snap back at the woman, but instead she left the polite smile on her face as the women rambled about History and things Willow already knew of and didn't particularly cared for. "I disagree, Ms. Mayes. It has been years since you were a student here, yes? So, there's obviously no way you can know if they have slipped. Personally, I'd like to think they've upgraded." Obviously, if George had been a Ravenclaw, they clearly had, "But thank you, your History lesson was much needed and appreciated, George." And with that, Willow fixed her attention on Truebridge again, and very much hoped that Schmoop would come around again with more cookies.

Elbowing Willow in the ribs lightly as if she could hear her friend's thoughts, Evolette gave her a disapproving look. George might be mean, and very rude, but she had the cutest shoes, so she was okay in Evolette's book.

Raising her hand, Evolette chirped in, as everyone else answered, "House elves serve in many wizarding families, they're like, servants, really, except they don't get paid for their services." The McKenna's didn't have house elves, just human servants, so, that was what she equated them to. "They are bound to their master, and are very loyal creatures...." her eyes drifted to Mr. Grumpy Elf. "For the most part."

Grumpy.

Schmoop shivers. This class is not going as he has expected. The studentses is giving answers that makes him feel uncomfortable. Slave. Servent. Until death. For all their life.

"We is not slaves!" squeaks Schmoop, making Algamus's iron disappear. "We is good House Elves! We is happy to serve Headmaster and everyone in the castle. House Elveses enjoy to please. House Elveses LIKESES what we does. Hosue Elves do not WANT monies or gifts. House Elveses is happy with masters happiness and pleasures and gratification. And studentses friendships."

The studentses are looking hungry and Schmoop quickly scurries to make more rounds with the cookies, starting with the pretty Ravenclaw, who looks very grumpies.