Barnabas the Barmy
 

A moving tapestry depicts Barnabas attempting to train trolls for the ballet.

Rawr.

Jacqueline was in a VERY good mood. After finding out that she hadn't left her little music playing muggle device at home, but packed it in the tiny pocket inside her bright blue bag, she'd also found out that she'd packet a battery charger for it as well! Awersome. Wandering around for a bit, she came across a tapestry. NOMIDAAAAAYZ! Who said that tapestry-makers didn't have a sense of a humour? Well, no-one, but heeey. Standing right in front of hit, she giggled, and turned the music up in her ears.

Clark wandered away from the common room after fighting off a sudden urge to dance. He noticed a younger boy exclaiming, so he decided to bother him. (Cos he was a Clark.) "Hey!" he yelled to him. "Do you like to dance?" Clark asked him ponderingly. He liked to dance and didn't like dancing alone. Cos that was NOT cool.

Hey!

"Hey-ho! Let's go!" Jake responded automatically, glancing down the corridor. Twas a duuuuuuude. An older dude. Well, older than Jake was. "When the mood takes me, I do enjoy the occasional frolic to music," he responded, not bothered that he didn't know this guy at all. "But SHHHHHH!!!!! I'm HIDING!" he whispered, pressing him back against the wall.

Cue mission impossible music.

*hums*
 

"WHY ARE YOU HIDING? CAN I HIDE WITH YOU?" Clark asked loudly.

Poor Clark. He wasn't the most...wise? quiet? short? Well, yes, all of these but he also wan't the most discreet. Of course, he was also not very comfortable around short people, teachers, he was accident-prone....but he should dance.

And so, like those trolls in the tapestry, he danced ballet. And hummed.

"Mmmmh,mmh mhmhmmm...."

... Why did Jake aaaaaallwaayyyyyssss attract the weird people to him. Seriously, it's not like HE was weird.

...

...

...

Anyway, narrowing his eyes at the kid, Jake literally facepalmed. Sure, they were on the top floor, and mister cripple-hip was like... allllllll the way downstairs... but the man had the hearing of a BAT! "Kazimeriz," Jake explained, watching the boy's... dancing?

Could you even call it that?

"OOH! I'M CLARK LANDERS. I GET IN TROUBLE A LOT TOO." shouted Clark, up on his toes.

Which really hurt.

As he twirled around, he stopped, then ran over to where the boy was hiding. "WHAT'S YOUR NAME??" he asked, standing beside him, however, he was still yelling. (It's unneccessary Clark! UN!) His blue hair was still standing up on end, for some reason. But oh well.

"Hey!" Jake yelled indignantly, looking up at the freaky boy. "I never said I get in trouble alot! I'm never in trouble... it was just a... misunderstanding..." he trailed off, realising he didn't have to hide anything from the other students. "I kind of... forgot to go to his detentions."

Geeeeeez, so loud! "Name's Jake," he nodded to the guy, eyeing his blue hair. They must have looked a right sight... blue haired boy and pink haired boy. Well... Jake knew what he'd rather have.

... PINK!

Helped you get away with things when girls were around.

"Jake Upstead," he elaborated.

"I know what you mean-li'l kids got me in trouble. Now they blame me for their detention-it was their fault I got mine! Totally NOT my fault..." Ya it was. But he was in denial-not willing to let it go either. Who goes around kissing in their first year? Seriously.

DUMB! And so it was their fault.

"How'd you get your hair?" Clark asked, looking down at the little boy. Probably second year. Not first-or Jake might get offended of him making fun of his fellow firsties. But they deserved it.

ALL their fault.

Haha, oh the irony. Jake had gotten in trouble for acting like a little kid. Strange, how that tended to happen. "My hair?" Jake asked, bamboozled at the way the question was worded. Didn't everyone have hair?

Oh... hang on...

"Ohhhh... my brother got hold of my wand," Jake explained, tugging on a lock of his own hair. "And zapped it... then my other brother tried to wash it out with a potion... but it made it stay for longer... what about your hair?"

And Jake was verrrrrrry intruiged to find out about this detention Clark had apparently been in.

Clark listented to his story. "I never have that problem, I only have...." he silently counted, "11 brothers and sisters. So I'm fine. But I'm the oldest, so, they all 'respect' me." He paused before continuing with the quite long story.

"Well it has to do with my detention, so I'll just explain that. I was with my.....friend Natka, and we were talking. And two ravenclaw firsties were getting in trouble for kissing, and I was trying to get them out of losing points, et cetera, by saying they were my sister and step-bro, very disturbed. No one believed me, and so I got five points from Ravenclaw, and a detention. Never got thanked for it, and now they think their detention was my fault."

He gasped for air, as he had said all of that quite quickly. "And so for my detention I had to watch Masterson's dog, Roma, and I'm really allergic to dander of any kind. The nurse gave me a potion but it wore off and I got really bad welts, really long fingers, and uh...blue hair. Everything else is normal but the hair won't go back. Which is bad cos I had lucious black, wavy hair. I don't think the nurse likes me."

"Well... I didn't know I had any siblings 'til I turned up at my dad's house this summer... and he didn't even know I was going there..." Jake explained. "I got one little half-brother, and a step-brother and step-sister, both older," he added, stretching his arms out a little. Boy... he was tiyyaahhhd.

"The nurse is okay..." Jake noted, though he wasn't entirely sure whether she was annoyed at him or whether she didn't mind him all that much. "But... your detention was way better than mine," he added indignantly. "Mine took like... ages. And I messed my jaw up."

"MY LOCKS, MAN. MY LOCKS." A passerby would be wondering why Clark was shouting about his smoked salmon. But oh well. "I've seen her about nine times in the past three days. And she doesn't like me cos I was kinda...talkative." he muttered sheepishly.

"Dude...." Clark paused, then continued quietly. "Have you seen that girly gossip rag? Apa-something?" Aparecium...it was passed out in Prof. Bunbury's class. Clark was a secret fan-ok, that was an understatement. He was addicted.

Even though the last installment was talking about him.

Nodding and wondering what the heck Clark was on about, Jake figured his best bet was to just agree. Yup, nod and agree... thaaaaat's the ticket. He knew what it was like to keep on turning up at the hospital wing. Jake himself only just realised how accident prone he was... well, last year he never really went to the hospital wing as muuuuuch.

"Apa-what-now?" he repeated, looking at the boy as if the guy was insane.

Which, of course, he was.

Well... whatever that thing was, Jake was clueless about it.

Hogwarts was weird.

Clark blushed quited girlily. "Uh, nothing. Just a little girly thing. Yeah. It's just...nothing." Her sat down criss-cross-applesauce (WHAAT?) and shook some of his blue hair out. Wait....he was shedding? That's weird.....allergies. Whatever.

"Well, this magazine type thing, and then it was gossipping about everyone, and it mentioned me. And it said that I liked one of my best friends, and that I was seen 'slow dancing' with this first year. Quite icky."

The boy paused, the went up to the tapestry. "I've always wondered about this." he said, and touched the yarn. Which promptly fell down on the floor. The sounds of angry small trolls filled the corridor.

"Oh man. We gotta get outta here." Clark exclaimed wildly.

"Erm... strange..." Jake commented, furrowing his brow. Wow, he sure was glad he wasn't in with anything that could be written in that thing.

But wait... Jake had informations.

:shifty:

"That's... quite good to know, anyway," the pink-haired boy stated, glancing down the corridor as Clark approached the tapestry that was hanging on the wall. Only, when he looked back, the tapestry was no longer on the wall. Which only led him to one conclusion.

"YOU PULLED DOWN THE TAPESTRY?!"

Dani walked toward the tapestry, and saw Clark and el crazy chico. Smiling she waved. "Hi Clark. What you doin?" He looked like he was attempting to hide something and freaking out a little. She glanced at the weird kid. "Um. Hi." She still didn't know his name. What was the crazy boy yelling? Something about pulling down a tapestry? Oh noes.

"I didn't pull down the tapestry! Uh...um..." Clark desperatley tried to come up with an excuse. "You did! Ya! It was you!" he yelled as Dani walked down into the corridor.

"Hey Dani. Umm...I just walked in here. And Jake just pulled down the tapestry. Just reprimanding him." At that point, he broke down. "OK, it was me. You just CAN'T let anyone know. CAN'T." He spat on his hand then stuck it out to her. "Do you promise?"

"Now how are we gonna escape?"

Dani looked at Clark with wide eyes. "You pulled down the tapestry? I didn't even know it could fall." Looking down at his spitty hand, she shook her head. Eww. "I promise, but I'm not touching your hand until you wash it."

She thought for a minute and then smiled and pulled a roll of spell-o-tape out of her bag. "This might work." She held it out to him. "What do you think?" They might as well try it, it was better than leaving the angry trolls on the floor. Of course, now she was here so if a Professor happened to show up she'd probably be in trouble too. Great.

"Dude, it was toterly you!" Jake exclaimed indignantly, eyes widening as clark tried to pin it on him (pun?). Then there was that girl Jake ended up seeing everywhere... who always seemed to be giving him strange looks. Ya.

Ew.

"Don't touch his hand," Jake warned the girl, tackling her out of the way. "He has the lurgy! Look at his HAIR!"

Ahhhh, the good ole lurgy excuse. Good times.

"We? WHADYA MEAN WE?!" Jake yelled, demeanour changing once again. "YOU pulled it down."

"Uh...does tape work on yarn? Plus, it'll be kinda visible, the tape. So that's probable a no, I guess." he shrugged. "Maybe we could push some firsties in here then tell a proffesser that they pulled it down....is that mean?" Ya. "OK, um I thought that there was a permanent sticking charm on it. But, I don't really know."

If he was gonna be in trouble, he might as well get it over with.

"I don't have lurgy!" Clark tackled Jake. "Now YOU have lurgy. And since you were a witness you will get in trouble."

Dani grunted. "Gerr off meh!" She flailed a little. She didn't want the lurgy. "It does work on yarn, just tape the back to the wall, do the rolly-thingy with the tape. I'd do it but.." She eyed Jake. "I'm Dani by the way." Now was as good as any time to introduce herself. She didn't want to get in trouble, so they needed to fix it.

Straightening himself up and pressing the creases out of his clothes that he'd acquired after his act of... heroism, Jake smiled at the girl. "Hi Dani, I'm Jake UpstEAAAAAAAAAAAD!" he exclaimed, for as soon as he stood up, Clark had tackled him back to the floor. "AAARGH! LURGY! LURGY!"

NOW his hair would turn BLUE! Or so he thought. His hair couldn't turn BLUE! That was an unnatural colour.

Whereas pink hair was toterly normal.

"Blame a first year?" Jake repeated, his gaze s-l-o-w-l-y resting on Dani and an eeeevil smile cropping up on his face.