Carracio made his way into the gardens. A soft sigh permeated the early-morning air, polluting the crispness with the dense fog of warm breath. He walked to his usual area, seeming to not even notice Freya quite yet. He leaned down to the roses, kissing each of the odd-colored ones in turn. "Good morning, Damian," he said softly, kissing the white one. "My dearest Natasha," he sighed as he kissed the red one. "Take care of our young ones." Then, he lightly caressed the silvered blue one, pain deep in his eyes. "Good morning, Little Kin. I hope that you are enjoying your freedom." He kissed that one softly, his lips lingering a bare few minutes longer than with the other two.

Afterward he straightened and moved closer to the student. He bowed lightly to her, acknowledging her at last. "And a good morning to you as well. I hope you do not mind, but I prefer to greet my family first."

Freya jumped up almost violently as she heard a voice behind her, her heart beating rapidly as she recovered from the initial shock, she thought she was alone.
"No, Sir." She said politely and quietly as she eyed him a little strangely and cautiously, "I don't mind at all. It's your garden after all. And good morning to you too." His behavior reminded her somewhat of herself. Such as when she would take care of her animals first, even before herself. "I hope I'm not here too early, it was just so pleasant this morning I couldn't resist." Freya finished as she hastily closed her book and tucking it away in her bag. "You have a beautiful garden, Sir."

"Thank you," he said softly. "And it is more than my garden. For every rose that is not black on that rose bush, I have lost someone. I created the bush after the death of my wife and son. It grows a rose which is not black for every person that the grower mourns. It gives me a way to greet those I have lost, and talk with them, without being away to visit their graves."

Freya was surprised at his response, not knowing what to say for a moment, "I'm sorry to hear that, Sir. Really I am." She knew it wasn't much, but it was all she could offer. "It's still a lovely way to remember someone." Freya said as she silently wished that she had something to remember her father, even if it was only a former possession of his.

"Sir," Freya continued after a moment of silence, "I'm sorry for acting the way I did the other day. It's just that I lose control of my temper sometimes, I don't mean any harm, but sometimes it brings out the worst in me." She waited for a moment, wondering if she should continue. "I've just been under a lot of stress right now, that's all." Freya finished quietly as she looked at her palms and reached for her right arm, something she did when she wasn't feeling well.

He sat by her, gazing momentarily at the bush then looking at her. "Please, tell me about it, childe. You might be surprised at what more I know than herbology."

Freya made sure there was enough space between the two of them, she hated being close to people. 'Oh, gosh.' She thought to herself, 'Where should I start then? With him maybe, since that's when everything started to go downhill.' "Okay, but you asked for it." Freya told her professor before she began.

She took a deep breath as she tried to relax herself, "Well," She started, still keeping her voice down so as to not make too much noise, it was nice having it so quiet for once. "I guess things started when my dad died, I was four at the time, and I managed to see the whole thing unfortunately." Freya said, not looking at Carracio but at her hands. "He had a bad reaction to something from what my mother tells me. And the day after he passed away my mother got rid of everything my father ever owned." She paused for a minute, her throat seemed to swell up a bit as she spoke, "She even burned all of his photographs. I don't even remember what he looks like. And all my mom can say is that 'We have to forget about him and get on with our lives. He wasn't that important to us anyway.'"

Freya noticed her hands had started to tremble a little bit, so she held them together, 'Stop it!' She told herself, 'Stop being such a wuss!' She swallowed and then took another deep breath through her nose, looking straight ahead. "Nothng much happened until I turned nine, then my mother started 'training me'." Freya said in a somewhat harsh voice and making quotations with her fingers. "She's completely outrageous, insane, my mother. It's like she's expecting me to head off into war or something the way she teaches me." She looked straight at her professor, still seated next to her. "When I was twelve, I started helping my mom with her experiments. She knew how dangerous they were for me to be around, even back then and still she wanted me there." Freya continued as she started to pull the skin away from her thumbs, drawing a bit of blood.

"At fourteen I was juggling studies, work with my mother and quidditch practice for my state team. I would 'attend class' from six in the morning until one in the afternoon. Then it was time for work, that went on until six in the evening. And the chores for work would take up the rest of the night, and day after day would be the same thing. Until I turned sixteen when I started to train for boxing, which lead to competition when I turned seventeen." Freya sat back a little bit, looking at her hands again and took a deep sigh. She hoped she wasn't talking too much, but she really didn't care.

"I'm sorry I'm talking so much Sir, I'm nearly through." Freya said between breaths. "Then this year came, and I realized I needed two years of formal-education in order to attend the programs I want for post-graduate training, so I persuaded my mother to let me come here." Freya gave a small smile at the thought, "It was great. It took a while for me to warm up to people, but I got through it at least. Everything was great." She said again in a dreamy voice. "And then things started to go wrong. I'm so use to being first in everything, a perfectionist some people call me. I've taken more potions here than I ever had to in my entire life, usually I just suck it up and let it heal on it's own, like this." Freya said as she pulled her long hair out of her face, revealing the nearly healed gash on her face that went across her eye.

"I don't know." She said sounding a bit hopeless, "I'm just not use to having so much free time for myself, I don't know what to do with it. So I stay and study and read in my common room. I haven't slept in days, or eaten anything because I can't. I always feel like I have to do something, and that if I don't something will go horribly wrong. I hate worrying all the time..." Freya said as she stared at a single leaf that was winding it's way up some lattice. "And I guess when I missed that spell a few days ago, I just snapped. I'd never made a mistake like that because I can't afford to."

She looked up again, "But what makes even less sense is what happened the next morning when I went back to the Room of Requirements." Freya said with a puzzled look. "I know it was dangerous, but I had to know that I could do it. And I did. I had no problem at all deflecting the spell at all. It was like I was training back home again. It was so odd." She finished as her vision blurred for a moment and then cleared up. She looked at Carracio again, "Sorry, Sir. I didn't mean to go on a rant like that. I apologize for it."

"Don't worry about it. Do sit back down." He leaned back and looked up to the sky. "Little Kin... was somewhat like that... but not for the same reason. He always had to be doing something. And it was worse when-- No, this is not a time for that story. However, I must say you do seem like the most apt to survive out there, amongst everyone here. I'm sure it must seem somewhat lonely at times as well." He looked back to her. "You know that you've seen things most of them haven't. You've done things they may not ever know in their lifetimes. And through all of that, here you are, and you are even being bested by some of them. Such a thing is-- must be very frustrating."

You're not alone... "You're not alone." His voice sounded just a bit different then, as though he were speaking for someone else. Training is also one thing... "Training is also one thing--" actions are another "--actions are another. Sometimes you get out to that very moment and something just doesn't happen right. But you also have to remember, that everything changes. If you get too ahead of yourself, you become inflexible, and such as what happened in the Room of Requirement will happen again. You must expect everything: to succeed, to fail, to have good and bad happen to you, and try to plan for all of it. It makes you adaptable. And with every failure is something to learn from it, so long as you know how."

By the end, he had sounded like himself once more. "It is one of the many things both Slade and I had learned along the way. We have... faced a good many things together. As my favorite saying goes, 'It's not safe out there. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it's not for the timid.' In your mother's care, out of it, and when you leave Hogwarts, you will find a good many challenges awaiting you. Some she may have prepared you for. Others, such as what awaits you in this very school, she has not. Though she may not have even realized it. Because of your background and upbringing there may be some things that are harder for you to accept.

"Perfectionism and pride are not the same as confidence, for example. If you cannot accept failure gracefully, you are less likely to know why you failed, and more likely to repeat the mistake. This is why I say that pride is a vice, not a virtue, and will be what hinders you."

He sighed then, turning to the rose bush which he prized so highly. "I will do what I can to help you. I can probably help continue your training, so you at least have something to do. And I can work out a schedule with you that you will be getting what nutrients and sleep you need. By the end of the day, you should not feel so restless. And in the end... Well, my dear, I have not yet looked at what experiments your mother did, however I guarantee that I would not be surprised in any of it. I can claim good intentions all I want, and I will leave my character up to your judgment, but I will say that it will be up to you to decide whether you like what you see."

"In the spirit of this... a gift." He summoned his sight then, and traced down her life path, not stopping until she was very young. When he came across her watching a man's death, he traced it further until he also got a glimpse of her playing with him. He offered this glimpse to her, sharing his vision with her.

Freya didn't say anything for a moment, but rather just stared at him, not knowing what to say. Her head was hanging low, very rarely did she not have a response.
Freya listened as her professors voice seemed to change slightly, 'It's almost like it's scripted.' She thought to herself. Still a bit confused about the people he was mentioning, but it didn't matter.
"You're right, Sir." She said quietly after a moment, and repaired her damaged skin on her fingers. "I don't accept failure very gracefully. I suppose it's because whenever I lost, to my mother, she would always rub it in. Make it that much worse for me to hear, to understand."

"And I'll admit that I'm not a very confident person either." Freya continued. "It took me until the time I entered Diagon Alley a few weeks ago to start coming out of my shell a bit. Interacting with other people who were around my own age for once. Not hunch over wherever I went, or be too afraid to talk to someone even when I needed help. I think I've made quite a bit of improvement in that respect though."

Freya looked up again, a guilty look on her face. "You don't have to go out of your way for me, Sir. I've already taken up enough of your time as it is. And I'm sure you have enough on your plate already without me interfering further." She glanced at the castle again, it remained very still inside and out, not a soul in sight. "And I don't think my mother would approve of another person training me anyway. She, um, likes to take care of things herself." Freya said, hoping it would deter her professor from offering again. 'He wouldn't approve of her methods anyway.'
"Unless something were to go very wrong at my home, Sir. I would like to keep what experiments my mother and I have classified. It's nothing personal, it's just precaution."

'A gift?' Freya thought suddenly, becoming nervous for a moment, 'Those never turn out good.' But her fear vanished instantly as she witnessed herself as a very young child with an older man. He was quite tall, with dark brown hair that was slightly unruly, and he had a kind face. 'That's my dad.' Freya thought as she watched for a brief moment. 'I look so much like him.' She could feel her throat swell up again, feel tears come to her eyes, but they didn't fall. As the image vanished, her shock turned into curiosity again, "How did you do that?"

"I can trace the paths of lives, by gazing upon threads of fate. I will admit, I'm not good at predicting the future with them, but I'm getting better at it. Finding the past is easier. There is only one past for any person existing within this universe, but several paths that anyone can take in the future. It is why, for the most part, the future is unwritten. The only thing that makes it predictable is that people have a tendency to follow a predictable course of action. Most things do, if you can look at a large enough timeline."

He gave her a small smile. "Forgive me if I was forward. But since my own experiences, I have long believed that there should be a safe way that any child, no matter how grown, can see their more... unknown parents if they wish it."

"It's alright, Sir." Freya said with a miniscule grin, "I think I can forgive you for it." 'At least someone cares...' She thought for a second. "All I knew about him before now was that his name was Cyrus, he was a Gryffindor, and that I have his height." She wondered for a moment. "Sir, I hope you don't mind me asking this, but is it possible that you came to school here with either one of my parents?" It was a wild card, Freya knew, but it wasn't impossible, he seemed to be around the same age. "My mother was a Slytherin student, her maiden name was Vence."

"It's still a superior gift to have, Sir. I suppose you were born with that skill then?" She asked, her curious nature getting the better of her, yet again. Freya had to admit, seeing a persons future would be interesting, although it may also be an invasion of privacy.

Freya looked down at the ground again, as she did so she suddenly thought of several of her classmates, Nathaniel, Kairi, Claira and Helena. "A lot of students here seem to have family problems, don't they?" She said in a quiet voice. At least she wasn't completely alone, she knew that. "I sure do have a lot of questions don't I?" She finished in an apologetic voice. "I'm sorry, I never get the chance to ask them otherwise."

"I had some skill in divination that I was born with. I always had light inklings. The feeling that something was amiss or whatnot, and would generally be correct." He sighed, thinking about everything that had happened. "A friend and I were forced to learn this technique, however. It comes from a family line, that can only be taught by the family line. Until their families were in danger, they felt that it was best we learn it. Mainly because the ability also allows us to hide our fates once we master it, and the two of us were under attack by a very powerful seer. I'm sure if they hadn't felt it was imperative for us to learn, they would not have taught us. And in the end, they could only teach us the basics anyhow."

"And yes, it does seem like many students have family problems. But they all exist out there anyhow. Even my past is... colorful." He chuckled. "By the way, a talent that I was born with is for painting. If you would like a painting of your father, I could have that prepared for you. I can also keep it here, if you cannot take it home."

'Forced to learn it.' Freya thought, 'Gee, I wonder why that rings a bell.' She thought about how great it would be to be able to hide her own fate. But she then started to feel a little sick, 'I don't know what my fate is. I don't even know if I want to be a healer anymore.' She swallowed at the thought, it never occurred to her until now that she would one day have to decide for herself what to do with her own life. 'Mom always seemed to lead me.' She thought. But then her mind started to wander a bit, 'If I move out over break then I can get a better taste of life then.' She smiled to herself. 'Of course, mother can't know then. She'd probably kill me for sure.' Realizing how strange she must have looked when she was talking to herself silently, she looked up again.

"It's awfully sad though." Freya said, "To think that Hogwarts is some sort of safe haven for at least half of us."

Freya's eyes seemed to brightened up as he mentioned a painting. "Yes, I would like that very much, Sir. If it won't be too much trouble of course." She grinned again, "I'm afraid that I'm not a very gifted painter. I've never really tried of course, but the one time I did, I tried to recreate a thestral, it turned out looking like a dog or something." She frowned as she remembered her mother tearing it apart. "It must be a nice hobby though. Whenever you get the chance to practice it anyway." She looked down at her palms again, "Yes, I think it would be best if it were to stay here."

"It is," he said softly. "And some of us rely on Hogwarts too much for protection. We tend to forget that it doesn't take much for us to step off the grounds and be in danger once more."

"Feel free to come by if you wish to try painting again. I've more than enough supplies, and to buy supplies. It might be a nice past-time for you as well." He sighed, thinking. "How old is your mother? It's possible we did attend Hogwarts together, however she would have had children while young."

'Gee, when he puts it that way, Hogwarts sounds more like a burden than anything else. Seems to numb students of reality in some respect.' Freya had a wild thought, "I think it would be interesting if the school allowed students to experience life-threatening scenerios, where they actually had to use their skills before they left Hogwarts for good. No chance of getting hurt of course, but it would certainly open some students' eyes. I know a lot are just skimming by in their studies, they're more into socializing and such."

She looked up, "I'll keep the invitation in mind, Sir. But if I do come by, I'd like to pay for whatever supplies I use. I hate feeling like a leech, some sort of freeloader if you will." Freya gave a small smile, "Of course that may not happen for a while. I think I'll let you have a few days to yourself without me butting in for once. I seem to be drowning you with all my troubles."

Freya sighed, 'Goodness, ugh, I can't even remember how old my own mother is!' "I think she's about 39, Sir. She's nearly 40 I know that much. She's been pretty quiet about that as far as I can remember." 'The one thing she hasn't mentioned to me...go figure I would actually need that information after all.'

"I see. She's about my age, then. I, erm, spent most of my time with Slade... he was really more the attractor of women and such back in those days. With so much attention on him, rarely was there any on me, and I stopped looking." He cleared his throat a little. "As for the life-threatening experiences... there may be more here than you think." For instance, my detentions. "Anyhow, you are free to come by whenever you like. Time to myself is... dangerous. Feel free to pay for what you will, but do know it isn't necessary. And if you have to, you can pay me back at a future time."

Freya couldn't help but smile a little bit, 'So it was possible that mother was there at the same time then.' She wondered to herself, "You've mentioned Slade before, Sir. Who is he? If you don't mind me asking." Freya thought for a moment, 'Oh no, I hope something didn't happen to him. That would be horrible if he was gone and I had to go and bring it up.'

"What's around here that's so dangerous?" Freya asked again, a gleam of light shone across her eyes. "Surely there isn't too much." She glanced over towards the forest, "It wouldn't involve going in the forest now would it?" She'd been craving to go in there since she had heard about it in Diagon Alley. Surely the responsible adults knew that saying, 'Keep Out' was as good as saying 'Come on In'?

Freya gave her professor an odd look, "Dangerous, Sir? You don't seem to be the type...but appearances can be decieving I guess. All I manage to do in my alone time is think too much, then I start to get worried about things." 'Maybe he's not dangerous at all in that sense.' She thought, 'Maybe he gets bored and has to find something, anything to do that will distract himself. Even if it can be harmful.'

"It's necessary for me, Sir. I hate feeling like I owe something to someone." 'Like now.' "And I pay on the spot, so I'm not always concerned with repaying the person."

"The dangers here involve something more subtle than something that is in the forest." They involve me. "But I do introduce certain things to students which I find to be... too ignorant for my liking. I am within the bounds set to me, but I will say that I have had to heal the students in my last detention. And the detention was simply for rudeness and telling tall tales. It's controlled, and sometimes I only use illusion. There have been no deaths yet."

"As for dangers outside of Hogwarts, well, even I have succumbed to thinking that it's safe, so long as I let things be. I procrastinated setting a Fidelis charm on our cottage, thinking it could wait until just before summer, since we wouldn't be going back. But a letter, the most innocent of things to penetrate Hogwarts walls, reached my wife. It was forged, saying it was from me, and that she should return to our cottage. That was where she and Damian were killed, because I simply assumed that she would not leave the safety of this castle."

"As Slade used to say, one of the worst phrases which may permeate my vocalization is 'I am bored.' We had many points of contention, he and I." He gazed up at the bush, sighing softly. "The white rose is my son, Damian. He was only a few years old when he died." By the worst hands possible. "The red rose is my wife, Natasha. She was with child when Goya-- when I lost her." I never knew if we would have our daughter. "And the last rose, the shimmering color of his eyes in his youth... is Slade." He swallowed hard on that last. "I couldn't save him, and yet I did at the same time. Allowing him to be freed from the torments this life had brought. He was my best friend, my partner, my confidante..." his voice dipped into a low whisper, "my world." He took a shuddered breath and composed himself, not letting it get to him. "In this world, sometimes a soul mate is not someone who is your love... sometimes it is one person who is perfectly matched to you. A true partner. That person, for me, was Slade."

Freya was stunned into silence again, she hadn't expected that much to come out of her one question, she felt horribly guilty for it now. "I'm sorry." She whispered so quietly that even she wasn't sure he could hear her as she glanced at the roses before burying her face in her hands. "I should never have brought it up." She finished as her throat started to feel swollen again, 'Thank God I don't cry, or I'd be a mess right now.' Anything she could say otherwise seemed to useless.

"You were so lucky to have had them though." Freya mentioned after a moment. "I've never met anyone who seems to be a match for me, love or friend. I've never even really known what it was like to have a family, anything like that. I guess I try not to get too attached, for just this reason." She thought for a second, "I mean...I thought I did at one point, but that was months ago, and now there's nothing I can do to change what I did." Freya had started to move one long finger around nervously on the bench. '"...Yet I did at the same time"', She wondered, 'I wish I could have known what to do, maybe he'd still be around somehow if I did.' She took a deep breath as well, her head started to pound as she thought back to that horrible day when everything went wrong.

"Hogwarts is still magical that way," he said quietly. I met Slade here, met Natasha here... Damian grew up here, what time he had." He looked over to her. "Don't let it stop you, don't let it hold you back. For all the pain I have suffered, for having lost my soul mate, I am still better for having known him. And no matter what happened between us..." There was a slightly stunned hesitation as he realized the truth of his next few words. "I don't regret a thing of it." No, he didn't regret siding with Slade, no matter the consequences, or remaining as close to him as he did. He didn't regret turning on Thanatos instead of tending to Slade's wounds. He knew his friend would be worse for it. He couldn't regret a thing, lest his friend's memory become tarnished.

"What happened, Freya, that has your past in knots, and tangles your future so? No, I do not know. I did not look, for the sake of your privacy."

Freya didn't look at him for a moment or two, she sat and thought to herself before continuing. "Well," She started off hesitantly, "I suppose I can tell you. Word might spread around soon enough." 'After that STUPID game!' Freya thought angrily to herself. 'Why did I go?'

"It happened about eight months ago." She said as she still looked down, to ashamed to look anyone in the eye. "My mother and I, we, have test subjects. They, erm, sign themselves over to us I guess you could say." Thinking that more explaination might help, she went on, "My mom and I treat lycanthropy victims, Sir. That's what we experiment with, including the 'carriers', wolves that carry the gene. Really, the infection that invades their bodies." She sighed for a moment, 'She's going to be so mad at me if she finds out.'
"I ended up getting pretty close to one of them, he was only a year older than myself. I guess I spent too much time helping him to focus on what I was really suppose to be doing, so I ended up getting attached." Freya sniffed a bit, and then pushed some of her long hair out of her face. "He was the first real friend I ever had I expect. But then something happened during his third month with us."
"My mother decided to start a new 'cure' on him. He had this strange reaction to it, he seemed to recover, but really he just became very unstable." 'Why does she have to mess with things that she knows I can do myself?' "During his last transformation he just---went completely insane. He broke out of his secured room." Freya brushed her hair out of her face again, whatever was still there at least. "He came rushing towards me that night, I knew he would kill me so I...I killed him first." She stopped rather abruptly, remembering everything that had happened, still not looking at Carracio. She felt too ashamed, she could feel her face redden.

"I see," he said quietly. He could still remember the young man... blond-haired and blue-eyed. The image was still in his sketchbook. Oh, how Slade had eyed him for keeping his sketchbook and not bringing enough of his potion. "Unfortunately, there are few ways to deal with a lycanthrope when out of control. Moreover, out for your blood. Following an incident of my own, I joined the Werewolf Capture Unit. And I'm still learning how to do live capture. I'd never known prior to joining myself. Normally if I encounter one, it's him or me. And the last one it took both Slade and I to take it down." He cleared his throat, realizing it likely wasn't helping any.

"I'm sure it was harder, knowing that this one was your friend. However, if it was as bad as you say, it may have been for the better. Your friend has a sort of rest, and peace, that he may not have ever known. Even a freedom from his own mind, and perhaps even his own guilt had he killed you. Believe me, one of the hardest things is thinking, even knowing, that in the end it was for the best."

'The Werewolf Capture Unit.' Freya thought bitterly, 'Those brutes don't have a clue of what they're doing half the time. Even I can do a better job.' "I thought about joining that unit after school, before I decided on healing." Freya said quietly. "Even now I still think about it sometimes."

"I know what had to be done." Freya replied bluntly, "I wasn't going to just sit there and let him rip me to shreds, I have more sense than that." She let out a rough sigh, and tried to relax herself, something was still bothering her. "I know he's probably better off now. Not having a care in the world anymore, resting, entirely human." She had to swallow to keep her voice from cracking slightly,

"I can't help wondering sometimes whether or not my mother actually meant for this to happen."
She stared right at her professor, "She failed to even explain to me what she was giving him, she just went and did it. Usually we go over everything, each time before this one we had, so what would make this case so different? All she said was, 'It's just a little something I've been working on. Don't worry about it. Mommy knows what she's doing.'" 'Just went right ahead and did it...' Her arms had started to tremble a little bit, so she clasped her hands together.

"Well, if you join the WCU, it would be a pleasure to work with you. If you're looking into Healing, you may wish to talk with Cassandra."

He watched her a quiet moment, then sighed. "I can look for it, if you wish. Trace your path to hers, then trace hers to see what it was she did. But I will leave that up to you in whether or not you want to know."

"Cassandra?" Freya asked somewhat seriously, "I've heard she's kind of crazy actually. From other students anyway, they never really have anything nice to say. Na--one of my classmates told me that she refered to muggle doctors as butchers." She tried and failed to hide a smirk that appeared on her face.

Freya looked up for a moment, slightly alarmed. "You--you can do that?" She asked, hesitantly. 'Do I really want to know? I think I do at least. That would give me one more reason to leave sooner...crazed lunatic.' Freya glanced at the rose bush for a second, 'I wonder if she did something to dad too...no, that's impossible. She wouldn't have done that.' She looked to Carracio, "She won't know will she? She won't feel anything?" Freya asked with a worried face.

"Unless she is a very powerful seer, she won't notice a thing. You will have to hide the knowledge from her, however. And sometimes the best thing can be plausible deniability: that is, sometimes it's better not to know, because then when asked you can honestly say 'I don't know.' But that is up to you." He smirked. "Cassandra, by the way, is oblivious, has a horrible bedside manner, and is very into herself. Crazy, however, she is not. She's a very sane young woman, just horribly ignorant and naive at times. She can be very sweet with those she likes. Just mind her temper. She does not know how to."