Will noticed Kingston trying not to react to the pungent, rich, ripe gassy odor of Lord Odorr. He dared not meet the boy's eyes, for he noticed his were tearing up a bit as his own had. Yeah... I feel your pain, chap... he thought, commiserating inwardly with the bloke. Run! Save yourself! he thought as he glanced at him. But really, it was already too late. They were stuck.


Oh HEEEECK NO! Will thought. The idea of eating in here... With Borr... on a regular basis... Will would surely die of malnutrition, unable to eat a bite in the presence of His Flatulence, ruler of the Odor Empire.

That last one sounded... Will forced his mind not to contemplate the nastiness of the situation- that was between Lord Borr, his britches and his poor couch.

"While I respect the idea, sir, certainly, we would lose the opportunity to really scope out the other boys in their most relaxed, natural habitat if we dine away from them... also, I believe it would do them well to see you at the Staff Table each night so they can observe how a real gentleman conducts himself at meals." Will was thinking fast. Anything to save their necks and their meals... "Besides, it still wouldn't address the fact that some of the boys will find our success is due to being treated better... I'd rather them know that it came from your guidance and our hard work then from fancy accomodations and being handled with kid gloves. Though if it's not within your power to change it, I completely understand..." He raised an eyebrow at Lord Borr speculatively.

Kingston raised his head when he sensed that the Lord had bowed his head as well. It was after all manners to bow once someone bowed to you. And Kingston was delighted to see someone finally worthy of his respect in this school.

But, not worthy to be the cause of his death.

Kingston tried his best to not tear up and choke out for air once the man farted. This one smelled horrid. Oh lord have mercy on them. With a weak smile, Kingston gave a small nod as though he understood the man as he told him about the cookies.

He wasn't shocked once the man offered him some. Kingston thought about denying the offer since he was a vegan, but since it was manners... Taking the cookie from the batch, he held took out a napkin from his pocket and carefully placed the cookie in it as though it was a prized gem. "I'll keep this for later, my Lord. Thank you."

His brow shot up at as Borr explained about the two having a conversation about the arrangements in the Great Hall. "I see..." he muttered. "And yes, I have indeed voiced my concerns about the arrangements, my Lord."

Turning to look at the Slytherin prefect with an amused look as he tried to get out of the offer of having to eat here instead of the Great Hall, Kingston turned back to face Borr and gave him a genuine smile. "I would be honored to dine with you, my Lord."

Lord Borr was quite pleased. "A house divided! I like that! I like that a lot, and for you," Lord Borr pointed at Mr. Jones, "you should like that too. Bit of practice for the head of the Wizengamot in training! One wishes to eat in here - one wishes to remain on show in the Great Hall," Lord Borr laughed loudly. He was too tired to stand up anymore, so he collapsed back down into his marked spot on the couch.

"It's within my power to get things more - equal - I suppose. But the Minister himself put the plans into the Great Hall. The money wasn't there to supply every Tom, Greg, and Joe with the best. I'm sure you understand that."

"I do, indeed." Will nodded. "I will eat in here if it pleases your Lordship, despite my belief that it would be very good for the other boys to see you on a regular basis in the Great Hall. Of course, I defer to your wisdom." He bowed his head again slightly. At least the man hadn't let out any more gas with this pronouncement. The air was starting to smell less thick with the essence of Borr. And Oh! Good information.. The minister himself was responsible for the inequality of house treatment? Will tucked that bit of knowledge away. "As for the Minister, you're right-- I didn't realize it was on his orders that the situation was set up this way. Though of course I'm sure that a man of your Lordship's importance could... persuade him... to change the situation on behalf of the cream of the crop of all houses... if you were so inclined to be so generous."

Kingston merely smiled at the Lord's laughter. It was a bit frightening the way he laughed. All that fat jiggling around. It frightened Kingston to the farthest corner in the earth. He didn't know some parts could jiggle like that.

His brow was raised at that bit of information. So it had been the Minister that decided to not equalize the houses. Kingston read in the Library that he had been a Slytherin. It made sense why the Gryffindor were treated as they are. But why were the Hufflepuffs treated almost the same was as the Gryffindors? And why were the Ravenclaws flourished with many things?

"The Minister is a wise man." Kingston spoke. "He is wise to separate the schools. Girls do get distracted by boys and vice versa. How will mere boys be made into men by these distractions? Frankly, my Lord, I am very happy that he separated us. I am, however, not very delighted with our arrangements, my Lord." He weakly smiled. "But, I have been thinking lately. Maybe the way the Minister is treating the Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors in this manner is because he wants to turn them into strong willed men who will stop at nothing."

Lord Borr looked from young Mr. Jones to Mr. Wendleworth. "You should be taking notes, son. This one," Lord Borr," knows the way things work. You'll be the leader of this Lounge," Lord Borr announced. "You'll be...," Lord Borr paused to consider the perfect title. His face spread into a wicked grin. "You'll be Borr's Leading Lad. And you will be my second in command in this room. Mr. Jones is going to be our scout."

"I'll have a talk with the Minister. Put in a good word for you both, mention our little Men Club," Lord Borr felt another wave of gas rumbling. He was going to have to excuse himself soon. But not quite yet. He was tickled pink at the first to recruits.

"What do you think boys?" Lord Borr punctuated the question with a long, shrilly release of air. Leather couches were just not for him. He was going to need a cloth chair.

'Borr's Leading Lad'? Oh Merlin... Merlin... Can't... Stop.. The... Laughter... Will struggled manfully with a spate of giggles that were begging to be released, keeping his face impassive. Better to be a Scout than the Leading Lady... er, Laddie in Professor Borr's Trouse Toot Theater. Let Kingston sit in the lap of luxury (not to mention Borr's lap!) and take every meal in the lounge with a side of Berty's bum-air biscuits... steamy and not-so-very-fresh. Ew. Go for it, kid. If that's leadership, have at. Let you be the one to drop dead of a severe fart attack. Will would rather be the 'scout', safe.. and hopefully dining where the air was palatable.

"I think that's brilliant." Will said with a nod as Professor Borr lifted off again. He tried to breathe through his mouth but even that was too awful and did nothing to mask the odor. Lacking any other alternative, he lifted his cookie up to his nose and tried to focus on smelling it instead of the thick and acrid aroma that filled the air, but instead what he got was the scent of chocolate chunk cookie with an infusion of Borr. Oh, Merlin, don't hurl... Do. not. hurl. he told himself, fighting the urge to expel his stomach contents. "And it's very kind of you to speak... to the minister..." Breathe, Will! BREATHE! "...on our behalf." He finished, trying to keep his composure. After all, it didn't smell that much worse than the swamps back in Louisiana after a flood. Ookay, yeah, it really really did. But still... He concentrated on the smell of the cookie. Smell the cookie. Smell ONLY THE COOKIE... Oh God the smell! It burns the FLESH!!!!

He looked to Kingston, wondering what he might add to the conversation, hoping that it would end soon before he passed out.

Argyle pops into Lord Borr's lounge carrying a huge tea tray. It is loades with a dozen cups and saucers and several pots of teas. Argyle does not know what tea Lord Borr likes, so Argyle has brought every tea the kitchen has stocked: English Breakfast, Earl Grey, Green, White, Oolong, and Black. Argyle also has a platter of biscuits every kind imaginable. Argyle has heard Lord Borr has a tremendous sweet tooth, and Argyle wants to be sure Argyle satifies it. Argyle places the tray on a table and waits for further instructions.

Kingston gave a smug smirk as Borr pointed out to Will that he should be more like Kingston. He felt very proud of himself at that moment. It was great achievement to man who obviously detests some people like him. Once Borr announced that he shall be his Leading Lad, the corner of his lip twitched. Don't laugh, Wendleworth. Don't you dare laugh. "I would be very delighted to be your second in command, Sir. It is a privilege that I will take very seriously."

Good. Now he's in good terms with Borr. Just what he needed. Seems lessons with the Viscount on how to treat people payed off.

Kingston gave a small bow of his head towards Lord Borr. "That is a very generous gesture, my Lord. You are a generous, caring man." He knew he was boasting up his ego. But, people like Borr needed their ego to be boasted.

His smile slowly faded once the smell invaded his nose. Faking a sneeze, Kingston pulled out a tissue from his pocket and pushed it to his nose. Breathing into it for a few moments to save himself from the horrid smell, he acted like he was rubbing his nose. "Excuse me," he sniffed, "I think I must be catching a cold." Kingston lied, rubbing his nose with his scented tissue. "I'm terribly sorry, my Lord."

Once the smell started to fade away, Kingston pulled away the tissue and looked around for a trash bin. The moment he found one, he looked up at Borr and smiled. "Do you mind if I throw this here, my lord?"

Lord Borr gave his Boy Scout a wink. "Don't you think you should be off doing some scouting? The day is wasting and every minute we leave these boys out in the world, is a minute lost!" Lord Borr stood to see the boy out, paying the house elf little attention. He shoved it out of the way with his good knee and opened the Lounge door. "If you see Ignatius Potter," Lord Borr hissed, "you let him know that I'm waiting for my cane. You let him know that ole Berty doesn't forget." Lord Borr tapped his sweaty forehead with his clammy forefinger. His stomach gave a twitch that everyone within a mile radius could have heard.

Lord Borr's bowels were not accustomed to the new food. He rested his hands on his belly.


"Kingston - use your handkerchief to run that elf off. Elves should be SEEN and not HEARD. They should not stand around gawking. Run him out of here and I think we'll call it a day."

A hiss escaped Lord Borr's lips. He stood up straight as a stick, holding his in belly... and other things. "Yes. Definitely be calling it a day boys. Off with you. Off." Sweat was pouring off of Lord Borr and his stomach was rolling like an avalanche.

Oh Merlin. Dear. Sweet. Merlin. That does NOT sound good. Will's eyes grew wider and wider in purest fear as he heard not-so-distant rumbling from deep within the bowels of Lord Body Burp-- er, Berty Borr; an ancient and horrible sound that promised another onslaught, this one of Apocalyptic proportions. He didn't need telling twice; the Bowels of Borr were approaching. That man's already ripe enough to gag a maggot... I gotta get out of here before the next Fartorama starts... This one's gonna be a ripsnorter! He jumped up from his seat, trying to ignore the deep and dank, rich, putrescent stank of Lawdie Borr.

"Yes sir, I'll do so- thank you for your time... " He said in a rush, looking to Kingston. His inner voice shrieked to Kingston: 'Run now, while you still have the chance! Don't you hear the rumblings? The portent of noxious doom? RUN! RUN! RUN!' Perhaps he and Kingston would both benefit from learning an invisible bubble-head charm. In fact, maybe they could become friends. After all-- no one else would understand like Kingston would. They were sharing their own private corner of Hell, located right here in the Borr lounge.

But for right now, Will was too much of a Slytherin to worry about sticking around and saving Kingston from his flatulent fate. Exit, stage right- with a quick and polite bow to both Borr and Kingston, he Excelsior Black'ed out of the room.

Another second more in this room and Kingston knew he would start seeing the white light people would talk about when death arrives. If that white light would supply him with fresh air when it would come, Kingston will not hesitate. Not even a second.

Gulping as he heard his stomach giving a twitch, Kingston twitched himself. Oh bloody hell he cursed, taking a few steps back as he was standing. Heaven's above, if you have any bit of mercy on me, please, I beg of you, not now. The blonde prayed. If he wasn't in front of Borr right now, he'd have his hands clamped together in prayer.

Kingston's eyes slightly widened as Borr told him to use his tissue to shoo off that elf. He felt pity for the poor thing. But, Borr asked him to do what he told him to do.

"Go away elf," he spoke with confidence. He never tried speaking elf before. All of the help that was in his house were humans as his family hated having elves around. "Your presence is not needed by Lord Borr. Go on. Shoo."

Dear God how he hoped the elf would go.

But, before he would see if the elf was gone, Borr had given both boys permission to go out. Oh thank you God. He though, fighting the urge to cry out of happiness. This was probably one of the most happiest days in his life. Looking over at Will, he saw the boy giving him a desperate look. It was as though he was telling him to run.

And run he shall.

"Thank you for having us, Sir. I can not express how--" Disgusting? Horrifying? Tormenting? Agonizing? Many words to express how he felt right now. Not one of them was right. "honored I am to be with you." And then with a bow out of respect, Kingston raised his head and slowly walked towards the door. He did not want to show how eager he was to walk out of the door and smell fresh air.

Lord Borr had reached his limit. The sweat was rolling down the back of his neck, down his cheeks and into his shirt. The rumbling in his lower regions sounded like a coffee pot starting up.

He had to go. And he had to go immediately.


Lord Borr RAN past the boys, over the elf, all the while his hands clutching the seat of his pants. His heavy and urgent footsteps could probably be heard all the way over at the girls' school. "LOCK UP MY LOUNGE," he called back before disappearing into the first floor restroom.

My the mercy of Merlin, Lord Borr made it on time.

He almost had his foot outside of the door. He was almost there. Almost to freedom.

Almost there...

But then, Kingston heard some pounding. He stopped, frozen and horrified as he watch Borr run past him. Never in his life has he seen a man run like that. A fat man like Borr to be precise. The moment he heard the man call out for the boys to look the door, Kingston looked at Will, his eyes telling him that they were very lucky to not have witnessed what Borr was going through in that room.

"Well then..." he murmured, taking out his wand as he had no key to the room. Charming the door to lock, Kingston looked back at Will and gave him a gentle smile. "Now, my friend I suggest we walk away from this room. I don't think it's good for our health."

It wasn't very long till Kingston found himself in front of the lounge's door. Looking up, he noticed that Borr was still asleep, which was good since he'd be DOOMED if Borr catch him like this. Opening the door, Kingston walked into the room and carefully let Borr come in. He wouldn't want another accident.

Slowly, he then lowered Borr onto the couch. Once lain, Kingston looked around for a blanket. A man such as Borr must have a blanket or something to cover up in when asleep. Finding one, he placed it on Borr. Staring at the man for some time, Kingston took a few steps back and fell onto the armchair.

"I'm doomed."

"Your homework is to list 20 reasons why hand cleanliness is important!" Lord Borr's snapped as soon as his eyes were open. He blinked. Blinked again. "WHAT? WHAT IS -- what am --" Lord Borr was mighty confused. He'd been having class. Now he was in his lounge. With Mr. Wendleworth. Something did not add up. "Mr. Wendleworth."

It was a few moments after that Lord Borr woke up, snapping. This had made Kingston jump from the armchair, his eyes a bit wide. With a soft gulp, he rubbed the growing bump on his head and stood up as the man had made eye contact with him.

"Lord Borr," he murmured, "I'm glad to see you awake."

He had stood, outside the Lounge, while Kingston had gone in. Shel still stood there, now, and the little screams of 'WHAT?' coming from inside made him realize that something was not right.

Weak Bewitched Sleep Charm. Darnit!

Time to leave. Shel sure was glad he had not gone inside. He didn't want to get into trouble for what Kingston had done. At all. He tiptoed away, feeling a little sorry for the Leading Laddie. Common room, common room, here I come.

The Lounge - as smelly and noisy from within as the larger part of their first History of Magic lesson had been, he was sure - was soon behind, waayyyy behind, and the familiar common room much nearer. Shel breathed deeply, gladly inhaling the scent of all that was non-Borr.

Oh my, was he glad to get away!

"I -" Lord Borr didn't have much recollection of the end of his lesson. He didn't like it much either. "You stay right here, Lad. I will be right back. Must check something."

Lord Borr stood up, rubbing his shoulders. They were a little sore, like perhaps he'd hit something. His eyes narrowed around the room but the only person around was his Leading Lad. Bah.

Lord Borr exited the Lounge and returned to his classroom.

Sorry...please delete...

Kingston nodded his head as Borr asked him to stay here. His stomach felt like it was twisting from how nervous he had been. Was he in trouble? Oh dear god he hoped he wasn't. Swallowing that imaginary lump, Kingston watched as Borr walked out of the room.

Relax Wendleworth. Just relax. Breathe. Breathe.

Will walked up to the lounge, sighing. He wished like mad that he had not asked Borr for an audience, but it would seem strange now if he didn't show up-- rude, at least. Suspicious, at worst.

He had to suck it up. Me and my big mouth. he thought, knocking on the door.

"Can't depend on anyone! Did you know," Lord Borr was ranting well before he re-entered his lounge, "that those little dummies were STILL in class? What time is it? What were they doing? No BRAINS. None of them!" Lord Borr slammed the door back behind. "WHAT IS GOING ON?!"

Kingston's eyes widened in horror as Borr started to shout the moment he stepped into the room. He saw Will behind Borr, but it seemed as though the man ignored him. With a gulp, he stood up his hands linked together.

"Well, my lord, you see..." Kingston paused, trying to figure out which words he should use. "Ahem. You see you had drifted off to sleep, my lord. And as your leading lad, I thought it would be very rude to wake you up and deal with ignorance like them. So, I saw it was my duty to trasnport you back to your lounge, my lord. I assigned them homework and I did tell them that class was finished. This proves how utterly stupid they are."

With a long pause, he sighed and rubbed his brows. "I am very sorry to if I have disappointed you, my lord. I assure you that this won't happen again. Again, I am sorry." He apologized, with a bow.

Will's eyes widened as Hurricane Berty blew past him, slamming the door in Will's face as he entered the room. He could vaguely hear him bellowing and Kingston's responses. He leaned against the wall, grateful to not be in that room at the moment, glad he had not been noticed.