He shut his eyes and shook his head.

"It isn't my miii..." He stopped to move a hand gently under her chin and lift her face and spoke gently. His voice deep, low and slow lava, as it had been earlier when he gave comfort to a friend. "It isn't my mind. I have the clarity to see and relay that much." The problem was, he didn't know what it was if not his mind. "Please...please don't say that. I don't feel kind at this moment. Anything but." He realized how unkind he was being by keeping her there any longer. He let her go. He wasn't going to try and keep her there with his words or actions. He knew what it was to be strung along. Kept for the sole purpose of entertainment by the one who holds your heart captive. This butterfly deserved better than framed and dried.

"I will...see you around, Xana."

She shook her head almost imperceptibly.

"No." she said softly. She slid off the boulder, leaving his robe behind, and started to walk away. She turned back to face him , to look into those green eyes she adored one last time.

"I will always love you, Claudian."

And she walked away, away from the castle... vanishing into the dark of the nearby trees. She almost made it completely out of his earshot before she began to sob.

Almost.

He fought himself to go after her. The sounds of her sobbing pulling, tugging, ripping at his core like a marionette. He was not comfortable with her suffering. But to go after her would prolong her pain and he was not prepared to do that. Had this been Katelyn, or Ellie, or anyone else, he could've gone after her and made this right, but in her state of mind, receiving attention from him might've made it worse.

'Mwen renmen ou ak tout ke'm...'

Jai walked down to the lake it had been a while since she'd been there. She sad heavily on the ground and sighed "School sucks." she muttered angrily. "It never give you what you want even if you deserve it." she sighed and through herself back.

The chain around her neck that was given to her by Josh, burned icey hot on her skin and she took it out of her blouse "Sunflowers." she smiled and blushed at the same time. Jumping to her feet she ran back to the castle.

Heather walked down to an empty spot near the lake her wand in one hand her guitar in the other.She leaned against the tree pulling it out of her case.Along wit that she pulled out a sheet of muggle looking music.She levitated it in the air and began to play.

Her hand brushed over the strings with ease as if lifting her thoughts to the sky.She closed her eyes and saw flashe of every litte thing she had donw.Taking a deeo breath she began to sing knowing no one would hear her but the birds,"Story of my life Searching for the right But it keeps avoiding me Sorrow in my soul 'Cause it seems like one Really loves my company He's more than a man And this is more than love The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rollin' in Because I'm gone again And to him I just can't be true
And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful And it kills him inside To know that I am happy With some other guy I can see him dyin' I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be... A murderer."
She finished the last few bars with tears sliding down her face.She pulled out a blanket laid down on her side and covered herself up allowing her body to drift off into a nightmare she didn't want.

Elle slipped out of her jacket and layed it across the grass. There were hardly any clouds in the blue, Empty sky. She sighed as she layed down on the soft grass with a *Thud. " Ahh, Finally some Peace..." She said slowly closeing her eyes. All the homework and Drama during this week Drove her mad. She had Absolutely no time for rest, Or a full meal. These days the only thing she was caught doing was either homework, or quickly walking too ANOTHER class. She just wanted to get out, too escape the dreary thought of any sort of education. She then Slipped into her magical dreams...where everything was right, but completely wrong....

Once more to the lake. He found it relaxing. A place of solace and clarity. Surprise and wonder. It was starting to warm up and Claudian could pick up, without having to dig through frigid ice, a small stone and toss it into the lake. He watched it fly, like a star cutting through the night sky, dip into the water with a plop, and sink...well, like a stone.

Xana walked down toward the lake, hoping to have some time to clear her thoughts and meditate for a bit. This week had been getting exponentially worse by the day; she needed to take a break and just watch the moonlight on the water. She needed to think. She walked down to the lake and settled herself under her favorite tree... as far as she could see, she had perfect solitude.

Claudian reached down to the thawing ground and picked up another small stone. Thinking he was alone, he wound this one up in a playful manner. But winding it up too dramatically his hand let it go and sent it flying behind him, where it briskly tapped the bark of the tree under which Xana was settled. He turned around to see it fly and saw the little red-haired girl. Her tiny frame bathed in shadows and a few sparse moonbeams from a stingy cloud covered sky.

If his guilt for not getting back to her in time for the Arithmancy final wasn't enough, the fact that he missed the chance to apologize in the common room made his guilt nearly unbearable.

"Xana? Xana Venefica is that you?"

Oh. great. Just... great. Not only was she not alone... but it was Claudian of all people-- as if this day hadn't been emotionally taxing enough. She was beginning to think the universe hated her.

"Yes. Hello, Claudian."

"Hello, Xana." He said smiling weakly in her direction. After a long silence on his behalf, he spoke again. "I'm...Xana, I'm sorry that I stood you up. I can only imagine what you must be thinking." He put his hands behind him and began to take slow, wide-paced steps toward her. "I won't bore you with the 'why's'. Just my apology is all I have."

"Can you forgive me?"

Xana was taken by surprise. An apology was the last thing she'd have expected... she presumed that he hadn't given her request another thought.

"Yes... Of course." She was about to add that she didn't think he owed her an apology, then realized that that would be a lie-- and so held her tongue.

"Thank you. I appreciate your forgiveness." He was relieved. He had at least once entertained the thought that she might never speak to him again, and he didn't like it. Reaching the tree, he stopped and stood for a moment looking to her...at her...through her. "You know, I'll bet that even without my help, you did well on the final...probably better than I've done. You are so smart, Xana. Did you know?" He said, not really expecting an answer. She didn't seem to know half of the great things that she was. He leaned his large body on the otherside of the tree and highly resembled an enormous bruin making the best of a textured bark. "So other than my flakeyness,...is everything alright?"

Kayla stumbled her way through the path into a small clearing and walked straight smack into something very large. She stumbled backwards and looked up to see a huge Slytherin guy standing in front of her. "I'm sorry" she apolgised. "I wasn't looking where I was going, sorry to interrupt I'll just be on my way." She thought it best to go back to the common room seeing how this was the second time today she had physically run into a Slytherin and she didn't want a repeat performance of the incident she'd had earlier. The guy was way too big to be picking a fight with.

She smiled slightly. "I'm pretty sure I failed. My problem is, I just don't understand 'Y'. " Now that she thought of it, that was her problem in more than just arithmancy.

She actually laughed slightly at his broad question, innocent of the mess she'd made her life lately. "I think it's safe to say that virtually nothing is all right lately. But this, too, shall pass. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway."



Xana burst into laughter in spite of herself to see the tiny firstie run smack into Claudian, then rush away looking terrorized. It was all too surreal for words. "Are you okay? " she asked Claudian.

Claudian raised an eyebrow at the tiny Hufflepuff, as he looked down at her. "Quite alright." He looked at the girl for a moment longer. This was the same Hufflepuff girl that had been giving Ellie a hard time during Divinations class. He took mental note of that as she scampered off and away.


Claudian looked over to Xana and gave her a warm smile, followed by melodious tropical laughter. "Yea, I am. It's her I'm more worried about. I'm about the size of Jupiter, you'd think she'd've...seen me?" He raised his eyebrows as he spoke, looking a bit lost. He was genuinely surprised, though he didn't deduct any I.Q. points. He resumed his spot, pressed up against the tree.
At her reply, he furrowed his eyebrows. He nodded. "It shall. Everything does, eventually. And maybe you'll be left stronger for it?"

Xana relaxed a little at the sound of his laughter, warm and heady. "Truly bizarre-- random first years smacking into people blindly." She shook her head. This whole day had been completely surreal. "And yes-- at least the things that don't kill me, strengthen me. I truly hope. " She smiled faintly. "How are you? I've... not seen you around much... not since the duelling arena..." She alluded back to their last real conversation.

Heather walked out and sat against the tree trying to avoid the questions of fifty thousand people.So far it was impossible.She never thought she'd feel so confused and hurt and be so lost.She laid her head on her knees and covered her ears to drown out the sound of everyone and everything"Hopefully this is the place no one will find me."

Jake walked down and looked around for Heather.As he reached a spo he saw he there curled up.Walking over to her he gently moved her head so it faced his and uncovered her ears"Whats wrong my sweet rose.You seem so broken and distraught.Im actully waiting for you to commit scuicide."He sat down next to her and hugged her"Please tell me whats wrong."

Heather listend and then pushed him off"Don't touch me don't look at me.Im a horrible ugly monster and people are chasing after me asking questions and telling me it'll be fine.If everythings going to be so fine then when are my parents going to come back when is my best friend going to come back.When is my life ever going to go back into the same place it was five years ago, when i didn't know I was a witch?"

She had finally burst into tears and felt them run down her face"When is it gping to be my turn for that one perfect happy shot in my life.First my mom didn't want me then she hated me then she became my best friend.Now she's dead.My foster father and mother loved me to every last ounce and they're dead to.My real father died the night before I came back this year.When is all this going to turn around and change?"

He hugged her even more and pulled her close"Please don't push me away."He ran his finger through her hair"Look just because all this hapend when you found out you were a witch doesn't mean thats the reason why.The only person who can change the way your life is you.Just please don't push me away because your scared to lose me.I promise you that you'll never lose me to anyone or anything.I'm always yours my rose always."

Heather took a deep breath taking in his scent and innocence"I don't want to lose you and I know you said I wont but what am I supposed to do if I do lose you?"She held him tight"I love you so much but Im not in love with you like you are with me,at least i don't think so."

She stood up and pulled him up after her.She hugged him and then smiled.Playing with his hair in the back"Just stay away from me I don't want to lose you as it is.Im a monster that you don't need to get intwined with,"she whispered in his ear.She backed away from him and turned off heading to the castle.

He held out his hand for hers. If she gave it over to him, he'd give it a firm, gentle squeeze. "You're still alive. You must be pretty strong." He gave her a very warm smile.
"Me?" he seemed surprised for a fleeting second. "As well as can be expected, I suppose." he gave his neck a stretch as he was starting to feel the lack of sleep catching up with him. "I'm a bit tired, though." He said honestly.

Surprised, she took his hand, relishing the feel as his warm hand enveloped hers. "Some days, it feels as though I'm a tower of strength. Lately? I feel more like that firstie, running blindy into things that should have been obvious, and getting knocked down in the process." She smiled back at him, her eyes touching his. "Fall down six times, get up seven, right? It's all I know how to do, anyway."

A shadow of concern crossed her face. "Is it the finals? I feel terrible, having asked to impose on your time to help with arithmancy; I didn't even consider that maybe you were being overtaxed by the lessons or anything else. Selfish of me."

"Maybe you need a little clarity?" He gave her a small smile. 'Were his words not enough? Misconstrued to give her confusion? Why did she flirt so heavily with Marco?' Slughorn presumed that he'd lost her already, but what could he do? He was not willing to risk hurting his friends, even if to hurt one was to love another. No one's heart was in their own chest, but in the teeth of his or her chosen object of adoration.
"You shouldn't feel terrible. All you did was ask, and, you know, I did agree to help. I am so sorry, Xana." He said apologizing in a pronunciation that made it clear which of his parents did most of the apologizing that would've taught him the phrase. "Yea, it's finals." He said, telling a half-truth. She would worry and fawn over him, and he couldn't take that. Or could he? Would she? "And...I sometimes have a hard time sleeping, in general."