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We've all done it, we've all had that moment where we peruse the RP threads and come across something that is SO funny it makes you spit water at the screen and have to come up with hasty excuses for laughing at your computer. This is the place where those witty little quips, quotes and snippets can be posted for the enjoyment of others! Share the love and the lulz!
Formerly known as Quotable Quips, a place in SS Hogwarts Haven made just for keeping the events/posts that are just too good to lose. There are a few changes to how this thread works starting 2012! Firstly, it will be a per-term thread. Secondly you are not to post your OWN snippets as that is not in the spirit of the RP!
Please remember to abide by the following guidelines or your posts may be deleted.
1. All quotes must come from the School RPG. In the case of students being RPed outside the School RPG, they can still be quoted, just so long as it is the student/school characters. No KA, DA, MoM character quotations here, please.
2. Post only quotes. Comments can be submitted in the chat thread or via private message/visitor messages.
3.Please don't post your OWN character's quotes here. The point is to share some funnies and some love that others come up with. You can include your own character for context but the focus should be on someone ELSE being funny. After all, if you post something funny, someone else can pop it here!
4. In the event that something memorable occurs and it is either a large body of text (more than 6/7 sentences) or a collaboration of multiple posts by multiple people, then please submit it under a textcut or spoiler (you do them the same way!).
textcuts: can be achieved by typing in the following:
[textcut=type something here]place what you wish to share here[/textcut]
Example:
Text Cut: type something here
place what you wish to share here
Have fun and please remember SS rules apply at all times!
lives in a hobbit hole || Ern and Touz's Nuzzle || roflysst || looking at a seed packet
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wisher
Narumi walked over to the Hufflepuff table just to see how it was sitting over there. She sat down and looked around. Nope she didn't like it...Time to return to the Gryffindor table. No more coming over to that table it just felt weird being with all those badgers....
I just lol'd. I did. Too funny. I love Gryffindors.
__________________
love is like a letter wrote :: and life is like an envelope
be careful who you give it to :: they might not give it back to you
Wizarding World RPG Admin Minister for Magic Alley Proprietor
Romanian Longhorn
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: The Paths
Posts: 39,826
Hogwarts RPG Name: Briallen Ashburry-Hawthorne
Gryffindor
First Year
Hogwarts RPG Name: Nyle Harden
Hufflepuff
Second Year
Hogwarts RPG Name: Iris Harden
Ravenclaw
Second Year
Hogwarts RPG Name: Calliope Barrington
Slytherin
First Year
Hogwarts RPG Name: Diamond Marchbanks
Gryffindor
Sixth Year
Ministry Department Head:
Charles Hollingberry
Minister's Office
Ministry Department Head:
Airey Flamsteed
Mysteries
Diagon Alley Proprietor:
Zachaël Lufkin
Owl Post
x12 x12
astronomizzle ♧ gryffinDORK | & the rest is drag ♣ #badluckDerf
Mo, you may have won me over with this. Nigel, you are a good bro.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meizzner
Mo owed Nigel big for this.
Dressing up in a gorilla suit and delivering punny valentine date requests. Really. But the bro code did state that you must always have your bro’s back. No exceptions and Nigel did love puns. So here he was in a Gorilla suit delivering a message to Cat. Which he fully expected her to laugh at him because of past incidents.
He saw that the first part of Mo's master plan was already finished. So he walked up to Cat and gave her the note and with the necessary banana. Of Course. "Here is the second part of the message Cat"
SPOILER!!: Note with Banana Attached
I'm bananas for you!
Why say his name when she could tell who he is by voice. Thank Merlin, this suit was not messing with his hair.
__________________
When you’re stuck in a moment and your spark has been stolen .................................................. ........... this is our time to own it, so own it..................................... baby we were born withfire and gold in our eyes
Dem Carters | even 🕊🕊 have pride | | Expecto PAWtronum 🐈 | U-NA-GI
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpinkpixie
Hobbling along with his cane and using the blonde woman for support, the astronomy professor entered the staff room and squinted to try and make out all the figures in the room. Should have brought his magnifying glass with him. Should have brought it.
Why was he being escorted here again? Running his fingers through his grey hair, he stood in the doorway for a few long moments and contemplated getting himself a nice warm cup of hot chocolate - researched said it can ward off dementia after all - when it hit him as to why he had been brought here. Lots of people in the room. Students too. IT WAS SO OBVIOUS!
"A belated surprised birthday party for me?!" he grinned as his old man lips smacked together and......
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT
Oh, not a silent one that time. Excitement made him gassy these days. Oops.
Now where was his party hat and stewed prunes?
Airey has a lot built up hot air these days.......
Bolding by me, of course.
__________________
Days of Potter 2023:___________________________ Which Bertie Botts Flavour Are You? You are Salt!
Giving her hand a firm squeeze, as firm a squeeze as his feeble old hands could manage that is, and smiled at her. Despite the wrinkles on his face and age spots that seemed to covered every inch of his skin, the twinkle still remained in his blue eyes. "I'm...going to need to stand for this," he muttered as he pulled himself out of his new seat by clutching on to the table.
And since Airey Flamsteed was never one to do things subtly...
He removed his wand from his enchanted breast pocket and gave it a flick so music soon filled the Great Hall. It was much easier to express this sort of thing in song. Feelings became more of a performance that way. A genuine performance, but still a performance that he could get lost in and forget about logic during.
"There's nothing you can do that can't be done. Nothing you can sing that can't be sung. Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game. It's eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasy," he sang while balancing himself with the back of his chair. Good to know that the old pipes were still working. "Nothing you can make that can't be made. No one you can save that can't be saved. Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time. It's eaaaaaaaaaaaaasy."
Feeling a bit more sprightly for an old fart, he let go of the back of the chair and stood on his own two feet as he continued to serenade Medea.
"Love is all you need....Love is all you need..."
Feeling more than a bit out of breath, Airey all but collapsed on to the back of the chair once again for support before he looked back towards Medea. "Medea Romanos, I need to let you know in case the worst should happen, but I have to tell you that if life were a math problem, you'd be integral to my solution. The Na+ to my Cl-. You’re my 42." He paused for a moment to pant some and try to catch his breath. "I mean. What I mean is. I. Um. I. You. I. Hearts. Iloveyou."
Dem Carters | even 🕊🕊 have pride | | Expecto PAWtronum 🐈 | U-NA-GI
Not particularly funny, but cool enough to save
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarShine
So the banner thing they did back in the term looked shiny and nice, and Cosgrach would have congratulated the kid if he knew who s/he was. Oh well.
Time to say goodbye, eh?
He isn't a man to reflect on his feelings, so don't expect me to write a lengthy post containing that. But he did reveal he's IMMENSELY enjoyed teaching, minus the oldness epidemic that those Mungo people'd better come up with a cure for, so that's his way of saying he loves you and is thanking you for a beautiful year.
Except Kevin Hirase. That boy had to learn some manners before coming to school again.
__________________
Days of Potter 2023:___________________________ Which Bertie Botts Flavour Are You? You are Salt!
not throwing away my shot | Slytherpuff | roll for initiative | woof you ❤
This just has to be left here in case anyone hasn't seen it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpinkpixie
Research had gotten the best of him again and thus the Astronomy professor was running uncharacteristically behind. Medea would forgive him, right? As long as he didn't make too much of a scene when he came in....which meant he would have to tone down his dancing a little and hum rather than belt it out. Which was a real shame considering the particular song. Classic King of Pop, you know?
Quietly opening the door to the dueling arena - heh, was Mr. Hirase in here? - he not so subtly began to dance his way along the wall until he made his way to the front, all the while humming a certain tune and trying (sort of) not to be to much of a distraction. The crimson hue of his suit made him stand out like a sore thumb in the sea of school robes.
Arriving at the front of the room, the astronomer changed his course and made his way in a very counterproductive way towards Medea until he was standing beside her. "Figured I could lend you a hand," he smirked as he removed exactly that from his enchanted suit pocket, his blue eyes twinkling mischeviously.
And my favorite, the puns
Quote:
Originally Posted by Romanos
"It'll surely come in...handy."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flamsteed
Ooooooooh look at that! Medea was playing along with the hand puns. He had to wonder how long they could keep this up before they became too much of a handful to keep up with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flamsteed
He was just here to be the handyman.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Romanos
Despite not wanting to touch it, she could...handle it, somehow. Couldn't be a defense teacher without having the stomach for certain things, right? With a hovering charm! Flicking her wand, the arm float up above them momentarily before settling parallel in perfect view. Certainly won't be shorthanded during the lesson now.
Gareth (Fira) and Theo (Emzily) are apparently fighting, and Sophie Newell (Anna Banana) is precious.
Text Cut: Thank you for making my day!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emzily
PLOP.
Right into a beanbag.
It made a lot of noise and Theo momentarily froze from thinking he had ripped it. Making sure no one was looking at him, he peeked down to examine the beanbag, but it was all good. Besides he knew a repairing charm anyway, right? Ehhhh, kinda. Ehhhh, maybe he'd ask someone else to do it for him. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Now, who was here? Oops, didn't care. Theo leaned backwards into his beanbag and closed his eyes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fira
Seated comfortably in one of the single armchairs, Gareth was enjoying a slow reading of one of his "books without covers". Yes, they were books yet he had covered the covers of all his books, including school text books, with empty parchment for...many reasons. No one needed to know what he was reading or looking at.
Especially not this one.
Just when he thought he was enjoying a quiet and peaceful reading moment, someone nearby made a weird noise of dropping themselves on something and Gareth automatically frowned at the sound. He moved his gaze off the book to stare at the person. Head Boy person. Eh...apparently he enjoyed throwing himself on beanbags which were seats only for kiddos.
Hiding his smirk with the book without a cover, he spoke adressing the head boy with a much louder tone than he normally would.
"You know...you didn't need to fart here. Care to find yourself a bathroom the next time."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emzily
O____________O
Theo's head did a slow-mo turn, trying to keep it subtle just in case the FART comment wasn't actually aimed at him. He kinda knew it would be, though. And alas, some new kid was looking right at him looking totally pleased with himself. Theo went the brightest shade of red and his eyes danced around to room to see if anyone was looking at him.
OH, the shame.
This kid would pay for that. He was disrespecting the HEAD BOY OF HOGWARTS.
"It was the b-EAN bag!" His voice squeaked. Theo's voice hadn't squeaked so much in a long, long time. He scratched the back of his head and sent the kid one of his most angry glares. On his list forever now, dude.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fira
Gareth tried not to "laugh out loud" and just had this big smirk of himself on his face which he hid with his open book he was holding. Oh...was the cool Head Boy freaking out?! That was such a sight. An absolutely fun one. Amusing.
"Bean bag?" he said with a tone of disbelief and he wore a serious expression as he closed his book with no cover and put it aside on the armchair he was sitting in. "Seriously, Head Dude? I thought you would be able to come up with better than that." When he heard this girl (Sophie) let out an exclamation of disgust, the Slytherin boy tried not to smirk. The other girl (Vinnie) looked like she believed the Head Guy though. How sad.
Then the voice happened again. "Lemme check." Gareth said, stood up and casually walked towards the Head Boy and his guilty bean bag. And just when he was beside him, he let a silent one out.
"MERLIN'S FLYING PANTS!!!!'' he exclaimed after pretending to smell the air around the Head Dude. Then he made an act of gagging and ran away from him. "I didn't know bean bags let out awful smells as well. WE NEED TO RUN NOW!!! EMPTY THE COMMON ROOM!!! HEAD BOY IS GONNA KILL US ALL WITH HIS FART BOMB."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emzily
...........
Theo had no words.
Actually, he had plenty of words. Plenty of shouty words. He stood up with extreme confidence, (it helped that he towered over the younger boy) and he pointed his finger right into his face. "Listen, you little prat... I dunno who you think you are... in fact I have no idea who you are... who ARE you?" Had Hogwarts employed a house idiot to get on the nerves of the other students? If they had then they had done a pretty good casting job.
"But I am the HEAD BOY... and..." Okay, where was this going? "... and you can't talk to ME like that and.... if you don't shut that massive trap of yours... you'll be evicted from the common room."
YEAH - BECAUSE THEO HAD THAT POWER APPARENTLY.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anna Banana
Then things got really out of control, which was EXCELLENT, because...well, Sophie loved when things got out of control! Especially when she wasn't involved. "AWWW, YES!" she called out, fist pumping in the air as she stood up. "There is ANOTHER fight in the common room, and this time, I'M not involved." She took a dramatic bow then added, "Thank you. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen."
Heh.
...and with that--"My money's on the Head Boy!" she exclaimed. Because, well, he had a badge and stuff and Gareth had nothing. Whoever said power didn't speak volumes had clearly never gone to Hogwarts. "You can evict people from the common room?" she asked. In that case... "Can he take HER with him?" She pointed boldly in BEVERLY WAYNE'S direction.
YesJess! | Captain Goggles | Mama Badger | Eva's Soul Sister | An OG™ | It's all in the Numbers
From the Muggle Studies Lesson; I just think this teenage angst is super cute!!!!
SPOILER!!: Josie & Ethan ... sitting in a tree....
Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetPeea
They were going to be making Pizza?
Well that was definitely something she'd never gotten the chance to do with Ella last term. But a part of her was wishing that she could have asked Ella to teach her that, so that she wouldn't be feeling as panicked as she was now. But thankfully, Professor Hadley said that they could work in pairs. BUT first, she had to go & wash her wands, as directed. Dirty hands probably weren't the best thing when it came to cooking, right? Right.
Walking over to the sink, she turned on the faucet as she washed her hands with clean soap & warm water. After that she walked by Professor Hadley where she was keeping the aprons & quickly took one in her tiny hands. Walking back towards her work station, beside that boy who'd waved & smiled at her before, she took a moment to put the apron on. Then took another few seconds to tie her hair up, because she definitely knew she didn't want any Josie hair in her pizza.
She took her seat beside the boy again & looked at all of the cooking supplies in front of her. Then at the boy from before. She cleared her throat & spoke in a rather soft tone, "S-So..U-Um...W-Would you want to partner up?" But then the babbling came about, "B-But you don't have to...I-I mean, I-I'm sure..I could a-always ask someone else.." She wouldn't blame him, she was babbling like someone had cast some Babbling Charm on her or something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mordred
Y’know, growing boy is hungry, and if he starts right away then maybe he’ll get to have his pizza sooner, yeah? With or without a part—
Ohwait. Hold on. Ethan caught sight of Josette as she got herself an apron and sat beside him. He knew that it was wrong to stare, but the Slytherin couldn’t help it. “What in Hades’ lair is going on?” Ethan thought as he closed his gaping mouth and looked away immediately. Did he just watch her don her apron and tie her hair? Ethan felt his ears go red in embarrassment and swallowed the bile in his mouth. Simultaneously, he looked for Simon. Where is he? Cutty? Grayson? Guys?
What.Is.Going.On.
The Slytherin blinked a couple of times when Josette started talking. She was actually talking to him? Did she just ask him to be her partner? FOR REAL? Ethan, for the first time, didn’t know what to say. He felt like his brain was running on a 128mb RAM, and hated it. Why can’t he talk?
Wait. She’s not gonna go and find another partner, yeah? “No! I mean...uh. Yeah, I’d love to partner up with you.” Ethan paused and grinned as soon as he got his momentum back. MERLIN. Hopefully he wasn’t blushing. That’s the last thing he needed that moment. The Slytherin bit his lip to prevent himself from smiling, then gestured Josette to look at the board. “Are we ready to give it a go?” he asked. “Uh...I’m not really a kitchen person. I...only eat, so...” Ethan shrugged as he tried his best to start a conversation. “I’ll help of course! Just...uhm...tell me what to do.” Yup, he was giving her the lead this time.
"Oh, for Merlin's sake, Mordaunt. Stop staring!"
__________________
___________________You should take your littlefinger and just point it in the mirror. ________________________________________Baby, maybe you're the problem✯
Professor Pink | Mrs. Bruce Wayne | I'm on a Goat | Glitterpuff | Dumbledore's Defense Squad | BHB
Nessarose Glendower is a great professor (as is, obviously, MJ). The background behind this quote is that a student caused a distraction at the door and then sneaked up behind Nessa and cast Tarantallegra on her. Her reaction?
Quote:
Originally Posted by emjay
”Mr. Hirase,” she began, her signature beamy smile simply erased from her face. ”If you wanted me to dance, all you had to do was ask. I almost always comply with that request.” Mhmm, she loved to dance but she would not against her will.. that simply was not right.
__________________
yeah, there's one thing about me that you should know________________________________ __________________________________________that I can't help from speaking my mind
Dem Carters | even 🕊🕊 have pride | | Expecto PAWtronum 🐈 | U-NA-GI
Classic Airey reaction to Professor Morgan's kittens is classic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bazinga
Her green eyes went to the man in the scuba suit and she beamed as she set down her kitty purse. The two kittens dressed in bow ties popped their little heads out to see what was going on. Looking down at her outfit she beamed back up at the man. "Well thank you sooo much Airey. I love being bright it makes everything a bit happier when you have happy colors on, don't you think?" She loved seeing bright happy colors it's why most of her tings were bright pink. Pink made her happy. "Any big plans for the summer?" He was seeing Medea, she thought at least. Maybe they were going away. All these cute staffy couples it was just too much cuteness. Cassie snapped bit more. "Congrats on your Lions by the way. Exciting race this term." She wondered if every term was like this. What fun if it was.
Turning her eyes to the other side of the table she saw everyone and thought maybe she could sneak over before the speech. Seeing the headmistress she grinned, "Annie, hello" It had taken her the entire term to call the woman by her first name. Still felt kind of weird calling a headmistress that, but she hoped she wouldn't mind. "You are looking lovely this evening. I love your shoes." Cassie always appreciated clothes and shoes.
SPOILER!!: Seren, Nessa, Leo, and everyone at this end
Seeing the other end of the table as she spoke to Annie, Cassie couldn't help but get up from her seat. Checking to make sure the kittens weren't thinking anything she beamed. Nope they would stay like good little kitties. Quietly the woman made her way over to the other side of the table. "Seren, I had to come over and wish you luck. It's been a joy getting to know you this term. The students will miss you and so will we." She knew she didn't know the woman long, but long enough to know they were losing fantastic Herbology Professor. Someone would have big shoes to fill.
Smiling at her bestie she gave her a quick hug. "Nessa, we did it! Our first term as Professors." It was a fun year even with the snow. She never really minded that part anyway. "I think we should reward ourselves with a shopping trip this summer, what do you think?" Yes, please say yes!! Bestie trips were the best! Her green eyes turned on Leo, whooops had she interrupted their conversation. "Leo, it's just so good to see you up and moving. How are you feeling?" Could she give happy hugs? She wasn't sure if she should incase he was still in pain. So happy snaps were going to do for now. "We were all so worried."
Her eyes moved to the rest of the table and she gave happy waves and "Hello" to the rest of the table. Her coworkers that she just so enjoyed being with this term. What fun it all was. [/color]
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpinkpixie
You know how the Divination professor was saying words? Words that were meant to be a casual and borderline friendly conversation between the two of them? Yeah, well, NONE of those words were heard by the astronomer as two BEASTS popped their heads out of her bag. Two BEASTS with sharp CLAWS and FANGS and BEADY EYES THAT BORE INTO HIS SOUL.
He didn't squeal or shriek this time - he was getting better about that - but he did suddenly leap side ways, knock his chair into Javy's, semi-crawl across the empty chair between himself and the Runes professor, and then end up halfway sitting on Old Man River's lap. What can we say, he HAD dressed up as Santa before. The man clearly just had one of those laps meant to be sat on. Just probably not by a grown 6'1" lanky Astronomy professor.
"WHY DO YOU HAVE FELINES AT THE TABLE?!" he sneered as he pointed dramatically at the BEASTS and his chin began to wobble ever so slightly.
MEDEA! DO SOMETHING!
please?
__________________
Days of Potter 2023:___________________________ Which Bertie Botts Flavour Are You? You are Salt!
Wizarding World RPG Admin Minister for Magic Alley Proprietor
Romanian Longhorn
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: The Paths
Posts: 39,826
Hogwarts RPG Name: Briallen Ashburry-Hawthorne
Gryffindor
First Year
Hogwarts RPG Name: Nyle Harden
Hufflepuff
Second Year
Hogwarts RPG Name: Iris Harden
Ravenclaw
Second Year
Hogwarts RPG Name: Calliope Barrington
Slytherin
First Year
Hogwarts RPG Name: Diamond Marchbanks
Gryffindor
Sixth Year
Ministry Department Head:
Charles Hollingberry
Minister's Office
Ministry Department Head:
Airey Flamsteed
Mysteries
Diagon Alley Proprietor:
Zachaël Lufkin
Owl Post
x12 x12
astronomizzle ♧ gryffinDORK | & the rest is drag ♣ #badluckDerf
speaking of the above...
Quote:
Originally Posted by DuckyLinJi
For years, Kevin had always thought that sitting at the staff table would mean some kind of glory or power rush. But he was wrong. This table had by FAR the most immature people …Flamsteed in his wetsuit and sitting on Botros lap, obviously trying to get away from the cute kittens that Morgan brought with her. Tillstorm badmouthing the Headmistress , which was actually kind of funny, and probably being a sore loser that her Snakes hadn’t won the cup.
He did however see the narrowed eyes from Culloden directed to him but he simply ignored it and instead focused his attention on Bentley who had smiled and waved at him. The Gryffindor waved back before he turned to the Headmistress after she had done her speech.. He knew he wasn’t allowed to speak but honestly, did he care? No. He just had to speak…politely…ugh how did one even do that all the time? “Are you sure it was a good idea to let me learn manners from these?” he raised an eyebrow as he added a “Headmistress?” to sound less rude.
yep. Good luck with that Kevin Hirase
__________________
When you’re stuck in a moment and your spark has been stolen .................................................. ........... this is our time to own it, so own it..................................... baby we were born withfire and gold in our eyes
doesn't proofread tweets | #wrongaboutcereal | #siriusly? | emo to the extremo
omg AJ's speech on unicorns I almost spat water at my poor laptop because of this omg
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixStar
Why did she want a unicorn? WHY DID SHE WANT A UNICORN? AJ stared at Zander for a full minute trying to process the question. Wasn't it obvious? Okay, he wasn't kidding. She blew out air and grabbed both of his arms. "Because Zander.... unicorns are AWESOME." She needed to take a deep breath because this was going to take a while. With glazed over eyes, AJ continued on with her little explanation. "Their hair is as soft as a babies bottom. Their soft hair and majestic manes makes me feel emotions that I have NEVER felt before. They have a horn, and they don't take crap from boys. Matter of fact I don't think they even like boys. Their blood Zander, their blood can bring people back to life when they are on the brink of death." Was he still with her? "They are very choosy with who they let love them, and I WILL make them love me. They challenge me Zander." It brought out the competitive side to her. That was probably what she loved the most about them. AJ could go on for days, but her grip on Zander was pretty intense, and they did have animals to buy. She slowly let go of him. Ahem.
__________________
Days of Potter 2023:___________________________ Which Bertie Botts Flavour Are You? You are Lemon!
Jedi Master•General Iroh•Java Junkie• King ♛ Stefan •Mycroft Holmes•Dragon Lord•Druid Boy
highlighted the funny bit. Lol. LOOL! All the lulz, Shan!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emms
Simon smirked at Sophie’s response. Heh. “Better now and good before? Sounds like you’re having an exceptionally good day,” he said with a wide smirk. Oh yes, Sophie Newell, don’t be oblivious. Simon Holden could see what was going on. So could Ethan probably. They were Holmes and Watson, masters of the subtlety even if the two acted like spazzes half the time. It was all a disguise. A clever, cunning disguise that had everyone fooled or so Simon would have liked to believe. “Congrats to your, mum. Are you looking forward to having another sibling in the family?” he asked curiously trying to avoid the glances going between Grayson and Sophie. OH. RIGHT. They thought they were being oh-so-secretive with all those glances. Please. Even a blind man could see it. Simon paused. I meant ‘see’ in the figurative sense cause a blind man can’t see and… he thought but got distracted by something else.
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"It didn't go quite as planned." | The Underground Studio Translation: I may have caused irreversible damage on a monumental scale.
Hiss!Roar!Growl!Caw! | Hermione's Double | The Little Three | Alecate
There's a snake gathering at Florean Fortescue's, and Sophie Newell (my charrie) has just asked Grayson Whitlock (hermionesclone) if he's single. In steps Ethan Mordaunt with his ukelele to sing them a song:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mordred
His ears attention shifted to the only girl in the group. Next summer will definitely be awesome because they can all go together! Just…not somewhere with snow, please? He had enough of that to last him five years at least. Ethan snapped up though when Sophie called out on him and Simon. If girls get to have girl talks, so can boys…although theirs are very brief. Hehehehe. Ethan got a playful smirk on his face telling Sophs that he won’t spill. There was no need anyway…because…WAITWHAT. Did she just…asked Grayson if he’s seeing someone??! Merlin! He needed a song! PRONTO!
The boy cleared his throat, closed his eyes and just let his fingers do the talking. Strum strum strummm.“…♫♪THIS GIRL IS ON FIIIYAAAAAAAHHH!!! This girl is on fiyaah! She’s walking on fiyaaahhh!! This girl is walking on fiyaah… ♫♪” MERLIN. Those were really high notes right there. And he didn’t even do warm ups. Poor vocal chords. Anyway…strumstrumstrum. Ethan then eyed Caleb…UH-OH. Time to shift the chords and think of another song!
Ethan could not…for the life of him think of an appropriate song because….LOLOLOL! Did Grayson just…said baby? HAAAAAAAHAHAHA! Why did it sound so funny???! Ethan felt his face turn red, smacked his forehead with his hand, then covered his mouth…his shoulders shaking from laughing as the he-snake tucked Sophie’s hair behind her ear. This was too much, Merlin! TOO MUCH! Hahaha! Aaaand there was the subject change. Still laughing and covering his mouth, Ethan raised his hand, and nudged Simon to do the same. Of course he’s ready to win the House Cup. And what was up with the kicking?! Ethan eyed all of their feet and shifted his attention to Simon. Was he okay? MERLIN’S BEARD. This flirting thing…plus the overprotective brother meant them getting hurt…at some point. Take Exhibit A: Simon Holden.
doesn't proofread tweets | #wrongaboutcereal | #siriusly? | emo to the extremo
Truebridge vs Red Vines, who will prevail?
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpinkpixie
And then Cassiopeia and the Headmistress had arrived and he wiggled his box of muggle candy in their direction. "Red Vine?" Which was apparently his replacement for a proper greeting. All the Headmistress' fault. He tended to clam up in the woman's presence.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BanaBatGirl
A Red Vine? VINES?! "You're eating PLANTS?" the Headmistress gasped, appalled at the Astronomy professor. It was one thing to not respect another's subject, but to openly MOCK IT in front of students, staff, AND said person, who also happened to be your BOSS?!!
She snatched the proffered red thing out of Flamsteed's hand and held it up to the light, trying to investigate this so-called vine for any sign of remaining life. "Petrified, just as I feared," she murmured, tenderly rubbing her hand against the vine's weirdly ridged surface. "Just what genus DOES this red vine belong to, Flamsteed?" Annie looked up sharply, squinting in the sunlight toward the suspicious Astronomy professor. "Vitis? Ampelopsis?!" And how HAD he given it such a thick, rubbery-like texture so it was edible?!
She only briefly acknowledged the other professors and students watching the match, much more focused on her the red vine instead. "Is shouting even allowed in this sport," the redhead murmured under her breath to no one in particular. And WAS Gobstones a sport? That was the question of the day, really. Besides how did one TURN VINES INTO FOOD LIKE THIS. Hallow. It was hallow. How? Why? She wiggled the vine in her hand like a bouncy fake wand. WHY?
__________________
Days of Potter 2023:___________________________ Which Bertie Botts Flavour Are You? You are Lemon!
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We always love Staff Table drama, don't we?
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaniDiNardo
He'd gotten done with his office much sooner than he expected he would have. This left him a lot of time for a nap. What he didn't forsee was waking up even more exhausted than before he'd settled in but that didn't change the fact he had to get ready and head down to the Great Hall. Best he got there before the students started filling in, this way, he was at his leisure to stroll down the Great Hall, hands deep in his pockets and head turning in all directions. The nostalgia was kicking in faster than he'd have believed.
Maddox stopped at the top of the dais. "Headmistress." He said with a small nod. Fancy that, she brought her own rose. Allllll the way down there was...was...oh Merlin, he knew this. What was his name? (Leo) Uh...well, he'd remember soon enough but for now he got a nod and so did the one closer up the table (Javy) before the man flopped right into the seat next to the red head. This was his, right? And look! A note!
For him? Maddox opened it thinking just how thorough these people were with keeping the new ones informe--
O_O
.......ormaybenot. Ahem. He slipped the note into his pocket and was prepared to pretend this never happened. It was the Headmistress. It had to be. Just look at the way she was holding the rose. Merlin what had he gotten himself into??? Slowly Maddox rose, giving her an uneasy smile before hopping four seats over (Airey's) seat. This was a safe enough distance....yeah....he'd just...not be here til things started. Having decided that, the man casually slipped into the form of a black cat and curled up on the seat. You can't have a crush on a cat. This was safest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpinkpixie
Astronomy Tower in order and his newest, and most expensive collectible Star Trek figurines placed gingerly on the appropriate self in his office, the Astronomy professor made his way towards the dais with an extra bit of bounce to his step. In the manliest way possible, of course. He had a STELLAR feeling about this term - ABSOLUTELY STELLAR - in every aspect, professional and personal.
So it was with a wide smirk that he leaped over the steps to the top of the dais and began making his way towards his seat - but not before stopping by to give Meriberry a hard time. Entirely her fault. That monster of a patronus had sent Hershel on a peeing spree in his office from fright. "I wouldn't bother with the oogly eyes," he whispered to his colleague, who he seriously would need to catch up with later because Merlin it had been a while. "Married and not into the ladies." Not to mention rude on the occassion. Hadn't even let his sister down gently that he wasn't interested. Kiera bounced back though and apparently had been on a pretty fantastic blind date. "You look good in that seat, though," he saluted before his attention turned to Leobald "She's a talker, Leobald. Have fun."
Making his way towards the other end of the table, and noting that the Cecelia had not yet arrived, he passed by the Headmistress and offered the woman an eager salute. "Evening, Headmistress," he greeted as his arm lowered to his side. "You know, whenever I see roses I can't help but think of the Rosette Nebula. Are you familiar with it? It is also known as Caldwell 49 and is located in the Monoceros region of the Milky Way Galaxy. Quite breathtaking to behold. You can see it with the telescope in the Observatory, after some additional focus enchantments and tweaks. I highly recommend it!"
Right. Shutting up now.
Confident grin still on his face, he offered Javy a salute as well. Maybe without his partner-in-crime around these parts his seating area would finally be glitter free for a term - the common room was a lost cause. Those girls and their glitter in the girls' dormitories. Merlin help him.
Airey eyed the empty Charms professor's seat and shrugged his shoulders in an amused manner. It was to be expected, of course, that he would arrive before Maddox. Attention entirely on his enchanted breast pocket as he rummaged through it for something, the Gryffindor Head of House paid no mind as to where he was sitting - more specifically WHAT he was sitting on.
Not exactly plopping down in his seat, but rather slowly settling into it, his eyes widened when he felt something....squishy under his bum and immediately leaped to his feet. Knees crashing against the table in a dull thud, the astronomer spun around and...
"HOLYMOTHEROFBLAZINGCOMETS!" he manly shrieked as he toppled over backwards and landed right in Javy's lap. Complete with his arms hugging the Creatures professor around the neck like his life depended on it. THERE WAS A FEROCIOUS BEAST OCCUPYING HIS SEAT!
THIS WAS NOT FUNNY, MEDEA ROMANOS!
He loved her, truly, but she needed to STOP wanting all these creatures. And Chu Chu was still loose in the Gryffindor common room somewhere...
It was SO on!
Only just not yet. He was going to stay attached to Javy like a parasite for a little while more. Just in case the beast decided to attack.
__________________
AT THE HOGWARTS YULE BALL, YOU'LL BE HANGING OUT WITH....__________________ It's a fairytale evening, and you want the entire event to be totally dazzling and
a real experience with the friendliest people around you.
Teapot Occamy| gryphons&giraffes&goats,OH MY | chaser of the truth | flutiful❧
Just another feast at Hogwarts. Bolding by me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hpluvr037
So the usual insanity, apparently. Flamsteed was shrieking about an animal, Leobald was having a minor meltdown over something, Abraham was minding his own business at the end of the table, Anastasia was in the thick of the crazy, and Cecelia was complaining about something.
Just another feast at Hogwarts.
Tiara was attempting to mind her own business and ignore the ridiculous behavior of her colleagues. Besides, the students were streaming in and it was time for someone to be engaged in civilized behavior. "Abraham, new Head of House. A wonderful choice, in my opinion. How was your holiday?"
½ of Lauralie | Koala | The being in Ern's pocket | Baby Smurf | Prouf member of The Flock
Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomRaven
Being a seventh year student meant that they're gonna face NEWTS, like it or not. Failing isn't an option or she couldn't get a good university. So started studying now wasn't a bad idea, right? Bianca decided to visit the library to get a full concentration. Plus, she could get a complete reference there.
"Valorous morning, Sir." The brunette greeted the hot librarian. "I needeth some valorous books about history of magic. doth thee eke has't books about wizarding relations and diplomacy?" Okay, she wasn't hitting on him by speaking Shakespearean. She just thought practicing it in front of him wouldn't be bad since he's a librarian and he should've known Shakespeare, right?
I'm probably finding this funnier than I should be, but I think it deserves a mention here.
BOOMBAYAH! | #PuedoPorquePiensoQuePuedo | Certified Blank and Random Person | Raventastic
Okay, I think this is funny for me... IC and OOC reason my character said that too much study could make her brain fried and Kitridge's reaction is...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nordic Witch
Nodding in agreement Leo said "I really hope your brain doesn’t get fried. If you fear that might be happening later on in the year then go talk to Professor Culloden. He might know if there is a potion you can take against it." Or Cecelia might.
underlined emphasized by moi
__________________
AT THE HOGWARTS YULE BALL, YOU'LL BE HANGING OUT WITH....__________________ It's a fairytale evening, and you want the entire event to be totally dazzling and
a real experience with the friendliest people around you.
Last edited by RandomRaven; 01-10-2015 at 03:03 PM.
BOOMBAYAH! | #PuedoPorquePiensoQuePuedo | Certified Blank and Random Person | Raventastic
can I double post? Okay... I found this is totally funny
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenSnake
Natalia was actually having quite a good time humming, when the professor turned up.
The fourth year quickly nodded, smiling sheepishly as she shifted her feet anxiously. Did he want her to start attempting the charm now?
I'm going to start now. Natalia thought to herself, hoping that the professor would turn away from her and not watch her fail. Hehehe... this is going to my first attempt...
After a couple seconds of hesitation, the Lioness lifted her wand and exclaimed: "Expecto Patronum!" As expected, she was met by empty space. It was no no deal. Natalia understood that it was challenging magic; it was anticipated that most people would not be able to conjure it at first try.
Perhaps, a powerful charm required a powerful voice?
"EXPECTO PATRONUUUUM!"
Thaaaaat... was probably a little too loud, too loud that it would certainly scare the little corporeal animal away. Was there another way that she could approach this? The wand movement? The pronunciation of the incantation? THE CLOTHES THAT SHE WAS WEARING, PERHAPS?
"Expecto Pah-tro-NUM."
"Expect-OH Patrol-nuuum."
"Ex-pec-toe Pae-tro-nium."
"Expect-me at three tomorrow afternoon at the coffee shop."
"Ex-cuse me, why are you stepping on my toe?"
*AHEM* Natalia, please concentrate here.
"EXPECT MY PATRONUS."
"RESPECT MY PATRONUS."
__________________
AT THE HOGWARTS YULE BALL, YOU'LL BE HANGING OUT WITH....__________________ It's a fairytale evening, and you want the entire event to be totally dazzling and
a real experience with the friendliest people around you.
So....because of this sign (kudos to Mo), Zander ended up with a lint roller stuck to his hair:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lislchen
"OF COURSE I can!"
Maggie smiiiiiiiled at the professor before turning a little to look at Zander directly. Only to stare at Professor Flamsteed again a second later when he started crying yelling about his suit...and then his box. Seriously. What was wrong with this professor? Why had they hired him? Did he have some powerful connections inside the school? Was he the Headmistress' secret lover or something? How on Earth had he gotten this position?
ANYWAY.....back to Zander.
"You should sit down." Because he was taller than her, did he know? Yes of course he did. Which was why it was even more embarrassing for him to currently be at her mercy. His life was in her hands. Or, well, the life of his HAIR was in her hands. She pulled out her wand and just looked at him. "Unless there's a spell that can turn back time and give you more braincells I don't really think there's another way." Maggie had lowered her voice to make sure Professor Flamsteed didn't hear her remark.
So...? Shall we then?
Still waiting for Zander to do what she'd told him (like, RUDE), Maggie briefly glanced back to the box Flamsteed was on about. "Pebbles?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArianaBlack
"But--" Zander stood there just blinking. Completely dumbstruck. Okay, no he was almost 68% sure that the sign said to use the lint roller as a brush. Maybe even 78% for that matter!! Which meant he was pretty darn sure because Zander Adair was hardly ever 78% sure about anything. What the heck?! Someone else HAD to have seen that, right? His eyes were working perfectly fine, thank you very much.
Merlin.
What. The. Heck.
And here he thought he was two steps ahead of the game. Well he may have been two steps ahead but he also had a lint roller in his hair so really, who was the real winner here? Definitely not Zander. Or Flamsteed. It was probably Maggie tbh. That girl was having WAY to much fun with this.
Alright, alright he was sitting. Happy? RUDE. Maggie was SO rude. And once upon a time he had thought the girl was an angel willing to offer help. More like one of them dark angels of the underworld or whatever. This girl was Merlin's evil twin. Just as mighty, but probably a fourth the size (which meant her evil was more concentrated because there was a lot less of her to take it up).
"Okay, okay... Just don't let me go bald," he sat down in a chair and basically held his breath because his entire life was on the line here. He had been bald before thanks Bart and #NEVERAGAIN. Despite what Noel Wallace thought about the matter it's a very good thing Zander can't read minds because -___- thanks, Wallace Zander did NOT think less blonde would be a good idea thankyouverymuch.
Was he being dramatic? Maybe. BUT THERE IS A LINT ROLLER IN HIS HAIR. He ought to be. It was his right. Or uhh, something like that.
Sorry Flammy, but Zander had better things to worry about. So he only pretended to scribble down a list, whilst attempting to steal glances over at Maggie. Had she done it yet? What was taking so long? Merlin please not too much hair. It was precious.
SPOILER!!: uh, parchment
TV: satellites or something *insert tons of unnecessary scribbles here*
Computer: improved technology??? something spacey used in computer stuff??? *more doodles*
Container: Airtight seals so food stays fresh?? *LOTS OF SCRIBBLES*
........ BUT WHAT CAN SPACE DO FOR MY HAIR?!
These are the real questions we should be asking.
And that was just about how interested Zander was at the moment. Ahem. He was a bit preoccupied.
Merlin. If all his hair was gone by the end of the lesson.... Space would definitely hear about this fiasco.
Please also pay special attention to Zander's notes. And just general Zander-ness.
Professor Pink | Mrs. Bruce Wayne | I'm on a Goat | Glitterpuff | Dumbledore's Defense Squad | BHB
Zander is 100% responsible for everything that happened with this year's plot, you guys.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArianaBlack
So the acne DID clear up. Well that was good to know. Hopefully it meant his mandrake wouldn't look as awkward now either because boy was that thing an ugly teenager. Just saying. And Zander was kind of looking forward to the moving them around thing. It'd be kind of cool to see how much they changed, y'know? Despite the fact that it was a total pain the last time.
He went to grab his earmuffs, which she had remembered to bring to the lesson this time. Then after putting them on he stood for a moment to debate whether stupefy would be a good idea, which it probably would be. So the prefect took out his wand to cast a quick-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
HOLY MOTHER OF MERLIN.
THOSE WERE ACROMANTULAS!!!!! Actually, Zander had come across them face to face before. So it wasn't even as terrifying. They just brought back TONS of warflashbacks. Also IS THIS WHY THERE WERE SO MANY COBWEBS?
O M G.
They were back here to eat Zander and Aegis!!! They must've been mad after they were only able to get Gregoire the last time and HOLY COW. This meant he was totally and singly handed my responsible for this years Hogwarts mystery and total mass destruction. Uh. Talk about oops? So THIS is what Flammy meant by tidal waves. Huh. Makes sense now.
So he was in Herbology with the Headmistress that knew he was one of those responsible for aggravating the acromantulas last term and now those spiders were breaking in to eat them all. What else could go wrong? Probably loads of things actually. It was just a typical day at Hogwarts after all. Nothing out of the ordinary yet.
EXCEPT YES PULLING OUT THE MANDRAKE NOW!!!!
"TAKE THIS SPIDER SCUM!!!" .... Did mandrakes work against man eating beats? Also while we're taking the time here RIP Gregoire you will always be remembered especially now when we will probably die the same way as you the end.
Reason number 400067 as to why Zander should've skipped class today.
.
Oh, and RIP Gregoire!
__________________
yeah, there's one thing about me that you should know________________________________ __________________________________________that I can't help from speaking my mind
Teapot Occamy| gryphons&giraffes&goats,OH MY | chaser of the truth | flutiful❧
The acromantula with its turkey
Quote:
Originally Posted by ACROMANTULAS!
They had learned the hard way when they had attempted to take the two from the Chamber back to their lair. An invisible force had prevented them, but not out smarted them. Drawing from the experience of one of their kind who had ventured down to the wizarding village - and almost blown their cover by eating that one human - the acromantula carrying their newest victims scurried quite a ways away from the castle until they found the place where the invisible force ended.
"This way," sneered the leader carrying one of the humans (BanaBatGirl). "We'll take them to the others."
Which meant they had to scurrying back over the same distance now that they were back in the forest.
Moving swiftly through the trees, but also taking care not to allow any branches or shrubs whack their victims and spoiling them further, it was some time before they arrived at their lair and threw the three humans (BanaBatGirl, Samia, VRSCIKA) into a massive and sturdy web in the middle of their fortress with their previously captured pair (Squishy, Saraie).
"MOTHER! MOTHER!" they chanted excitedly, pincers creating an eerie and terrifying roar filled the ears and chilled the spines of everyone present.
Meanwhile, back at Hogwarts castle, their siblings continued to fight.
Except for the one off chasing after that patronus with its turkey clutched gleefully in its pincers.
Dem Carters | even 🕊🕊 have pride | | Expecto PAWtronum 🐈 | U-NA-GI
Just.......
From the Great Hall, I give you Zander Adair:
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArianaBlack
So now that Zander was back at Hogwarts again after a week long hiatus without any internet or cellular service of any kind-- Actually wait, no that's wrong. Zander Adair was at Hogwarts the whole time. Hm. Anyways. Tons of things going on at the moment. Like the fact that THE SPIDERS ARE COMING IN!!!!
And also, Zander wasn't one for violence or anything. But seeing as this whole thing was totally all his fault as he mentioned in an internal monologue somewhere in a Herbology classroom thread, he had to help. So he was gonna join the snakeskin crew, yeah? Which, okay... Gross first of all. This was kind of weird. And hopefully they got the skin in a humane way, right?
Not that any of that was important right now seeing as they were about to be spider lunch right now. Actually, how fitting. Getting eaten by spiders in the GREAT HALL, where people normally go to EAT anyways. Ah. This was very well planned. Incase they decided to go easy on him and take Zander to their leader, he'd have to mention how clever they were in this whole planning process. Not that Zander would let them get that far.
He had a school to save. So uh, running to the back of the snakeskin line and draping it over himself. This was happening.
FOR NARNIAAAAAAAA! Wait. Wrong fandom. Anyways. Forward march. Yeah, he was gonna do that now, thanks.
And also, the Entrance Hall:
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArianaBlack
Man. You'd think all his years of Hogwarts would've trained him for this moment?
No where in his Charms textbook did it say ANYTHING about how to act like a snake. And Zander would know. He practically ate pages of that book for breakfast all last year. Firstly, imagine how dull that must taste. Ink does not go well with skim milk, thank you very much. Thank Merlin Zander didn't try it with the strawberry jam, amiright or amiright???
Ahem.
But anyways. With or without training, Zander was pretty much sure that he was doing the absolute BEST snake impression that he had ever done in all seventeen years of his living and also a few months and days added onto that. He was basically an old man now. And what better initiation into the real world than being hired for a real acting job. Man, they should charge for this stuff. Though hopefully next time their audience would be much more respectful and nonthreatening. But then again, at Hogwarts that is a lot to ask for. Especially when you've got blood thirsty beasts like third year, Maggie Traulton running around.
Anyways he was slithering.
And also following Tanner's lead. "Stupefy!" Did it work? "Stupefy!" Y'know just incase. Ahem. You can never be too sure.
Underlining by moi, of course.
__________________
Days of Potter 2023:___________________________ Which Bertie Botts Flavour Are You? You are Salt!
Teapot Occamy| gryphons&giraffes&goats,OH MY | chaser of the truth | flutiful❧
Quote:
Originally Posted by ACROMANTULAS!
Scrambling and climbing all over one another, the acromantulas' numbers were visibly less and enough so that the floor to the entrance hall could actually be seen. There was an uncomfortable sheen covering parts of it, no doubt due to some involuntary secretion.
Meanwhile Aletag continued to try and whack the flaming balls with his hairy legs. The turkey, that had quite literally been through war and back, was now missing one of its legs that had fallen off a few moments earlier and lay forgotten on the floor.
"SAVE YOUR SPINNERETS! MOVE OUT! RETREAT!"
Steady stream leaving the castle, the horde moved towards their home in the Forbidden Forest. Those that remaining fell into four categories: thought they were dead from the 'basilisks'' gaze, were actually dead, were in the middle of fleeing, or were Aletag.
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The Extendable Ear QQ 
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I almost spat water at my poor laptop because of this omg 
