We all know that you're in love and that you just simply can't keep your hands to yourself... Well, this is the place to learn to! If you find yourself in this dungeon it means you've disgusted someone enough with your public display of affection that they actually threw you in detention. Hogwarts is for filling your head with magic and knowledge, not for making sure you learn the art of kissing. Prepare to be punished.

Patrick walked into the room and crossed his arms, standing there. How was his display of violence and resistance related to having a crush on Trixie or Ella? Actually he did quite like Ella but that wasn't the point. The point was this was a ridiculous room and he had brought it upon himself. He didn't feel like talking at all. He just wanted this to be over as soon as possible so he waited for a teacher to arrive. His guess was that it was the nurse once more.

"Patrick." Lilyan started, following the boy into the room, and heading over to a rather comfortable seat she'd magicked for herself. "You are in your 7th year, you are so close to being seen as an adult." Raising her hand, she took a bite out of her apple. "By refusing to apologize, you are not acting like an adult. You are acting like a baby. A baby pouts when they do not get their way, but an adult sucks it up, and does what they are told."

Carelessly, she flicked her wand at him, transfiguring his school robes into a little baby outfit, complete with a diaper, a cute little hat, and a binky. "Babies wear diapers." She told him, "Babies also sit in their own filth." She shrugged, and conjured a large tub before him. "Inside, past all of the abraxan dung, is a little surprise for you, which you will need to dig up, using only your hands. Only then, can we carry on to part two."

Sitting back, Lily made herself comfortable, "Oh, and don't bother trying to throw anything at me, or anything else in this room. The dung is charmed to stick only to you, and inside the tub."

Patrick could not believe it. Could absolutely not bloody believe it. This was the embarrassment of all embarrassment in the universe placed on him. If anyone EVER found this out he would seriously consider hexing himself. That was low even for him. Bloody hell. This was hell to him. Was he going to protest? No. He was not going to because there was nothing worse than this. Nothing in the whole freaking world.

He literally sat in crap and was not enjoying it. If his sister ever found out....but without a single word to her he did what he was told being responsible and respectful like that. He would not explode thanks to what he promised to someone who was moping in misery.

Patrick sat in the dung and very disgustingly dug around for whatever he was suppose to just to continue on to part 2. He looked up and gave her a dirty look every now and then but continued with his work. He finally felt whatever it was he was trying to find after almost twenty minutes. "I believe I've found whatever it was," he told her, his hand still on the object.

God he was going to have to take 100 showers before he smelled fresh again.

"Tsk." Lily tutted at him upon seeing the dirty looks, "That is exactly what got you in here in the first place, that attitude of yours. Let's smile pretty now." With a nonverbal spell, the boy was charmed, a cheesy smile sticking to his lips, that would remain until she decided to undo it. She took another bite of her apple, and nodded when he produced the quill. "Very nice." Flicking her wand at it, the quill disappeared from his hand, and placed itself on a desk.

She then waved her hand at him, "Keep going, there's more."

AHHH!!! She was seriously torturing him or something. First the costume then forcing him to smile. Was she trying to make him kill himself right here? He continued to go on after finding the quill. It was a long time before he found what he thought was the second object. Somewhere deep in his mind he guessed it was a piece of parchment but hr couldn't be so sure. "Okay I've found the second object," he told her.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

Hmmmm. Lily mused a bit, looking over the apple in her hand, and then her nails, and then she cast her eyes to the baby boy when he spoke again. "Oh?" She leaned forward to see the object and then she shook her head, "Nope. That's only your baby rattle, you must have dropped it."

She shrugged and sat back again. Maybe she should have brought a book, this was, apparently going to last quite a while.

Sighing as she said continue he went back to his torture, ready to smack himself with that damn baby rattle. Maybe he could knock himself unconscious. The only good thing about this is that he wasn't fat so that part wasn't really embarrassing. He had a little less clothes on then he would have liked though.

Continuing on for another who knows how many minutes, he found something else. "Could this possibly be the second object?" he asked, mainly to himself but for the healer lady to hear to. What if he had to go to the hospital wing someday? Would she leave him to die? Nah. He hoped.

"Ah. Parchment." Lily leaned forward again to inspect the tup, and she clapped, apple still in hand. "Another." She added, flicking her wand at the tub, and filling it with more poo, so much that it started to overflow on him.

"Have you learned anything yet?" She asked, arching an eyebrow at the boy.

He really hoped that his special 'condition' type thing was not going to be affected cause if it was....let's just say they're probably going to have to make their way back to the Hospital Wing, him unconscious.

When she asked if he learned anything he replied, "I have in fact. That your punishment is terrible and I should have stuck to writing that letter." Yeah that was pretty much what was going through his head at the minute.

Listening, Lilyan gave a bit of a sigh. That was not a good enough answer, and so, she simply flicked her hand in his direction, his obvious command to continue.

Getting slightly infuriated by her gesture, he asked, "How is that not a good enough answer?! I'm sorry for all the darn stuff I did alright? I just---hate my life," he muttered the last part, looking away from her and thinking how much he wished he could have grown up normal. Maybe if his parent's cared he wouldn't be in this damn mess. "I'll write the letter if you'd like," he offered, still not looking at her.

Lilyan gave the boy a look, and she gave him a look for about two whole minutes. "You're right, you are going to write the letter." She said, she pointed her wand at the tub, "But first, you need to find the ink."

She did not forget the things that he said, however, in fact, she magicked herself a quill and parchment and started writing herself a little note.

Patrick was thankful this was almost over. He sighed and searched around some more for the ink. It was really hard to trudge through that crap. He just wanted all of it over as soon as possible. It was really a waste of his time. "Found it," he told her, grabbing something smooth and small. By the way it felt it was definitely an ink container.

"Good." Lilyan replied, flicking her wand, the tub of poo was replaced by a desk, the parchment, quill and ink arranged neatly ontop. "Now, sit down, and write your letter." She instructed, taking another bite from her apple.

"I should tell you, that for every dishonest word you write, the parchment will wipe itself clean, and you will have to start all over again."

Patrick was relieved to sit back in a seat for once. He nodded in her direction as she said the parchment would clear if he lied. Right now he was just going to be as honest as possible. Really he did feel guilty about this. He was furious at the moment of when he stunned her and after talking with Vanessa his perspective changed and he decided that she was never going to forgive him unless he truly apologized.

The new Patrick maybe?

Ehh sort of. He thought about what he was going to write for a few minutes and then decided on something.

He finished writing the letter. No erasing was necessary. He hoped to hold a new perspective and go back to respecting authority like he told himself he would.

"Done?" She asked, noting that he had stopped writing. With a flick of her wand, Lily summoned the parchment, she read it over, rather impressed that it had not cleared, and that he had been honest the first time around.

Hopefully, he had seen the error of his ways.

She duplicated the letter, keeping one of the copies. As she stood, she folded it, and put it in her robes for safe keeping. "I want you to deliver this to Miss Trixie." She told him, walking to the desk and handing over the parchment. "You don't have to stick around if you don't want to, but you do have to deliver it straight to her. Understand?"

"Done," he said and nodded in reply, silently waiting for her to read through it and tapping his fingers on the desk while she did so. He looked around the classroom and figured this is where they could keep crazy people. He looked back at her and saw as she duplicated the letter.

He sighed but gave her a nod. There would be more apologizing besides this letter. "Yes, I'll give it to her when she's released," he said to her, taking the letter. Now the question was...was he free? "Am I finished with my detention?" he asked after a minutes silence.

Lily nodded, "I will be checking. SO, make sure you do." Retrieving his wand, she held it for a moment, before flicking her own wand at him, returning his robes, and ridding him of the baby outfit.

"Yes. You are dismissed." She handed the wand over, and gestured for him to walk out ahead of her.

"I swear I will," Patrick assured her, nodding several times. He looked down at his robes and sighed in relief and satisfaction. He was so happy this was over he could have hugged her tight even after the crap he had just went through. Now he needed to take a shower...

Brilliant. He walked ahead of her and exited the door after getting his wand back. Pat needed to head toward the Slytherin common room. "Again, I'd like to apologize for the rude behavior. I was a little delusional," he said to the Nurse. "You aren't so bad Miss Moretti," he smiled, and then gave her a wave, leaving the detention hall.