Chris nodded slowly. It was true music was to big of a part of his life to give up and he would be different with out it. But when Lena said the word love more tears just came down. This was wayyyy to much. Maybe it was because he was crying for everytime he stayed strong and he never did cry. Maybe it was because he never really did when Mel died. It was out of his mind because of Lena....As his felt her soft hand touch his cheek a chill went through his body. His eyes closed as she wiped his tears away. "Well you should hate. You should hate me forever....." He said his voice still not really his voice. It was soft and shakey.

Why? Lena whispered through eyes still swimming in tears as she gently dropped her hand from his cheek. It was my fault from the start - you shouldn't be the one being hated, she said, still whispering, but very truthful. Of course, it was also true that she couldn't help who she loved, but in a way she had been leading them both on and what kind of fair was that??

Oh nooo! Lena was now crying harder. As she let go of Chris's cheek he took her hand and sighed heavely. The tears gone from his eyes. "I couldn't hate you either." He whispered. "You can't help that you love both of us...." He trailed off at the end and looked at her. His heart breaking just looking at her. "I'm sorry Lena, I'm sooo very sorry about this." He said softly as he turned his head from her. How weird was this??? They had just broken up and now the two of them were trying to comfort each other. They were always a sort of strange couple....

Lena looked back at Chris only as he took her hand, but she looked down once more at his words; she deserved to be hated. It still wasn't fair. I should've.... I could have.... she shook her head, looking up after a moment as Chris spoke once more, but he was no longer looking at her. No.... no worries, she said with a weak smile that was more forced than any smile ever.

Maybe it wasn't fair....but she couldn't help that she loved Blake it was like he couldn't help that he still loved Melinda. Though maybe it was different because she was dead??? "You couldn't have done anything different about it...I never really guessed I thanked you for being so honest with me...." He said in a whispered and gulped. Chris did not let go of her hand yet...he felt like he need to hold Lena's hand right now. Though soon she would be gone and he would be alone. He looked back up and saw the weak forced smile of Lena's. "You don't have to act like you are happy." He told her though as he did so he gave her a small smile-not forced-but it was gone as quickly as it had came.

Helena nodded slightly at his words, but then she sighed and shook her head. But was the truth really better? I'm not so sure anymore.... True, she would've been going crazy if she was carrying the burden of loving Blake on her shoulders forever without telling Chris, but it just seemed wrong. The tension left her smile for a moment at his words before the smile disappeared altogether. Thanks, she said.

Was the truth better??? Chris sat there and thought for a moment bitting his lip. Before slowly nodding. "Yes....that truth was better." He told Helena honestly. "It would have been much worse for you to keep that from me." He added. It wouldn't have been fair to her....or really himself. "No problem. You should know you never have to act infront of me. We both feel like crap at the moment...." He whispered.

Lena knew that would be Chris's answer before she gave it; in all honesty, she knew the truth was always better, no matter what would come of it. When he said that they both felt like crap, she swallowed again and nodded. If we were supposed.... to be together, we would be, but.... I dunno. It took awhile to grow into that - sometimes it's better that way, but for us, I think we needed that spontaneity at first.... Funny how this was what Helena felt happened with she and Blake. Tears burned the back of her throat at the thought that, though she had just seen him a few weeks ago for his brothers engagement, she wouldn't be seeing him. She would be out doing the only thing she could to get over this - running away from it.

Gulp. That was true in some sense. They became friends quickly but anything more took time...a lot of time! "We never did have that spark right away like you and Blake did. I should have backed off that day...I know you liked him even if you two just met." He mumbled. He gave Helena's hand one last gentle squeeze before letting go once more. "And I know if we were going to end up together we would buuut I don't see that happening." He told Lena honestly. He now didn't know where he saw himself in a couple of years. Maybe he would still be in New York, or London but with Lena??? That fantasy was long gone and wasn't coming back....

As true as it was that she and Blake had had a spark between them, Helena shook her head slightly as Chris let her hand go. No, what I told you that day was true - I didn't like him right then and there. There was definitely something, but it took me awhile to realize it. I wasn't lying, she said firmly. She then gulped at his last words. She hadn't really imagined life without Chris. Tears burned her eyes. I'm so sorry.

Chris wasn't going to think Lena was lying now. "Alright I believe." He said softly. He did believe, he always believed every word Lena told him. That one thing he loved so much about her was she was always no matter what honest with him..."But it didn't take you that long to figure it out." He reminded her thinking back to the opening feast. "By the time we were in the castle he already had his arm around you and you didn't seem to mind it." He said looking down at the ground. To her next words he shock his head before taking her cheek into his hand as his thumb wiped away the tears. "Helena. This is not completely your fault and I don't want you thinking-ever-that it is." He told her as he searched her eyes.

More tears leaked from her eyes as Chris reminded Lena of the Opening Feast that year - and he was right. She should have just told him then and there.... but then where would he have been when disaster struck that Christmas? Thanks, I.... I know, she whispered, shaking her head slightly before seeing him search her eyes with his own.

Chris watched more tears come out of Lena's eyes at his words. He frowned but didn't move his hand...well until he pulled her into a hug. "It's alright." He whipsered to her. "We are going to be okay I promise. Besides you deserve somebody better than I am." He said truthfully. There was no way now that he could be in a relationship with anybody...When was he going to have time to be them??? Plus he wasn't even sure how much longer he would be in New York. A few more weeks or forever??? He didn't know and that wasn't a good thing...And Lena shouldn't be hanging around New York just because he was there. She needed to go out and do something better than just following him around....

Despite everything that had happened between them, that hug felt better to Lena than anything else could have at that moment. Don't say that, she whispered back without moving an inch out of his arms. She tightened her end of the hug very slightly. You're such an amazing guy - and someday you'll find someone to appreciate that enough. She swallowed. That wasn't her, since she loved Blake.

At first Chris couldn't help but feel suprised that Lena was hugging him back. That's honestly not what he thought would happen but was sure glad that this was the case. Her arms around him made him feel better. To her words his heart sank. What did she mean somebody who would appreciate that??? Sighhh. She was saying that she loved Blake...."You do promise to talk to Blake when you get back right?" Even if Blake had a girlfriend he knew that he won't mind running to comfort Lena.....He kept hugging her even after he noticed a silver chain around her neck. Grahhh! That necklace he had given her! He picked it up and looked at it carefully though not breaking the hug.

Lena's eyes, still light purple in color, widened at his words and she shook her head without moving back from him. No. Chris.... She shook her head again, her voice coming out at just a whisper still. I'm not going back. I could never go back. Then she felt him pick up something at her neck - her heart plummeted sickly again; the necklace. She pulled her arms from around him and instead slid them behind her own neck where she unhooked the silver chain and set it carefully in Chris's palm with the key itself without saying a word.

She couldn't go back?! But whyyyy? Though he couldn't come up with the question before Lena pulled out of his arms. Chris watched her take the necklace off and place it into his hand. Fresh tears came down his cheeks and he shut his eyes tight along with his hand on the key necklace. That was it Chris had to get out of here now! He stood back up his eyes open once more. "I guess I will just see you in the morning." He whispered not looking at Helena anymore.

Chris did understand that she couldn't keep it right? That would just be sooooo wrong!! Tears glazed her eyes once more as she saw the tears slide down his own cheeks. Okay, she whispered, looking away from him and at her nightstand when she realized he wasn't going to look at her.

With Lena's one word he walked out of the room shutting the door behind him. He looked at the front door tempted to just leave. But knowing if he just left Lena would and they probably wouldn't be able to say goodbye....Chris looked down at the necklace. The damn necklace in his hand and threw it on the floor not caring that Lena would find it later as he walked grabbed his guitar and went back into own bedroom shutting the door behind him. He hopped onto his bed and just started play hoping it would take the pain away.

The last few tears rolled out of Lena's eyes before she was completely dried out again. She looked around the room, feeling more lost than ever, not even hearing the soft music now coming from Chris's bedroom. She carefully tucked her last few items strewn about into her suitcase and zipped it up before just staring at it for awhile. How badly she just wanted to leave right then and there; no tearful goodbyes, no torturing herself. But Chris deserved more than that. She climbed into bed with a mental sigh and stared at the ceiling for awhile, her eyes never changing from purple.

After playing for a bit Chris found himself playing 'I'm Yours' By Jason Marz. Grahhh! He stopped once he realized this. He couldn't do that. He carefully placed his guitar leaning on the wall next to his bed before just turning onto his side. Why didn't he just let Lena leave when she wanted to??? This would have been much easier....After laying there for a few moments he kicked off his shoes and took off his shirt. Not caring his was still in his jeans and layed once more on his bed. He couldn't sleep there was no way! He once again picked up his guitar and played softly. He didn't know why he did because it didn't help the first time but music was always his way to get away from everything else.

Lena glanced over at her nightstand and saw her cell phone laying there. She picked it up and righted it in her fingers before flipping up the cover slowly and heading to her contacts. She didn't have to scroll down far to find Blake's name. Once she had pulled it up, Helena just stared at it for awhile, not knowing what to think. But she knew she couldn't call him. She just couldn't. She shut her phone with a snap and rolled over onto her side with it.

After several attempts of music trying to help Chris finally gave up and carefully leaned it back on the wall rolling over onto his side. Sighhhhh. He was wondering what Lena was doing. Probably being allllll mad at him or something. But not long after did he fall into a sleep.

With his face still smushed into his pillow Chris turned and looked at his clock. Grahhh! It was six-ish and it was to early for Chris to be up but he was. He finally got out of bed grabbed some cloths and headed into the bathroom to take a shower. After he was all washed and shaved his walked out his wet hair combed back. This felt odd with Lena being here but not really on the best speaking terms with her. He sat down on the couch and turned on th TV trying to find something to watch but not really paying attention.

Helena finally fell asleep around one in the morning, but she tossed and turned until she woke up again around five-thirty. She groaned at the time and covered her face with her pillow, but she didn't fall back asleep. About half an hour later, she heard Chris get up and take a shower. She frowned slightly; she wasn't the only restless one. Still, after she heard the TV lightly buzzing in the living room, she didn't get up. She couldn't face that yet. Instead, Lena silently got up and started making sure she had everything packed away and ready to go.

After a few moments of looking Chris just put on music videos though his mind wasn't on that. He was thinking about how he was suppose to be at the studio in a few hours. And in the same amount of time Lena would be gone....It was faint but he heard some soft movement coming from her room. Gulp. It wouldn't be long until she came out and everything would happen....He turned and looked at her room noticing the necklace still on the floor where he had thrown it the night before. Sighhhh. He didn't pick it up or anything though he just turned his head away again.