43. Headmaster

Fletcher was being an excellent participant in Defense Against the Dark Arts today. For once, he raised his hand before each answer, answered honestly and intelligently, and even spoke extra loudly and clearly.

This, of course, had nothing to do with the fact that Headmaster Tatertot was teaching the class now. Naw, Fletcher just really liked the man and wanted to ah… test his teaching abilities. He was quite enjoying the lesson and his respect for the Headmaster was growing the longer class lasted. That was, until the man addressed him as something that would forever change Fletcher’s reputation…

“GlitterPuff.”

61. Kiss

For having just admitted to never being in a committed relationship, Fletcher was a shockingly good kisser.

Or at least that’s what he told himself. He loved the passion, the shock, the suddenness of a kiss.

So when the day came that a hot, angry girl was shouting at him all up in his face, Fletcher viewed the situation as the perfect opportunity. He wasn’t about to take her verbal abuse THISCLOSELY for nothing.

“I'm much more direct at getting what I want.” And to prove his point, Fletcher smoothly silenced her with his stunning lips.

Two birds. One stone.

69. Slap

SLAP.

It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss…

Fletcher rubbed at his jaw and just stared, dumfounded, at the blonde who had just humiliated him in the middle of Diagon Alley He did NOT deserve that slap. And that is NOT how one goes about showing affection, Miss Sandra Perdieu.

"Passionate enough?!" he growled at her as his dark eyes flashed with a malicious gleam. "Don't EVER do that to me again."


Because honestly, he hadn’t even gotten to French her for that! RUDE.

7. Care of Magical Creatures

Fletcher WANTED to see his Cupcake. He WANTED to pet her. He WANTED to split a bottle of firewhiskey with HIS abraxan.

The only problem was that he had to get past the Tiger guarding the stables first. He had answered her questions as best he could, but apparently that was not enough.

“I do suggest that you read up on whether or not Cupcake, the two year-old Abraxan, is indeed supposed to drink such things. I do not tolerate doubt when it comes to creatures in my care.”

Put your claws away, TIGER LADY! I’m only trying to learn!

56. Fight

So maybe Fletcher had started it. But Raiden Kururugi intended to finish it.

Most people would have just taken the Prefect’s well-aimed punch and gotten the hell out of there. The Glitterpuff Hufflejock, however, was not most people. Instead, he tackled his attacker and fought back, hard.

It wasn’t until both boys limped away from each other, one with a bloody nose and a spit-shined shoe, and the other with a half-broken jaw and a black eye, that Fletcher realized something.

So far, that had been THE fight of his life… and he was keen to do it again sometime.

49. Yule Ball

The first and only Yule Ball Fletcher attended was a costume Yule Ball held in his honor. Dressed as a King, Fletcher led his Queen (Rae) to the Table of Champions, where he sat at the head of the table.

King Fletcher danced the night away with several gorgeous ladies, including Librarian Madame Donovan, whom he did NOT hit on. At all. The most memorable moment of the night came when Professor Lafay demanded her dance with the Champion. Poor Fletcher could not escape the Potion Mistress’s claws… and let us just say that the Glitterpuff has never danced since.

12. Charms

Fletcher would never forget everything that he had learned in Charms class, especially not since he had had such a mcdreamy, super steamy, hottie professor.

Lexi Carlton.

Siiiiiiiiigh.

Now she was a fiery thing. Fletcher’s favorite lesson he had ever had with the professor came outside of class, as a direct result of another class’ homework. When Fletcher threw up on Professor Carlton’s door, he discovered the other side of this lovely blonde.

Her angry side.

'Yow owww!' Fletcher thought as he was literally put into the doghouse - as a dog. 'Only her temper is hotter than her bod!'

One day at Hogwarts, Fletcher met a boy who looked just like him. Upon talking with the boy, Fletcher realized that he had a long-lost twin brother named Jackson Riding.

Jack was a Slytherin, the same year as Fletcher, and both boys realized that they had been adopted. Both sent letters to their parents to ask why they had never been told about their brother.

Their responses were shocking, and yet raised more questions. The most confusing thing was: If Fletcher was adopted, then what was his real name? And who were his real parents?

And so the search began.

8. Potions

Fletcher’s favorite Potions lesson ever (and one of the few he attended) was the one where he truly earned the name Glitterpuff.

During this memorable class, the Glitterpuff Hufflejock, Champion of the World, turned pink as a result of taking Professor Lafay’s Scintillation Solution. After drinking her Pepto Bismoy beverage, Fletcher managed to steal a hug off the Potions Mistress before he went skipping out of the classroom and on to dinner. For the rest of that day, Fletcher spread pinkness, happiness, and glitter wherever he went.

It was the closest he ever got (thank Merlin) to being a fairy.

21. Veela

Fletcher encountered his first Veela on a mission for Gringotts. Hacking through the Peruvian forest, they suddenly stumbled into a clearing.

Lighting up the woods was a beautiful woman. To look upon her face was to look upon the true meaning of the word gorgeous. Awestruck, Fletcher’s mouth hung open until one of his superiors kicked him in the shins and told him to wipe the drool off his chin. Fletcher shook his head to clear his thoughts and hurried out of the clearing. The veela had disappeared and taken their head cursebreaker with her.

Neither were ever seen again.

88. Sweet Tooth

Fletcher’s favorite sweets were chocolate, chocolate ice cream, and cockroach clusters. Don’t ask why.

Absolutely incapable of cooking for himself, Fletcher was left alone with less than a week’s worth of groceries when Rae went back to Hogwarts.

Fortunately, he knew of all of Rae’s chocolate hideaways. It was essential that he knew the location of all the chocolate in the house so that he could protect it from Evelyn Flores.

Unfortunately, Fletcher never found the stash under the seventh step… until Rae revealed it.

From that day forward, not a morsel of anything sweet was safe from Fletcher’s tooth.

25. Sorting Hat

His first reaction upon being sorted into the golden house of Hufflepuff was, “What the hell is a Hufflepuff?!”

It honestly sounded like the noise one made when one sneezed. And Fletcher was certainly nothing to be sneezed at. He had a reputation to uphold, for Merlin’s sake! He would have preferred to be clad in silver and green, like Sadie and Rae, or even in blue like Cosette. Fletcher quite liked the way he looked in blue. But yellow?

“Gesundheit,” he said to himself as he settled at the table of badgers. What had that sorting hat been thinking?!

91. Future

Fletcher knew, as he held his baby girl in his arms for the first time, that this was where his future was supposed to go. Mallory Skye Fletcher had just rocked his world. Forget about being The Champion of the Triwizard Tournament; the only award Fletcher wanted now was World’s Best Dad.

“I love you,” he whispered down to the sleeping baby, rocking her a little as she slept. Then he looked up at her mother and his beautiful girlfriend, Rae. “I love you too.” He pulled out a ring. “Marry me?”

What a happy little family they would be!

64. Nap

Fletcher’s favorite thing to do, other than eat, was sleep – preferably after lunch.

Today, however, there was one thing standing in the way of his nap: a fly. Every time Fletcher closed his eyes, it would start buzzing. Fletcher would open an eye and look around, flyswatter at hand. But then it would be silent and still.

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ. Fletcher finally felt it land on his nose and flipped the swatter over his own face, hard.

“OWWWWWWWWWCH!” That was stupid. Finally, he thought to use magic.

“ACCIO FLY.” He caught it, killed it, and now it was nap time.

24. House Elf

The only time Fletcher ever really encountered house elves was when he visited Hogwarts’ kitchen to sneak snacks. Then after one long day practicing spells for the Triwizard Tournament, Fletcher fell fast asleep in a common room armchair. He didn’t wake until he felt something massaging his feet.

With a start, the Glitterpuff awoke and stared at the elf at his feet. There was a fire blazing in the hearth and Fletcher had a warm blanket covering him up. “Hey… thanks!”

Caught in the act of working hard, the house elf squeaked and poofed away.

“Great inventions, those House Elves.”

27. Owl

Fletcher was not fond of birds. But if he was going to keep in touch while abroad, he was going to have to befriend an owl. He was terrified of the exotic birds in Peru, so it was choosing the lesser of two evils when he coaxed an owl to perch on his arm.

Squinting his eyes mostly shut, Fletcher quickly tied his love letter home to the owl’s leg and shooed it off. Whew. He’d escaped unscathed!

It was only as he started to walk away that Fletcher noticed the owl droppings all over his work boots. DAMN BIRDS.

65. Ooze

Fletcher was STARVING. He shuffled into the kitchen, his stomach grumbling as he opened the fridge.

Empty. It was bare except for three containers. He popped open the lid of the first and took a sniff: spicy mustard. Ahh.

A whiff of the second revealed tartar sauce. Yuck. He reached for the third bottle and got a handful of sticky red stuff. Dang, it was oozing! Fletcher licked off his hand and made a face.

“HOT SAUCE!” AHHHHHHH! He ran to the sink and stuck his face under it, cooling his burning tongue. “That’s it; I’m going out for dinner!”

1. Herbology

Fletcher… couldn’t actually remember ever attending a Herbology lesson. He wasn’t even sure who the Herbology professor was at this school. Did they really even have Herbology classes at Hogwarts? Did they?

One thing he did know, though, was that he was rubbish at the subject. Thus he was rather clueless when, during one of the Triwizard Tournament tasks, he was faced with a screaming mandrake in a box.

At least the boy recognized the plant. What to do with it (or what to do TO it), though, he had no idea.

Any chance he could phone a friend, maybe?