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05-15-2010, 04:38 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| Erkling
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: lost in the mountain
Posts: 20,571
Hogwarts RPG Name: Periwinkle Evie Paeng Slytherin Fifth Year | Time to Say Goodbye - Sa13+ Bre Bear | Asherine | Whisper | Kemmy | Raeney | Madyra | Bumble Bee Disclaimer:The Harry Potter world belongs to J.K Rowling not me. Time to Say Goodbye
MuggleVampire
Chapter One:
Boom! I sat straight up in my bed. What was that? I leaned towards the right to turn on my lamp. The light flooded the room revealing my orange walls and the dark wood floor. I walked over to my window in front of my big bed. Wait? I left my window open? No. It’s too cold out to keep it open. I thought harder. Jake! He must’ve snuck up to my house. Well he normally does stuff like that when he’s going to send me an owl. Now I can’t get to sleep. Just then a grey owl swooped through the window. He plopped down on my white wooden desk. I walked over to the desk a couple feet away from the window and pulled the chair out and sat down. I read the letter aloud to myself:
Dear Autumn, August 29, 2009
I’m sorry to write so late but I saw your light on and
Your window open. My mum needs to know by tomorrow morning if
You want to go to Diagon Alley with my mother, Jared and I? Please write back as soon as possible.
Love,
Jake
I folded up the the piece of paper and took out a fresh piece of paper. I took out a pencil and started to write back to Jake.
Dear Jake, August 29, 2009
I would be happy to go with you and your family to get my supplies. Just come to my house and pick me up.
Love,
Autumn
I folded up the paper and tied it to the owl. The owl flew swiftly out the window to a house about five hundred yards away. I shut the window and walked back to my bed yawning. I turned the lamp off. I threw the covers over my head and fell quickly asleep. The next time I woke up was to loud footsteps walking up to the third floor towards my room. I heard the door creek loudly. The covers were still over my head. I heard a pair of high heels make the click clack noise on the hard wood. The footsteps stopped at the front of my bed. “Autumn Malloy!” the evil voice yelled. Yep that was my mother. Her name is Pearl. She is the most evil person in the history of Slytherin’s and she was sorted into Ravenclaw. Now that’s a shocker. “Get your butt out of bed now.” She snapped. After that she walked out of my room angrily and slammed the door. I sighed.
__________________ maybe that plane wouldn't ever take off maybe that dust wouldn't fly off the drive maybe that tumbleweed and me wouldn't leave every other sunrise |
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05-18-2010, 03:36 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| Snidget
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Glasgow, Scotland :)
Posts: 2,770
| Wish I Was In Florida! | The Avengers | Music | HP Boxset - my life since Xmas! | Luna Lovegood
I liked your writing style but the story line seems strange. I take it eveybody is brand new characters and Autumn is Draco's daughter???
I am Katie, I am 14 and I live in Scotland.
What's your name? (i always introduce myself when I read a new story! )
__________________ You're just a daydream away,I wouldn't know what to say if I had you. And I'll keep you a daydream away, Just watch from a safe place, So I never have to lose. |
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05-18-2010, 03:36 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| Snidget
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Glasgow, Scotland :)
Posts: 2,770
| Wish I Was In Florida! | The Avengers | Music | HP Boxset - my life since Xmas! | Luna Lovegood
Never mind, it doesn't say MALFOY it says MALLOY!!!!!!
Ignore me!!!
__________________ You're just a daydream away,I wouldn't know what to say if I had you. And I'll keep you a daydream away, Just watch from a safe place, So I never have to lose. |
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05-18-2010, 04:09 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| Erkling
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: lost in the mountain
Posts: 20,571
Hogwarts RPG Name: Periwinkle Evie Paeng Slytherin Fifth Year | Bre Bear | Asherine | Whisper | Kemmy | Raeney | Madyra | Bumble Bee Quote:
Originally Posted by KatielovesHP Never mind, it doesn't say MALFOY it says MALLOY!!!!!!
Ignore me!!! Quote:
Originally Posted by KatielovesHP I liked your writing style but the story line seems strange. I take it eveybody is brand new characters and Autumn is Draco's daughter???
I am Katie, I am 14 and I live in Scotland.
What's your name? (i always introduce myself when I read a new story! ) My name is Bre. I'm 15 years old. I live America. Thanks for the comment.
__________________ maybe that plane wouldn't ever take off maybe that dust wouldn't fly off the drive maybe that tumbleweed and me wouldn't leave every other sunrise |
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05-19-2010, 01:43 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| Snidget
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: New England
Posts: 2,704
Hogwarts RPG Name: Kaylee Strap First Year | Dragon..Dragon..Draco.. | | Sirius Lee Black Oooooooh! I love Autumn/Jake stories! Uh oh, the name kinda scares me! Anyways, love the chapter! And the banner! |
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05-21-2010, 02:55 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| Erkling
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: lost in the mountain
Posts: 20,571
Hogwarts RPG Name: Periwinkle Evie Paeng Slytherin Fifth Year | Bre Bear | Asherine | Whisper | Kemmy | Raeney | Madyra | Bumble Bee Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassiopia Malfoy Oooooooh! I love Autumn/Jake stories! Uh oh, the name kinda scares me! Anyways, love the chapter! And the banner! I'm glad you like the Autumn && Jake stories. Why does the name scare you?
__________________ maybe that plane wouldn't ever take off maybe that dust wouldn't fly off the drive maybe that tumbleweed and me wouldn't leave every other sunrise |
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05-21-2010, 03:29 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| Snidget
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: New England
Posts: 2,704
Hogwarts RPG Name: Kaylee Strap First Year | Dragon..Dragon..Draco.. | | Sirius Lee Black
Time to say goodbye=They might say goodbye to each other then never see each other again! I have such a weird mind.
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05-21-2010, 08:38 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| Graphorn
Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: University.
Posts: 17,325
Hogwarts RPG Name: Enya Mayberry Fourth Year | Workaholic || HOGwart | iloveyou. || SnowQueenEviee.
Nice chapter
I likey...Hmmm, this sounds interesting. Im Evangeline, 16, England
Cant wait for more
__________________ ♥♥♥♥♥__________Chapter 17 of "A Broken Wing" Is up now!___________♥ ___________________Look Who's Back.
Beware. |
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05-22-2010, 12:07 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| Doxy
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Sweetwater
Posts: 6,031
Hogwarts RPG Name: Arielle (Ari) Wedgwood First Year Diagon Alley Proprietor:
Morgan Kruz Daily Prophet Photojournalist | A ship in harbor is safe — but that is not what ships are built for.
nice story! i cant wait for more!
I'm Amy, 11, USA
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05-22-2010, 12:50 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| Snidget
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: New England
Posts: 2,704
Hogwarts RPG Name: Kaylee Strap First Year | Dragon..Dragon..Draco.. | | Sirius Lee Black
Oh yea.
Gabriella, 12, New England
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05-22-2010, 05:56 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| Erkling
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: lost in the mountain
Posts: 20,571
Hogwarts RPG Name: Periwinkle Evie Paeng Slytherin Fifth Year | Bre Bear | Asherine | Whisper | Kemmy | Raeney | Madyra | Bumble Bee Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassiopia Malfoy Time to say goodbye=They might say goodbye to each other then never see each other again! I have such a weird mind. Maybe they will maybe they won't I haven't thought it all out to much yet. Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Evi3e <3 Nice chapter
I likey...Hmmm, this sounds interesting. Im Evangeline, 16, England
Cant wait for more I'm glad you liked the first chapter. I'm goning to make this my first FF I will ever finnish. ***crosses fingers*** Nice to meet you Evangeline. I'm Bre and I'm going to be 16 this year I can't wait. Quote:
Originally Posted by dragon_star nice story! i cant wait for more!
I'm Amy, 11, USA Nice to meet you Amy! I hope you keep reading it. I'm Bre by the way. I from the US too. Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassiopia Malfoy Oh yea.
Gabriella, 12, New England Nice to meet you Gabriella.
__________________ maybe that plane wouldn't ever take off maybe that dust wouldn't fly off the drive maybe that tumbleweed and me wouldn't leave every other sunrise |
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05-22-2010, 06:47 PM
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#12 (permalink)
| Graphorn
Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: University.
Posts: 17,325
Hogwarts RPG Name: Enya Mayberry Fourth Year | Workaholic || HOGwart | iloveyou. || SnowQueenEviee. Quote:
Originally Posted by MuggleVampire I'm glad you liked the first chapter. I'm goning to make this my first FF I will ever finnish. ***crosses fingers*** Nice to meet you Evangeline. I'm Bre and I'm going to be 16 this year I can't wait. Well lets hope! *crosses fingers* Finishing FanFics is a great feeling. Ove finished 2, and have 2 unfinished ones. Nice to meet you too
Haiii Bre, nice name, and cool Im 17 next year.
__________________ ♥♥♥♥♥__________Chapter 17 of "A Broken Wing" Is up now!___________♥ ___________________Look Who's Back.
Beware. |
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05-23-2010, 06:03 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| Snidget
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Glasgow, Scotland :)
Posts: 2,770
| Wish I Was In Florida! | The Avengers | Music | HP Boxset - my life since Xmas! | Luna Lovegood
PAMS PAMS!!!!!
I need something fabulous to read and I immediately thought of this FF!!
Katie
xx
__________________ You're just a daydream away,I wouldn't know what to say if I had you. And I'll keep you a daydream away, Just watch from a safe place, So I never have to lose.
Last edited by KatielovesHP; 05-23-2010 at 08:17 PM.
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05-23-2010, 07:58 PM
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#14 (permalink)
| Doxy
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Sweetwater
Posts: 6,031
Hogwarts RPG Name: Arielle (Ari) Wedgwood First Year Diagon Alley Proprietor:
Morgan Kruz Daily Prophet Photojournalist | A ship in harbor is safe — but that is not what ships are built for.
yes i know u Bre from your shop! US is awesome right! what state?!?!?!?! when's the next chappie?!?!?!?!
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05-24-2010, 05:25 PM
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#15 (permalink)
| Erkling
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: lost in the mountain
Posts: 20,571
Hogwarts RPG Name: Periwinkle Evie Paeng Slytherin Fifth Year | Chapter Two: Diagon Alley Bre Bear | Asherine | Whisper | Kemmy | Raeney | Madyra | Bumble Bee Disclaimer:The Harry Potter world belongs to J.K Rowling not me. Time to Say Goodbye
MuggleVampire
Chapter Two:
I rushed out of my bed and walked to the right and opened my closet door. I looked on the shelves to see what I should wear. I went up about five rows and found a strapless sundress. I haven’t worn it yet. It was gray at the top then it faded into white the into orange at the bottom. I looked for a cute pair of shoes. I looked around some more until I found my cute strapie heels. They are white and they look cute with this sundress. I heard the doorbell ring so I walked down the stairs to the main level of the house. “Hello, Mrs.Malloy.” I heard Jake’s voice say. “What the hell are you doing here?” My mother asked. “To pick up Autumn. You know so she can go to Diagon Alley with my family.” He said as his voice shook. Jake has never liked my mother. He’s always so brave and never afraid of anything unless you get him near my mother. “AUTUMN GET YOUR UNGREATFUL BUTT DOWN HERE NOW.” she yelled. I hurried down the staircase. I walked out of the house with Jake behind me. “Sorry ‘bout that.” I frowned. “It’s okay.” He said. We walked along the stone lined on of paths that lead to Jake’s house. “Why does she treat you like that?” Jake asked. I shrugged my shoulders and frowned. I cleared my throat. “Well my theory is because I’m a mistake to her. I don’t even know how I’m a mistake.” I said still frowning. Jake shook his head. He stopped in his tracks. I stopped. “I don’t see how you could be a mistake.” He said looking down at me with his sparkly blue eyes. I didn’t really know how to answer it. It’s been so awkward for Jake and I this summer so we have to be careful of what we say to each other. Sometimes Jake and I can’t find anything to talk about anymore. We don’t know if we should be together or not. If we break up then we could really truly ruin our friendship but if we keep acting the way we’ve been acting then we could ruin our friendship that why. I was to busy think that I forgot that we started walking again. I saw Jake’s house well it’s not a house it a mansion like my house it’s not a house it a mansion. I love the Duke’s family Manor because it’s a Greek style home. We walked in the side doors that lead to the kitchen. The kitchen was a pale orange room with muggle kitchen stuff. The Duke’s love muggles and their technology. I saw a blonde haired woman sitting on the table looking at her laptop. She was typing something but I couldn’t see what. The woman turned around. In her chair putting one of her hands on the back of her chair. She had a soft smile upon her beautiful tan face. “Autumn,” she said getting up from her chair. She hugged me. “It’s nice to see you I thought you’d never come over and visit.” She smiled. I hugged her back. “It’s nice to see you to Mrs.Duke.” I smiled. “When are we going to Diagon Alley?” I asked. “Right now.” She said shutting her laptop. Mrs.Duke gracefully walked over to the den and to the fireplace. “Get in Autumn.” She said. She had a glass bowl in her hand with floo powder in it. I took the floo powder in my hand and said “Diagon Alley.” Mere seconds later I was in Diagon Alley. I got up and brushed the dirt off of my dress and looked around. I saw I was near Madame Malkin’s robe shop. I looked at the windows in the shop. All of a sudden someone poked my sides. I jumped. I turned around “Jake.” I said catching my breath. He just laughed and put his arms around my waist. I wasn’t going to put my arms around his neck but I did anyway.
__________________ maybe that plane wouldn't ever take off maybe that dust wouldn't fly off the drive maybe that tumbleweed and me wouldn't leave every other sunrise |
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05-24-2010, 05:54 PM
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#16 (permalink)
| Snidget
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: New England
Posts: 2,704
Hogwarts RPG Name: Kaylee Strap First Year | Dragon..Dragon..Draco.. | | Sirius Lee Black
Aw, that's really sweet! I hope things works out for them *crosses her fingers* Mrs Malloy annoys me to death! And Mrs Duke is such a sweetie! Like my mum hehe, loved the new update! Pams when you can.
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05-24-2010, 06:11 PM
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#17 (permalink)
| Graphorn
Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: University.
Posts: 17,325
Hogwarts RPG Name: Enya Mayberry Fourth Year | Workaholic || HOGwart | iloveyou. || SnowQueenEviee.
Aw That was sweet!
Although her mother sounds horrid! -nodss-
Cant wait for more.
__________________ ♥♥♥♥♥__________Chapter 17 of "A Broken Wing" Is up now!___________♥ ___________________Look Who's Back.
Beware. |
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05-24-2010, 07:24 PM
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#18 (permalink)
| Erkling
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: lost in the mountain
Posts: 20,571
Hogwarts RPG Name: Periwinkle Evie Paeng Slytherin Fifth Year | Bre Bear | Asherine | Whisper | Kemmy | Raeney | Madyra | Bumble Bee Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Evi3e <3 Aw That was sweet!
Although her mother sounds horrid! -nodss-
Cant wait for more. Hehe thanks. Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassiopia Malfoy Aw, that's really sweet! I hope things works out for them *crosses her fingers* Mrs Malloy annoys me to death! And Mrs Duke is such a sweetie! Like my mum hehe, loved the new update! Pams when you can. Aww thanks for the great comment.
__________________ maybe that plane wouldn't ever take off maybe that dust wouldn't fly off the drive maybe that tumbleweed and me wouldn't leave every other sunrise |
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05-24-2010, 08:53 PM
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#19 (permalink)
| Snidget
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Glasgow, Scotland :)
Posts: 2,770
| Wish I Was In Florida! | The Avengers | Music | HP Boxset - my life since Xmas! | Luna Lovegood
I agree with the others, Mrs Malloy is a horror.
Atleast Jake makes her happy, he makes me happy too!!
He is really nice.
One question: Cassiopia Malfoy (Gabby) said that she loves Autumn/Jake stories, is there more of them? Who are these characters?
__________________ You're just a daydream away,I wouldn't know what to say if I had you. And I'll keep you a daydream away, Just watch from a safe place, So I never have to lose. |
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05-24-2010, 09:41 PM
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#20 (permalink)
| Erkling
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: lost in the mountain
Posts: 20,571
Hogwarts RPG Name: Periwinkle Evie Paeng Slytherin Fifth Year | Bre Bear | Asherine | Whisper | Kemmy | Raeney | Madyra | Bumble Bee Quote:
Originally Posted by KatielovesHP I agree with the others, Mrs Malloy is a horror.
Atleast Jake makes her happy, he makes me happy too!!
He is really nice.
One question: Cassiopia Malfoy (Gabby) said that she loves Autumn/Jake stories, is there more of them? Who are these characters? I love Jake he's based off of my best friend Robby that I haven't seen in 5 years. Jake is in honor of Robby.
Yes there are other stories that I've never finnished and I just might delete them because I have this one up and I want to finnish this one before I start any new FF's. I also have RP's with Autumn and Jake. I might make a new RP with Autumn and Jake again when i'm done with the other one I'm doing ight now. Thanks for the lovely comment.
__________________ maybe that plane wouldn't ever take off maybe that dust wouldn't fly off the drive maybe that tumbleweed and me wouldn't leave every other sunrise |
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05-25-2010, 07:01 PM
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#21 (permalink)
| Graphorn
Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: University.
Posts: 17,325
Hogwarts RPG Name: Enya Mayberry Fourth Year | Workaholic || HOGwart | iloveyou. || SnowQueenEviee.
Your welcome
__________________ ♥♥♥♥♥__________Chapter 17 of "A Broken Wing" Is up now!___________♥ ___________________Look Who's Back.
Beware. |
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05-27-2010, 05:23 AM
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#22 (permalink)
| Firecrab
Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Canada (GMT -5)
Posts: 808
Hogwarts RPG Name: Orchid Danelli Simmons Fifth Year |
*NEW READER*
I like it so far it's really good
__________________ |
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05-27-2010, 07:29 PM
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#23 (permalink)
| Erkling
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: lost in the mountain
Posts: 20,571
Hogwarts RPG Name: Periwinkle Evie Paeng Slytherin Fifth Year | Bre Bear | Asherine | Whisper | Kemmy | Raeney | Madyra | Bumble Bee Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahLestrange *NEW READER*
I like it so far it's really good Yay! New Reader.
I'll be posting chapter 3 tomorrow morning
because I don't have school.
*Waits for more new readers.*
__________________ maybe that plane wouldn't ever take off maybe that dust wouldn't fly off the drive maybe that tumbleweed and me wouldn't leave every other sunrise |
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05-27-2010, 07:33 PM
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#24 (permalink)
| Firecrab
Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Canada (GMT -5)
Posts: 808
Hogwarts RPG Name: Orchid Danelli Simmons Fifth Year |
Awesome can't wait! XD
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05-28-2010, 02:26 PM
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#25 (permalink)
| Erkling
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: lost in the mountain
Posts: 20,571
Hogwarts RPG Name: Periwinkle Evie Paeng Slytherin Fifth Year | Bre Bear | Asherine | Whisper | Kemmy | Raeney | Madyra | Bumble Bee Disclaimer:The Harry Potter world belongs to J.K Rowling not me. Time to Say Goodbye
MuggleVampire
Chapter Three: It felt like days, months and years before I broke apart from Jake. I only let go of him because his little brother Jared showed up behind Jake. “Jared!” Jake yelled after his brother. Jared turned around and walked back towards us. He cleared his throat. “Aww did I ruin the moment that you were having with Autumn, Jake?” Jared asked childishly. Jake did speak. “I thought you did like her in that way.” Jared said. “I guess I was wrong. She’s your best freakin’ friend your not suppose to be in love with her.” Jared said. Jake stepped forward a few steps in front of me to get closer to Jared. “I’m not in love with Autumn.” Jake said. My heart sank. I never thought I would hear those words from Jake’s month. Last year he said he was in love with me but he wasn’t sure about us dating. I felt tears start to well up in my eyes. I wasn’t going to cry no matter what happened I wasn’t going to cry. I never cry but this time I guess was different. I stormed away from them both. I don’t think I wanted to see any of them. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to any of them. Before I knew it I was in the Leaky Cauldron. The place was crowded with tons of witches and wizards with there children. I walk out the front entrance of the building. I looked around and I remembered I was in London. Not many muggles were out. Well it wasn’t late and it wasn’t early. I shrugged my shoulders oh well I didn’t really care right now. Where should I go to think this all over maybe Kings Cross I can always think there. “Autumn!” I heard a familiar voice yell at me. I kept walking but Jake had ran up and had already caught me. He put his arm on my wrist. “What.” I growled. I glared at him with my ice blue eyes. “Calm down Fall. I don’t think the muggles want to see you turned into a huge wolf.” He said. So what if they did I don’t care. I don’t talk to many muggles anyway. “Who cares anymore about what I am and what you are.” I snapped. “Fall what’s wrong with you right now?” He asked. “Like you don’t know.” I said frowning. “Oh.” He said. “Fall I never meant it to come out that way. I swear.” He said frowning. He looked down at his feet. “It just that my brother has a crush on you.” He said. I nodded. “I know that he has for years now.” I stated. I brushed back my bright curly red hair. “Autumn.” He said. “I do love you but I don’t think it’s wise that you and I start dating.” He said.
__________________ maybe that plane wouldn't ever take off maybe that dust wouldn't fly off the drive maybe that tumbleweed and me wouldn't leave every other sunrise |
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