Hmm - i just finished reading. Let's see - While Lily is pregnant, you write her totally out of character. She would never have slapped Sirius - That's not Lily. You're not writing people in character. They don't behave the way J.K.R's characters would. They talk too openly - JkR's characters wouldn't. Seriously. I like the plot, though. It's very great. And full of thrills and chills. Awesome. XD PAMS!

Maxie

Oh whoops! I messed up Draco's b-day. I'm gonna fix it in a minute. Ash, we really got to ween you off of getting attached to Harry Potter characters !

Thanks! I'm not sure if I'll post tonight...... it's kind of late.

Who are you? And what have you done with my brother????

Nate, be nice!

You are so hilarious! Thanks a bunch Kaity!

I'm glad you liked it! Actually, Remus is 20 and Tonks is 9...... so there's an 11 year age difference. I'm going to be mean and not post tonight. I will, however, post tomorrow....... I promise.

First, I want to welcome you to my fic. And thanks for your comments. I'm not trying to be defensive here....... I'm just explaining. In my experience, when women are pregnant, then tend to act a little crazy; so I made Lily a little crazy too. And J.K. Rowling hasn't written too much about Lily, so we don't exactly know how she acts all the time. What do you mean by talk to openly?

Thanks again for your comments; they'll help make my fic better. I hope you keep reading.

lmao! the marauders r soo funi!!
great post!
PAMS!

This Is A Great Story!!

*madtackleglomps* Thanks!

Quote:

And thanks for your comments.

Quote:

I'm not trying to be defensive here....... I'm just explaining.

*nod-nod* *huggles*

Quote:

In my experience, when women are pregnant, then tend to act a little crazy; so I made Lily a little crazy too. And J.K. Rowling hasn't written too much about Lily, so we don't exactly know how she acts all the time.

Let's see:

+ The Lily I know would never have slapped Sirisu because she is too composed, even if she was pregnant.
+ The Lily I know would never tell James she hated him, just because she was pregnant.
+ The Lily I knwo wouldn't be mad at James for getting him Pregnant again because she would know it's partly her fault too, because she could have avoided this had she wanted to.
+ The Snape I know would never punch Peter in the face, like the way SNape did in the not-so-beginning of this story. [It was pretty funny, though. LMBO]
+ The Bellatrix I know would never have been pregnant out of wedlock.

Quote:

What do you mean by talk to openly?

I woudl expect the Marauders to be a little more mature in times liek these - And not talk of Pregnancy and such stuff all the time - It's natural, of course, everything that is happening, but everyone seems to talk T-O-O frankly, if you get my gist.

Quote:

Thanks again for your comments; they'll help make my fic better. I hope you keep reading.

Of course I will - Because I have a thing for the plot. Regulus is such a little - And I love where this is going, you know. Despite everything, I'm hooked, believe me. I didn't mean to discourage you, I just wanted to point out several things that seemed to strike me as, well, odd. And if I didn't like this, I would never have commented either.

*luffs* PAMS! PAMS! PAMS! *smocohieclingslikewoah*

EDIT: *heartsyourfic*

Maxie

Hi all,
Four those of you who don't already know me, I'm Kaite's twin brother. I'm here to applogize for there being no new post. We had a hectic day; Katie is in the hospital. You see, she is deathly allergic to peanuts; so allergic that if she eats 1 she will die in a matter of minutes. We were at a 12 year olds birthday party, and Katie grabbed a handful of what she thought was m&ms. After swallowing the hanful, she realized they were recies pieces. And she was rushed to the hospital. She is going to be ok, but she is unconsience at the moment. Hopefully, she will be better soon; she will be back in the next couple of days.

Nathan

OMG!!! u serious???
i hope she is ok!!!!!!
thats unbelievable!
hope she gets better soon!
we wil al wait til she gets back!!!

^I agree, I also hope that she gets better soon

Hi Everyone; I'm Kaitlyn, Katie's cousin, if you didn't already know that. She's going to be fine, but because of the amount of peanut butter she ate; she had to be put under anesthesia (which means she's asleep) while the epinephrine (the medicine that heals her of the reaction) took effect. She'll be comming home tomorrow, and will post once she gets a chance.

OMG, seriously????? OMG OMG OMG when she wakes, be sure to tell her that I love her, please??

Tell her that this is a great story and that she needs to get better because I cannot survive without it! Get better soon!!!!!!!!!!

Do any of you have peanut allergies? If you don't...... let me tell you........ that it completely sucks! You have to be so careful with everything you eat; otherwise, you end up in the hospital.

Thanks!

Welcome to my fanfic! I'm glad you like it.

Thanks a bunch for the sugesstions. I'm gonna go back through the story and edit it a bit.

I'm ok! It's so nice to be home...... hosptials are yucky........ well, at least they are when you are a patient !

Thanks for your well- wishes; I'm all better now....... and I'm posting the next chapter!

I'm awake! And I love you too!

Wow! Thanks! And is my story really that good?


Here is the next post. It's kind of short....... and I don't think that it's spectacular. What do you think?


Chapter 22: Complications


“Oh shut up, Padfoot!” Remus replied, blushing.

“Oh, but Moony!” James laughed, “We can’t help it! You are so gorgeous!”

Coming to Remus’s aide, Camey kissed him. When they broke apart, after several long minutes, she said, “Yep, James, he is.”

Sirius, very suddenly becomming serious (pardon the pun), turned to Andi. “Have you heard anything about Lily?”

“Not yet, but I’ll go find out for you. Would you mind watching Tonks?” Andi asked.

“Sure,” Remus replied, “We’ll watch her.”

“Thanks,” Andi said smiling. She began to walk away, but suddenly turned around, smirking. “You know Remus, Tonks is right, you really are quite handsome.”

Remus just laughed. “Andi, aren’t you married?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are dazzling.”

Violet smirked, “Andi, it sounds like you are channeling Sirius!”

“Oh my god! I do!” Andi replied. “I’m going to go jump off a bridge now.”

“Hey! Why are you insulting me?” Sirius asked.

“Because it’s fun!” Andi laughed, as she continued to bounce down the hall.


**********************************

Tonks was amusing Hallie and Harry, by changing the color of her hair; when Andi came back into the waiting room, looking very solemn.

“James,” she almost whispered. Immediately the adults rushed to her side.

“What’s the matter?” James asked.

“Lily is going to be ok; she suffered a blow to the head, but luckily she only has a mild concussion.”

“Wait, what about the baby?” Camey asked, worriedly.

“Well......there are....... some.......... problems,” Andi explained. “The umbilical chord is wrapped around the baby’s throat. We are going to have to do a c-section; but there are two main problems.”

They all looked as if someone had died.

“It’s not quite that bad, you guys,” Andi said. “One issue we have is that Lily is asleep; and we don’t dare wake her up because that would basically permantly damage her brain. However, the longer she stays asleep, the chord will slowly choke the baby.”

Andi paused. “Well, what’s the second problem?” James asked.

“Lily is only six months along; which means that the baby will be pre-mature. And that might cause some complications.”

James sank into a chair and buried his hands into his face.

Whispering, Violet asked, “Is it possible that Lily could lose the baby?”

“It’s about a fifty-fifty chance,” Andi said quietly. More loudly, she said, “James, we’re going to do everything we can, ok?”

James didn’t respond, and Andi slowly left the waiting room. Not knowing what to do, or say, everyone remained silent.

the beginning was hilarious!! I loved how everyone was saying how gorgous Remus was, but the rest of the post made me sad. Also, is being born premature a bad thing?

Awww!!! I think I'm going to cry... *sniff* Gosh... Remus ish dazzling but that doesn't make me fell any happier... Poor James... Why does egverybody... Make James feel bad or make him cry or something along those lines... Poor James *pets* Remus ish Mine!!!!! PAMS!! And Nate ish Katie's twin brother? No!! I so toterly did not know that!!

omg! poor james!!
i myt cry!
th 1st part was funny! but then it made me sad 2!!
great post though!
glad ur back n ok!!
PAMS!

I'm glad you liked it! And yes, being premature is a bad thing; when a baby is premature the heart and lungs haven't had time to fully develope.

Well...... actually I dunno why I make everything so bad for James. *Thinks* I'm gonna make James's life a bit happier from now on.

Wow, I didn't mean to make anyone cry! Thanks for the compliments....... no suggestions? Not that I'm complaining.......... I might post more tonight, depending on how nice I feel.

Yes Your Story Really Is That Good! I Can't Survive Without It! Awesome Post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pams!!!

Yay! You're okay! Good, good, I was getting frantic.

Awww, poor James and Lily. I can't believe she might lose the baby. PAMS!!
Amie

Hey Katie, you asked me to check out this fic awhile ago and here I am (I finally finished reading it all)

I hope you're ok after your peanut allergy; there was a very publicized story where I live about a girl who died because her boyfriend kissed her two hours after eating a peanut butter sandwhich.

Anyways, on to your story! The storyline and plot is very intriguing, and makes up for minor details, such as Maxie mentioned. The whole Lily going crazy thing while pregnant was while irritated me the most; just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you're crazy, just like how it's annoying when guys assume it's your period when you're angry at them. I've known many composed, pregnant women. In fact, I've yet to see one go crazy and slap her friends like Lily did. I don't know, I guess I'd expect the characters to act more their age, you know what I mean? Though I do understand- authors of stories tend to make their characters act their age, which does account for most of it.

I do really like the story though; despite these little things, it is very intriguing, and I wish I didn't have to wait for posts now! It was so nice to just read huge blocks of the story at a time.

And you asked me this awhile back, but I forgot to tell you- I deleted Dirty Little Secrets Revealed because it just seemed too strange to be writing it without any of the original readers on SS anymore. I'm nostalgic.

Anyways, I hope you're feeling better and up to posting soon. (Wasn't that a super long comment?!)

~gisele

Wow! Thanks, I'll post later today.


I'm sorry we worried you; Nate made it sound like I was dying *punches Nate and yells, "Why would you do that?"* I'll post in a couple hours.

I think I heard about that....... wasn't it in Boston? I live about two hours away from there. Anyway, yes, I'm fine......... I just need to be more careful.

Well, I'm glad you like it. I'm not trying to be defensive here........ I'm just saying........ the pregnant women I've lived with (six of my Aunts) have had major mood swings........ which made them a little crazy. But, that might be just my family.

Again not trying to be defensive........ but they are only 19/ 20. Not to offend anyone whose that age......... but the people I know who are 19 are....... well....... like James was when he was 15. Again, maybe that's just the people I know........ I'm sure not all 19 year old are that immature.

Anyway, when I get the chance, I'm going to go back and edit some of my story to make it more realistic.

I know, I hate waiting for posts too. That's why I try to post everyday.

Oh, that's too bad. I really liked it so far.........but that's ok. Your other fics are awesome too.

I think that was the longest comment I've ever gotten ! Oh yes, I'm deffinately up to posting......... just give me a while to type it up !

OMG, that's horrible! What about if the premature babies were surgically removed, as in surgically taking the baby out of it's mother because the mother had an accident?

That's what a c-section is. When that happens, the baby is usually put into a saftey chamber, and is hooked up to several different machines. Lily is only 6 months along, and usually babies of that age, only have a 40- 60% chance of survival.

And you know this how? *sets up tent* *builds fire* *stares at Katie until she says something* *starts roasting marshmallows while waiting*

PS. I forgot to say this ish my new home until you Post more Story!!

Sorry, I was editing my other posts.

Ash- I know this because there are about 18 nurses/doctor in my family. This is your new home? *points to a room and says, "That can be your room!"*

Maxie and Gisele- I edited pretty much every single post. You probably wouldn't want to read the entire story again........ but if you wouldn't mind........... I could use some specific sugesstions (ex: in Post 28 Lily was really out of character).

MS Paint my dear Nate. Paint. Hehe. Wow... Thats a lot. You said you would post today... *whines* Wait, the day isn't over yet!! *dances* Er... I used paint. Just put the dolls togethe like that... And I get my own room!!! *glomp* Thank you!! I feel special... *wlkas into room* *paints it black* *puts Potter Puffs on wall* *Smiles and waves* *roasts more marshmallows*