SUMMARY: Macaroni has more than one use…

This ficlet was prompted by a dare from evlpez, a mod on Diagon Alley and an Admin on Project Ferret (A collaborative writing forum).

I had to include the following:
-Seamus Finnigan falls in love (with a Gryff girl of my choice)
-Neville decides to take up bullying
-Make use of the following: Kraft Dinner, arts & crafts, spacecraft

Here goes nothing...


WARNING: THIS IS VERY POINTLESS, VERY PLOTLESS, and ONLY ONE POST LONG.
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"Seamus, if you like her, then for Merlin's sake, go and tell her so!" exclaimed Harry Potter, thoroughly annoyed by Seamus Finnigan's constant, glazed-over stare in Parvati Patil's direction.

"I second that," agreed Ron Weasley through mouthfuls of his Kraft macaroni and cheese. "You've been bloody gazing at the girl for ages."

The boys were sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall at dinner, and it was becoming apparent that Seamus was infatuated with Parvati.

"Seamus," prodded Dean Thomas, "Just go up to her and ask her out before Ron, Harry and I do it for you."

"It's just not that easy," mumbled Seamus, staring down at his untouched food. A pinkish blush was forming on his pale cheeks.

"'Course it is," Ron said confidently, now gnawing on a chicken wing. "Just walk up to her and say 'Ho, there, Patil, let's date.' Easy as one two three. Everybody wins."

Seamus looked shocked, and Harry chuckled. "Well, maybe you shouldn't be that blunt about it, but you've got to let her know, mate. Else you'll be in this sorry state forever."

They were distracted from their conversation when Hermione and Ginny arrived at the table, breathless.

"Where were you two?" asked Dean bemusedly. "Dinner started twenty minutes ago."

"Art class," said Hermione, holding up her hands, which were coated in blue paint. "One thing I'm not very coordinated at, unfortunately."

"Yeah," said Ginny, shaking her head. "She spilled the paint all over both of us when we were making still lifes, and - "

"Still lifes?" interrupted Ron, burping loudly.

"Paintings of still objects. The pictures don't even move!" explained Ginny, waving her hand impatiently. She settled herself down next to Ron. "Anyway...what have we got to eat tonight?"

"Macaroni and cheese," said Ron, holding out his almost-gone plate and grinning.

"Ugh..." said Hermione. "Talk about unhealthy!"

"Well, ever since you started the House Elf Rebellion, Hermione, I'm afraid the house elves haven't been too keen on cooking. I hear Dumbledore is ordering loads and loads of canned and boxed food that can be served without a problem," explained Dean.

Hermione grumbled. "I almost wish I hadn't set them free now...I'll be the size of Dudley after a week of food like th-" She stopped talking when she noticed Seamus. His face was flushed and he kept his eyes riveted on Parvati, who was chatting animatedly with Lavender Brown at the opposite end of the table.

"Seamus?" she asked quietly. "What's wrong?"

When no reply came, Ron rolled his eyes. "He likes Parvati over there," he jerked his thumb in Parvati's direction, "and he can't muster up guts to tell her so."

Hermione's eyes shot from Parvati to Seamus and back again. She began to stand up.

"No, stop!" said Seamus suddenly, his voice gruff. "I've got to to tell her myself." He slowly stood, and Ron let out a whoop.

"That's it, just walk on up to her!"

"Ron!" warned Hermione as Seamus shuffled towards Parvati.

Neville Longbottom, who had been sitting by some fifth years, sauntered over to Harry, Hermione, Ron, Dean, and Ginny.

"What's Seamus doing?" he asked casually in his shy, soft voice.

"Asking Parvati out," Ron told him through a mouthful of macaroni.

Neville suddenly froze. "Parvati - Patil?" he whispered, his voice cracking.

"How many other Parvatis do we know?" said Dean, laughing.

Neville swallowed, his eyes following Seamus. "He can't," Neville whispered hoarsely.

"Why not?" mused Ginny. "I think they'll be extremely cute together."

Hermione's ever-accurate sense of emotion was hard at work. "Neville...you don't...you don't like her too, do you?"

Neville gulped as Seamus sat down next to Parvati at the other end of the long table.

"I do," he squeaked.

Harry broke out into a grin, and Ron snorted into his macaroni.

“I’d advise that you give it up, Neville,” said Hermione kindly. “She’s not the smartest of girls - in fact, she’s quite a ditz – and besides, she and Seamus seem to be getting on quite well…” She motioned over to Seamus, whose arm was now draped over the back of Parvati’s chair.

Neville began to shake violently, and his face turned beet red. “So you think that Parvati would choose Seamus over me?” he spat through clenched teeth. “I’ll tell you what, Hermione, I’m SICK of being inferior! I want to do something important for a change!”

Much of the activity in the Great Hall had now ceased, and everyone was staring at the fuming Neville. Paying no heed to the attention he was receiving, Neville ripped Ron’s bowl of macaroni right out from under his nose and flung it straight at Hermione. It spilled all over her robes and a few flecks of cheese covered her face and hair.

“Neville,” she said gently, looking afraid. “Neville, please…stop.”

“I’M NOT STOPPING!” shouted Neville, his eyes flashing dangerously. “I’M TIRED OF IT ALL. YOU ALL ACT LIKE I’M ON ONE OF THOSE MUGGLE SPACE CRAFTS – LIKE I’M TOO FAR AWAY FOR YOU TO TAKE NOTICE OF ME! I HATE IT!”

“He’s gone over the edge,” muttered Ron in awe.

Neville stormed over to Seamus and Parvati. He scooped some macaroni out of another bowl and flung it straight at Seamus.

Plop! It hit Seamus directly on his chest.

“Don’t make me hurt you, Neville!” warned Seamus, standing up and wiping globs of macaroni off of his robes.

“It may well be me who hurts YOU, Seamus!” retorted Neville. “Remember the time when you peed the bed in our fourth year and you made me swear not to tell anyone?” Neville chuckled dangerously. “I was a good friend. I kept your secret. Maybe I was a bit stupid. BUT NOT ANYMORE!”

Plip Plop! Another glob of macaroni collided with Seamus’s head.

“That’s it, Neville! You’ve crossed the line!” hollered Seamus angrily, throwing a punch at Neville’s stomach. He missed badly.

“Mr. Longbottom! Mr. Finnigan!” exclaimed Dumbledore, who was dining across the hall at the Staff table. They paid him no heed.

Neville swung out, hitting Seamus so hard that Seamus toppled over. Neville picked up a humongous bowl of macaroni and overturned it on Seamus’s face. He then stuffed the bowl over Seamus’s face and laughed triumphantly, even as Snape was pulling him off to Detention.



You see, macaroni has more than one use.



/End/