"And you're the one who is saying that you wouldn't wanna get back together once we're both out of Hogwarts." He pointed out. She was the one saying that, not him. For him that would be the plan even. And maybe in the meantime he could work on stuff and take what the healer said seriously... and stuff.

....

"Oh come on, they aren't that bad. Most of them are just my mates." She was overstating it, as if he constantly had to wade through a sea of Hogwartians with lady parts, as they grasped at, flailed, and wiggled with intent in his direction.

And didn't she have anything else to say? "So you agree with me. There's no reason to waste the next four months right? We might as well enjoy them, and then when the time comes... work out what we are gonna do." Right?

"Yep." After he'd kissed a million other girls and whatnot. Alice thought it was valid.

Please. He was so oblivious. "Yeah, right. That's what you think. Dunno how you don't even notice." If all of his mates were like Vesper... well, that was quite a lot then, wasn't it? Some of them were obvious, but she hadn't even accounted for the ones that were actually a bit discreet.

Girls were annoying.

"... yeah." Her voice was quiet, but there. Word of agreement. Were they they done now?

... and that bothered him a lot. "That doesn't make sense, Alice. You can turn loving someone off that easily? Over things that haven't happened and might not happen at all?" So yes when SHE didn't want HIM anymore. That was exactly what she was saying. That she wouldn't.

"Its what I know. I've got a ton of mates that aren't even a slight bit interested in me, its all in your head." Which was both flattering and annoying at the same time? Yeah. But that was sort of beside the point. He was chewing his lip again and watching her.

".... and I might accept one of these offers anyways and then... we can be together and it won't matter."

"When did I say I'd stop? All I said is I wouldn't be yours. Said nothing about shutting feelings down." Even if she liked him, Alice didn't have to date him, did she? And if it was going to be painful and drive her nuts, obviously she wouldn't do it.

Please. "You're oblivious to everything. Don't even know the half of it." He didn't even notice how he encouraged it, the git.

"..... I wish you would. A lot. But you won't." There was one person he cared about out there, while there were a million here.

"You said you wouldn't want to get back together. That's crazy. You're so stubborn about the dumbest things sometimes." But then... so was he. So that was probably why they had somehow managed to be together for more than two years now.

Gosh. Ages.

He made a face at her. It was SO in her head.

"I might. You don't know what I'll do. I don't know what I'll do." West was chewing his lip a lot today. "If you asked me to, I would."

"I would want to, but I wouldn't. I'm allowed to be." He was a dumb thing, and she was stubborn about him.

It made a little bit of sense to her.

That lip chewing was distracted, and Alice had to reach over and tug his lip out from between his teeth so she could concentrate her efforts on talking. "... why? All your friends are here. Everything is here." For him, at least. "It'd be selfish of me."

"Great. Another thing for the list of stuff you supposedly want to do but won't." He made a face at her. But seriously, she was putting that on this whole thing too? That if they broke up because long distance wasn't going to work, that she wouldn't want to get back together when he graduated? Because for West... well, after that there'd be no going back. If they broke up, then got back together when life made more sense, then it'd be forever, right?

He went sort of cross eyed trying to watch her hand when she tugged his lip out from his teeth.

"... yeah." No denying any of that. Friends. Quidditch. Everything. And it would be selfish. It would. "I still might decide to. Its a huge opportunity."

.... he had his thinking face on, and he gazed at her, eyes studying all the little points of her face.

"Alice?"

".... I don't know, okay? If you do dump me, wait and see what I say then." Minds changed and stuff. But as of now, she didn't think she would. Alice didn't want to feel like he pulled the strings and got her whenever he wanted. And still maintained the standing that if he cared enough, breaking up wouldn't happen in the first place.

Pause. "I do want you to. More than anything. But... but if you decide to leave school, do it 'cause you want to. Not because I ask." It was sort of like a disclaimer because asking would most probably happen. It would.

"Yeah?"

He hated that she kept putting it on him, it made it harder. What he wanted was to be able to discuss it and do right by both of them. It sucked. He wasn't equipped for this. He'd never even actually dumped Bliss so it wasn't like he'd dumped anyone before. And he didn't want to exactly... especially not with this shutdown of no possibility of getting back together.

"Yeah." Okay. So. That was his intention too, and he'd judge anyone who did otherwise, but it was... different suddenly. When it was him. It sucked.

West let out a breath. "Can you forget about this until the end of Summer? I mean... really. Can you put it out of your mind and properly be with me without holding back for fear of a broken heart?"

She was very, very quiet. No. Did he know how dumb that sounded? What exactly was the point of being his girlfriend if she knew there was a break up coming?

................

.......

"I'll try."

He was quiet too.

....

"I need to know for sure. I need to know you're all in, and that what could possibly be the last months together properly aren't going to be... a trigger." For things. She... knew what he meant right?

.........

....

Idiot.

"Fine."

What was that? What was fine? West couldn't count any of it as 'fine'and it felt like she wasn't taking stuff serious, like she was just brushing it off and agreeing just to placate him.

"Please... I need you to tell me you will or you won't. All or nothing for real this time. " His voice cracked a little like it hadn't for the longest time, but West ignored it and kept his eyes on her.

How could she be serious when it felt like he was taking NOTHING she said seriously?

"I will." Could he stop dragging it out now?

He relaxed, letting out a sigh and unknotting himself visibly releasing, the tension he hadn't known he was holding. Thank Merlin. Even if there was a niggle that made it feel like she wasn't being completely honest, West didn't want things to be over so he was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"Okay. " he said, sounding relieved. Okay. They were okay.

For now.

"Okay." Okay.

He looked better, at least. She gave his hand a little squeeze and then dropped it.

So now she just had to prove it right? Be all in for real and not just words? He went back to looking at Quidditch stuff.... And took her hand back.

He wanted to keep that.

But she couldn't do anything one handed. Alice did manage to snag a piece of Quidditch literature from him, though.

"Which uniform would I look better in, Magpies or Falcons?" Yes. Appearance was important, man.

"You'd look amazing in both." True. He leaned over and kissed her nose. He liked her best in colour though, which... was neither of those teams. Literally. Greyscale uniforms there for both.

She scrunched her nose idly when he kissed it. Did he know how unhelpful he was?

"Talked to Flamsteed the other day about other job options, too." 'Cause grayscale uniforms weren't her only options.

"You did?" He tilted his head, not completely surprised but... "Like what?"

And what could beat Quidditch aside from music anyways?

"Like.... jobs in the Astronomy field....?" What else would she talk about with her Astronomy professor?

..... actually, a lot of things, so that was a fairly valid question.

"Well.... are you gonna tell me about it?" He leaned over and rested his chin on her shoulder, stealing a tiny kiss on her cheek while he was at it.

Was she seriously not going to even think about this Quidditch thing? She could do stuff with stars later. After injuries took her out of the league.

Alice barely registered the cheek kiss. "... uh..... well. I went to his office as soon as I knew I didn't want to be a cursebreaker 'cause Runes has been hard and boring the last few classes. S'not for me. And I'd already gotten my scouting offers, and I just talked to him. And he gave me information on the different fields. Observational, not theoretical." 'Cause theory was.... not for her either.

That was pretty much it. And she knew West probably thought it ridiculous of her to refuse those kinds of Quidditch offers, but... "If you had to choose between playing professionally and touring with your band, what'd it be? I... this is my music."

He'd wanted to be a curse breaker once too, on account of his dad and all, but West had worked out that it wouldn't be right for him a few terms ago now, so he nodded. For him it wasn't the runes it was the arithmancy that put a damper on that particular career path.

And then her question. He bit his lip. "I'd find it.... impossible to choose. I just..." He trailed off. But he understood. He did. If astronomy brought her more joy than Quidditch though...

"If you play Quidditch professionally... you could still do astronomy stuff afterwards." He pointed out.