You can keep your lengthy theories,
You can watch your crystal ball,
But listen close to someone worthy -
The Sorting Hat knows all.
Some say that Harry will die,
And Darkness take over the world.
Others claim Draco's for Herm,
Or that Ron is secretly a girl.
Now, I've heard all the ideas
That excited fans send around,
But I am here to tell you,
That none of them are sound.
I can say, for instance, that Harry's safe,
And the Light Side will prevail.
Hermione is meant for Ron,
Who is, most certainly, male.
Do you desire something more specific?
If you wish, I could relate
A most amusing and ironic tale;
The tale of Draco's fate.
In the summer after fifth year,
As he goes to buy a new broom,
Draco will stop in The Leaky Cauldron
In order to use the restroom.
While he hurries to the stall,
He'll leave sitting on the sink
His most recent purchase:
His butterbeer drink.
Just after he is out of sight,
In behind him will come
The boy that trouble always follows --
Poor Neville Longbottom.
Neville will have in his hand
A butterbeer bottle, too.
But instead of its rightful contents,
It shall contain a powerful brew.
You see, Neville will have just returned
From summer Potions study,
Having made a potent tonic
To erase the memory of somebody.
Without thinking, he'll set the bottle
On the sink right beside its twin,
And when, soon after, Draco emerges
He'll grab the bottle the potion's in.
With a quick gulp and a bizarre moment,
Draco's memories will quickly wane
And absent-mindedly, he will wander
Through the door to the Muggle lane.
In Muggle London he will meander
'Til a hobo teaches him her ways.
And on the streets, Draco will beg
Until the end of his days.