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| Finished Poetry Finished poetry threads come here to rest and be remembered. |
12-22-2003, 12:18 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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I have a few sonnets
Too long have I been crying
Can’t remember my own smile
I’ve given up on fighting
Thrown away my past lifestyle
I saw rain when there was sun
I saw the dark when it was light
The happiness? There was none
I was left alone in the night
I lift my head by instinct
To see a hand reaching down
The depression is extinct
A smile replaces my frown
A true friend had come to my side
A friend in which I could confide
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None nearby
There is not one single soul
That gives a care for her presence
Her one happiness grows cold
No one notices her absence
The small tear that falls goes unseen
The whispered prayer is stopped
A depressing touch to the scene
The dream is quickly popped
She sits alone in the night
The fears are again renewed
A longing to run and hide
And find a friend that is true
The taunts are taunted louder
The hope is crushed to powder
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The snow lightly drifts and falls
Whether in your mind or not
The time it seems to stall
On that very special spot
The lights brighten up your face
A smile you can’t hold back
It’s peaceful inside that place
Your thoughts won’t stay on track
A tune of songs reaches your ear
It sticks inside your head
Over and over it you can hear
Nothing else can be said
There are no tears not even a few
So now I say Happy Christmas to you
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I can feel the tears fall down
You have left me all alone
The once sweet smile now a frown
I can’t bare to let you go
All of the past memories fade
And all is swept away
Can’t remember good times made
There’s nothing left to say
You were always there beside me
But now where have you gone
Your face or smile I can not see
All is not right but wrong
I won’t be able to see the reason why
Nor able to stop the few tears I cry
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Lone
To her there is no one
She's all alone in the dark night
There is no place to run
Nor place for her hopes to take flight
Where she goes no one cares
What she says no one hears
To her no one compares
Friends? There is none but peers
She is lost in her own dream world
Secrets in her heart she keeps
To her she is the only girl
A tear falls down while she sleeps
There’s none that can help her find
A single normal right mind
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12-22-2003, 12:20 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: B.C., Canada
Posts: 2,477
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These are great,Lyssa. Very emotional.
I like the fourth one best.
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12-22-2003, 12:22 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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Gracias my mucho! lol here's nuther one
From the beginning we always said
We’ll be friends forever
A smile playing inside our heads
About spending time together
Later something happened to you
You treated me like dirt
Turned my world and self a dark blue
Left me to go and flirt
I watched you fall away
Until soon you hated me
Your promise you soon betrayed
Yet you could not even see
What happened scared my life from that day on
My best friend had left me and she was gone
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12-22-2003, 12:23 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| Ramora
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: England
Posts: 5,451
Hogwarts RPG Name: Roland Mow Baims Fifth Year |
brilliance shear brilliance ,i wish i could write poetry like that ,well i think my poetry talent is low but my drawing talent is high.
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12-22-2003, 03:47 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| Fire Slug
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 164
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These are wonderful! You have some very awesome talent, keep up the good work!
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12-22-2003, 05:43 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| Murtlap
Join Date: May 2003 Location: In a little dark hole south of the rising sun
Posts: 55
Hogwarts RPG Name: Saphire Mahoney Low None |
Not bad;not bad at all. Quite brillant if you asked me. Keep it up the the more you write the better you will ultimately be. Oh and don't be afriad to show a little anger in poems anyways great job. :flowersmile: :flowersmile: :flowersmile:
P.S. I have poetry called Rally's poetry. So if you could take it out of the kindness of your heart to read it. I will be eternally grateful
Rally
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12-23-2003, 05:55 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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Awwwwwwww thank you guys I really appreciate your feedback
Everything should be stopping soon
Everything should cease to be here
You’re gone and there is still a moon
How can I live with you not near
No one seems to notice you
I am the only one who cares
At least it seems really true
Now I’m just a half of a pair
Why must the stars keep shining
While you have gone away
I’d say this is bad timing
Why couldn’t you have stayed
Take me away to where you are
I can not stand it with you far
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12-26-2003, 08:58 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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I'll write more soon thank you for your comments
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12-31-2003, 08:45 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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this one was inspired by my new rp Someone's waiting for me
Someone’s waiting for me
I can feel it inside
Why can’t you see
There’s no where to hide
I am slowly dieing now
Can you realise
I don’t understand how
Nothing’s going right
Everything is fading to black
The stars dim away
And seems they won’t come back
I can’t hear what you say
Take my hand inside your own
Never ever leave me alone
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12-31-2003, 10:54 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| Fire Slug
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 164
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HERES a comment! I think your work is wonderful. Quote: Everything is fading to black
The stars dim away
And seems they won’t come back
I can’t hear what you say That was my favorite part, the "fading to black" was really nice, it not only gave some imagery, but since it's a kind of theatrical phrase, it sort of gave the whole piece a sort of dramatic feel... very nice. Keep up the excellent work. |
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12-31-2003, 11:17 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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Oh thank you so much
just a note that sonnet didn't follow any of the rules cept the rhyming scheme! lol
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01-01-2004, 12:23 AM
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#12 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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Lost in the dark no one around
What she says no one shall hear
She wears not a smile but a frown
Face is covered by so many tears
She hasn’t laughed in decades
She can barely even survive
The glint in her eye continues to fade
As she waits for the end of her life
Where she goes no one cares
They all talk behind her back
Friends? There is none there
Happiness she continues to lack
No one notices her waste away
She hopes for at least one joyful day
that's from my book that I'm writing
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01-01-2004, 12:52 AM
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#13 (permalink)
| Nogtail
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: garden state
Posts: 4,892
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Aww these are so good! Please write more. Talent is all I can say.
__________________ every me & every you |
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01-01-2004, 03:39 AM
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#14 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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thankies right now I'm babysitting and the ten year old is giving the three year old a wedgie so I can't write! *yells at the kids to stop fighting as the two year old continues to pretend to be a puppy*
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01-01-2004, 08:08 PM
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#15 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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CAn you see me
Or am I invisible to you
Can you hear me
Or are you deaf to truth
I have screamed and cried in your face
Yet you still simply turn away
I told you death was near in this place
Your eyes were filled with hate
Now you yell to me to stay
But there's nothing left for me
You say wait another day
I only wanted to be free
You took my hand as I slipped into forever
Your tear fell while I left to return never
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01-01-2004, 09:59 PM
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#16 (permalink)
| Firecrab
Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: In a castle far far away...
Posts: 724
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Those Sonnets are really good. Keep up the good writting. :flowersmile:
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01-02-2004, 09:13 PM
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#17 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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The sun never shines
Not a smile to found
The rain’s not kind
As it falls to the ground
As I look to you
Eyes are filled with fear
Nothing seems true
And hope is not near
Tears roll down my face
You don’t realise the change
My eyes are just a haze
Faith is now a smaller range
Looking further up to the sky
Asking questions why
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01-03-2004, 11:56 PM
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#18 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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I dunno about that one. What do you think?
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01-06-2004, 05:30 PM
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#19 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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Is anyone there? sorry I've got writer's block now
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01-06-2004, 05:35 PM
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#20 (permalink)
| Jobberknoll
Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: off to see the wizard of oz
Posts: 4,380
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oh its good. lol it sounds like luna thou. lol. hello, keep going.
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01-06-2004, 05:43 PM
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#21 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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that's cause most of my poetry is centered around that theme you know
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01-10-2004, 08:04 PM
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#22 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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All I can see is my tears
You left me alone
Surrounded by fears
I can't let you go
Why can't I see
You're never coming back
My life will never be
Back on the right track
I'll never know your smile
Never hear you laugh or cry
You didn't leave for a while
I wonder why the innocent die
As I look up to the clouds and sun
And wonder if I'll ever have fun
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01-10-2004, 09:26 PM
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#23 (permalink)
| DRFC Activity Officer Protector of Dan’s Brains Puffskein
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Everywhere and no-where
Posts: 2,396
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That remindes me of my friend Mads... he was so nice... just looking at him made me happy...
__________________ I Dan Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! |
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01-11-2004, 05:57 PM
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#24 (permalink)
| Banned Chizpurfle
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the twilight zone doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Posts: 10,259
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Here's one about Ginny
She knows not of what she does
Yet sense something wrong
She doesn't mean to cause what she caused
Too late to change what is done
Dug herself a hole with no way out
All from a very foolish trust
A subtle move quiet not loud
To pour out her feelings she felt she must
She was concealed in terror's mind
Fearful unknown memories
A tear from her eye emits light
From her trance whe wanst to break free
Her life was then soon saved
The experience in her mind graved
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01-11-2004, 05:58 PM
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#25 (permalink)
| Nogtail
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: garden state
Posts: 4,892
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GReat Great poems!
__________________ every me & every you |
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