Well actually I was talking more about the language than the content. I might have been reading Macbeth, and gotten the same thing out of it...and one of the English teachers @ our school said they were more horny teenagers than in love...lol. I couldn't argue with that. btw, the way you capitalized the word "who" made me be like "you are Keith Moon, Pete Townsend, etc., and covered by Green Day...". And oh yeah....thanks.

whoa! these are magical, I thought you said you were no good? LIAR!!! *giggle* you make my poems look crappy lol. O well.

Ha ha magical. *laughs*. That's hysterical. Lol. And I guess...to be cliché, you are your own worst critic.... unless you're on national television. And I'm constantly writing, but I never finish anything. Uh....maybe I should update? And I've never heard anyone say that my poetry is magical...

I liked it, keep up the good work

I love how people always say "keep up the good work". It's like it's actually something that you don't want to do....Believe me, people, it's distracting, yes, it bugs my mind to heck, yes, but I'd rather be dreaming and writing poetry than homework...

Here's something I did when I was supposed to be reading Romeo and Juliet. (the idea came during Gym, when I was walking into the building from running...)

Make yourself dignified
Throw out your innocence
sacrifice your identity
subject to authority
the laughter - can you hear it?
the end - do you fear it?
chances are it's all because
the rules are always changing
make yourself suffer
and smile for the camera
smile sweetly, be pure
but don't refuse your peers


okay I lied. Most of that I wrote just now. I know it's short, but...it's something.

uumm... my brain's not working today. Can you explain that poem?? when you say "sacrifice your identity" and "don't refuse your peers", is that a message of conformity??

Yes. That's the general theme of my poetry. It's a bit played out, but I'm going to continue writing it until I get it right, because I have yet to pinpoint it. And "smile sweetly, be pure" vs "but don't refuse your peers" I was thinking about how there's all this supposed peer pressure and whatnot about drugs and sex, and people say "you have to stay clean" and whatnot...all these preachy conservative kids around here, and then there are those who are like just all over it with the stuff...and of course, it's just one of those things...I don't know if this is coming across the right way....um...let me start @ the beginning:

Make yourself look important or don't look like a fool. The way to do this is to listen to your elders and don't make yourself stand out too much. You must be a slave to authority and never take a stand.
Then it's like are you really scared of the end or is it just going to be another adventure? Fear is something they're using on you so they can use you.
Things tend to get hypocritical and everyone is out for only himself.
Make yourself dumb and give in because that's what you're supposed to do.
Look sweet, talk dirty.

Okay yeah broken down it sounds harsh. But I swear you just have to take it as it is. That's the purpose. I mean, obviously the people reading it aren't the ones who really need to hear it. But you need to actually say things in order to get the results. Yeah now I look and sound like an idiot, and the blood is on my hands....

you don't sound like an idiot. It's just... harsh is the right term. I mean, I'm all for conformity, like yay! and all, but non-conformity doesn't necessarily mean you'll stand out, or that you shouldn't take a stand. I mean there are those who are just TOO much, but it's all about self control and confidence. i agree that things always get hypocritical, but one shouldn't just "give in". i dont know, i'm stupid, so i dont even know if i'm understanding it right.

Well, my poem, or at least my explanation, was sarcastic. Or, trying to be from the perspective of the people not myself, or the general message that teens like me are fed. Yeah, like I said. Harsh. That's what I mean by I haven't pinpointed the subject yet. I should really back off for a moment and try to write something lighter. Then maybe I could get my head around it. When you say there "are those who are just TOO much", what do you mean? And yeah, not giving in is the point. You see, this is why I like Green Day. Things are put so well....okay, back to the point. You should find your own identity, grab hold of it. Shock people. Do something that isn't expected. I mean....gah, this is so hard to articulate. For someone as unseasoned as myself, especially. Okay, I'm just going to do this.



This is a public service announcement, this is only a test
emergency evacuation protest
may impair your ability to operate machinery
can't quite tell just what it means to me
keep out of reach and children don't you talk to strangers
is it the cop or am I the one that's really dangerous
sanitation, expiration date, pushing everything
or shut up and be a victim of authority

Warning, live without warning
warning, live without warning

...

I wanna be the minority
I don't need your authority
Down with the moral majority
'Cause I wanna be the minority

I pledge allegiance to the underworld
One nation under dark
thereof which I stand alone
a face in the crowd
a song that gets the mold
without a doubt
singled out
the only way I knwo

I wanna be the minority
I don't need your authority
Down with the moral majority
'Cause I wanna be the minority

One light
One mind
Flashin' in the dark
blinded by the silence of a thousand broken hearts
for crying out loud
she screams unto me
a free for all
f*** 'em all
the only way I know

Step out of the line
Like a sheep runs from the herd
Marching out of time
To my own beat now
the only way I know



Sorry, but that's the only way that I know how to articulate it. Is it making any more or less sense now?

^ that was beautiful! beautiful in a rock and roll kinda way . Makes sense now. Thanks for clearing that up. When I said TOO much, I meant those who are extremely either non-conformists that what they do is way out of line, or the conformists who just lose their identities completely, like you said. I guess it's because I've always been in the middle, trying to conform to what society thinks is right, but knowing exactly what I want and trying to put the two together. I'm not very good at explanations, so that's all I can say. But I love that last poem!!

Jo. The last poem it's my favorite! I really know what you want to say with it 'cause I feel exactly like you. It's scaring but it's true.
And actually I have 2 or 3 poems talking about the same thing.

Yay! You guys understand me and I understand what you guys are saying. Woot. *does dance of mutual communication*. Lol. Wait up here...I wrote something yesterday...it's kinda *dumb*, but there's no point in *hiding*. Alrighty...found it...

Dichotomy
Too much emotion
to fit into one body
overwhelming chaos
controlling a once-sane mind
thought over feeling
is successfully abandoned
feeling over thought
is the One True Constant
that is the dichotomy
over this being
dominating my actions
derailing my conscience
controlling my mind
once and for all
from now until
the day I die?


I'm happy. It has a title...

lol, so it does! Awesome poem! So it's the dichotomy of the emotion over the mind??

I like it.
(and like always, I know how you feel.)

Laieesha: Yes. Oh and so you know, the last thing I posted before Dichotomy, wasn't me. I guess I didn't really come out and say it...I thought I did. But that's a Green Day song.
Luna: Thank you. And, of course.

*gasp* I thought it was you! Ok, so I really thought it was based on a GD song, but I thought you wrote it. well coolio anyway!

Ha ha I'm flattered that you thought it was me, but alas, I am not that articulate with my feelings...

yay <3 *hail*

Who me? *looks around* I'm the only one here, but I don't see anyone to hail...Why? What did I do? *feels dumb*.

disclaimer: this isn't mine
I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for a specialy offer
guaranteed personality

I wasn't born so much as I fell out
nobody seemed to notice me
we had a hedge back home in the suburbs
over which I never could see
....

yes I was hailing you, fool bcos you're stuff is ace and you posted Green Day stuff << spreading the joy of green day- yay!

I've been meaning to come look at your poetry for more than a week now and haven't gotten around to it til now. I blame all my school work *notices lovely Green Day lyrics posted and starts singing* Well, I love the new poems a lot, just as I like your others. But, uhmm, I have one quetion and I feel stupid asking but.. what does "dichotomy" mean? Lol, dictionary.com isn't working for me at them moment and I don't feel like cleaning my room just to find my dictionary. I'm lazy... sometimes.

Don't feel stupid asking it, I had to look it up myself to be sure I was using it correctly.
Now, on with the show. Not that it's a good show. It isn't even mediocre today...

Minutes passing slowly by
torturous, the seconds seem hours
within the hour passes a day
by my imagination
my sleeping mind is taking me
to undesired places
and in the dark of my mind
see imaginary faces
Clash and burn is playing
over and over in my head
look at me and you might think
that I'm already dead
sinister cool
that's how I feel
you'll know it when you see it
my blood has cooled in its tracks
and it's too dark to see it
minutes passing slowly by
like candles of black light
illuminating only shadows
in the night


Maybe analyzing poetry takes away the elusive art of it, but I feel this poem needs some explanation, or you might think it's dark. Well actually, it is dark, but the meaning is quite simple. I had my chemistry final today (I failed it.). The first hour and a half was a lab that we had to do, then we had an hour to answer questions based on the lab and what we observed. I just sort of fudged it, because I didn't record what I needed to and I didn't have my calculator. Anyway, I was really tired today (and somehow whatever energy there is in me is drawn out in chemistry class like blood by a syringe) and since I didn't have everything I needed it took me like 30 minutes (half of which was spent trying to stay awake) to finish, leaving me with 30 minutes to "fiddle about". Can't fall asleep...how about writing a poem? So yeah, I would like be falling asleep for what felt like ages, I look back up at the clock and only two minutes have passed. Which is what compelled me to write that. That mess. Tells you just what kind of state my mind was in...

So with the line "Clash and burn" I was actually making a reference to the band, The Clash, because I had the song "Career Opportunities" stuck in my head...hence the "Clash and burn is playing over and over in my head". Quite literal. And "look at me and you might think that I'm already dead" well....I felt dead. Like, if someone were to look at me, they wouldn't see life in my eyes, because I was practically sleeping and my mind was out cold...there really aren't any other lines that have a specific explanation other than "it sounded cool" but if you have to know...ask. I just don't feel like going in to any more detail than I already have at this point.

wow Kori.....that's why my parents were a little bit worried about me (i was depressed). I think writting and music brings me to life sometimes......

No one asks to be a poet
I guess people are just born that way
cursed to wander throughout their mind
organize thoughts into chaos
for ink on paper to display

No one asks to be an artist
I guess that they were born like that
Shaping thoughts into something viewed
a brush to smear onto the canvas
like the scratches of a cat

No one asks to be a sculptor
guess that's just the way they are
"taking away everything
that doesn't look like" what it is
This kind of mark leaves but a scar

She never asked to be a poet
I guess that's just the way she is
pouring her blood in black and blue ink
it's just as easy as it sounds

^ Awesome *claps*... what else can i say?