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| | Finished Poetry Finished poetry threads come here to rest and be remembered. | 
08-19-2009, 12:48 PM
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#26 (permalink)
| | Blast-Ended Skrewt
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 15,697
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sebastian Price
First Year |  The Harpy of Hogwarts | Dungeon Mistress | Bimba di Serpeverde
I love waking up and finding a good poem to read! Thank you
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08-19-2009, 06:17 PM
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#27 (permalink)
| | Pogrebin
Join Date: May 2009 Location: London
Posts: 32,841
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Alexander River Hirsch
Gryffindor Third Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
--
  x11  x11
| urine trouble | Pat's Strong Confident Other Half | Pees Like a Champion Unicorn Racehorse
Aw! That post was so cute! You've really portrayed Remus and his feelings really well! You're a really good writer! Great post! Loved it! Can't wait for more!
Kita
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08-20-2009, 02:18 AM
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#28 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Whilds
Posts: 388
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Rania Ramone
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From Tonks. To Remus.
Part Deux
My oh my,
I heard you last night
howling away at the moon.
Was that your letter?
Or perhaps ... you've managed to swoon?
I will admit, love, that you're
deep graying hair
has quite caused a stirring
in my imagination.
How high can I go as to not
completely rearrange in your mind
your constant constellations?
As a matter of fact
if it's any consolation to your romantic woes,
I have, in fact, grown quite attached
to the very man you know.
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08-20-2009, 02:25 AM
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#29 (permalink)
|   SS Featured AuthorTürk BilginiBugbear
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: {in a leap of faith}
Posts: 31,791
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sarani Glass
Graduated x12
| ♥ Mrs. Itachi Uchiha™ & MAJNOO! : Bleach & Kyo & Natsume ♥ [ Maxh!Jesh ]
Nice, new work, sweetie. I haven't read all of it yet, but I'm commenting on some of what I have read, right now. <3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rania  Secrets -
your secrets are sweet and soft
like the midnight moon grinning down at the sun. Very imaginative. Nice simile, too.
Quote: Passing by you wink, my muse.
Strolling by you smile, you sly devil, you. I found this one of the weaker bits of the poem. The first line quoted is delicious, but the second line seems to disrupt the flow of the whole thing. But the poem on the whole makes up splendidly for it. 
Quote: These secrets
only create more secrets. This was an amazing ending. It seems to sum up so much, really. Great finish, let's have a round of applause here. <3
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08-20-2009, 02:38 AM
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#30 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Whilds
Posts: 388
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Rania Ramone
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Eh. Line two is supposed to be repetitive. I LIKED that it interrupted the flow, heehee. It's just my style. Thanks very much for the input, it is ALWAYS appreciated. =D Come back soon.
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08-20-2009, 02:45 AM
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#31 (permalink)
| SS Featured AuthorTürk Bilgini Bugbear
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: {in a leap of faith}
Posts: 31,791
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sarani Glass
Graduated x12
| ♥ Mrs. Itachi Uchiha™ & MAJNOO! : Bleach & Kyo & Natsume ♥ [ Maxh!Jesh ]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rania Eh. Line two is supposed to be repetitive. I LIKED that it interrupted the flow, heehee. It's just my style. Awww, okay hun. I didn't mean to be rude or anything. I'm a published poetess myself, and I actually really enjoy your poetry. <3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rania From Tonks. To Remus.
Part Deux Duex. I love that word.
Quote: completely rearrange in your mind
your constant constellations? VERY beautiful. My favourite bit in the whole poem.
Quote: I have, in fact, grown quite attached
to the very man you know. Nice work, another good finish.
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08-20-2009, 02:57 AM
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#32 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Whilds
Posts: 388
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Rania Ramone
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Oh my. You see, the problem with speaking over the internet is that one can't be quite sure what the other's emotions are when 'chatting.' I didn't take what you said into offense at all. I LOVE being critiqued. Perhaps you can give me some tips on how to get published. I know I have great material. I just don't know what to do with it. =] Thanks a billion.
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08-20-2009, 08:37 PM
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#33 (permalink)
| | Pogrebin
Join Date: May 2009 Location: London
Posts: 32,841
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Alexander River Hirsch
Gryffindor Third Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
--
x11 x11
| urine trouble | Pat's Strong Confident Other Half | Pees Like a Champion Unicorn Racehorse
Wow! That was brilliant! It was so cute! You've portrayed Tonks and her feelings well! Well done! Great post! Loved it! Can't wait for more!
Kita
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Last edited by hermionesclone; 08-23-2009 at 04:20 PM.
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08-20-2009, 11:06 PM
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#34 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Whilds
Posts: 388
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Rania Ramone
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LOL I'm glad you "loved it. can't wait for more."
Those are my two favorite statements. =]]] thanks for the loyalty to my thread. It's awesome. More poetry soon, you guys.
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08-20-2009, 11:16 PM
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#35 (permalink)
| | Puffskein
Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: United States- TX
Posts: 1,393
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Mauricio Lucien Xanders
Sixth Year | ##Life Sucks,Then You Die.##- I am Misunderstood,Vulnerable,and In Love<3
Nice Poetry...
Please Post More Soon...
And Hey you Should Check Out My Poems...
Hehehehe we can Be Poetry Buddies=)
That would Be sooooo Kool..
Pams!!!
Xavier  | |
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08-20-2009, 11:22 PM
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#36 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Whilds
Posts: 388
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Rania Ramone
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Haha. I have. It's quite nice. Poetry buddies=fer sure. =]
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08-20-2009, 11:25 PM
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#37 (permalink)
| | Puffskein
Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: United States- TX
Posts: 1,393
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Mauricio Lucien Xanders
Sixth Year | ##Life Sucks,Then You Die.##- I am Misunderstood,Vulnerable,and In Love<3
My Poems Are Depressing...
Scary...And Other Dark Stuff.....
They are Hardly About Love..Lol
And..
YAY!!!
POETRY BUDDIES!!!!!!!!
Post soon...
-Xavier -
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08-20-2009, 11:31 PM
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#38 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Whilds
Posts: 388
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Rania Ramone
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This one's for you, Xavier. LOL
Snape's Requiem.
Basking in darkness,
surrounded by the thick evil in the world
the strict bars of life bound us
to bid certain bygones.
Laying beneath the speckled
sprites of stars
one can only think of what's been lost.
In memories I clutch to your spirit
In photographic memories your smile
sails through my mind.
It is a certain sad path that you've relayed.
With the pressing black atmosphere
looming around me,
the memory of you I pass down to Potter.
With the elusive light of your green eyes
glaring down upon me
the life I've led in sorrow
I pass down to Potter.
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08-20-2009, 11:34 PM
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#39 (permalink)
| | Puffskein
Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: United States- TX
Posts: 1,393
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Mauricio Lucien Xanders
Sixth Year | ##Life Sucks,Then You Die.##- I am Misunderstood,Vulnerable,and In Love<3
Aww...
You Deticated That Poem to Me<3
I love it!!!!!!!!!!!
Because It has A dark Tone to It...
Hehehehehehe
-Xavier -
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08-21-2009, 05:17 PM
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#40 (permalink)
| | Pogrebin
Join Date: May 2009 Location: London
Posts: 32,841
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Alexander River Hirsch
Gryffindor Third Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
--
x11 x11
| urine trouble | Pat's Strong Confident Other Half | Pees Like a Champion Unicorn Racehorse
Aw! That was so good! And sad! Poor Snape! Rania, you write very well! Great post! Loved it! Can't wait for more!
Kita
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08-21-2009, 06:52 PM
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#41 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Whilds
Posts: 388
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Rania Ramone
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Hurrah! I love it when you say that! LOL! More to come soon.
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08-22-2009, 04:02 PM
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#42 (permalink)
| | Blast-Ended Skrewt
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 15,697
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sebastian Price
First Year | The Harpy of Hogwarts | Dungeon Mistress | Bimba di Serpeverde
Nice!
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08-22-2009, 06:11 PM
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#43 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Whilds
Posts: 388
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Rania Ramone
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Time Turner
Let the seasons segue,
I'm ready for a quite cold change.
Suddenly these slight simper
winds have me hanging out
into a dimension of longing.
I've been alone
enclosed by complete darkness.
I've seen how heartless
this world in whole can be.
I'm ready for autumn
and her barren but bountiful breezes.
If I ever miss summer
I'll take my time turner
and leave.
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08-22-2009, 06:23 PM
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#44 (permalink)
| SS Featured AuthorTürk Bilgini Bugbear
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: {in a leap of faith}
Posts: 31,791
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sarani Glass
Graduated x12
| ♥ Mrs. Itachi Uchiha™ & MAJNOO! : Bleach & Kyo & Natsume ♥ [ Maxh!Jesh ]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rania Perhaps you can give me some tips on how to get published. I know I have great material. I just don't know what to do with it. =] Thanks a billion. Have you tried an agent, luff? Quote:
Originally Posted by Rania the strict bars of life bound us
to bid certain bygones. Beautifully said. <3 Quote:
the life I've led in sorrow
I pass down to Potter.
VERY nice ending, I love the flow of the whole thing. Job well done! Quote:
Originally Posted by Rania Let the seasons segue,
I'm ready for a quite cold change. This is.... really romantic. I don't know why I took to it that way, but it's so imaginative. I adore this bit! Quote:
into a dimension of longing.
"Dimension of longing" - Lovely wording. <3
* * * Good job, good job. Can't wait for more!
-hug-
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08-22-2009, 06:56 PM
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#45 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Whilds
Posts: 388
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Rania Ramone
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Hurrah, hurrah! I'm so glad you liked them, Maxie. And no, I haven't tried an agent. Doesn't something like that require money? If so, lack there of.
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08-22-2009, 07:57 PM
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#46 (permalink)
| | Pogrebin
Join Date: May 2009 Location: London
Posts: 32,841
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Alexander River Hirsch
Gryffindor Third Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
--
x11 x11
| urine trouble | Pat's Strong Confident Other Half | Pees Like a Champion Unicorn Racehorse
Wow! That was so good! It was very deep and meaningful. You write really well!
Kita
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08-23-2009, 02:53 AM
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#47 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Whilds
Posts: 388
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Rania Ramone
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Yule Ball Dithyramb
Grace your presence on me as
starlight softly tip-toes.
Meet me in the hall with glittered
drapery; where everyone waltzes
while waning reality to fine dust.
... a single moment 'susts with the
reeve of each solemn note.
We address the moon a poseur whom
frolics the sky with poise.
Come create me your banner of innocent
obscenity so I can taste your desirous
smile.
Confront my heart -
confess to me your frivolous
fascination as we continue to
dance unbounded.
Follow me behind the secret stairways.
From Tonks To Remus
Part Three
He sees the silent breaths of heaven
and sings to me angels hymns.
He whispers unfathomed verses.
His animated arms stretch the bare
sky.
He collects in serene green eyes
memories within the moon
and so sweetly shares that uncommon
terrestrial scene.
With words barely rolling of the edge
of my imagination,
off the bounds of his bright lips,
he ends the story a miss
by sending the forbidden kiss.
There's two for everyone to enjoy. =] Thanks for reading, you awesome lot, you!
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Last edited by Rania; 08-23-2009 at 03:34 AM.
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08-23-2009, 03:15 AM
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#48 (permalink)
| SS Featured AuthorTürk Bilgini Bugbear
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: {in a leap of faith}
Posts: 31,791
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sarani Glass
Graduated x12
| ♥ Mrs. Itachi Uchiha™ & MAJNOO! : Bleach & Kyo & Natsume ♥ [ Maxh!Jesh ]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rania Hurrah, hurrah! I'm so glad you liked them, Maxie. And no, I haven't tried an agent. Doesn't something like that require money? If so, lack there of. -random hug-
Try a reputed publisher, luff. Good publishers NEVER ask for money. Rather, they pay you in advance, and then you get royalties, and stuff. Quote:
Originally Posted by Rania Grace your presence on me as
starlight softly tip-toes. You have such beautiful starts. -in love-
Starlight on tiptoe.... Such a truly lovely comparison. Quote:
while waning reality to fine dust.
Fine dust = lovely metaphor for the loss of "reality." <3 Quote:
Follow me behind the secret stairways.
Lovely. VERY lovely.
Secret stairways = Awesome'eth. Quote:
He collects in calm brown eyes
memories within the moon
Adore these lines. "Memories within the moon" - very nice touch. <3 Quote:
by sending the forbidden kiss.
Forbidden kiss.... Wow. Great adjectival use. It makes everything seem so much more romantic. Yes, I can be such hopeless romantic, sometimes.
One word: MORE! 
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08-23-2009, 03:23 AM
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#49 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Whilds
Posts: 388
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Rania Ramone
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Quote:
Try a reputed publisher, luff. Good publishers NEVER ask for money. Rather, they pay you in advance, and then you get royalties, and stuff.
Oooh. =] Which publisher did you go to?
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08-23-2009, 03:11 PM
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#50 (permalink)
| 
SS100 TriumphantMooncalf
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Yonder ♥
Posts: 7,769
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Carve Hetcher
Fifth Year | so you can convince yourself that im cute
New Reader! i love them!
this line is amazing! it makes you all dreamy lol Quote:
Originally Posted by Rania Untitled
Beware of that mark,
it whispers in dreams
and creeps into the whistle
of slow winds. love it | |
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