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Go Back   SnitchSeeker.com > Forums > Floo Network (Extra Fun) > Honeydukes (FanFiction) > Honeydukes Register (Finished FanFiction) > Finished Fanworks > Finished Poetry
Reload this Page Poetry of the mind


Finished Poetry Finished poetry threads come here to rest and be remembered.

 
 
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Old 01-11-2004, 05:17 PM   #1 (permalink)
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THis is a thread for my poetry! I've been told that it's good enough to be published but I need other opinions!
Please tell me why
Please tell me why can’t I, breathe when your near me,
when you’re close to me.
I know you know I’m lost in loving you deeply, loving you secretly.

But I crash in my mind, whenever you are near
Getting deaf, dumb, and blind
Just drowning in despair
I’m lost in your flame
It’s burning like the sun
And I Call your name
The moment you are gone.

Tomorrow, I’ll say it all tomorrow
Or the day after tomorrow
I’m sure I’ll tell you then…
That ‘I Love You’
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Old 01-11-2004, 05:56 PM   #2 (permalink)
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These are great!
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Old 01-12-2004, 08:24 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Really good... I must say...
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Old 01-15-2004, 10:23 AM   #4 (permalink)

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Oh, not depressig. I like it. It's a reality one there :flowersmile:
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Old 01-18-2004, 05:12 AM   #5 (permalink)
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awww that veryyyy good!! there are sooo many good poems!!! you are talented too!!
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Old 02-01-2004, 04:37 AM   #6 (permalink)
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It's really good. I like it.
 
Old 02-06-2004, 11:52 PM   #7 (permalink)
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hmmmm im liking it. its not very depressing, but the descriptions give it the sense that it could if you kept it going, getting deeper into the subject if you know what i mean. Otherwise, i love it!
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Old 10-30-2004, 02:54 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I love it!!! Thats how I feel sometimes, but dont think Im some depressed loser lol
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Old 11-17-2004, 12:02 AM   #9 (permalink)
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It's great! :flowersmile:
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Old 12-23-2004, 07:23 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I like it! Very moving. I felt what you described. That is what makes a good poem, not to mention the poet!
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Old 01-22-2005, 02:46 AM   #11 (permalink)
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It's ok. put some more rhyming and that would be fabulous... I know it's hard to make poems with rhyme, but your brain will challenge... I like it though...
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Old 01-25-2005, 08:46 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I am going to be blunt cause well that's the way I work. Your writing is very amirable it I think can be published. Though you will need to look over your grammar. always look over your grammar believe me it helps. Also if you decide to publish make sure you submit to a legit poetry contest or company. As a fellow poet please remember that the greatest satisfaction comes from knowing how much the poems (the work you put your heart and soul into) are good enough for you and not anybody else.

-Rally

P.S. oh if um you wanted to read my poetry it Rally's poetry
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