You betcha!

The Second I Close My Eyes

There are times when the night seems colder,
And there are times when the day seems lost.
Times when I feel the world's lost meaning
And times when I just can't feel at all

Then I remember the tenderness of your smile,
And hope that I'd find the twinkle in your eyes
I remember those dreams of sweet memories
And the wishes that followed your wonderful scent

I remember the many kisses I blew to the wind,
Praying that they'd soon reach your tender lips.
I remember the love letter I burnt with hope,
That the words would somehow find their way to you

But most of all, I recall the kindness of your heart,
The unfading warmth of your honest touch.
You make me believe God really does exist
And that he especially fashioned you as my Eve.

Awww, Thats sweet. I like that, well done! :flowersmile:

Gods, you never told me you wrote poetry! These are seriously fantastic, they rhyme, they're deep, and are much better than mine. Curses.

Light of Retreat

The mind is weak, the soul is wounded
The heart stays still, sorely penetrated
Clasp my pale hands, bathed in gloom
Pain unspeakable, pain of loss

Crouched beneath the dark of the night
Wandering, waiting, swept by dust
Silenced with gloom, the tongue in paralysis
Eyes of grief, hidden upon frozen stone

Tears in anguish, tears of snow
These winter cries, heaven knows
Cursed by time, lied through fate
Woe the betrayal, woe my defeat

Hear my cry; heed its song
The tune, I pray to you, all along
Be my light, shine like the morning star
Be the gate of ceased agony, the gate of my retreat.

It's a bit hard to understand, but I wrote when I was depressed because someone close betrayed me.

Awww...

The Second I Close My Eyes: Awwwwwww.....it's really sweet, and kinda...sad...?

Light Of Retreat: Wow, this one is sad. And yes, it is a tad bit hard to understand.

Beautiful. Your works are original. Love them. Waiting for more :flowersmile:

They seriously are fantastic!

This one's about family.

Reach Me

Father, do you hear me--
Hear my silent cries
As one might hear a thornbird
Sing before it dies

Mother, can you find me?
Find my wand'ring soul?
I'm alone and here I hunger
To be part and be made whole

Sister, can you reach me?
This void is vast and cold
Can you see past my darkness?
Grasp and then take hold?

I know that I'm not perfect
So I hide behind my walls
Please breach through my security
Reach out and hear my calls

I only want your prescence
I only want you near
Mom, I hear you calling
But you're there and not right here

Please, dad, won't you try harder
To understand my straying ways?
Your shouts just push me farther
Till I'll hate you all my days

And sister, I can feel you
Right here just by my side
But the cell is wide and iron bars
Cast shadows to which I hide

Know that I want freedom
From these shackles and from these chains
Know that there's no pleasure
To be gained, and know my pains

It's kinda sad...

OOOOooo, there's more already!

Just WOW. Iam at a loss for words, really.

I really enjoy commenting on your work!!! More Please!!

Your wish is my command! :hail: This will be my last one for today though. It's also a bit hard to understand.

Snow

Autumn leaves now are dead,
Gone from where they played.
Sheets of white lie asleep,
Taking true what they keep.

Blemished over wintry rime,
Unable to stir in time.
There she is, alive within
Dull yet awake only in kin.

Her face, it plagues quiet,
Lost, burdened with regret.
Distant, forelorn and still,
Caught in the sudden chill.

Her eyes, eternally undone,
Paused for an image of sun
It sears the blank ceiling,
And sees seraphs take wing.

Her lips, ruby, now pallid,
Without warmth oh so vivid.
Splintered by buried pleas,
Whilst lament murders glee.

Yet who is this dame I spy?
This who on the frosts lies?
Her name's one that's lost,
Finding a home in the frost.

This love will set ablaze,
And tally past winter days.
Here, her name I will know
It is she, for she is snow.

Good luck understanding it!

I did understand this. Beautiful work, Eric :flowersmile:
Wish I could write peoms like yours! each of them is beautiful in it's own way.

I bow down to you. :hail: Too bad it's the last for today :/

Thanks, Nikki! Anyone else have nice words? :ermsmile:

*taps fingers, waiting for someone to review*

I don't really like the one about snow, the descriptions were too cliche for my liking, but the other one was good!

Great work.

OMG ERIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I relate to the poem The second I close my eyes so much you don't even know.GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love them Eric,I truely do!!!

WOW!!! I love this one! All your new ones are GREAT, as are your old!

I'm not saying I can relate to it, 'cause I've noticed I don't really relate to anything, ... But, sincerely, your writing is really unique! I'll tell you this now, your poems..., I know that when I read them, I won't be disappointed. Your the person that I can count on to make me feel happy, I guess I could say, through your words. And, you make them rymhe, (can't spell that, oops). I know that everytime I'm going to read them, I'm going to be happy, and not once be like... "What the hell was that?!" ...be hanging in the air.... lol Anyways, what I mean, for sure is...



PAMS

Oh Dawn I wrote like 5 more poems since the last time you read mine and they have gotton really good.Please read them!!!

dont feel bad eric if thats your name angelwings nobody has read my poems either but i must say that your work is beautiful you should get them pulished i cant spell today but whatever i like them

ps you should come have a look see at my poetry

leah mae

your poems bring tears to my eyes. it sounds as if you speak of regular day life, and it is so beautiful. please post more soon really soon. PAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!BuMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aw, thanks lots for your reviews! I think I nearly blushed. I really haven't gotten that much praise before and for that. Umm...this next poem is...I can't really describe it. Just read it for yourself.

Wrinkled Hands

In a school, there was a class
Of twenty eight-year-olds
They were given a task to find
The most beautiful thing in the world

Every child did his assignment
Excited to face the class
Each explained his beautiful work
And a little boy went last

When he showed his little painting,
The boo's didn't seem to end
For what beauty can you find
In two pairs of wrinkled hands?

The teacher encouraged the little boy
To explain his work of art
With tears in his eyes, the boy recalled
The people in his heart

"These are my parents' hands
The hands they use to earn
These hands worked to send me here
So that I would learn

"These hands have guided me
When I was still a babe.
These hands showed me much
Of love, that will not fade.

"One late night, while I was asleep
A great fire broke out
Two strong arms carried me
While the others ran about.

"Then, another pair of hands
Shielded me from the heat
These four hands saved me
And were damaged for this feat.

"I know they seem so ordinary
And ugly they may be
But these wrinkled hands I painted
Are still beautiful to me."

When the little boy sat down
Silence filled the place
Then, the teacher started to clap,
Tears running down her face

For that day she saw much splendor
Much more than she had planned
But she found beauty beyond compare
In the painting of wrinkled hands.

Kind long, don't ya think?

i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Eric I hope you read mine too!

Cliche, Meandering? Well, I suppose perhaps sometimes, but the last one was really good! It may have been a used idea, but you gave a nice perspective of it- one question- how could an 8 year old paint wrinkled hands? It would be really hard, Lol.

You have some work here that shows great talent- keep it up! =)

PAMS

that last poem eric was beautiful it for some reason touch my heart and if you can do that then you are a great writer please keep writing and maybe one day i can write as good as you lol anyway sorry i havent relpyed in a while i got busy with work so blah leah mae

Verse

I stand today to hear you speak
But the words I expected to start
Became an unfeeling stare
That pierced right through my heart

I long to feel your warmth again
The gentle touch of your fingers
Would be more than enough
To form a smile on my lips

And as I write this verse
Tears slowly form, though I know it's wrong
For it is getting harder to put to writing
What has been hurting me for so long

I have been willing the ink to flow
And I have been willing my hand to write
For this sudden irrepressible urge
Is what I can no longer fight

And although this could be
One that can truly break me
I will continue this
Just for you to see

That although I may appear fine
Although I look as though I'm glad
My heart is bursting from the feelings I suppress
But to do this I know I should

It may sound really lame
But I don't really care
Because what I'm really after
Is for you to be aware

That despite the pain, I'm trying.
That all I want to tell you is what's true
That every crazy line in here means...
That there's no me without you.

It's been quite a while, hasn't it?

Is it too early to start whining that nobody's reviewing? :ermsmile: