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| Finished Poetry Finished poetry threads come here to rest and be remembered. |
05-19-2005, 02:21 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mississippi.
Posts: 1,280
| 'Life, Love, and Teardrops' Life, Love and Teardrops A collection of poems by: Jill (me) One More Day A star flies by
Grinning at me
As it falls to its death Its life is over
And now it calls
With its final breath "Make a wish" “Me?”
"Yes"
“One?”
"One" What could it possibly be...? I wish I was famous.
With my picture
On the back of my very own book
And my name
On the top of every list I wish I was rich
With not a care in the world
So I won't have to save
Only to spend I wish i was perfect
Blemishes bring pain
Pressure can bring us down
If only I could please the world I wish for a change
Life is so unfair
Too many people have to pay
For those who chose the wrong way I want so many things
Aren't I selfish? But really... I'd give it all up
Put it all on hold 'Cause self has no meaning
When you're alone and cold I wish I could see you smile
'Cause I know it's been awhile
You're being yanked around
It's bound to be bringing you down It could be better
If only you could confide In me. I wish i could touch your hand
To see if you still exist
And so I can hold onto something
More comforting than sand I wish i could hear your voice
And what it would mean to see you laugh!
Simply that
Would dry every tear ...
All I ask is for this one simple wish
To come true All I want
All I need
All I wish Is for one more day with you ***** And that is the first in my series of 10 poems (I'll keep adding of course)! I hope the format went through right--It won't keep the extra spaces...oh well *sigh* It was just for emphasis on certain lines... I really hope you like it! Reveiws, critasism, and suggestions are more than welcome!
*Removed background of the poem, considering, that *he* joined SS and my luck probably read it all -.- So yes, removing all of that now* :bnawtf: Jilly
Last edited by lexy91112; 04-15-2007 at 06:43 AM.
Reason: Uh-huh I'm a smarty pants
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05-21-2005, 06:13 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| Poe is my homeboy Firecrab
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 855
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Yay! More poetry *dances* can't wait for more
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bex.becky.becca
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05-21-2005, 09:40 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| Antipodean Opaleye
Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: leaving a trail of s
Posts: 9,624
Hogwarts RPG Name: Katie Minnson |
That was good, I like the concept of the falling star. Post more soon please.
__________________ Luke <3 Angel Pupness loves Angel mooore.Katie Minnson- Third Year - Hufflepuff |
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05-22-2005, 12:13 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mississippi.
Posts: 1,280
| I'm so glad you guys like it--I know this one is really, really short but sometimes that is the power in poetry. So either this poem is either powerful or it sucks XD You be the judge XP hidden smile i can still see that look from: you to: me it yelled: i hate you and whispered: i love you
Last edited by lexy91112; 05-22-2005 at 12:16 AM.
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05-22-2005, 01:02 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| Firecrab
Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: wishing i was somewhere else..
Posts: 995
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i love them! post more plz!!!!!!!!
*Danielle*
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05-22-2005, 07:58 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| Official -()- Seeker*lives in a zoo* Puffskein
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Up North
Posts: 1,533
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Wow, I loved that first poem, and I'm not much of a reader of poetry But I could really feel your agony.. Hope your boyfriend returns to you soon!! And.. PAMS!!
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05-22-2005, 08:07 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| Poe is my homeboy Firecrab
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 855
| Loved the 2nd as much as the 1st! It was so sweet *huggles it*
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bex.becky.becca
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05-23-2005, 01:12 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| Animal Lover Gnome
Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Washington, USA
Posts: 278
First Year |
wow! i normally dont like poetry at all, but yours is really good!!! ur awsum! |
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05-23-2005, 10:05 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mississippi.
Posts: 1,280
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*bows* XD Many thanks! I'm so glad you guys are enjoying it! Let's see what's next...oh gosh, this one's sorta...embarrising maybe? Yeah well, it's true. Isn't that sad?!?!?! I'm SO beyond hopeless. hrum...the first stanza needs help...ah well, any suggestions? XD Your Jacket There it is!
A jacket like yours
It’s hanging
With a million others
But they aren’t the same
Because I saw you first
I touch the sleeve
Inhale the memories
I choke
On your absence
Tears sting my eyes
And I try to hide them
It’s just a jacket. |
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05-23-2005, 10:10 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| Poe is my homeboy Firecrab
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 855
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Wow, what a powerful jacket! Lol, I liked this one too *has a jacket like that* something I can relate to
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bex.becky.becca
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05-24-2005, 10:26 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mississippi.
Posts: 1,280
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Urm, this one's rather plain and kinda sucks Ode to my Love although you’re gone
i still remember
odd little things
like the way you looked at me
that smile that was
mine
how we would chatter
and ramble
like squirrels in the park
or just soak up the silence
together
we found that inner
artist
and companionship too
i honestly don’t know
what I would have become
without you
Hrum, i wrote like 3 poems last night... |
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06-01-2005, 02:33 PM
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#12 (permalink)
| Horklump
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Pennsylvinia
Posts: 35
Hogwarts RPG Name: Kintanie May Leigh Third |
these poems are in a different style then i'm used to and take such simple things that we all take for granded and turn them upside down...i love the way u do that!!!
keep up the great work!
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06-01-2005, 03:07 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mississippi.
Posts: 1,280
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Wow, really thanks--that means alot to me! And just for that, i shall post another! This is probably one of my favorites...I remember one time i was crying, and for some reason it just hit me to write it down. Since then, i've used a vaguely similar use of the words in my FF and of course, it finally turned into this poem; for which i am grateful. So you writer's out there--write everything down, you never know what it can become! Life, Love and Teardrops
two tricklings escape the reservoir
in my eyes
they travel down
my frost-nipped cheeks
one
takes a wrong turn
and falls
off my nose
the other
travels safely
to my chin
where it is wiped
away
(argh, the away is supposed to be furth over--as if it was actually being wiped away--but SS won't let me >.<)
Last edited by lexy91112; 06-01-2005 at 03:34 PM.
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06-01-2005, 03:10 PM
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#14 (permalink)
| Official -()- Seeker*lives in a zoo* Puffskein
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Up North
Posts: 1,533
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Aaw, that was really, really beautiful! Such an unexpected end to a poem that seemed very tragic... great writing Lexy!
Hehe, what a coincidence, I was JUST looking through your poems when you posted |
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06-01-2005, 06:55 PM
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#15 (permalink)
| Horklump
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Pennsylvinia
Posts: 35
Hogwarts RPG Name: Kintanie May Leigh Third |
thank you so much!!!
i realy do love ur poems!!!
and i can truely feal like i'm there...like i'm the one crying!!!
u put so much emotion in to them!
great job!
(i just now submitted a new thred...and my first poem that i wrote is in ther...check it out some time!)
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06-01-2005, 08:35 PM
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#16 (permalink)
| Poe is my homeboy Firecrab
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 855
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I loved the newest ones . Lol, when I write its mostly sad, kinda like Poe's stuff ya know. Sometimes its lyrics though (lol I'm better at writing those then poems >.<) but those are mostly sad too.. But anyway, yeah, your newest ones were great! PAMS (lol).
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bex.becky.becca
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06-01-2005, 10:27 PM
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#17 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mississippi.
Posts: 1,280
| I'm so glad you guys like them! Maybe eventually i can gather up the courage to show them to my Dad--the REAL writer in the family. Any remote writing skills i have are from him....
Anyway, thanks for your support guys! this is really a great way for me to express myself and it helps.
Let's see what's up next...i should prolly redo the order and add mah new poems *opens Word*
Ok...these are getting a bit more personal >.< Meh, I guess it'll be ok...*prays he won't ever, ever read these*
Also, i'm trying to put these in an order that sort of tell a story--like Ralph Fletcher's "Room Enough for Love." You Would I want to make you sorry I want to make you pay Because I cry Day after day I want you to feel my hurt I want you to know my pain I want you to know You're driving me insane But i can't. Because I think it would hurt you To know you’re hurting me Because I think It's not your fault I think that if you could be There for me You would And if you could see Me again You would And if it could be just you and me Together It would So the hurt is mine The pain is my secret Because i would never hurt you Like you have me. FairyHr: I'd love to read your poems!--would ya mind giving me a link? I'm horribly lazy >.<
Last edited by lexy91112; 04-15-2007 at 06:45 AM.
Reason: *yawn*
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06-02-2005, 05:35 PM
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#18 (permalink)
| Horklump
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Pennsylvinia
Posts: 35
Hogwarts RPG Name: Kintanie May Leigh Third |
i think that u should be able to show your dad ur poems!
their great...and it would be a great way for your dad to know just what goes on inside ur head...if nothing elts...i know he'll love them (he's a dad...that's what he's suposta do!!!)
lol
and mamybe this way...the pain that u feal inside can be shared not only with the paper in which u wriet ur fealing on...but with ur own father!...the people here who read ur poems and comment on them...well that's all great and all...but no one can be there for you like family can!!!
-i love ur poem!
lol
(i almost forgot to say that!)
lol
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06-02-2005, 08:05 PM
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#19 (permalink)
| Official -()- Seeker*lives in a zoo* Puffskein
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Up North
Posts: 1,533
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It might not be your best poem, but it's still filled with emotion and beautifully written. I keep forgetting your age when I read your stuff, it's all so mature and painful. And written by someone with great talent, that's for sure!
Oh, have you showed your dad any of the other stories you've written? Cause maybe that's a better way to start.. Your poems are kind of revealing, you are really pouring your heart out in them, which is beautiful and they are fantastic to read, but you might not want to reveal your most inner thoughts to your father. I totally understand that.. but sereiously, don't be afraid to show him your poems because of your writing, because that is absolutely wonderful!
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06-03-2005, 07:02 PM
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#20 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mississippi.
Posts: 1,280
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*removing this*
Last edited by lexy91112; 04-15-2007 at 06:31 AM.
Reason: =]
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06-03-2005, 11:33 PM
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#21 (permalink)
| Poe is my homeboy Firecrab
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 855
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Oh gosh I'm so happy for you! Lol as much as I HATE my ex-boyfriend I would be soooo happy if he came back :'( I know that doesn't really relate but we were going out for almost four years and he sudden dropped it *shrugs*. But, now, he's going out with my ex-best friend I need a hug! LOL I hope to go see The Sisterhood today but I'm not sure if it's gunna happen ah well, if it doesn't I'll go this weekend . I can't wait to read some of your happier stuff! I'm fighting with my best friend (the one that moved to Wisconsin) and I don't think we'll be make up before she comes to GA on Wednesday so I could use a pick-me-up! But wish me luck! She can be really horrible to people when she's angry! *hides form her*
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bex.becky.becca
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06-06-2005, 10:02 PM
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#22 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mississippi.
Posts: 1,280
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*Haha removing this too*
Last edited by lexy91112; 04-15-2007 at 06:32 AM.
Reason: Bleh lamo
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06-06-2005, 10:32 PM
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#23 (permalink)
| Poe is my homeboy Firecrab
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 855
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Ahhh! I LOVE the new one! It's so cute! *huggles it* Hmm gives me a warm fuzzy feeling lol *hugs it again*.
__________________
bex.becky.becca
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06-07-2005, 05:48 AM
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#24 (permalink)
| Official -()- Seeker*lives in a zoo* Puffskein
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Up North
Posts: 1,533
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Aaw, that's sooo sweet! I'm so happy everything's worked out for you Lexy, and keeping the letter in your sock is probably one of the cutest things I've ever heard! Great writing!
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06-12-2005, 06:24 PM
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#25 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mississippi.
Posts: 1,280
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*Random chatter removed*
Er, i was a very interesting person a few years ago lol reading this has been hilarious to me because i hardly remember posting any of it. Oh yeah and for real though, thanks for the support! It really means alot to me considering i don't think a whole lot of these poems these days lol. They surely aren't my best. But yes yes thanks very much =] .... Even though ya'll will probably never read this and i'm not adding another post either for *fear* this will resurface! Haha but funny i think i just replaced the random chatter i just removed with.. more random chatter ^^ Not that far I skip through my memories Infinate smiles On my face Walk right by my sorrow In a happy, fast pace What are tears? I'm no hopeless case I know... It's been a year Since i've seen your face But i know now Time isn't there to waste As i gaze out my window And see a single star I know in my heart That you aren't that far.
~*~
Edit:
Ick that rhyming is so generic. But yes i'm gonna stop putting myself down now lol.
Last edited by lexy91112; 04-15-2007 at 06:51 AM.
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