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| Finished Poetry Finished poetry threads come here to rest and be remembered. |
11-14-2003, 12:14 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| Jobberknoll
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Hampshire U.k
Posts: 4,481
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Hi people. I dont often write stuff, but if I do, its deep emotion and about stuff that has affected me, so I am not sure how often I will have new stuff, it depends on how I am feeling. So here it goes: Sealed Fate
Once again you’ve stabbed me in the back,
Seems to me as if you’ve found the knack,
Why me? What for?
Or is it just that I have broken your law?
Go on try and throw another hit,
See if I could really give a s***,
Your view, your day,
Not for much longer will you have your say.
My life’s hell because of you,
Oh well, what’s new?
Ever thought about how I feel?
Don’t worry, your fates been sealed.
Do you have any idea how you make me feel?,
What you throw at me and how with it I deal,
F*** you, F*** you all,
I’ll be waiting to see you fall.
Don’t forget that you’ll be the one who fades away,
Whilst I’ll remain here for another day,
Give up, give in,
There’s no way you will win.
My life’s hell because of you,
Oh well, what’s new?
Ever thought about how I feel?
Don’t worry, your fates been sealed.
And I have another one: Thank you Het..
You always seem to answer my call,
Even though you can’t hear me,
Just before I stoop to my knees,
You always catch me before I fall.
When I am feeling low or down,
I mutter a few familiar words,
Or think of you and what you would do,
You have the ability to turn my world around.
You are my source of determination,
Inspiration, admiration and great appreciation,
So thanks Het, I would like to say,
Just for you mere existence.
People try and break you, Het,
At every chance they have,
But you have taught me so much,
“Thanks” I would say if we met.
Your name is wrapped around my arm,
H-E-T-F-I-E-L-D,
And with pride I wear it,
For no harm can come to me, as long as you are there.
You are my source of determination,
Inspiration, admiration and great appreciation,
So thanks Het, I would like to say,
Just for you mere existence.
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11-14-2003, 09:58 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| Jobberknoll
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Hampshire U.k
Posts: 4,481
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Comments of any type would be greatly appreciated.
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11-14-2003, 10:01 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| Streeler
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 208
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how cool, liked the first poem, amazing.
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11-14-2003, 10:01 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| *stalking you... and you* *and you*meana picassoPEE-O-NEE Mooncalf
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Hiding from you. *ga
Posts: 7,134
Hogwarts RPG Name: Morbidda Lucretia Morwenna Sabine Valencia DeValdemar LeDeaux T'Humperdink. |
Brilliant. Very original and actually makes sense. None of that soppy Sirius is dead and I weep stuff, and no swooning over the unswoonable actors in HP either (Dan, Emma etc)
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11-14-2003, 10:03 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| Jobberknoll
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Hampshire U.k
Posts: 4,481
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Thanks, I am half way through another one at the moment, but I dont know when it will be finished, but hopefully it will be quite soon. I can only seem to write if I pour my emotion into it and how I am feeling or feel about things at the time I write.
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11-14-2003, 10:18 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| Gnome
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 360
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I LOVED the first poem! It made me all emotional because I feel like I can kind of relate. I had an ex that was a real jerk and that poem was filled with things I wish I coould have said to him!
You're really talented and I hope we can see more of your poetry soon!
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11-14-2003, 10:23 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| Kappa
Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Australia
Posts: 14,806
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theyre very good
makes me sad
ur very talented
__________________ 50 |
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11-14-2003, 10:48 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| Jobberknoll
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Hampshire U.k
Posts: 4,481
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Yeah, the second one is personal especially for me, but I am glad you all like them and thanks for the complements. Work is being produced at the moment...
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11-14-2003, 11:35 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| Jobberknoll
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Hampshire U.k
Posts: 4,481
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Im not sure about this one, but I will post it anyway. Once again, comments are much apreciated. Live to win, dare to fail.
When the lies run through your veins,
What is there left to gain?
Deceit resides in your human soul,
Happy now you have reached you goal?
Frosted glass clouds your sight,
When will you wake up and see the light?
Before the ground beneath you has gone,
But its too late, what’s done is done.
Live to win, dare to fail,
If you want the truth, you must prevail,
Because lies and deceit wrap around the earth,
These need to be broken, to lift the curse.
What will you do when the earth is gone?
And you realise that there is nothing left to live on,
Who will you blame for the destruction under the sky?
Look in the mirror for it will never lie.
When the warning light is shown,
And the human race is down to the bone,
You succumb to the death that you created,
In the world that is full of hatred.
Live to win, dare to fail,
If you want the truth, you must prevail,
Because lies and deceit wrap around the earth,
These need to be broken, to lift the curse.
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11-15-2003, 09:50 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| Manticore
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: *Nom nom nom*
Posts: 43,198
Hogwarts RPG Name: Mercer Branxton Ravenclaw Seventh Year x7 x8
| Made of Awesome | Ern-la the Best-wa | TZ's Apogee
fawkes! thanks for giving me the link to your work. I really enjoyed it... when I was in hs, i worked on a literary magazine, and this is so honest and well-written that you definitely would have been published.
can't wait to see more!
__________________ ★ Dawn ★
Awakening ★ Spiritual ★ Hopeful ★ Honest |
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11-15-2003, 09:53 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,396
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brill fawks bravo, its really good, i no how u feel with some of it
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11-15-2003, 09:57 PM
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#12 (permalink)
| Dugbog
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 113
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I really really like the first poem! Although I don't think the moderators are gonna like it because of the whole cursing thing (even though you substitued astericks) because its against SS rules. But other than that I think that your wording was phenominal! You have great talent and I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!
Keep it up! :flowersmile: :sorcerer:
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11-15-2003, 09:59 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| Jobberknoll
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Hampshire U.k
Posts: 4,481
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I know about the cursing, but it fitted in and it is how I feel at the moment about it ( the topic of the words). If they want to warn me, then go ahead.
Thanks all for the complements. I do have more work, but I have got a bit of a block at the moment. I have a lot of starters, I just need to match them up with the endings.
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11-15-2003, 10:03 PM
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#14 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,396
| Quote: Originally posted by Fawkes2000@Nov 15 2003, 03:59 PM
Thanks all for the complements. u deserve the credit m8 can u put more on soon?
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11-15-2003, 10:04 PM
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#15 (permalink)
| Jobberknoll
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Hampshire U.k
Posts: 4,481
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I will try. I have about 6 starters, but I need to find the endings. I have one ish, but its not as long.
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11-15-2003, 10:06 PM
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#16 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,396
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i dnt care if it 2 lines long just post it, its gd stuff
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11-15-2003, 10:11 PM
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#17 (permalink)
| Jobberknoll
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Hampshire U.k
Posts: 4,481
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Im not sure if its finished, but this is what I have got so far. Its not as long as the others, but it cant be. Taken
Hoping that the pain subsides
Why were you chosen to be brushed aside?
Taken away for no need
Then people wonder why I don’t believe
You were put through so much pain
The grip it had would always stain
But the grasp was too strong to break
Even now, I continue to ache.
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11-15-2003, 10:13 PM
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#18 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,396
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awww thats really good 2 |
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11-15-2003, 10:14 PM
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#19 (permalink)
| Jobberknoll
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Hampshire U.k
Posts: 4,481
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Its about my Grandad. He died of lung cancer 3 and a half years ago.
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11-15-2003, 10:16 PM
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#20 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,396
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aww sorry 2 hear that
:flowersmile:
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11-16-2003, 11:39 AM
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#21 (permalink)
| Crup
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 17,077
Hogwarts RPG Name: Marcella Riddle Graduated | Kaplinski Rival Sorting Hat Machine Quote: Originally posted by Fawkes2000@Nov 14 2003, 08:38 AM Comments of any type would be greatly appreciated. Do you actually know Hetfield. 'Cos it sounds like you're in love with him or something.
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11-16-2003, 11:39 AM
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#22 (permalink)
| Crup
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 17,077
Hogwarts RPG Name: Marcella Riddle Graduated | Kaplinski Rival Sorting Hat Machine Quote: Originally posted by Fawkes2000@Nov 15 2003, 08:51 PM Im not sure if its finished, but this is what I have got so far. Its not as long as the others, but it cant be. Taken
Hoping that the pain subsides
Why were you chosen to be brushed aside?
Taken away for no need
Then people wonder why I don’t believe
You were put through so much pain
The grip it had would always stain
But the grasp was too strong to break
Even now, I continue to ache. You nearly made me cry with this one, em, it's so sweet!
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11-16-2003, 12:37 PM
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#23 (permalink)
| Gnome
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 360
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Your poems make me misty eyed.
So sad!
But I will keep reading because I think they are very good!
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11-16-2003, 12:50 PM
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#24 (permalink)
| Jobberknoll
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Hampshire U.k
Posts: 4,481
| Quote: Originally posted by Marcella_Riddle+Nov 16 2003, 10:19 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Marcella_Riddle @ Nov 16 2003, 10:19 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Fawkes2000@Nov 14 2003, 08:38 AM Comments of any type would be greatly appreciated. Do you actually know Hetfield. 'Cos it sounds like you're in love with him or something. [/b][/quote]
No i am not in love with him. I just have nothing except respect and admiration towards him. He has changed my world for the better.
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11-16-2003, 12:50 PM
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#25 (permalink)
| Crup
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 17,077
Hogwarts RPG Name: Marcella Riddle Graduated | Kaplinski Rival Sorting Hat Machine In other words you realsied you cant have him.
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