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| | Finished Poetry Finished poetry threads come here to rest and be remembered. | 
02-07-2004, 05:47 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Puffskein
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Here.
Posts: 2,160
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Please tell me what you think fo them, the first few seem to rhyme - though it's not always how i do things... I Hate Loving You
I hate loving you,
We can never be,
Our separate worlds,
Just you and me...
I feel so lonely,
When you're not around,
I feel like nothing,
Not making a sound…
Why do you hate me?
Why do I care?
Is this some game?
This just isn’t fair...
I hate loving you,
We can never be,
Our separate worlds,
Just you and me… Every Time
Every time I think of you,
I always start to cry;
Every time you say those things,
Like ‘Luv You’ and ‘Goodbye’.
Those words mean well but I can’t stand,
The way you let it past;
The way you left it like it is,
I don’t think it will last.
I think it’s true what you had said,
The way you cursed my name;
A hole right through my aching soul,
I just can’t bear the pain.
Every time you say ‘Goodbye’,
Burns right through to my heart;
Every time you let it go,
It makes me fall apart.
I wish things were the way it was,
My life was just so good;
The way we held each other’s hands,
We kissed, and then we stood.
Dreamt of you since time we met,
The day went by so fast;
No matter what I think of you,
I wished that day would last… Is it True?
I feel so ashamed,
What am I to do?
There’s nothing to live for,
‘Cause I’m not with you.
You said you loved,
But now you hate,
Is it really that hard,
Just don’t be too late.
Please don’t hate me,
I can’t live without you,
Can you believe that?
What I say is true.
I told you before,
But you wouldn’t listen,
I rip myself apart,
My blood is colored crimson.
Every time I see you,
I feel so blue,
There's only one explanation,
And that’s, I Love You.
I felt so scared,
When you’re not in my sight,
What if something happened?
You gave me a fright.
Is it true that I love you?
Is it true that I care?
If it's so I’ll tell you,
But inside you feel bare.
I feel so ashamed,
What am I to do?
There’s nothing to live for,
‘Cause I’m not with you.
Yes. I know - the poems may seem corny! Oh whatever... just tell me what you think. 
-Felicia
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02-08-2004, 08:50 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Nogtail
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: garden state
Posts: 4,892
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They are so not corny! I really like I hate loving you and Is It True. :flowersmile:
__________________
every me & every you
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02-11-2004, 11:22 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Doxy
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Canada
Posts: 6,400
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REALLY GOOD | |
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02-20-2004, 09:04 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Puffskein
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Here.
Posts: 2,160
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Thankyou! What else do other's think then?
I have one more: Only If
Love is pure, and gentle if,
Those things you say mean well,
But all those very simple gifts,
Mean nothing – Can’t you tell?
I want much more than gold and such,
But you don’t understand,
I feel as though love is too much,
And you don’t give a damn.
It was our love that brought us near,
But nothing is the same,
I feel as though I am in fear,
For this is just a game.
What do you all think of that one then?
-Felicia | |
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02-20-2004, 09:08 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Snidget
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,561
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I like your poem Only If. It's beautiful! | |
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02-20-2004, 09:15 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Puffskein
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Here.
Posts: 2,160
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Awww thanks. I might have one or two more...I jsut want to see what others think. Anything i should improve on? ANYTHING AT ALL!? There must be SOMETHING...right? 
-Felicia
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02-20-2004, 04:02 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Doxy
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Canada
Posts: 6,400
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Really, Really good Felicia!
Keep at it  | |
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02-26-2004, 08:01 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Puffskein
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Here.
Posts: 2,160
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i have one more...
BLACK
Today the tears spill,
The blood drips,
The pain…gone.
No more.
There is nothing else,
There is no love,
No hate,
No more problems.
Nothing stands in my way,
Nothing at all,
Not a soul,
Except my own.
It’s within me,
I need to set it free,
The dagger through my heart,
And I bleed.
Blood drips down,
Tears from my eyes,
The pain leaving me,
My soul, flying away.
The skies are screaming,
The thunders, bellowing,
The winds whispering,
I hear nothing.
Not a sound,
Not a word,
Nothing is said,
Or heard.
The darkness,
No light,
It’s enveloping me,
I’m gone.
-
For it’s Black.
The colour of my blood,
The colour of my thoughts,
The colour of my very soul...
So what do you think?
-Felicia
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02-27-2004, 06:21 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Doxy
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Canada
Posts: 6,400
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:sorcerer: good!
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02-29-2004, 11:31 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Fire Slug
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 159
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they're really good i like them
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03-03-2004, 08:17 AM
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#11 (permalink)
| | Puffskein
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Here.
Posts: 2,160
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^^^ thank you so much!
Does anyone else read my poems? if you do, PLEASE reply...i want to know who actually likes these! 
-Felicia
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03-05-2004, 09:56 AM
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#12 (permalink)
| | Abraxan
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Perth, AU (GMT +8)
Posts: 25,070
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Jasper Hart
First Year
  x10  x10
| ½ EagleBrain ♥ Creeperdoodle ♥ Raven Dor ♥ Berry ♥ ½ Team House Elf
These are fantastic,
you really put a lot of emotion into them and its so beautiful.
I wish I could write like you :flowersmile:
PAMS & BUMPS.
__________________  | |
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04-01-2004, 02:13 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| | Puffskein
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Here.
Posts: 2,160
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The End
I’m the edge,
The journey before life,
The path before death,
The middle of all things.
I see no light,
See no darkness,
See nothing but limbo,
Just a blur of emptiness.
I hear no noise,
There’s only silence,
There’s no commotion,
A vague description of this place.
It’s a void space,
Filled by naught,
Not even air,
Not even a breath.
This is the world,
The way I see it,
The darkness takes over,
All the things that once was here.
There’s nonentity,
Nothing worth seeing,
Nothing worth hearing,
Nothing worth living for.
What do you think?
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04-04-2004, 04:21 AM
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#14 (permalink)
| | Abraxan
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Perth, AU (GMT +8)
Posts: 25,070
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Jasper Hart
First Year
x10 x10
| ½ EagleBrain ♥ Creeperdoodle ♥ Raven Dor ♥ Berry ♥ ½ Team House Elf
I think its fantastic you really inspire me. :rose:
please post more soon.
__________________ | |
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