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| | Finished Poetry Finished poetry threads come here to rest and be remembered. | 
11-15-2003, 10:15 PM
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#26 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: At your neck!
Posts: 489
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What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
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11-17-2003, 05:28 PM
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#27 (permalink)
| | Dugbog
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 113
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Quote: Originally posted by Alyonna@Sep 8 2003, 02:10 PM
all right here it is: the D/G poem (third person, but Ginny POV - does that make sense?). hope you like it!
Living in a world
Living on the edge
She took one step too far
One risk too much
Before she knew what happened
Her world fell apart
Her love abandoned her
Her heart was an empty shell
Every time he walked by
She couldn't help but stare
His eyes were blue as ever
Full of happiness and grace
How could he go on like that?
She'd think to herself
It's like he's forgotten
What we had together
She'd watch him from a distance
While he flirted with every girl he saw
And every time she saw him
Her heart wept inside
After awhile she gave up
She stopped trying to live
She couldn't hold on anymore
Hope left her stranded
Every time he looked into her eyes
She hoped he'd see the hurt
But he never noticed
And her days got worse
No one was there to help her
No one cared for a wounded woman
They told her to stop sulking
And be herself again
When living became too unbearable
She changed her appearance
Her freckled face became pale
And her sunset red hair came to match her mood
She walked around the halls
Like a shadow dressed in black
No one noticed her anymore
She needed a way to escape
And so it began
Every night, she'd sit in bed
Crying, weeping for him
Until she could cry no more
That's when she'd take the knife
Out from under the pillow
And carve his name
Onto her legs - over and over
She'd watch the blood
Trickle down her legs
And stain the already
Blood-red sheets
And then she'd tuck into bed
Crying, weeping for him
And every night, she whispered his name
Into the darkness, hoping he'd hear...
"Draco, Draco, Draco..." YAY Alonya! I love every single piece of writing you put out into this void we call a world. You should come checkout my poetry, I've got some stuff you'd like I think. Keep writing!
Crowd screams *MORE, GIVE US MORE!* :sorcerer:  | |
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11-17-2003, 09:10 PM
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#28 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: At your neck!
Posts: 489
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What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
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11-18-2003, 09:50 PM
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#29 (permalink)
| | Dugbog
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 113
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:flowersmile: Definatley!!!! That poem was great by the way! But yeah I definatley think that you could do the whole book thing. I'm sure there are lots of publishers that would be interested in doing it.
In the meantime, keep working! :scarejulie:
Keep readin mine and I'll read yours too okay?! :sorcerer:
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11-19-2003, 01:02 AM
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#30 (permalink)
| | Dugbog
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 113
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I wrote a few more poems you should check'm out. But you, shame shame you need to write more! I'm addicted to your stuff. Keep writing!!!!! :busy:
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11-20-2003, 12:05 AM
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#31 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: At your neck!
Posts: 489
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What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
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11-20-2003, 12:14 AM
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#32 (permalink)
| | Firecrab
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 941
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FWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
What does Fwa mean? I have no clue - but the poem was cool!
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11-20-2003, 12:36 AM
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#33 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: At your neck!
Posts: 489
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What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
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11-20-2003, 09:28 PM
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#34 (permalink)
| | Dugbog
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 113
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I'm definatley liking the whole save the earth concept there Alyonna. What a great poet you are!!!!!!! I know you like reading my stuff, but I love reading yours....it's so great! Keep on writing girl! :sorcerer:
*PotterPoet claps* :wine: :rose:
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11-22-2003, 12:10 AM
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#35 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: At your neck!
Posts: 489
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What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
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11-22-2003, 08:21 AM
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#36 (permalink)
| | Dugbog
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 113
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Quote: Originally posted by Alyonna@Nov 21 2003, 05:50 PM
Why thank you, but you got one think wrong - i dont like reading your stuff i love reading it. so ha! :flowersmile: <--- thats for you! more coming soon, when i find it - and the time. Hee hee you're so silly!  Well, I think then that we can both agree that we love each of our poems. hee hee. I just wrote some new stuff...check it out when ya can. In the meantime though keep writing as fast as you can.....lol. Keep it up! :wub:
Take this!: :flowersmile: :flowersmile: :flowersmile: :flowersmile: :flowersmile: :flowersmile: :flowersmile: :flowersmile: :flowersmile: :flowersmile:
HA! :sorcerer:
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11-25-2003, 01:41 AM
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#37 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: At your neck!
Posts: 489
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What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
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11-25-2003, 01:43 AM
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#38 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: At your neck!
Posts: 489
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What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
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11-25-2003, 01:44 AM
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#39 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: At your neck!
Posts: 489
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What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
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11-25-2003, 01:46 AM
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#40 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: At your neck!
Posts: 489
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What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
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11-25-2003, 01:50 AM
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#41 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: At your neck!
Posts: 489
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What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
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11-25-2003, 02:11 AM
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#42 (permalink)
| | Firecrab
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 941
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Hardy har har..........SOMEBODY'S on a poem craze!!! Love em, love em, love em all! Now only if SOMEONE would read my story.................*coughcough* lol
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11-30-2003, 02:32 AM
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#43 (permalink)
| | Dugbog
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 113
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Quote: Originally posted by Alyonna@Nov 24 2003, 07:26 PM
Poets come and go but
Under it all, each leaves a message
That people must listen to and learn Hey Girl! This is so true ( see above quote)! I swear you are something else Alyonna! You put words into poetry and make them work so delicately its phenominal! I love it...keep writing!
:sorcerer:
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12-01-2003, 02:51 AM
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#44 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: neverland
Posts: 494
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great poetry i love it
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12-02-2003, 10:17 PM
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#45 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: At your neck!
Posts: 489
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__________________
What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
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12-03-2003, 06:06 AM
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#46 (permalink)
| | Dugbog
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 113
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I love it!!!!! Sounds great! I definately love the whole "feelings within" thing. I love trying to describe the body's innermost desires and wants. Keep'm coming there Alyonna! We want more, give us more!!!!!!! :flowersmile: :flowersmile: :flowersmile:
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12-03-2003, 10:16 PM
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#47 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: At your neck!
Posts: 489
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...
__________________
What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
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12-03-2003, 10:18 PM
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#48 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: At your neck!
Posts: 489
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12-04-2003, 02:59 AM
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#49 (permalink)
| | Fire Slug
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 164
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I love them all... really, each one is unique, it's wonderful. I can tell that you can really feel what you're writing about, because each one is so unique, there's no formula.
But my favorite, was actually your first. The blood on the chest was brilliant, and it had such a wide, sweeping message, it was amazing. Keep writing, it's beautiful.
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12-04-2003, 03:18 AM
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#50 (permalink)
| | Dugbog
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 113
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I do love your first piece, but I must say that I'm definatley falling for this last one that you wrote! It's blissfully mindful, and definatley makes ya think! Keep it up!!!!!! :sorcerer:
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