Scandalous. Absolutely scandalous. Adriano Toussaint.

We never have parties like that at the Daily Prophet.

TEGZ. Hehe. I love LOVE the appearance of Mr. Toussaint, who was as... spectacularly verbose as always. Or you know, whatever the opposite was. A complete delight. Adri is Daniel Cleaver.

Jane is growing on me, but I'm afraid we might be losing the fogies soon as she moves on to the DP. Reunion episodes? Yes?

What is this... guest writer?

ANYWAY. You know I enjoyed it, 'cause I like whatever you write. Jane is so fun to read, and you're fun to stalk.

*gets all amused*

Interesting to see how you went from 'what would Adri say in this situation...' and managed to get this as a result. I like it. Obviously.

We never have parties, period, at the Prophet, Roro dearest.

I was behind two installments but I am all caught up and loving every bit of soft Baby Jane. *sounds like a perv* I mean. I love her I do. I dislike Mr. Cole but he is amusing and now I'm kind of saddened there won't be another lecherous old man to laugh at.

Maybe we can find him a replacement at the Prophet.

Adriano Toussaint. Obviously the one Toussaint that never learned how to behave in public.

I love this so much, Tegz. Really.

Hmm. hehe You know I read... like forever ago, but I read again. HAh. I love what a complete mess she is.



Besides the cakey crumbs.... this was my favorite bit. Vivid image, you know? And you can SEE her face (or I can..) noticing that... haha. MMMm. Like it.


There are "people" in my head that make Adri comments difficult, BUT WHERE did he take her? HMMMMM? Eeeek. I worry about her. haha LOVE IT EGGZ.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I'm lazy? On the bright side, I have TWO more updates to post after this next one, so thats a bonus for anyone still reading!

Teehee!

I <3 you all.

Also? Guest Writer #1 makes an appearance

Made by Ama

December 6th 2069

New jobs: 1.
Polka dots: Numerous
Current Article: Does the Wand Make the Wizard? An Exposay On Enchanted Doors and Curtains and the Great Conspiracy of Keeping a Witch Out In The Cold


Jane Holland might look half-way decent in polka dots, but Jane Holland in a Toga is a different story. Jane Holland out of a Toga suffers from serious NHO.

Self reminds self to install blinds at self’s apartment rather than risk the future wrath of draperies.



Jane awoke and since she was only wearing polka dots, she was a little chilly. She tugged the bedcovers around her neck and peered around in the near darkness. Where was Adri? She sat up and fashioned a toga out of the top sheet and padded out into the sitting room of the hotel suite in bare feet. She felt a little out of place in a fancy hotel like this, but it was the usual sort of place she came with Adriano and it did kind of make her feel special since he always seemed to splurge so much on her whenever he saw her. Jane was young and naïve enough to take that as a pretty big sign of affection on his part. He wouldn’t bother making such an effort if he didn’t like her after all, right?

The heavy drapes were closed over what could only be the window and Jane, suddenly feeling a need to be reminded of the outside world, darted over to pull the curtains back. She let out a small cry of surprise when they pulled back at the lightest touch, though the fact that the curtains were clearly enchanted was forgotten when she saw the balcony and the view. She opened the glass doors and stepped outside into the wind. It was freezing but in an invigorating sort of way and Jane went right to the rail and spread her arms out with a strange sense of reckless abandon that was fueled by polka dots, a new job and spending the night in the company of one Adriano Toussaint.

A sudden gust of wind decided to conspire against her, stealing away her makeshift toga in one chilly breath. After watching the sheet billow away on the wind to catch and wrap around a lamppost all the way down at ground level, Jane squawked and whirled on one foot, darting to the door. She attempted to step through and then to her surprise, the enchanted curtains slowly pulled themselves closed as if it had been their wicked plan all along. Jane gaped at the curtains, tried to push through them and was pushed back, bouncing off of the heavy velvet which had clearly been charmed as a deterrent for unwanted guests. She was wanted though! She was! She even wore bloody polka dots for the bloody man that wanted her!

The curtain twitched and Jane thought maybe she’d be able to get inside, but the doors shut violently, the glass shaking in the frame. Jane swore, though the string of expletives she uttered, were all stolen away on the wind. Jane kicked the glass doors and then hopped around a bit, holding her foot. Stupid door. It couldn’t have locked, surely? She couldn’t seriously be trapped out here, at least fourteen stories up, wearing only polka dot underwear? This was cruel! And it was absolutely freezing out here! So cold that if there were anyone out here with her, they’d be at risk of having their eye poked out!

Her teeth chattered and Jane looked around. The balcony was big enough that it had a little table and a couple of chairs to one side and after a few seconds of trying to figure where the wind was coming from, Jane tipped the table over and angled into the wind. Then she huddled down behind it, to one side of the door in order to shelter from the worst of it. Ughhh, she was going to die out here, she soooo totally was! They’d find her in the morning and she’d be a polka dotted popsicle! If only she were wearing her favourite fluffy pajamas instead, stupid Adriano Toussaint and his brilliant hair and convincing ways.


Okay so Adri had admittedly got distracted, but how was it his fault? There were just women everywhere and so many of them were happily throwing themselves at him and he really only had so many spare body parts. He’d ended up writing his address and different dates on a stack of napkins and handed those out in lieu of what the muggle women kept asking for. A business card? He made a mental note to get himself one of those with his floo details on it and maybe one of these cellular phone things to contact the muggle girls with, if he could be bothered figuring out how to use one.

He’d left Jane in their suite and wandered out into the corridor shirtless, because he was classy like that, he’d wandered down to the nearest kitchen and appropriated a few bottles of wine, not too many, only as many as he could carry. He couldn’t have been gone more than an hour when he headed back to their suite, only one bottle left but it was expensive and he was so sure Janey would be impressed enough to do interesting things.

Adri wandered into the main part of the suite and glanced around. Mmm. She must still be asleep. Heh. He was hardly surprised. He went into the bedroom and turned on the light only to see there was no Jane Holland at all. Her clothes were still there in a pile on the floor by the wardrobe and her wand was on the bedside table…

Bathroom then? Adri nudged the bathroom door open but it appeared she hadn’t even been in the bathroom aside from when they’d both been in there the night before.

You know.

Brushing their teeth.

Back into the main room he popped the cork on the bottle of wine, took a long sip and placed the bottle to one side. Odd. Very odd. Was Miss Holland wandering around the hotel in her underwear? Adri just had to check and see if he’d missed something and after expending far too much effort leaning against the doorframe and sparing a cursory glance about the bedroom he did notice something else. There was a sheet missing.

Mmmkay then.

He found a semi-clean shirt and slid it on, making a half-effort to do up the buttons. She’d turn up sooner or later, he was sure of that. He was still here after all. But for now, room service. Since they were in a wizarding suite, he padded over to the fireplace, activated the floo and stuck his head in the flame to make his order.

The usual.

Adriano threw himself on the couch , close enough that the wine bottle was in reach and waited for Janey or the room service, whichever showed up first.

He wasn't particularly fussed either way.



Thank you to Conner, my 1st guest writer!

Oh hello surprise post that I did not expect to see surface until after your... kazillion word thing.

I wouldn't go so far as to say guest writer, more like... glorified RPer. I'm just reacting to your awesome, as always.



Polka dots. Heh.

*FACEPALM*

Love that she has a little table shield in her polka dotted number there. I mean, I'm kind of cringing because she's a disaster, but so very lovable. Sigh. So lovable.

... and Adri. Business cards? Really? Really?

Hehe. I love it, Eggz. I laughed again during the second read, and I am really quite looking forward to her rescue. You're brilliant, as usual.

Soooooo Imma make a post. Its about time XD

I'll make another.... soonish too. Before the new year even!

Made by Ama

December 6th 2069

New jobs: 1.
Polka dots goosebumps: Numerous
Current Article: Does the Wand Make the Wizard? An Exposay On Enchanted Doors and Curtains and the Great Conspiracy of Keeping a Witch Out In The Cold

Jane Holland has recently learned what it feels like to turn into a human popsicle.
Jane Holland is glad that self is not tabloid fodder despite secret illicit relationship with HQP. Self reminds self to keep secret illicit relationship secret.
Jane Holland thinks HQP might just be sweeter than everyone thinks.



Jane had goosebumps on her goosebumps. Her flesh was still red from the cut of the wind, though not yet blue from the bite of the cold. The table shield helped but Jane knew there was only so much protection it could offer. She shuffled around, the small gaps between the wood beneath her pressed against the skin of her legs leaving lines temporarily etched in her skin, new ones criss crossing old as she attempted to find a comfortable way to sit.
It was impossible.

To be comfortable she’d have to allow herself to be exposed to the biting wind and to shelter behind the table she had to cramp herself up.
Impossible.

She would be saved if only she had her wand on her. Maybe there was something in the way Adri constantly wore a holster even if that was sometimes all he wore. Hmmm, maybe she could summon her wand? Jane tried to picture where she’d left it and had to retrace her steps from the moment she and Adriano had first arrived at the hotel.

Okay let me think.

She’d been distracted and enthralled almost immediately. The suite was excessive in both size and luxury. Jane’s wand had been in her handbag… right?

And… she’d left her handbag on the couch! Yes! That was close enough for her to summon, right? She wasn’t exactly an expert at charms. She usually did everything the muggle way. Jane lifted her head and stared at the closed doors, the wind instantly catching her hair and whipping it about, her curls becoming even more unruly.

The couch wasn’t too far away. She ducked behind her table shield again and concentrated as hard as she could on where she thought her handbag was.

“Accio Handbag!”

It was impossible to tell if anything had happened and it wasn’t like her wand could suddenly go through solid objects like glass doors or uncooperative drapery.

“Accio!”

Jane tried again just for the sake of it, her voice muffled by the table when it wasn’t stolen by the wind. The wind was all she could hear.
“AccioAccioAccioAccio!”


At first Adri thought the noise was a knock at the door. It took him a few moments to process that he’d just seen a hand bag fly past his head and the thumping sound was the dull kind that came from fabric on fabric rather than the sharp rap of a knock on the door. That was odd enough, but on its own it wasn’t enough to make Adri react. It was when the hand bag flopped to the ground and jumped up again, smacking at the curtains some more.

How. Very. Very. Strange.

Now, why would a hand bag, Janey’s hand bag no less, be…. Trying to get outside? A strange sneaking suspicion hit Adri and with some effort, he dragged himself up off the couch and sauntered lazily over to the velvet curtains. Hmm. He tugged them open and blinked slowly at the sight before him.

Oh how interesting.

She was still wearing polka dots.



Jane stared up at the door as the curtains suddenly sprung open, taking a moment to appreciate all the pretty of Adri's hair and general appearance as he frowned down at her in astonishment. Or at least what passed for astonishment where he was concerned since it was notoriously difficult to ruffle his feathers.

He'd probably look really good in feathers.

With one hand still gripping her table shield, Jane waved at him, a sheepish grin on her face which was partly embarassment and partly a grimace from the cold. She noticed that her handbag was on the carpet behind him and felt at least slightly vindicated. Not bad wandless summoning for someone who pretty much sucked at charm work.

Adri opened the door and Jane found herself too frozen to unfurl herself to get up and race inside. After only a moment of apparently waiting for her to do exactly that, Adriano let out a long suffering sigh and bent to scoop her up. It never ceased to amaze her how effortlessly he managed such things. She certainly wasn't the sort of petite stick insect he was usually known to keep company of.

Ohhhh sweet bliss. It felt sooo good to get inside. Adri deposited her on the couch and shut the door again.

The curtains once again shut themselves.

"I suppose you want to know how I..." Jane's arm was warmed up just enough that she could wave it in the direction of the balcony. Adri just stared at her in that disinterested way. She knew he wanted to know though, he just tended to avoid the over eager look.

She explained in earnest how events had transpired and in the case of the draperies, conspired to trapping her outside.

In her underwear.

To his credit Adri did not laugh at her, though he was smirking at her in that annoying, gorgeously infuriating way. It was a slow realisation for Janey to figure out that his smirk was because she was still in her underwear.

"The part I don't get... is why you felt the need to summon your handbag." Adri asked after Jane had explained everything as exhaustively as she knew how.

"Oh, well my wand is in there, see? I didn't really think it through I guess? But I just figured it was worth a..."

Adri interrupted without even speaking, his raised eyebrow enough to cause Jane to trail off and ask a question.

"...?"

Adriano dropped into the nearest armchair, one leg thrown casually over the overstuffed arm of the chair.

"Actually Janey, your wand is on the bedside table. Just... so you know. For later. Or... whatever."

Urgh.

Mortified on sooo many levels, Jane made faces at him.

"Granted, if you hadn't... done your little summoning trick, I'd not have known you were out there." He was standing up again and Jane felt a little better for him having pointed that out. Thats right, she'd shown how much of a quick thinker she was! Jane Holland was a lady who could improvise!

"I should have a hot shower to warm up and then... put some clothes on." She suggested quietly, aware that her skin was still chilled right through to the bone. It felt like she was a walking corpse. Kind of like smoked chicken that had been kept in the refridgerator.

"Well now, you don't have to do all of those things, but I do agree that you should... warm up." Adri told her.

Jane eeped a little and escaped into the bathroom.

Polka dots were like...

like...

the pattern that made things happen! Even if sometimes those things didn't start out the way you had originally planned. She was going to do some more research on this new theory.

Maybe invest in some more polka dots too. For the sake of research of course.


Thank you to Conner, my 1st guest writer! first glorified RPer.

I knew there was a reason I popped on to SS first thing on Christmas morning...

I love the thumping handbag and the table shield and the polka dots and the... warming up bit.

But I especially loved this:

Awesome stuff Tegz. (and you too, Mr. guest-glorified-rp'r)

We WOULD look good in feathers.

This cracked me up hehe.. Non-verbal exchanges are the best.

I'm surprised more people don't read this, but thats probably okay since you know that you are great. I tend to read fanfiction under duress as you probably know, SSRPG stories are the closest I get. I think there are maybe four or five that I've read in their entirety ever. This would be one of those.

Haha. We (YES WE) completely agree with all said above. Feathers. Eyebrows. Don't read much FF, but I do read this one.

Could have sworn I already replied..........................

BUT ANYWAY. You know I loved it. You know, or should by now, know how very, very entertained I am by your Jane. Hehe
Hehe. This made me giggle. And is, funnily, how girls think sometimes? *admits to nothing* Look up leopard print while you're at it, Jane. Heh.

WHERE'S THE REST? Do it.

Touz is bossy, but I concur.

Do it.

Aww Jer, I'm glad you like it. Hopefully I can update more now and you know keep up with reading everyone elses stuff XD I suck in that sense XD

YOU usually read the ones that feature YOUR charries XD Teehee. Well this one does. Did. XD Maybe will some more *shifty*

Teehee. Thanks for reading and being so hardcore with commenting every time, I know you hate doing that too.

Leopard Print XD

Gosh you know my Jane would be SO threatened by Briony don't you? And its not just the nose in the thing thing. (We pretend we don't know about that).

Anyway, I love that you're reading.

Fine.

I will then XD

A super LONG one even.

It kind of has to be since the event was... hard to condense. Um. Love you.

*prepares post*

Made by Ama


January 2nd 2070

New Jobs: Still one

Reasons not to wear satin on a hot day: ∞

Article due: Fashion Tips for The Wolfish Wizard Three up, two across: Welcome to the Leaky Cauldron

Jane Holland is tragic. A hot mess in the sweaty, sticky way and not in the oh-so-sexy-someone-wants-to-volunteer-to-clean-her-up way. Self finds new co-workers unsettling. Particularly one with a sneer that must have been practiced in the mirror for a lifetime. At least the Daily Prophet offices feel like home.





The front door stuck.

Jane spent at least 3 minutes and 19 seconds tugging on the door frantically, her fingers grasping the handle and little straining grunts escaping her lips as she pulled on the door. Openopenopen! She let out a gasp as a man pushed the adjacent door open, feeling the need to bang her head against the door handle that her white knuckled grip was threatening to imprint permanently against her palm. Jane let out a deflated sort of sigh and unfurled her fingers. She’d worried for a minute that it was going to be a repeat of the hotel polka dot incident. Except that she was on the ground floor instead of a million floors up and she was wearing clothes. She was wearing clothes, right?! Heck!

While she was examining herself to be sure that this hadn’t turned into one of those terrible dreams like where you get up on stage to give a speech only to realise you’re naked, a woman in white whirled past her. Okay so whirled might not be the best word. Jane gaped after her. The woman sashayed along like she thought she owned the world, her white dress tugging across her hips like it was a second skin. She looked expensive and Jane instantly felt less. She looked down at herself. Okay, well maybe in some ways she was more but she definitely felt far less sure of herself. And she was still standing outside.

Blushing furiously, Jane pushed the door open and followed the woman inside, hyperventilating just slightly. First day on the job and things were going just swimmingly weren’t they? Oh Merlin, Oh Circe, Oh Cliodna; this was going to be a disaster. The boss was going to regret her and certainly regret hiring her after a Floo interview. Maybe he’d been busy or distracted or he’d just interviewed that woman and figured it meant he got a charity hire, his good dead for the day. Hiring Jane Holland.

The baby blue satin shirt she had chosen to wear was now proving to Jane that she should not have chosen it at all. She was sweating in that horrible cold sweat, bundle of nerves, self-conscious, furious blushing sort of way. She ducked into a bathroom en route and splashed cold water on her face, trying her best to breathe like a normie. She could do this. She could. She was an adult and she was sophisticated and intelligent and definitely qualified. She could do this. Jane tightened the belt around her middle and looked down at her plain black pants and the black satin pumps encasing her feet. She looked respectable enough but she felt horrible.

Jane stared at herself in the mirror, willing herself not to get blotchy. Nooooo blotchy. She whirled around and hurried into a stall, her heels clip-clopping on the ragged linoleum as she moved. Jane unravelled half a roll of loo paper in a flurry and headed back to the mirror. She dampened some of the paper and used it on her face, hoping it would cool her down. It's fine. You can do this. You'll be great. Oh yes. Why hellloooooo there hot stuff!

She made faces at the mirror and dabbed at her burning cheeks some more. She froze for a second and cautiously lifted one arm up, eyes widening slightly at the slightly damp patch where the satin sat against her armpit. Disaster! Why did I wear satin? In summer?! Panicking slightly, Jane wadded up some loo paper and stuffed it under the sleeve of her shirt in an attempt to get a little drier. She did the same with the other side and squeeeeeeeeezed her arms against her torso for a few moments, then she pulled the lengths of toilet paper out of her sleeve and flushed them down the toilet. She checked again and let out a little shriek. Its fine. It's fine. I just... won't lift up my arms. It will be fine.

She picked up her purse and took one more doubtful look at her reflection in the mirror. Jane took a deep breath, mentally repeating all the nice things anyone had ever said about her like a mantra. At least it was easy to find the conference room; a dilapidated sign pointed the way. Jane glanced around, taking in the somewhat shabby décor and feeling slightly more welcome. At least the Daily Prophet offices weren’t all shiny and sleek like the woman in white.

She reached the conference room, a bright and almost desperate smile plastered on her face as she hovered just inside the doorway. She was hard to miss really, being almost 5'9 and wearing heels that gave her another three inches on top of that, but Jane was at that moment, trying to fade into the background.

"You muzt be joooking wiz me!" The woman in white spoke in a terribly painful-to-Jane’s-ears accent. "Zat boy iz too little to be managinggg such a plaze like dis! It is... It is... c'est impossible! It iz impossibool!"

Jane glanced around nervously eyeing a woman who was cleaning, and noting that almost everyone in the room had various degrees of confusion, derision and impatience on their faces. Feeling completely alarmed by the woman in white and growing more alarmed by the second at the... well, the Frenchness of her, Jane eased herself along the wall and just stood there awkwardly.

Apparently the French woman, who continued to wax on about the look of the place, was more accustomed to nicer facilities. Jane herself, felt quite at ease with the not-quite-tidy and just-a-little-shabby look and feel of the place, but if someone else didn't feel the same, who was Jane to comment on it?

Who was Jane at all?

How zen.

"I'm Jane."

She hurriedly answered her own question, just in case the universe had a different answer. Then she promptly covered her mouth with both hands, startled at the volume her voice had come out at. Of course, because of the satin and the sweaty factor, Jane kept her elbows firmly pressed against her torso so that it almost appeared like her arms started at the elbow if one were judging by her movements. She pressed her back against the wall. It was safe and non-threatening and not at all like all the people at the table. It appeared that the majority of the people in the room were distracted by the one woman who was scrubbing at the table. What a strange time to have a maid working. Odd that she was so busy scrubbing at the table when the rest of the place was in a shambles around her. Not that Jane thought the place was dirty, it was just that the woman seemed to have some odd priorities. And timing. Apparently the woman was actually a layout editor and she had a thing about germs. Curiouser and curiouser.

One man, who looked and sounded like the boss, greeted her, inviting her to have a seat. Jane let out a little noise of dismay and embarrassment into her fingers then slowly took them away from her mouth, offering a nervous but thankful little smile at Rico. Rico! She couldn't possibly call her boss by his first name!

"Thank you Mr. Serio, I'm sorry about being late, I got held u..."

And then another man was talking and Jane's voice disappeared. She jumped slightly when he spoke to her and wondered how on earth the boss could be flustered when she was the one that was so incredibly and obviously out of place.

"Mr. Serio... was my father," The boss-man levelled his eyes at her, "Please. Call me Rico."

Jane smiled at him nervously and apologetically. Call him Rico. Call her boss Rico. Rico. Not Mr. Serio. Rico.

"We appreciate everyone's enthusiasm," an admittedly attractive and kind of suave looking Asian man spoke, Jane’s eyes immediately flicking to his hands as they tugged his robes. "However, there's a thin line between being eager and being insolent. Please, everyone, take a seat. Yes, including you, Jane. Don't make the boss flustered. There's an empty chair beside me. "

"Be-beside you?" Jane swallowed and offered a tentatively confident smile, heading over to take the indicated seat. What had been going on in here before she’d arrived? Surely Mr. Serio wasn’t the flustered one, it was her, right? She placed her purse in her lap and waited nervously, shooting little glances at the man.

"Boss man, I'm go for the staff meeting." A pretty brunette with a cute snub nose and a spattering of freckles was shooting looks at the gorgeous Asian man who had told Jane to sit. Jane tried to find meanings in those looks and her mind took some crazy flights of fancy as if the two were stuck in some tragic soap opera. This meeting surely wouldn’t be out of place in one. Whatever else was going on in the room, Jane was trying to ignore now, though she was tempted to ask for aspirin too when she heard a pretty looking man, probably close to her in age, ask the germ lady for some. Jane’s head was thumping from the nerves, the strangeness of her new co-workers, and the heat of course. She furiously ignored the gathering moisture at the small of her back and a few other less comfortable places. Sophisticated people did not dab at themselves in public.

"I'm Jane." She repeated in a half-whisper, fixing her eyes on the Asian man seated next to her. He really was extremely good looking. Jane offered her hand for him to shake in greeting and it was then, when she lifted her arm enough to do so, that a short length of loo paper was juuuust visible peeking out of the sleeve at her now dry armpit, like a little flag proclaiming that satin had definitely been a bad idea.

"Yes, Jane. I know." His finely shaped brow arched at her and he spoke slowly, like he thought she was a little dull or something.

I can’t believe I just did that!

Jane admonished herself when she realised that she'd introduced herself twice. And this man with the eyebrows that lived closer to his supercilious hairline than his judgemental eyes still had not offered his name. Jane got it. He didn't want her to know him. He was clearly somewhere 'up there' in the scheme of things, while she was just an annoying ankle-biter or something. One dressed in increasingly soggy satin no less. And then she was hit by a tomato blush of epic proportions, every visible piece of her skin joining in for the fun of it. He was breathing on her ear, had she judged him wrong? Maybe he liked the satin and was just being rude because secre...

"Not to be offensive but there's loo paper coming out from your arm hole. I'd keep my arms down if I were you."

She let out an audible gasp and, since he had not taken her hand to shake it in greeting, Jane dropped her arm and squeezed both of her arms against her body. Loo paper! Betrayer! Jane looked back at him in alarm and embarrassment, taking in the completely uncompassionate expression and flattering under it. Discretely, she attempted to tuck the loose piece of paper back into her sleeve so she could fish it out later.

It took some wriggling and far more blushing, but she managed it and finally sat quiet and subdued, not looking at anyone and hoping that the meeting would be finished quickly and no other alarming events would occur. Why did satin get scratchier and scratchier against her skin even as it got soggier and soggier from her sweat? She barely heard him clap and address everyone again; she was too busy being mortified. Breathing exercises were a good idea. The meeting began while she tried to centre herself and Jane tried to focus on what Rico was saying. He welcomed the new staff, apparently there were quite a lot of them and Jane actually felt a little normal in comparison, if a little dull.

The new Minister for magic… the Quidditch World Cup… Werewolves at Hogwarts... Jane quietly and discreetly took a notebook and stubby pencil from her bag. She listened carefully and took notes. Okay and she doodled just a little. She looked up as he asked for story ideas and hesitatingly raised her hand... from her waist, elbow still pressed tight against her side.

"Perhaps there needs to be an insider in the school? Maybe some students might volunteer information? Opinions? Or..." Jane considered carefully, "Maybe the Department of Education has information about how the roll has been affected? Complaints from parents and things like that?" Jane coiled some of her hair around her stubby pencil as she considered other ideas.
"If the minister wants us to work closely with the ministry, surely she'd allow us to talk with the appropriate divisions? Werewolf control and all, and does anyone know any healers at St. Mungos? Maybe someone can find out what happened right after the attack? They did go there right?"

Oh... wait. She was hired for lifestyle articles.

"...or um... Fashion Tips for the Wolfish Wizard?"
"I had ice cream with Bontecou last week and gained an exclusive interview, including confirmation that he is in fact infected with lycanthropy." Jane looked up at the woman who’s name Jane had realised was Hunter in wonderment. How’d she scored an exclusive? It was because she was pretty right? Totally was.

"Ah, I wonder if I could, opine a comment?" Jane’s eyes flickered to another Asian man, an older one. Pepper? Something like that. It kind of made Jane crave one of those muggle drinks, Dr. Pepper. She was muggleborn after all so it wasn’t completely bizarre for her thoughts to stray. She smiled faintly when he nodded at her.

"As my colleague-ess said, Mr Man, is it really, ah, appropriate for us to listen to the Ministry? We should not, um... play... nice?" He looked questioningly at the woman. "No, we should play bad. Bad, yes."

He had a strange way of speaking but it was kind of endearing. If Jane hadn’t been so concerned about the toilet paper she might have smiled at him properly. She mentally noted the man she was sitting with, the suave but snarky Ian Hoshino was taking notes too and asking Pepper to clarify himself. And what was this Mr. Man business? She lost the thread of the discussion going on around her as she tried to figure it out, her eyes coming to rest on Hunter who had addressed the boss man as… well, boss man. Ohhhhhhh. Mr Man. Right. Jane’s mind also decided to think about playing bad for a while, so she was already mid-blush and discreetly peeking at Ian, when Mr Boss Man addressed her again.

"You have some good ideas, Miss Jane, though uh, not so sure about the fashion one... heh..."

Jane was quite aware that she wasn’t exactly the kind of person who should be dishing fashion advice, except maybe for the curvier witches. She chewed her pencil stub and attempted to concentrate again, hearing one man suggest coffee and another suggest snitch shaped articles and less advertisements. It was sort of hard to focus on that when Ian was sneering next to her like some artist had decided that was the only way to paint the canvas that was Hoshino, so she had remained silent. She listened carefully to all the suggestions and the banter, holding her tongue a few times, even biting it in order to stop herself from responding when questions and comments that had nothing to do with her were asked. She was focusing that hard.

So werewolves... quidditch cup... surely that wasn't going to be the only focus of the paper? She twisted her hair around her pencil thoughtfully and then let go all of a sudden, the pencil remaining in her hair.

"Mr. Ser... Rico, perhaps we could have a few advertisements disguised as articles or just... articles that are subtle reinforcements of the advertisements being run? What I mean is Diagon Alley, now that the kids are all back at school, could be featured as a series, Diagon Alley as a whole; where to go and what to see for grown witches and wizards rather than excited children. Maybe a shop by shop feature, interviewing the shopkeepers and possibly in the process we might get information that will help the newsies with their stories too? Shop keepers see and here far more than most people think, we might find a few exclusives that can be used across the sections. Maybe we can even convince the shops to pay for their own articles, sell them as if they are... specialist advertising aimed at convincing the subconscious to shop at whichever store is being featured."

Jane looked around the table apologetically and added, "...and it would bring in more revenue."

"Uh..." Rico rubbed his chin as Jane talked. "...hmm. Go for it. Don't worry about making them pay for the articles just now... I'm not sure how persuasive you are, but the features sound great. Where are you going to start? The Leaky? Gringott's?"

"What I mean, Mr. Seri... Rico, is that any features I write would best be supported by advertisements for the same stores, it would be a featurette, but serve the same purpose as an extra advertisement, that is getting more customers for those businesses and appealing to a wider demographic of readers for us. Win-win. If it works well, I am certain I can be persuasive about payment for future efforts." Jane explained, her voice coming out surer and more confident as she warmed to her theme. "I'll start with the Leaky, it makes sense considering that is the gateway to the Alley itself."

“I like.. um.. Miss Jane's idea.” Nathan, one of the layout staff, –or was it advertising? - piped in and Jane offered a quick smile, thankful for the brief words of support for her idea.

"I'd be happy to do a review of the Leaky Cauldron, or maybe Eeylops??" Another writer offered up. And Jane straightened in her chair, staring the other woman down.

"There is noway you are stealing my article ideas." she interjected firmly, looking down the table long enough to make it clear she wouldn't stand for swooping, despite all her other obvious shortcomings.

Her idea.

Hers.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Ian turn toward her and wink. She blushed a little, though it sort of felt like she’d won something. Respect maybe. Or you know, whatever she’d lost from the whole toilet paper thing. Guh. He managed to remind her that she was encased in satin just with a look. She’d forgotten for a moment with her mind firmly on the job.

"Ah, yes. Yes to you all. Since it sounds like everyone has everything under control, I think this meeting is adjourned." Rico informed them, clapping his hands together. He asked Sienna and Ian if they had more to add and Sienna, some other boss person who Jane was already realising had a thing about deadlines, agreed that they were done.

Right. That had gone faster than she’d expected, more painfully too, though her nerves had settled at least a little. She was excited by two things, the first being the part where she actually started her new job officially and the second thing was recovering from the whole... toilet paper thing... She carefully stood up; elbows pressed to her sides and tried to be nonchalant and casual as she left the room, pencil still caught in her curls.

ZOMG, Tegz. I read this when you posted it the FIRST time and then again when you posted the rewrite. And I stillllll didn't post.

We already chatted about how hard it is to rewrite RP's, plus you had the added challenge of 101 characters, but I think you handled it really well. Jane's voice is always so distinctive and clear and it sort of helps sort everyone else out.

Also, Hunter says she did NOT get that interview because she's pretty. She's just a GOOD REPORTER. Clearly.

She's so tragic Tegz.

You've just got to love her. She's also very real and sweet. I also love that she has a backbone when it comes to another writer trying to swoop her articles, as Jane called it.


Anyway. Yeah. I'm stalking.

This is awesome, Tegz. I just got all caught up and I WANT MOREEEEEE.

and it makes me miss the DP.

Its insane even. The rewrite made me happier for sure. Thank you for the vote of confidence though, it was a nightmare to be sure.

That too, Hunter. That too.

Aww I love that you love it. Rico will reappear soon XD in the update after this one, and possibly the one after that depending how long it gets.

Wooo The Stub!


A good kind of tragic I hope XD

Someone as fiction-lazy as yourself stalking is a compliment *takes it*

Oh and, the Fogies make a return after this one.

Made by Ama



January 15th 2070
Wonky desks: 1
Meetings with boss-type people: 1
Article due: Quality Quidditch Supplies: Flying high and Flying Free

Jane Holland a little worse for wear after last night. The Stub is a bar where reporter types hide out. It stocks Self’s favourite triple F drink. Anyone who has to ask Self what triple F drink is, does not deserve to know or experience wonder of said beverage. If one is in need of entertainment however, one might find Jane Holland after consumption of said elixir to be an interesting and alarming diversion. Or maybe just find Self a little sad. Self unsure if new friends consider Jane Holland to be these things or something else entirely.

For first time in months, Jane Holland has friends who are not geriatric.




It was true that Jane was settling into her new life now, and equally true that she avoided satin almost completely, the only exception being her sheets since a girl totally needed a little luxury every now and then. What a girl did not need was waking up sweaty, hot and completely frazzled.

Not late for work thank goodness, her internal clock was nice and reliable, despite a night out with her co-workers, including boss-type people.

If only she could just show up to work with her sheet wrapped around her like a toga, maybe an ivy wreath in her frizzy curls just as a gesture to accessorizing. bare foot of course. She just wasn’t entirely sure it would go down particularly well and if she was ever going to do that, it was possibly best to wait until she’d had some of her favourite flirty, fruity and fun pink drinks.

Jane managed to find her way across the floor of her rented room to the shower, picking between the clothes strewn all over the floor where she threw them the night before. Jane jumped under the water with her sheet still wrapped around her before she had even realized it. It was going to be that kind of day, apparently.

She was dressed and ready to go moments later and decided she might as well get a coffee and a pastry downstairs. Tomorrow would be her last day staying at the Leaky; her article was done and she really couldn’t afford it anymore. One more night there and she would have to head back to her own run down but cozy flat.


Jane arrived on time and cheerful, despite the start she had. It was typical enough not to be alarming after all. She smiled to herself and took a seat at her desk. Of course, she had ended up in the leftover one; all the others were taken by the time Jane had finally gotten around to unpacking her things and settling in. This of course involved a few embellishments, things to make her feel more at home.

Like a pet rock for instance.

And her favourite little plant which resembled a Venus fly trap and had a fondness for pencil shavings among other things.

Her desk was wonky and she had been using a few old books to prop it up since she started working. She made a mental note to pop out and see if she could find something a little more permanent on her lunch break.

Jane unbundled herself, taking her coat off, as well as her scarf, and gloves, draping the coat over the back of her chair and tucking the other bits in her desk drawer. STUCK desk drawer. She looked around and then gave it a thump when it popped open, letting out a triumphant ‘HA!’ Oh thats right trick drawer, you are no match for Jane Holland, journalist extraordinaire!

Jane settled into her chair, smoothing her dress, against her legs as she got cozy comfy. She crossed her feet at the ankle and somehow found herself gnawing on the end of a pencil as she read her notes, losing herself in them completely. That was until a coffee cup, large and brimming with a dark and soupy substance, along with a svelte and bright-eyed co-worker decided to perch on her desk.

"Bet you need that. So... are you aware your desk is somehow even more disreputable than mine?"

Startled out of her reverie, Jane flung her pencil clear across the room and let her eyes trail after it sheepishly.

Meant to do that.

Totally.

She flicked her eyes back to her desk, the coffee on it and the Hunter on it and looked up at the other woman.

"Oh, I know. I got the short straw I guess. It was kind of the only desk left by the time I..." Changed her sweaty shirt and got rid of the toilet paper armpit flags? "...Settled in."

Hunter slid right off the corner of the desk in question. Apparently unbothered by this, she righted herself with a grin and hopped back onto the corner of a neighboring desk.

“Cheers.” She raised her mug at Jane and gestured for Jane to take the other. Jane picked it up and immediately took a long sip.

"Cheers." Jane agreed, smilingover the rim of her mug as Hunter moved to sit on a slightly safer desk. "Mmmm. Thanks. Looks like murder liquid which is awesome because I am pretty sure I still have a few brain cells functioning after last night and I feel like I need to be a little more impaired to function around here, you know?" Jane held the mug with both hands, letting the warmth seep into her fingertips.

"Know I do," Hunter agreed, sipping her own coffee. She was grinning just a bit and occasionally smacked her lips as if she were trying to gauge just how bad the coffee was. "No clue who brewed it, but it’s just as bad as you'd expect this place to have. If it was better, we might get all caught up in fancy coffee and stop being able to string words together."

Jane nodded and sipped the murder liquid happily. See it wasn't that she was technically a coffee fan, she'd still chose hot chocolate over coffee any day, it was just that Jane was pretty sure, a coffee addiction went right along with being a journalist and so from the first moment she'd arrived in England to pursue her career, she'd cultivated a serious one.

"I was ridiculous wasn't I?" Jane asked a bit glumly. Really, going out to the pub was one thing, but bouncing around in front of your new colleagues was a very different kettle of fish.

"I think you were genius. Charming and witty and fun," Hunter toasted Jane once again, her expression flickering a bit as she apparently thought about the night before.

"You are just too nice to me Hunter." Jane answered, sipping at her coffee and offering a warm glow of a smile. It had really been a good thing that she hadn't had all that far to stumble last night and she was very grateful that the beds at the Leaky Cauldron were precisely as comfortable as advertised. She hadn't even undressed before practically passing out on top of the comforter. It wasn’t until during the night that she’d lost all her clothes and ended up in a satin toga. She summoned her tossed pencil and placed it on her desk absently.

"I think I'm going to go find a brick later." Jane commented, shaking her head slightly so that her curls bounced. She gestured at her desk as her pencil decided to roll across it. Jane caught the pencil at the bottom edge of the slope and put it point first in her pencil jar.

Hunter kicked Jane's desk gently. "You can have my desk, if you want. The layout department had some sort of mass aneurysm and set me up with them. But all four legs meet the floor."


Jane cringed as her desk wobbled precariously under the light kick that Hunter gave it.

"But I wouldn't want to put you out." Jane shook her head, blond curls bouncing in complete disorder. She sipped the coffee and her eyes went PING. Murder liquid indeed. "A brick will do, I have no idea if those books are important..." Jane trailed off and pointed at the heavy tomes that were propping her desk up. "I figured I can just... prise a cobblestone free from the street."

"But we make so much more money than before, Janey," Hunter grinned at the idea of Jane tearing up the street. "Surely we can afford fancy things to prop up your desk. Antique tea sets. Persian rugs. Things."

"I happen to think cobblestones are perfectly serviceable desk-propping devices." Jane answered archly, though she added a little smile for Hunter, kidding along with her.

"Planning to deface public property now, Lo--Jane?" Ian’s voice cut through their conversation, Jane couldn’t quite figure out what he’d be doing hanging around the journalists desks, or where he’d appeared from. Had he been there long? They hadn’t talked about him had they? She blushed a little. Probably he was looking for Hunter.

"Are you going to make Hunter your accomplice? I'm not sure that's the kind of image we want to convey here." Ian added, his tone so very… Ian.

"Maybe I just like to live dangerously!” Jane answered, putting on a bright face and a brave one too. He was somewhat intimidating, did he know? Hunter didn’t seem particular intimidated though. She almost looked resigned to his sudden appearance.

“Besides it isn't like I'd be sent to Azkaban for taking a bit of old brick." Jane held up one finger and waggled it at him. "And, we are the press, so even if we get caught we can totally give it some awesome spin and everything will just be fine and dandy."

Hunter glowered at Ian. "No one wants to hear from you, Hoshino. Move along to your pretty pictures."

Jane sipped her coffee again and nodded in innocent agreement to Hunter's comment. Pretty pictures indeed.

"Oh speaking of pretty pictures I was hoping you'd come along with me for my next Diagon Alley feature, take a few nice pictures?"

Ian raised one finely shaped brow.

"I quite value your opinion too, Hunter Bones," responded Ian sarcastically and glanced over at Jane. He shifted from foot to foot, apparently contemplating this request. Jane’s lip caught between her teeth as she waited for him to answer.

"Sure," Ian mumbled at last.

Wasn't it awesome that they were all getting along?

"You don't even know where the next feature is going to be!" Jane laughed, "How do you know it won't be somewhere that you want to spend a little extra time at?"

Ian pinched the bridge of his nose and added, "As long as we don't have to stay there for very long."

What was wrong with his nose? Jane tipped her head to one side and examined it before realizing she was staring. So of course, she blushed and attempted to hide it behind the coffee mug, which was actually empty now so she was sipping at nothing.

"I don't do well in unfamiliar places," informed Ian, raising one eyebrow and lowering his hand from his nose, presumably because of Jane’s stares.

"I'll let you two talk shop." Hunter, who had gone suddenly quiet, slid off the edge of the desk and shuffled toward her own, her expression completely unreadable to Jane who watched after Hunter in consternation, her coffee mug listing to one side and making it obvious that there was nothing in it.Nobody would notice this. Whether it was simply because they’d all resigned themselves to Jane’s particulars or not wasn’t quite certain.

"Did I...?" Do something wrong? Jane was clearly crushed. So she had to go requisition a cobblestone on her own? But things had been going so swimmingly!

"Its... its your shop too, Hunter." Jane called after the other woman.

Artfully, Hoshino shrugged one shoulder. "Oh, don't mind Hunter, Jane," he drawled, making his way to her desk. "I think the one who's in the wrong is me. I might have intruded on something."

"Don't play noble, Hoshieeeeee," Hunter drawled with a simpering smile. "You don't have to pretend with us." But she sighed and reseated herself on a nearby desk at Jane’s looks "Sit, Hoshino. We'll all be friends and plan our Diagon Alley takeover."

Again, a single brow rose and Ian Hoshino stared at Hunter for several moments, finally glancing over his shoulder as if he were hoping someone would appear and make things make sense in Ian world.

"Explain to me, please," he began leaning on a corner of Jane's desk. "Why would we be bothering to take over Diagon Alley?" He eyed Jane's coffee cup.

Watching that exchange expectantly, clearly expecting someone to explain what exactly she'd just missed, Jane smiled and relaxed when whatever it was, sorted itself out.

"I was thinking something a little more covert." Jane giggled, imagining the three of them ninja-ing into the street and prizing up a cobblestone (or two or three or four), then disappearing again. Her little imaginings were reminiscent of the games she played during childhood, when she thought she was soooo sneaky and her parents had noooo idea that she was sneaking in and out of the room. Except, they kind of had and simply hadn't cared.

Jane put her empty coffee cup down on the desk and smiled sweetly at Ian. "Anyway, you aren't interrupting anything. Hunter was just being nice enough to bring me coffee."

Which meant they were friends now. It was easy to bond over a developing caffeine addiction and possibly a shared hangover.

Or possibly not. Jane wasn't sure if anyone else had quite kept up with her own personal intake.

"Someone has to be in charge of Diagon Alley.” Hunter relaxed a little, a bit more of her chipper self reappearing, “It's just being completely mismanaged. None of the shop signs are hanging in complimentary colors with the others. They're completely ignoring Feng Shui and bringing much bad fortune to..." Hunter snorted and nearly overbalanced. In response to the looks she was earning herself from Ian and Jane, one set with eyebrows invading a hairline and the other far more reminiscent of a bush baby, Hunter continued, "Fine. No taking over anything. I bet the Ministry would frown on the Prophet's annexation of Diagon Alley anyway," Hunter summoned a mug from the coffee station for Ian. It almost hit him in the head before settling on the desk next to him. This was quickly followed by the brimming coffee pot. "I'm quite good at getting coffee, you know? I should get paid extra for it."

Taking the hovering coffee pot carefully into his hands, Ian tilted his head. "Lo and behold," he began in a voice tinged with boredom and grandeur. "The power of Bone's summoning prowess. I commend you. I'll give you a tip for the coffee if that's what you really want."

"Well lets hope a few missing cobblestones won't mess with the Feng Shui and cause some financial cataclysm in the Alley." Jane so knew what Feng Shui was. Stuff had to face ways and stuff.

"You're so skilled, you can banish the pot back to the coffee station," Hunter made a face at Ian. It was something Jane had noticed Hunter tended to do a lot. Make faces.

At Ian.

He filled Jane's cup and then his own, apparently ignoring Hunter’s comments and faces. "In any case, I'll go with you, Jane. If just to make sure you don't get carried off to Mungo's"

"Aw you're sweet, Ian." Jane commented when he filled her coffee cup, her eyes twinkling a bit at his next comment. He told good jokes that Ian. "If I did get carried away to St. Mungos I'd make the most of it and go undercover as a patient. I hear there is a healer there who is a complete terror; she might be a hag you know, probably eats children."

She noticed a little envelope on her desk and eyed it curiously. When had that got there? Had it been there all along? Jane took a sip of her second coffee and pulled the envelope closer.

"I'll go rescue the stones too. Can I come?"

"Sure thing." Jane answered, pleased that Hunter actually wanted to come hang out with her. Her, right? Not Ian? Jane still had her suspicions after that night at The Stub.

She opened the envelope and her eyes went wide.

"I have to... go to Ms. Knoll's office. She wishes to speak with me." Why did Jane feel like a naughty student called in to speak with the headmaster? Or, in this case, the deputy? Had anyone ever wondered why the Sheriff had got it but the Deputy hadn't? Those Deputies were made of stern stuff. Tricksy folk, managing to stick around despite all odds.

Jane hurriedly downed her coffee and stood up.

"I think I'll be right back. I hope? Ummm and then we will go out and run our errands." She smiled between Hunter and Ian and then hurried off to see the Managing Editor.

Even her title was scary.

Thanks to Cassirin and Ama, because I steal your charries. All dialogue from Ian and Hunter are THEIRS not mine. *grins*

You know that you're always welcome to steal Hunter and do whatever you want with her. Within reason, 'cause she's a stubborn beast.

(I told you already... you can't hint at stuff with Ian and Hunter because it confuses our girl quite a bit)

This is so fun to read, Tegz. I want to spend more time in Jane's head, especially to know how she feels about... famous Quidditch person and things like THAT. I think I know why she was called to the principal's office, but I look forward to reading that too.

And... since I epically hate translating RP to FF, you get all sorts of mass kudos from me for doing it and doing it well.

Last Update: 6/19/10