Here is my response to a dare from Biochemkris

her dare was



Biochemkris' Dare:
*an electrical engineer with no knowledge of magic comes to Hogwarts
*the central theme must involve Kraft macaroni and cheese
*werewolves and vampires must take over the school
*Dumbledore must blow his nose at a feast
*someone must say, "Well, at least you all didn't dream about that guy with the cheese. I don't know where that came from."
Due date: 29th Feb.

and my response titled "Conductivity" is

As Harry and Ron walked up towards the Great Hall they distinctly heard what they thought was singing, “is that what I think it is”, asked Harry… has a first name, “I’m not sure what it is,” said Ron. The two got nearer and the song got louder…oh I love to eat it everyday… “no way”, said Ron, “I haven’t heard that song in years….” it’s b-o-l-o-g-n-a
“what song”, asked Harry, “oh come on Harry,” said Ron, “you lived with muggles for eleven years and you never heard the theme song for Oscar Meyer Bologna?” “Nope,” said Harry how’s it go?” Ron looked at him for a bit to see if he was joking or not, he cleared his throat a little and began, “my bologna has a first name, it’s o-s-c-a-r, my bologna has a second name, it’s m-e-y-e-r, oh I love to eat it every day and if you ask me why I’d say……that oscar meyer has a way with bologna” Ron finished with a bow.
Harry fakes clapping, amused he says, “that’s all well and good mate, but why are all of the students singing it, I thought we were a Kraft Macaroni and Cheese school.” Ron screwed up his face a bit, “yer right we are, maybe they don’t know the words to that one…” the two walk in to the hall as the singing dies away.

Hermoine runs up to the pair as they enter, “where have you been, they’ve been singing that stupid song all morning,” Hi Hermoine,” says Ron, “yea we heard it, aren’t we a Kraft Macaroni and Cheese school?” “Of course we are” she answered looking preturbed at Ron’s question, “that’s why it was a stupid song”, she finished. “Hey, I’m glad the two of you are here,” said Hermione, “ I want you guys to look at this” she handed the pair an old piece of parchment. Students beware, do you know who your neighbor is? Vampires and werewolves have been sighted near your country, they could be you co-workers, they could be your teachers, they could be your friends or your children. If you see anyone who looks suspicious, do not attempt to restrain them, call the MoM immediately, yours in truth, Wolfe Blitzer, Senior Investigator, MoM Department of Fantastic Beasts.

“well,” said Hermoine, “what do you think of that?” “what’s the big deal,” said Harry, “Lupin’s a werewolf and most suspect that slimey ole Snape has vampire in him, neither of them are all that harmful,” he said. “And besides,” said Ron looking around the Hall,
“as for suspicious,” he motioned, “take your pick.” Harry, Ron and Hermoine headed back to the Gryffindor’s table and sat down to get breakfast. “I just think, with the feast tonight,” whispered Hermoine, “we might want to be a little more careful.” “Ochjao, hanaowef, wff walldd hmandfai” Ron swallowed his macaroni noodles with a glass of juice and repeated, “we will, Hermoine, we’ll look out”

Later, during Potions Harry decided to have a little fun with Snape, “uh Professor, can you tell me if there is a cure to the bite of a vampire?” “As I’ve told you before Mr. Potter,” Snape said with quiet politeness, “you will raise your hand if you have a question, and that’ll be five points from Gryffindor.” Harry shrugged of the points and raised his hand. “What is it Mr. Potter?” asked Snape getting more aggitated, “I was wondering, after you, uhmm, I mean, a person, is bitten by a vampire, is there a cure?”
Snape’s eyes narrowed at Harry’s slip and answered, “no Potter, once bitten, the blood of the vampire is with the victim for life,” then he smirked a little, “as are the advantages.”
Seamus quickly raised his hand, “Professor what are the advantages to being a vampire?”
“Well, Mr. Finnegan,” started Snape as Harry and the others listened intently, “Vampires can transform at will between their human and bat-like form, they can read other’s minds when near them and they can summon victims to them when hungry.” Snape continued, “once bitten, the victims of a vampire form an allegance to the biter and they combine their talents together to strengthen the whole pack, each pack or sect as it is referred to correctly, is tied to each other sect like a pyramid each originating with the original Vampire Queen.”

“wow,” said Ron, “now I know Snape must be one, did you see his glare and amazed look as he described the Queen Vampire.” Hermoine jumped in, “oh Ron, you would believe anything wouldn’t you, next you’ll be saying that the whole school is being taken over by vampires and werewolves.” The three continued walking towards transfiguration class when they noticed a man walking in the hallway looking lost. He wearing a uniform and sort of a lab coat on top. “Excuse me,” he said to the trio, “I seem to have lost my way, I was supposed to be going to the,” he pulls out a note and reads, “Headmasters office…some gent named Mr. Dumbledore?” Ron laughed, “you mean Professor Dumbledore?” the face of the man lit up, “oh is he a professor, what did he get his PhD in?” Ron looked puzzled, “his what?” the man responded, “you said he was a professor I assumed he earned a PhD from somewhere,” again Ron looked at the man as if he were speaking meremish, “look mate, who are you and what did the Headmaster want with you anyway?” the man looked at the trio again and smiled, he handed them a small white card with some writing on it, John Wilson, electrical engineer “you can’t find it, I’ll design it!” Ron looked up at the man and asked, “so what does the Headmaster need designed?” the man looked up and down his clipboard until he found it, “ah here it is,” he read out loud, “Dear Mr. Wilson, I would like to have you design an electrical foot warmer for me, I have tried to get my friends to send me socks as gifts but they either don’t catch my hints or just don’t get it. I have “other ways” of keeping my feet warm but I have heard from a close friend of mine named Arthur Weasley, that an electrical device may be more reliable, sincerely Albus Dumbledore.”
Hermione gasped, “an electrical device more reliable than magic?” Ron looked over and beamed, “Dumbledore called my dad a close friend.” Harry then spoke up, “oh well Profes…ummm I mean Mr. Dumbledore’s office is farther down that hallway and to the left near those big statues, just say “conductivity” and I’m sure the doors will open.”
As Mr. Wilson walked away, Ron noticed a lot of hair on back of the man’s neck and started to say, “hey Harry you don’t suppose he’s a …,” Harry cut him off, “oh give it a rest Ron, come on.”

The three headed back up to the common room, Hermoine announced “macaroni and cheese” and the portrait hole opened up. Ron and Harry fought each other over the softest puffy chair while Hermoine got out a book and started reading. Before long the boys were each snoring in harmony to a late afternoon nap while Hermoine was holding her book over one ear and her fist against the other, trying to finish the chapter on werewolves. Harry suddenly shouted out, “wha, no, I didn’t…..whaddya mean….not cheddar……sssss”, he fell back asleep. Hermoine had to hold back the tears, “what on earth was that about?” she asked the empty room. Then it was Ron’s turn, “uh..uhn..Uncle…. Dumbledore…so nice to see you……,” Hermoine was on the floor rolling in spasms…..she was roaring so loud that the two of them awoke. “Hermoine,” yelled Harry, “are you alright, have you been jinxed?” Hermoine got control of herself and finally explained that she almost wet herself with laughter at the two of them dreaming. “You should have heard what you two were saying,” she giggled, Ron said, “hey I remember something about Dumbledore and my father being brothers,” Harry looked at both of them and said, “yeah, well at least you all didn’t dream about that guy with the cheese, I don’t know where that came from.”


thanks......fang

please let me know if it's accepted so I post Cassirin

Great job, Fang!!

Nice work, Fang. You may want to post the dare requirements at the END of the story next time, just because it makes it a kind of surprise as to what was required and what was your own general randomness.

If you've posted in the EE thread that you have both accepted and completed this fic... and I think you have... then WELCOME. Thanks for PMing me.

You can change your siggy, post a dare, and keep on adding your literary brilliance right here in this thread. Oh, and here's a nice muskrat army for whatever use you need. They even have a song... "Muskrat Love."

I've heard you are doing mine next . That makes me so... HAPPY!

very well done fang welcome to th Evil eliet

thanks folks more to come.......

Yes, Eric. Good post.
Will be awaiting for the next.

Ah! I get to sing you a song!!! BAND!

:music_band:


Welcome to the Evil Elite!
I'd have to say that dare was neat!
I hope to read another one really soon!
Hey! Did you know that tonight it's a full moon?

Welcome fang01! It's great to have you! :sorcerer:

Okay here's my next dare, this was Cass's dare with no due date...

called

"El Guapo"


Jay, Wyn, Mattie and John had just been dropped off at the edge of the gate. The mansion was rockin already. The mariachi band could be heard escaping from the shutterless windows. “Mama Mia”, exclaimed Jay, “this is going to be a muy grande fiesta.” It sounded like the crowd had begun the congo line already. You could here the bass pounding… “da da, do do, da, DAH! da da, do do, da, DAH!” The group neared the front door, “who’s house is this again,” asked John. “I told you already,” responded Mattie, “it’s Voldemort’s although he sent out an owl last week that said for tonight he wanted to be called “El Guapo.”

At the door, Wyn looked for the doorbell…”ah here it is” she said as she pulled a string…. “Aye Carumba!” was heard over the roar of the noise inside and the door opened.

If the noise outside by the gate was loud, the level inside was deafening. Streamers and balloons where everywhere. Confetti was flying from little cannons up on the balcony railing. The smell of chile peppers was thick in the air. Near the center of the room the children were taking turns swinging a broomstick at a piñata shaped like Peeves. Everytime one of them hit it, it let out a noise like a whoopee cushion, “thhppppt.” “Wow, too bad that’s not the real thing, I’d like a swing at him, exclaimed Jay.

The group moved nearer the bandstand and started moving to the beat. “Ewww”, shouted Mattie, “John what are you doing?” she asked drawing everyone’s attention to him. He was shaking, almost convulsively to the music looking like a cross between a robot with a broken wire and someone with ants crawling inside their shirt. Jay and Wyn decided to go get a drink. As they moved near the bar, Ron spotted them and came over.

As usual Ron had way too much to drink, he nearly fell over his feet and collapsed in Jay arms. He looked up at Jay, “hey dude where’ve been, I’ve had to drink here all by myself….” He looked over at Wyn and raised an eyebrow….”woo woo who’s this?, you’ve been holding out on me…..daddio” Jay looked at him and said, It’s Wyn, big daddio,” Ron looked back at her and spit a little as he sloshed out, “ well I may be your daddio but this lady’s nacho mama……get it nacho mama…..not your mama…ah ha ha….wooops” and with that Ron fell to the floor in a fit of laughter at his own joke.

Wyn and Jay just left him there and got their drinks and turned around to see John on top of the bar dancing and Mattie grabbing his pant legs trying to wrestle him down , “ John come down here, you're making a fool of yourself.” No sooner had she ended her statement when the doors opened up with another “Aye Carumba” and in charged the members of the EE all wearing straw hats and ponchos.

Merman, Lotus and Elvpez were each carrying rifles shooting more confetti and drinking tequilla, Zymurgy had attached the biggest bushy mustache you’ve ever seen and from the smell of it hadn’t taken a bath in weeks…..and Cass, well it looked like Cass was riding a donkey. The party went deep into the night with the mixture of sounds filling the air. “da da, do do, da, DAH! thhhhpppppt!”

The revelers were having a great time. Ron was still on the floor and still drinking, the bar maid pouring the firewhiskey into his mouth from above, “ha ha he he…get it….nacho mama……..” he finally passed out as the final beats of the band quieted and the sun began to warm the eastern sky.






....fang

These were Cass's dare requirements....

*The Death Eaters are throwing a fiesta.
*Something unusual must be used as a piñata.
* Someone must shout "Nacho Mama" at least once.
*Voldemort wants to change his name to something more ethnic.
*The EE crash the party.

let me know what you think



...fang

Heh, heh...that's great!

That was hilarious, Fang. I'd say it was great, but I didn't see Day anywhere in that story *pouts* Just kidding, great job :flowersmile:

Awesome, bro!

Hilarious, made me

Keep it up!

Excellent work. I like donkeys. They are SO cute. Thanks!

I'm working on being nice and getting you on the front page at EEFFC. SS was down earlier today when I tried to do it before. MWA! You rock, Puppy!

So, so, so good. Pssst... best devote an entire fic to Day or Kris will eat your face off.

Good work fang 01 I really liked it :flowersmile: :sorcerer:

I will not eat his face off! How could you think I would do such a thing :o

But, I may have to flay him...

Okay I have accepted Cassirin's latest dare and here is the result


PONY


The evening was approaching quickly. Most had returned from their jobs for the day. The white clapboard house at the end of the cul-de-sac was warming for a quiet evening. Dinner was on the stove. The children were finishing up their homework. Jay was seated on the side of her bed. Wyn had had a really tough day and was looking at him as he held and begun serenading her

“It's not that easy being green,
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves.
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold...
or something much more colorful like that.

But green's the color of Spring.
And green can be cool and friendly-like.
And green can be big like an ocean, or important like a mountain,
or tall like a tree.

When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why?
Wonder, I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful!
And I think it's what I want to be.”

When Jay finished, the stuffed animals around Wyn’s room were all asleep, even her Beauty and the Beast mobile hanging over her bed had stopped rotating and Lumiere and Cogsworth were snoring quite loudly. But thinking his song had done the trick Jay leaned forward and reached out to grab….. “No, way bud,” Wyn turned and said, “it was a nice song but you’re still not getting my rubber ducky,” and with that, held it closer to her and pulled the covers up over her head.

“Oh poo”, exclaimed Jay as he got up and started out the door, he turrned before leaving though and said, “fine…..I hope he gets soap bubbles in his whistle when you take your next bath and all he says when you squeeze him is pffffttt.” “You can’t say that,” Wyn responded, to which Jay follwed with, “oh, but I just did.” And he truned and left her as she threw a fuzzy slipper at the wall near where he was standing.

Jay went downstairs and knew it was time to stir the chile again. He took the lid off and with the wooden spoon began stirring whistling ……..

“I could while away the hours
Conferring with the flowers
Consultin with the rain……
And my head, I’d be scratching
While my thoughts were busy hatchin
If I only had a brain

And at the refrain he tried to jump and click his heels like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. Except, unlike the Scarecrow, Jay was wearing an apron which caught the handle of the pot he was stirring, which in turn spilled entirely down his front. Jay screamed and jumped even higher hitting his head on the over hanging light fixture he was supposed to finish that afternoon, his hair got caught in the socket and was ablaze in seconds. Now he was jumping around the kitchen with his hair on fire, chile spilled down his front trying to put it out with the oven mittens on his hands which also starting burning…..

To top it off, one of the children had left some wizard chess pieces on the floor who where now running for their lives in every which way to avoid his foot steps when a misplaced step on a Knight sent him tumbling into the kitchen table with a crash. The Knight let out a yell only surpassed by the one Jay screamed as he fell through the table and onto the floor catching the nearby newspapers on fire as well.

Just when Wyn decided that the racket downstairs needed investigating she heard a loud SPLASH. Their youngest, Day had filled her Little Mermaid plastic aquarium with water and had thrown it on her father putting out the fire and saving the day. Wyn came downstairs to cries of, “Pony….my Pony….” Jay looked up at the child with alligator tears in her eye as she held the squished chess piece of the Knight. Daddy….you broke my Pony………



....fang

The dare from Cass was the following



*Someone says, "You can't say that!" to which someone else responds "Oh, but I
just did."
* Someone's hair catches on fire.
* There must be mention of a pony named Pony.
* Someone unconventional should be the hero of the fic
* Someone must be serenaded for a ridiculous reason.


...fang

Excellent... very funny. In particular, I liked:

Mostly cause it sounds like Wyn/me.

I also REALLY appreciated the including of the green-ness song and the PONY.

Although, I'm not sure Wyn would name her daughter after Day. I loved it, Puppy! It was great!

That was awesome! And you even managed to sort of squeeze Day in there It's a good thing I'm all alone in the lab right now or I'd be embarassed by the fits of giggles your tale put me in (I really would have said that about the knight, too ).

thanks evryone.....here's my next dare...be forwarned it's probably not as funny as some of the others but....oh well you decide


this is Biochemkris's dare......

Animal Magnatism

The van pulled up in front of the magnet warehouse. “Now remember guys, we’re looking for the really strong ones,” Zymurgy said, “don’t waste your time with the itty-bitty little ones.” “Why are we getting the magnets again boss?” asked Merman. “Weren’t you listening,” Cassirin answered, “the Professor said he was going to show us something about a kind of magic trick the muggles play using these magnet thingys.” Biochemkris spoke up, “I’ve heard that size isn’t everything………….……with magnets, even the smaller ones can be really powerful if they’re made from the right material.”

The Evil Elite spoke to the magnet vendor and picked out what he described as the strongest ones they could afford. “Do you have a box for us?” asked Elvpez. “No, unfortunately I don’t,” the vendor answered, “so you’ll just have to fill up your pockets with them.”
The Elite did as instructed and loaded back into their van and headed back to school.

As they neared the Fraternity House where the Professor instructed them to meet they could hear music blaring out the open windows. “Louie Louaie, awwww honey, say we gotta go now……yai yai yai yai yea….Louie Louaie…….”

“Sounds like a party going on in there,” said Edge, and they went up to the door and opened it. The music was pounding and the scene was right out of Animal House. Everyone was wearing togas except them of course. Somewhere in the back of the room they heard the band begin a new song. It sounded as if everyone in the room knew the words. “Aaaaaayyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaa……….you know you make me want to SHOUT!” and with that everyone started jumping around like the floor was covered with devils snare. Come on lets find the Professor.

“Hey,” interrupted Biochemkris as the group headed passed the bar,
“isn’t that Winky up there on the bar dancing?” “Get out,” answered Marcella Riddle, “it is and who’s that dancing with her?” “Eww,” said Cassirin, “I think that’s that goblin from Gringotts, what’s his name….oh yea Griphook.” “Well, I don’t know if I want to see what comes out of that relationship…..” Edge added.

Professor Snape was standing in the farthest room from the music. “I see by the bulkyness of your pockets that you were successful in finding the magnets” he said. “I am going to demonstrate what the muggles think is a type of magic.” He ushered the group towards a closet.

He opened the door and as if by invisible strings, Merman was drawn uncontrollably towards the Statue of Armor in the closet. "There's something about you that's causing me to hug you. It's like I have no will of my own, “ Merman said as the two locked together. The other just looked at what happened with blank stares. “Does any one know why Merman was drawn to the Statue?” Snape asked. Again nothing but blank faces. “The magnets are attracted to certain metal objects by a force called magnetism. Muggles once thought that this was a type of magic and used magnets to make things move around without being touched.” The kids all laughed. “boy muggles really are dumb,” fang said.


....fang

here's Biochemkris's dare....


Biochemkris's dare:
1) Snape throws a party- any occasion you want.
2) Someone must say, "There's something about you that's causing me to hug you. It's like I have no will of my own."
3) Two characters hook up at the party- you choose.
4) The Evil Elite make an appearance at some point.





...fang

Not bad Fang01 Great I didn't really like the part where I get drawn by magnatisem it makes me feal stupid and inbaresd but it stil was funny

I can honestly say that that was the strangest couple to "hook up" at one of these parties, yet. Awesome job.

haha! Fang, it was funny! EVILNESS IN PINK TIGHTS!

mwahahaha!
toodles with noodles,
b2m

Ubero-funny Eric! :up: :up:
Thanks for mentioning me in the fic...
And the part where Merman hugged the suit of armor is totally hilarious!
But, you know, I really wouldn't mind what Winky and Griphook's relationship would turn out to be...
Write more!