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me4ron · 10-03-2004, 07:13 AM

I'm glad you liked it, my Kirstie.

<333

Biochemkris · 10-04-2004, 03:48 PM

poor Emma

That was hilarious. Very evil fic. I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up on reading your (or anyone else's, for that matter) dares. I htink I should put up some dare requirements more often so I'll be forced to read when people accept my dares.

(Yeah, I noticed the word limit on posts- I believe there was one on the old SS but, I think it was higher)

Zymurgy · 11-25-2004, 05:09 PM

I loved this one, YouforRon.
Just one thing- why is my HUSBAND ordering a mailorder bride!? *Cries*

me4ron · 12-28-2004, 09:18 AM

Mmmhmm, it's been a while.

“Harry, you’d better come out here, I think there’s someone who wants to… see you.” Ronald Weasley called from the door of the Gryffindor common room.

Sure enough, once he had closed the portrait behind himself (eager for an excuse to take a break from gluing Schlope, Hermione’s new pet moose back together), he saw a girl who was holding a sign which read, “Nothing comes between me and my Harry Potter!” He stared. After a good five minutes of staring, he realized that this girl was wearing nothing but a towel with his face printed on it, and quickly looked away, quite abashed.

“Good evening, Mr Potter. My name is Lotus, and I am your biggest fan. Kiss me?”

She leapt at him. He jumped away. And just as one does in situations like these, broke into song:

I get no kick from champagne
Mere alcohol doesn’t thrill me at all
So tell me why should it be true
That I get a kick out of you

Some like the perfume from Spain
I’m sure that if I took even one sniff
It would bore me terrifically too
But I get a kick out of you

I get a kick every time I see you standing there before me
I get a kick though it’s clear to see, you obviously do not adore me

I get no kick in a plane
Flying too high with some gal in the sky
Is my idea of nothing to do
But I get a kick out of you!

Lotus, who, by the way, was a very evil young lady, was shocked by this sudden outburst, and the fact that he did, actually, sound a lot like Frank Sinatra. So shocked she almost dropped her towel! But not quite, this story is rated PG.

During this outburst, many people from the common room had wandered out to see what the noise was. Silence.

Ron, who was standing closest to Harry, poked him hard on the shoulder. “Mate, why didn’t you ever tell us you could sing? It would have been a great help for mum’s last birthday party, it costed half my leg to hire the entertainment!”

Harry noticed that Ron wasn’t the only one shocked by his outburst. A lot of the girls in who had crowded around were looking at him in a very strange way. Actually, the only two people who didn’t seem entirely impressed were Lotus, and Hermione.

Hermione sniffed and rushed back into the common room (if we remember correctly, Hermione was once praised for her singing talents a few dares ago, and was actually rather jealous that people were paying more attention to Harry than her when she was the smart one. In her opinion, they should have been crowding around her!

But that was not why Lotus was unimpressed. She was simply… bored with it. She had thought that Harry was modest, not the sort to break into song when things got too quiet for him. She had even been willing to overlook the age difference for him, but not anymore.

Just then, there was a clatter and a smash, and Professor Snape came tumbling down the corridor. Well, when I say ‘tumbling’, what I mean, is that he had rushed up from his dungeon at high speed hoping to be able to deduct some points from Gryffindor, but fell over a suit of armour on his way, thus causing the tumbling effect of which we speak.

Hermione heard the clattering and, seizing her opportunity, ran back through the portrait and skidded to a halt in front of her potions teacher.

“Professor! I was wondering if you could give the class an example of the research journal you wanted us to keep for our next essay. It’s just, I’ve asked older students, but they say they all failed this component, and I’ve checked out every book in the library about referencing and note-taking, but none of them mention the method you described to us.” obviously, this research journal had been a great source of stress to poor Hermione.

Snape turned around and glared at Hermione, “Miss Granger,” he said slowly, “could you please refrain from discussing school matters outside of school.”

“Well,” she began, “technically we are in school; we all live here. If you’d just give us an example of someone who has passed-”

“Miss Granger!” he said clenching his teeth, “I will not help you to cheat! Now leave me alone!”

“But-”

“Did it not occur to you, that I might have problems of my own to worry about? I don’t care about your marks. I need a holiday! You,” he turned on Lotus, “you look nice and exotic. Come to the Bahamas with me. And get rid of that towel!” He added as an afterthought, now glaring at two different Harrys at once.

He took Lotus’ arm and led her out of the castle. On his way, he said to her, “Do you have a friend who could take my classes while I’m away? Thanks. “And with that the disappeared into the sunset.

-------

“Mr Potter,”

“New York, New York! I want to wake up in a city that never sleeps-”

“Mr Potter-”

“And I’ll find I’m number one, top of the list, king of the hill, a number one-”

“Mr Potter, please stop that or once of I’ll pour Mr Longbottom’s potion on you!”

Silence. The girls in the class, who had been sitting at Harry’s feet, gazing up at him during this recital- with the exception of Hermione, who was sitting behind her desk, mixing a potion that was, for once, a very different colour to the one they were learning in class- quickly regained their composure and hurried back to their seats.

And I'm stuck. More later.

me4ron · 12-28-2004, 03:29 PM

Amber (stardancer488) sighed heavily, turning her class. “Now where were we, before Mr Potter decided to grace us with his charming voice?” She asked, smiling at him and winking. “Oh yes. It’s just a jump to the left, and a step to the riiiiight!” She stood up out of her chair and moved in front of her desk. “Come on everyone, let’s dance, it’s easier than potions, and far more important!”

And with that the whole class got up (“Let’s do the time warp again!”) with Harry in lead vocals, and Amber dancing unhealthily close to him.

The whole class were having a great time. Malfoy had forgotten his self-control and was jumping around like a maniac, singing into his “Potter sucks” badge as a fake microphone.

That is, everyone but Hermione. She was working hard on her potion, but instead of mixing in scarab droppings as it said on the piece of parchment that Snape had left as a class plan, she was now adding a single, baby unicorn hair (she had the chance to sneak into Snape’s personal supplies while Amber was teaching the class to hold their arms in1st position, as Harry hummed a soothing song to the class.).

Hermione let out a small, uncharacteristic cackle, as she stirred her cauldron, sneaking shifty, malicious glances at Harry, while the other girls in the class looked upon him adoringly.

She whispered to herself, “I’ll teach him not to be so cocky! After he drinks this, he’ll be begging to have rose bushes coming out of his ears instead of this! Hahahahaha. Muahahahaha. MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHHA!”

After 10 more minutes of potion-making and gradually louder cackling, she finally finished and spooned a portion into a goblet, which she placed in front of Harry.

Harry, being the slow little man he is, took the goblet without question and skulled it.

“Wow, that’s nice, Hermione. What do you call th--”

Hermione watched gleefully as he slowly and painfully grew into a tree.

“Noooooo!” Professor Amber yelled, running over to tree!Harry as fast as her legs would carry her. “Mr Potter… Harry Potter. Harry.” She finally decided on it. “Harry! I- I think I love you!”

She wrapped her arms around him and sobbed into his bark.

Hermione dusted her hands off victoriously and strutted out.

The other students stopped their dancing, and turned to see Amber hugging tree!Harry.

“Treeeee Hugger!” They all pointed and laughed together, as they gathered their belongings and exited after Hermione. To this day, Professor Amber and tree!Harry are still in Snape’s dungeon, her arms wrapped tightly around him as he does his best to produce pretty maple leaves.

Done.

Kirstie's dare:
*Harry discovers he can sing much like Frank Sinatra*He decides to use this to impress Girls.
*Hermione is not impressed and gets revenge - somehow.
* A girl wearing only a Harry Potter towel stands outside the Gryff common room holding a sign that says "Nothing comes between me and my Harry Potter"*Snape decides he needs a holiday and takes a member of the EEFFD to the Bahamas. In his Absence, a different member of the EEFFd teaches Potions and fails spectactularly.

me4ron · 12-28-2004, 05:56 PM

Amber, who eventually tired of hugging Harry (he didn’t sing well anymore, and he became rather uncomfortable after you’d been attached to him for a few days.) got sick of her teaching post after a week or so, so she installed Neville as the new Potions master, and rejoined her posse of evil elite darers. Neville, bless him, was locked in a closet in Versailles on his first day by a particularly evil gang of Slytherins.

But if Dumbledore has taught us only one thing in his opening speech of movie #3, it is that good things come out of even the most dire situations. And so, let us get to the exciting part!

Amber, now having no occupation, had decided to hold an EEFFD party in Versailles (100% inspired by Neville’s teaching techniques), and started making glittery invitations with Jennz at once. When they finally finished, glue sticking their fingers together and glitter in their hair, they took at step back to gaze upon the pile of invitations. The one on the top of the pile read as follows:

Dear Mr Evil Edge,

You are evilly invited to the most evil event of the year, Amber’s evil Versailles party this Friday.

Please come at 6pm in your most evil attire, and don’t forget to bring a plate of food.

Evilly yours,

Amber and Jenn

And invitations much like this circulated the EEFFD gang until the whole group knew about the party, and could be found chatting excitedly around the Hogwarts castle, only interrupted by the occasional muffled, “someone please let me out of this closet” from a walkie-talkie attached to Malfoy’s be—

“Wait a minute, wait a minute. What do you think you’re doing? Have you not even read Hogwarts: A History? You cannot use muggle devices in this ca--”

Shut up Hermione.

Anyway, where was I?

I'll post more in a few days.

stardancer488 · 12-29-2004, 01:44 PM

MEH SS ATE MAH POST!

*tries to relive the excitment*

OMG! *dies laughing* that was brillant! Bloody brillant! teehee. Wow I loved it and omg when I got to tree hugger I laughed so hard. Rather you remember that from the chat or I am going insane that was greatttttttttttt. *huggles you and dashes*

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

waitttttttttttttttttttt

*tries to stop falls* *gets up*

Forgot that evil striking post thing that y'all EEFFD'ers do.

*strikes evil post in 1st position with a small demi and prances away*

bad_faith · 12-31-2004, 02:24 PM

haha Allie these are really good!

Taking Back Kirstie · 01-25-2005, 04:49 AM

OMG! you dedicated it to me!!!!!! *licks you*

and you wrote about it in the christmas card you sent me!

Allie you so totally rock.

More please

05-04-2005, 07:19 AM

wow...you're good...

Suganya · 05-12-2005, 01:42 PM

Hey me4ron u sounds really great

Suganya · 05-12-2005, 01:50 PM

reallyyy good me4ron

MissKris · 06-09-2005, 06:41 PM

New Reader Here! Let me tell you, This is a very nice fan fiction and I'm looking foreward to more great stuff. Keep up the good work and post more!

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