teehee...very evil..... ....more soon please!!! :sorcerer:

^Nice Edge...I would have never figured that out!

^ tnx, born2mugglz... actually, it was Poudlard... i saw it on the french closed captions of HP2...
btw, how do this dares work anyway???
I also liked the spoof about LoTR...

If you would like to know about The Evil Elite and The FF Chalenge visit us here The Elite Evil FF Chalenge.
We Love to get new members. And will answer any questions you have. :flowersmile:

congratulations
i was hoping soembody would relize that
thankyou

heeheehe, thanks for reading it
i gotta fly, i'm at a net cafe and my time is almost out
London's so cool
(but i'm soooo mad at myself for being outside the lotr premiere and not knowing that i was about 20 metres away from Emma Watson the whole time- i hate myeslf- in an evil sort of a way)

Hey every1
I'm back from my holiday.
it was lotsa fun, i went to London (which i loved), Amsterdam (which i thought was very scary), France and Italy.
did you want to know anything else, Cass?
i'm writing it here becoz i dont think we're allowed to talk about this sort of stuff in the EE thread anymore... right?
okay, i've got an eeensly weeensly bit of my dare done.....
here it is:

‘Good afternoon class,’ greeted professor McGonagall as she entered her classroom. ‘I would like to remind you that the Gryffindor verses Slytherin quidditch match is being held this Saturday and that the team are down five players due to the… *ahem* consequences of their mistaken potions that professor Snape tested on them… for educational reasons of course.’ Here she stopped and looked around the classroom. ‘Now, the two players left have decided not to forfeit the game, but they are going to need a lot of support if we want to win the quidditch school cup this year. This is why I am gathering students to join a mascot club for the team. I urge all of you to take part if you have no other commitments. Is anybody interested?’ she looked around the room.
Of course, Pavarati and Lavender stood up straight away.
‘Thankyou girls, your support means a lot to the team.’ She smiled at them, looking around hopefully for more. When nobody moved, she sighed and said; ‘of course, this will mean less homework for this week because you will need to practice most evenings.’
Immediately the boys stood up too, Seamus, Dean, Neville and Ron scrambled hurriedly out of their seats, big smiles on their faces. Even Harry stood up with them, until McGonagall saw him and said irritably; ‘Mr. Potter, it is very good of you to want to support your house, but we really need you ON the team if we have any hopes of winning.’
Harry sat down, looking embarrassed.
The only person in the class who hadn’t moved at all was Hermione; she was looking horrified at the idea of missing out on a whole week of homework!
Harry saw the look on her face and had an idea. He got out his wand and whispered a charm, pointing it at her chair.
Immediately she yelped and jumped of it as though it was burning.
Professor McGonagall smiled widely at her, ‘I knew I could count on my top student, Miss Granger.’
First Hermione looked appalled, but after being called a top student she beamed.

its purple today cuz i'm sick of blue..... isnt purple so much nicer?

Hey, good post... Hmmm... I wonder what dare this is...
*ponders the meaning of life*
Wow, your from a va-cay in Europ-ay... That's cool... Where's my souvenir??? Joking...

yes, it was pretty cool.
and thankyou.
and i'm not telling which dare it is till i finish it- which knowing me will take at least a decade- or until the deadline- whichever comes first.

‘Of course, Professor.’ She answered happily, ‘When do we start?’
‘Well, since you are all here, why not now?’ McGonagall said, rather insightfully, I thought.
Harry groaned. He was the only one in his class who would have homework to do and to top it all of he didn’t even get to sing along with the others. This especially depressed him when they started making up new lyrics to the tune of ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’. He loved that song and he just had to sit in the corner. And watch!
‘Twinkle, Twinkle, we’re all stars,
We can fly, oh so fars!
Higher than the Slytherins do,
Watch us beat them as they all ‘Moo’!
‘Twinkle, Twinkle, we’re all stars,
We can fly, oh so fars!
(I was very amused by the lack of proper grammer in this song, but Professor McGonagall seemed to think it was alright, so I just disapproved quietly from my perch at the local bus stop.)
Harry had to admit, this was not the best cheer, but he still was feeling left out that everybody else got to be in it. Harry was quite off-put that Ron was actually IN the team too, and he got to cheer, he frowned up at the author for kicking Ron out of quidditch for the mere pleasure of seeing him jump around with pom-poms and a mini-skirt. But- of course I didn’t see him, because I wasn’t in my usual spot- I was perching at the local bus stop.
Anyway, just as the squad was trying to add movements to the song, McGonagall called Harry over to take a note to Snape.
He took it, humming the tune to ‘Twinkle Twinkle’ all the way down to the dungeons.
When he arrived, he was just at the :
We can fly, oh so fars!
Higher than the Slytherins do,
Watch us beat them as they all ‘Moo’!
Part of the song and he opened the door still singing to himself.
‘Potter,’ Snape was shocked to see that Harry seemed to have willingly come down to potions. ‘What are you doing he- and WHAT are you singing about Slytherins? Come on Potter, sing it for my class.’
He waved a hand at a group of students containing Cho Chang- who, even though he no longer liked her, he still felt some-what uneasy about singing ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ in frount of, especially seeing as she was sitting so unnecessarily close to Michael Corner.
Harry saw the menacing look on Snapes face that said plainly; ‘Or I’ll give you a month detention,’ so he obeyed his secret new-years resolution and gave in to Snape without saying a word.
He launched into song;
‘Twinkle, Twinkle, we’re all stars,
We can fly, oh so fars!
Higher than the Slytherins do,
Watch us beat them as they all ‘Moo’!
‘Twinkle, Twinkle, we’re all stars,
We can fly, oh so fars!
After he had finished he ran out of the room before he could get in trouble by Snape, but not so fast that he didn’t hear the Ravenclaws mumbling about his bad grammer.

tis not working the way i thought it would >
not fair!

well I think it's a brilliant start either way me4ron
.
I'm interested to wonder whose dare this is...

Keep goin! You can do it!

Yes... it's great! I think you're doing fine. Don't get discouraged.

Who's the other person who wasn't kicked off the team? I'm curious... and what were the effects of the potion? Ron seems okay now. You have some 'splaining to do! Er... sorry... Lucy moment.

i cant seem to think of anything, so sorry if this one doesent work so well.....
and there's no reason why Ron isnt in the team.... just cuz i dont want him to be.
and thanks for being nice- i appreciate it

On his way out Harry dropped the letter to Snape from McGonagall and it was then picked up by a rather evil blonde Slytherin- but we’ll talk about that later.
Back in ‘Transfiguration’ when Harry got back he was surprised to see that the whole class were again sitting in their seats and listening to Professor McGonagall’s lecture.
‘And where did cheerleading start?’ she asked the class, looking around for an answer.
Hermione instinctively put up her hand, but when professor McGonagall turned to look at her she realized that she really didn’t know the answer at all. When asked by the professor, Hermione answered with: ‘Er…Ancient China?’
Needless to say, McGonagall (who I will now call MG for short,) was shocked by the lack of information her ‘best student’ had on the matter (but I said it anyway because it was fun.)
Pavarati (who your author didn’t know was supposed to be Asian until today…. How odd.) Shot up her hand smiling and called out: ‘Please, professor, cheerleading comes from America, and it started in Muggle schools but has spread all over the world and is now used by magical people as well.’ MG was very pleased with her answer.
The lesson continued on like this for the next half-hour in which Harry spent passing notes to Hermione, something she had never allowed him to do before.
That evening, Harry had a very strange dream… it was Christmas day and the whole school were down at the quidditch pitch watching the Gryffindor verses Slytherin match. Harry was on his broomstick, glancing around for the snitch when Santa Clause and Rudolph walked onto the pitch.
Harry stopped mid-search and flew closer to the ground to see what was going on.
When he was close enough, he could see that dancing around on the pitch, were Dumbledore and Snape, both being unusually festive and singing ‘Jingle Bells’.
oh well, i'll finish it in the morning i should be sleeping- it's 2.45 am
if i dont get to bed soon it will be tomorrow already- which i guess it is.... but anyways.
hey, wait a sec... i'm confused
michael corner was going out with Ginny, who is two years younger than Cho... soo, how old is he? and did i put him in the right class? and if i did, what was he doing going out with a girl who was two years younger than him when he had plenty to choose from in his own grade?

okay, i dont know if this makes any sense or not..... but anyway
Enjoy:
Harry at first thought his eyes must be deceiving him. Dumbledore dressed up as Santa Clause was one thing, but Snape? As Rudolph?
Harry hung in mid-air gaping openly at the sight.
He felt like the whole crowd was thinking the same thing, because they were all screaming ‘NOOO!’ as if it pained them to see it.
Just then when Harry was inwardly marveling at Snape’s almost effortless ability to be such a graceful reindeer, when there was a loud angry scream from the crowd and something green flashed past him.
Harry took his eyes off Snape and Dumbledore’s display and looked around to see what had happened.
When he looked to his right, Harry saw Draco Malfoy emitting a scream of triumph and holding his fist in the air. It seemed like the whole crowd was now cheering for him and the Gryffindors had started a chant.
‘SLYTHERIN ROX MY SOX!’ They were screaming it over and over again and Harry just had time to feel embarrassed as he caught Ron’s eye when-


He woke up!
When Harry opened his eyes, he saw that everybody else had left the dorm.
He got out of bed and found a letter sitting on his bedside table in Ron’s untidy scrawl:
Harry,
Gone to cheerleading practice.
See you at breakfast.
Read the mail.
Ron.

This letter seemed normal enough, but what was that last line? ‘Read the mail’?
u like?

okies, here's the rest.
even though the dare is very evil, i'm feeling uninspired. I'm off to a party then the beach.
see u guys tuesday.

Harry looked around and saw a newspaper lying on Ron’s bedside table. It looked very thin, so it couldn’t be the Daily Prophet.He walked over to it and read the heading ‘The Hogwarts Weekly’.“Since when is there a Hogwarts newspaper?” Harry though to himself.
Harry picked it up and saw that the space under the headings Brooms, Potions, Transfiguration, Charms and Electives--Actually, as Harry flicked through, he found that the only heading that featured more than one sentence was a small column on the side of the frount page that was named Gossip.
Harry started reading it.
There were articles about various Gryffindors sneaking out of bed or stealing food from the kitchen- nothing earth-shattering--
Until Harry found the section about him, of course.
It was by far the longest and in the larges font, it went a little something like this:
“IT HAS COME TO OUR EDITER’S ATENCHIN THAT HARRY POTTER, A 6TH YEAR GRIFFINDORE HAS FINALLY CRACKED.
THERE HAS BEEN ALOT OF TALK ABOUT HIS SANITEE IN THE PAST FEW YEARS, BUT NOW EW CAN BE CERTIAN THAT HE IS NOT A NORMEL BOI.
THARE HAVE BEEN REPORTIGES OF HIS STRANGE BEHAVOR WHILSTE IN POTONS CLASS AS MANI STUDENTS WHERE QUITE TRAMATIZED BY AN OUTBRAKE OF HIS, SINGING A MUGIL NURSERY RIME FOR ONE 7TH YEAR CLASS.
WITNES, MICHAL CORNER STATID: ‘IT WAS AWEFULL, HE JUST BURST INTO CLAS AND STARTiD SINGING AT US FOR NOE REASON. IT LEFT ME CERTAN THAT HE IS INSANE.’
And that’s all we have for this week, tune in next week for the adventures of two teachers, bickering over a quidditch match- or something more.- bought to you exclusively by:
Presidentraco Malfoy,
Writer: Vincent Crabbe,
Editor: Gregory Goyle.”
The thing that shocked Harry most was not the fact that Malfoy had found out about his singing, but the abundance of spelling and grammar mistakes in the piece. You see, Harry has been feeling very Pedantic these past few days, so he picks up on everything- it’s really quite annoying.
So that’s why I’m finishing this dare and am going to continue the story with another. You had just better hope that Harry is a bit friendlier next time. Goodbye.

oh, i 4got again, here are the requirements- you finally get to know which dare it is- unless you've already guessed


devils_work's dare:
--A Gryffindor has to yell during a Quidditch match "Slytherin rox my sox off!"
--Hermione tries out for a cheerleading squad [its up to you if she makes it or not]
--A boy starts a newpaper which only has a gossip coloumn
--Someone has to start singing 'Twinkle twinkle' during potions
--Dumbledore dresses up as Santa Claus on christmas day, and Snape as Rudolph
--Either Parvati or Lavendar (or both) answer questions better and faster than Herm ever did in all classes except Divination.
Due Date: Jan 13th
tadaaaaaaa
isnt she evil?
didnt she make me suffer and spend hours trying to figure out what to do with it? :sorcerer:
oh well, i finished it now and can go to sleep b4 midnight for the first time all week
yay
even evil people need their sleep :scarejulie:

Good dare, me4ron...
I congratulate you...
Here, have a :flowersmile: ...
Hope you're happy!!! Goody, you are!!!

Nice work, me4ron... I'm working on this one too... and it is killing me! Very challenging .

thanks but dont let it kill you, then nobody else gets a chance. its really quite unfair to the rest of the world.
and yes Edge, i'm extatic i put the flower in my vase and my wole family have been admiring it. they say the've never seen a flower that's so.... virtual

here's the start of Kirstie's dare

It was the day of the big match and Harry was very nervous. Not only did he have to put up with the rest of the Gryffindor 6th years screaming (well, actually cheering, but lets face it- they suck) at him, but he only had one other person to play in the team with him. That’s right; it was just him and Colin.
Harry tried to focus on the tactics that Angelina had told him about earlier on his visit to the hospital wing.
‘Remember Harry, don’t be fooled by the Slytherins, they will do anything to win. Just catch the snitch.’ The words chased each-other around in his head, he had a strange feeling that they were playing ‘1, 2, 3 Home,’ or another game to that effect.
On the way down to the pitch, Harry noticed that Malfoy was walking with MG.
‘Oh, this is very nice of you, Mister Malfoy, my leg just hasn’t been the same since I tried on those biting pink tights…’ she trailed off.
‘It’s quite alright, professor, and please, call me Co-Umm…Draco.’ He smiled sickeningly up at her.
Harry was pondering on this strange behavior when he reached the changing rooms.
‘What do you want, Potter.’ Colin said as Harry entered the changing rooms.
‘Err, just to get changed, thanks,’ Harry was quite overwhelmed not to have Colin pouncing on him and asking for a ‘Before Match Signature’ and snapping a photo.

Loverly, and the best bit is.... I'm almost finished! yay, fun fun fun

Here's the rest
i finished it yesterday, but my evil (and not in a good way) computer was being rude and not believing me when i told it thet i really do have cable internet and that it really needn't bother dialing up.
anyways, we're all better now
and here it is!!!!!

Just as Harry was pulling on his red robes, Malfoy appeared next to him.
‘Here, let me help you with that,’ he took Harry’s robes from his hands and proceeded to dress him. Harry was quite freaked out, but too shocked to say anything, so he just let Malfoy dress him and went out to the pitch ready to start.
‘Remember, Harry,’ Malfoy called out after him. ‘Just do your best, much fear I sense in you.’ He said, tapping his nose in a knowing nose-ish way.
As soon as Harry got onto the pitch he knew that they had already lost.
With an only un-co-operative Colin on his team, and all of the Slytherins being to large and thuggish, not even the ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ cheer could save the team, they were doomed.
Just then Harry had an idea.
“What if I got Madame Hooch to cancel the game?” he thought to himself. “That might just be crazy enough to work!”
Harry approached Madame Hooch and said to her-
‘Madame Hooch, I don’t think I can play today, I don’t feel too well- maybe I should go to the hospital wing.’ Harry had to say this a few times before she heard (the Gryffindor cheerleaders were singing very loudly and obtrusively).
She shook her head. ‘No, Mr. Potter, I think you’ll be just fine.’
Harry was down-right flat out of ideas… he started to walk away when he was overcome by an urge to sing to Madame Hooch.
So he turned back around as started to sing heartily.
“Her voice is echoed in my mind, I can’t protect her she is mine. I can’t tell my friends ‘coz they will laugh, I love a member of the staff………..’” the whole school looked on as Harry sung, even filling in the instrumental parts of the song with some very creative sound effects. “That’s what I got to school for, you can call me crazy but I know that she craves me. That s what I go to school for! girlfriend’s I’ve had plenty but none like Madame Hooch. So she may be 33 but that doesn’t bother me---” at that moment Harry was thwacked over the head with a broom and heard Madame Hooch’s voice:
‘Are you sure you’re feeling alright, Mr. Potter?’ she asked, ‘Maybe we should take you up to the hospital wing. Mr. Weasley!’ she called Ron over. ‘Would you please take Mr. Potter to the hospital wing? Oh, and be careful of that orange feather boa behind you, I don’t think it matches your hair.’ She said, looking worried.
Ron looked behind him and saw the feather bower sticking out of the back of his cheerleading uniform. He screamed, grabbed Harry’s arm and started running, pulling Harry along behind him- desperate to be rid of the Fluro Orange Feather Boa.
Harry finally got to his feet after being dragged up several flights of stairs and knocked on the door, calling out; ‘Madame Pomphry?’.
After ten minutes the door opened and Harry saw, not the usual school nurse, but Neville Longbottom in the nurse’s dress and loverly hat that Harry was so used to seeing on a middle-aged woman.
‘Hi Neville!’ Ron said joyously, ‘I was wondering why you weren’t cheering with us at the ga-’
‘Hello dear,’ Neville said in a motherly tone to Harry, completely ignoring Ron. ‘Please come in, you look wretched.’ He took Harry into the hospital wing at lead him to a bed between Ginny and Angelina Johnson.
‘What’re you in for?’ Ginny asked Harry as he sat down.
‘Tried to seduce a teacher,’ he said absent-mindedly, ‘You?’
‘Defended the underpants gnomes from Snape, after that he thought I was looking ill and made me come up here.’ She grimaced, ‘Poor Neville, he’s trying his best but ever since Madame Pomphry went on holidays- he really can’t do it on his own. He’s been getting around to all of us and slowly.
‘Colin and Malfoy were in here until this morning, but Neville did something with a switching spell and told them to leave. They were probably better off before he got to them.’ She added as an afterthought. ‘But of course they were nagging him about the game and… well… I think I’d rather not know what Neville really did to them.’
And with that the lights faded out and the author jumped out and said in a loud voice: ‘TA DAAAAAAA! Thankyou, thankyouverymuch.’ And that was the end of it.
i'm proud of myself, i think its quite short compared to my last one

now i really should get a start on the MOAFFD,
or we'll be late, and find the gate is..... hist.......hush.....
heehehe, i love that poem

Hehehe...this is some evilness you've wreaked, me4ron! That song! I remember hearing that song.... the epitome of evil

And aww...poor Neville, I think he would make a good nurse if only he could do his spells.

lol, i think he would too, poor malfoy/colin, having to play for gryffindor all on his own. i heard that the slytherins werent very nice to him
and i love that song so i put it in my fic,
i think its soo funny ; )
thanks for reading.

okay, since nobody read my last fic, i think i'll just post more for you guys not to read.


Let’s take a trip into the future, I think I have quite overdone the present time.
It is 2030 and Harry is the headmaster of Hogwarts.
Harry was walking along the corridor, fuming over Dumbledore’s leaving- He had finally asked McGonagall to marry him, and they had run off to elope in a muggle casino, leaving Harry to be the headmaster- when a first year Hufflepuff approached him.
‘Hello professor Potter,’ she said shyly. Harry could see her friends giggling, hiding behind a corner.
‘Hello Miss… er… Miss-‘
‘Malfoy, Professor. Sir I just wanted to give you this.’ She handed him a pink note, and ran off to her giggling friends.
Harry tentatively opened the note, it said:

Dear Professor Potter,
On this Valentines Day I would like to tell you how much I respect you. I think it was very brave of you for finding Voldemort’s hide-out and killing him and you really deserved that award for services to the sch…

Harry ripped the note furiously. He was sick of people thinking that just because he found the lair, meant that he had defeated Voldemort.
It was not true!
It had been Hagrid who defeated him, Harry had been knocked out from the millions of dememtors surrounding him!
But alas, when he had tried to tell everybody, they wouldn’t believe Hagrid capable of such a feat.
Harry was angry. He raced after the little Malfoy and caught her near the great hall.
‘You’ he screamed, ‘how dare you! You are hereafter expelled from Hogwarts, please pack your bags and take the next train home! I will be writing to your parents’- here Harry stopped to imagine how much fun it would be writing to Malfoy and telling him the he had expelled his daughter- ‘and I expect a full apology when they come to meet me.’
The small Hufflepuffs looked terrified, and as Harry walked away, he couldn’t help but think that he might gave acted a bit harshly…
This is where your author decided that she doesn’t like future Harry, and she will try and stick to the present time from now on.

you like?

oh Dare Req's
Merman's Dare:
*someone must get expelled for giving Harry a valentine.
*Harry gets an award for special services to the school, for finding the missing object (object may be whatever you want).
*Dumbeldore must ask Mgonagall for her hand in marrige.
* and last but not least hagrid must defeat Voldemort.

i always forget

Great Dares m4r!

That last one was short, but you made up for it by making Harry the Headmaster. Very good! :flowersmile:

Good worke me4ron you did it very well


Merman

thankies guys

okay, i'm posting my Mother of all FFs dare here, because i dont wanna lose it after the whole thing's over, and it somehow deleted its-self from my computer.

lol, i hope this makes up for the shortness fo my other one, Elvpez.

It was a lovely foggy day as the students of Hogwarts made their way through the grounds and down to where the carnival was being held.
You see, today was the day that everybody had been waiting for- it was almost the end of the school year and Hogwarts was holding a carnival sponsored by the Hogsmede community. At the end of it there was to be an announcement by a guest celebrity about who the new mayor of Hogsmede would be. There had been talk of electing a Mayor of the small village for the past 50 years, but nothing had been acted on. That is, until Hermione caught wind of this and decided that it was a very important thing. She started a campaign to raise money for the new Mayor, but this was even less successful than SPEW so decided that she needed to raise money in a way that people would want to participate. This is why she decided to hold a carnival. It would give everybody who was voting a chance to spend time with the people running for Mayor (‘And spend money’ Hermione would mutter evilly- I think the stress was effecting her in more ways than one).
Every student was chatting happily and excitedly ready for a fun summer’s day - well, everybody but Harry, Ron and Hermione. Hermione had been taking her position so seriously as the Junior Vice-Treasurer of the occasion that she hadn’t let herself, -or Harry and Ron for that matter- sleep for the past week! Whenever they would suggest it was time to go to bed and head in the direction of the dormitories, Hermione would suddenly come up with another idea to organize the profits, and would need their help to draw up another plan. It didn’t help that every time they got close to finishing, Sirius’ head would pop into the fire and sing songs from the lion king, before deciding that it was too late and he had to get to bed( much to Harry and Ron’s envy). It seemed his favourite was ‘Can You Feel the Love Tonight’ and he actually had quite a good voice. However Ron, Harry and Hermione had been too busy to notice, and simply ignored him when he asked if it was a good performance-

Finally the students reached the carnival grounds and dispersed into the various stalls. There were a lot of them, ranging from the food store, that professor Flitwick was in charge of( he was wearing a banana muffin costume in favour of the occasion), to the Slytherins’ lucky dip, and again to the promotional stores run by various creatures.
Just then there was an announcement from the stage which was situated in the centre of the carnival ground and everybody gathered around to hear what Dumbledore was saying.
‘Good afternoon students and locals. I’m glad you all could make it, but before we get around to having fun there are a few things that should be noted.’ He stopped here to chuckle at himself. ‘I would like to introduce you to the candidates running for Mayor of Hogsmede, and I will then hand you over to them to talk about their policies.
‘First of all, I would like to introduce you to a woman who prides herself on being muggle-born, let me introduce born2mugglz!’
There was a long round of applause as a girl wearing pink tights and a matching lycra floral shirt jumped onto the stage.
‘Salut tout le monde!,’ she said, taking the microphone from Dumbledore and waving around at the audience. ‘Si vous aider moi etre le Mayor du Hogsmede, ce serai le plus bien decision de vos vie! Pas selument je donnerai tout le monde ici ajourd’hui un paire du tendu rose, mais je donnerai votre quelque choses plus--‘ it’s a pity, we never got to hear what else would happen if she was elected, (other than everybody getting a pair of pink tights- in case her French is so bad that you cant tell) because at that very moment, Sirius Black, -still the convicted murderer in many people’s eyes- had climbed onto the stage and taken the microphone from B2M. Once he had it firmly in his grip and had let his appearance sink in with the crowd, he did just as he had been doing the last few nights in the Gryffindor common room fire, he started singing. This time it was not ‘Can You Feel the Love Tonight’ but ‘The Circle of Life.’
Of course, most of the people watching were not accustomed to convicted murders singing songs from muggle children’s movies, but it really didn’t seem to bother them. They swayed and bopped along with the music as though they didn’t have a care in the world.
Unfortunately, this experience was cut short by a wail of grief. Sirius stopped singing and turned around to Dumbledore.
‘Its not fair!’ Dumbledore yelled sounding like a child who wanted candy. He was pointing over at the pony rides tent. ‘I wanted to ride a pony!’ he cried.
Everybody turned around and saw professor Snape sitting on a gray Shetland pony, being lead around the ring by a tall thin man wearing a pink, flowery hat, not unlike one that might be seen at the races -It would have looked quite nice with B2M’s shirt, come to think of it- But sadly, nobody did… they were too busy looking back and forwards between Dumbledore, who was sitting on the edge of the stage, his head in his hands, wailing, and Snape who was sitting on a pony being lead around by… well, I cant keep it from you any longer, you’ll guess soon enough anyway. That’s right, it was Voldemort!
Hermione went over to comfort Dumbledore. She asked him: ‘why don’t you come have a pony ride, too.’ in a calming but patronizing voice.
Dumbledore sniffled. ‘No, I can’t!’ he let out another wail. ‘Unfortunately, I have a large head and a very small neck, so you see I’d just fall straight off.’ He was quite right, of course, everybody looked closer and saw that he truly did have an overly large head, and his neck simply wouldn’t support it if he were made to sit up that straight over a long period of time on a pony.

Meanwhile, over at the pony rides tent, Snape realized what was happening, so he slipped of his pony, muttering ‘I need a coffee.’ and set off for the food tent, where professor Flitwick sat in his muffin costume, watching the scene happily.
‘Well’ said Hermione, picking up the microphone, and looking around at the crowd, ‘what a perfect way to introduce our other candidates. Sirius Black, and Voldemor-!’ as I said before, the crowd didn’t seem fazed by Sirius being there, but at the mention of Voldemort’s name there was a simultaneous intake of breath, Hermione continued as though she didn’t notice, ‘-Who has been nice enough to vow never to murder again as long as he is elected.’ She smiled around at the crowd.
At this point in time everybody looked around a Voldemort, who had now put on a cowboy hat, and was on a pony, sporting a lasso and yelling ‘Yeeehaw!’ as thought he had forgotten all of his pride. Seeing the crowd all staring blankly at him, he grinned at them and bowed gracefully (which was quite a feat, seeing as he was still on his pony) as Colin took a photo of him.
‘If you are interested in learning more about the people running for mayor,’ Hermione went on, ‘please go to the stall straight behind you where you will find merchandise for our different partys. It is run by two very helpful dementors, Bill and Bob,- the ones in pink tights- they would be glad to-‘
But what Bill and Bob would be glad to do, we will never know, because at the mention of dementors, the whole audience turned around to see them, and Harry, being Harry, had fainted.
Everybody crowded around him, but got bored after a while, so Hermione went on with the announcements.

When Harry came round, he found that he was still lying on the ground in frount of the stage, and saw Ron standing over him.
‘Hiya Harry, I got you something while you were asleep before all the good lucky dips went. Here you go.’ And he handed Harry a lucky dip, wrapped in a grass-stained t-shirt.
He opened it to find a Barbie doll, a packet of skittles, and… a hair? He sniffed it. It had the unmistakable odor of a troll- it must be Millicent Bulstrode’s hair- Harry’s eyes widened in amazement and smiled thankfully at Ron.
Ron, seeing the treasures that he had just given away, made a grab of the parcel, saying ‘you know Harry, I don’t think you’re very interested in this junk, how about I take it and you can get a new one?’ he gave a fake smile.
Harry moved the prize away from Ron.
‘No,’ he said, wearing the same fake smile as Ron, ‘I wouldn’t want to burden you with it.’
Ron made another, more obvious grab for the lucky dip, but Harry was too fast for him. He moved it away quicker than you can say Grass-Stained-T-Shirt-Millicent-Bulstrode’s-Hair-Packet-of-Skittles-and-Barbie-Doll, which you’ll have to agree, takes quite a bit of skill.
‘That’s it!’ Ron said, jumping on Harry, ‘Give it here! I bought it anyway.’ He demanded.
‘No!’ Harry yelled, trying to shield himself from the wrath of Ron, ‘you bought it for me- you cant take back a present!’
‘Just watch me!’ Ron snarled.
With that Ron and Harry started scratching and pulling each other’s hair like school children, which technically, they were.
The fight only broke up when Hermione came past with a tray of Jam Doughnuts and Butterbeer that she had obviously confiscated from somebody. Seeing the butterbeer, Ron gave up the fight and left Harry lying on the floor- just as he had been ten minutes before- and followed Hermione, fishing the doughnuts and butterbeer out of the bin after he was sure she wasn’t looking.
But at the moment when Ron started stuffing the jam doughnuts into his mouth, and washing them down with butterbeer, Hermione turned around, and saw him.
Fuming, she marched up to him, snatched the tray out of his jam-covered hands, and threw it back into the bin.
She started rambling furiously about the stresses of organizing and handling an event as large as this (nobody to remind her that she was only the Junior Vice-Treasurer).
Ron wasn’t listening though; he was looking at Hermione’s hair.

‘What have you done?’ he asked, looking aghast.
‘What?’ she asked blankly.
‘Y-‘Your hair!’ he exclaimed, pointing in awe, as it all turned grey.
Hermione pulled out a mirror from her pocket.
She simply stared at herself, looking horrified.
‘Oh no! I-I, OH NO!’ she screamed, making everybody around her look around and stare.
She could only stand there, looking at herself in the mirror, as she grew greyer by the second, and everybody around her silently edged away, not wanting to be associated with her.
She saw this and finally made a move- she ran as fast as she could up to the castle and into the hospital wing- she wasn’t seen for the next week.
After this scene, everybody went back to their business as though it hadn’t happened, and Ron fished the jam doughnuts and butterbeer back out of the bin and continued stuffing his face.
Meanwhile, Harry, feeling hungry but not wanting to eat out of a bin, headed over to the food tent, where Flitwick still sat, in his muffin costume, twiddling his thumbs.
‘Hello Professor,’ Harry said, ‘could I please have- wait-’ he stopped, sniffing the air and spotting a pile of house elves in the corner of the tent, ‘-why have you got a pile of smelling house elves in your tent?’
Flitwick was about to answer, but just as he opened his mouth, Harry was called over by Dobby the House Elf and went to talk to him, leaving Flitwick to explain to the air where Harry had been standing about why there were scented house elves in his tent.

Dobby grabbed hold of Harry’s arm when he came into reach.
‘Harry Potter must not associate with… Gnome Kings!’ Dobby whispered the last part- as though he were making a great revelation.
‘What- what are you talking about?’ Harry asked blankly, looking back at Flitwick, who was still giving his explanation, now talking to a nearby jug of milk. ‘-Dobby, what’s that smell? -And why are you all sitting on a block of cheese?’ Harry asked, the unpleasant aroma of old cheese reaching his nostrils, and finally realizing what he was looking at- about twenty house elves all surrounding a block of old, moldy cheese.
‘Mr. Potter must be quiet or The Gnome King will hear!’ Dobby whispered, looking warily at professor Flitwick. ‘We is guarding this cheese from The Gnome King’- again he looked over at Flitwick- ‘If we do not, he will overtake the cheese and turn it into his Gnome King Throne!’ Dobby was looking around unhappily at all the ignorant people, who were obviously walking too close to The Gnome King. ‘Harry Potter will please take Dobby’s post while he warns these people of The Gnome King?’
Harry didn’t have a chance to answer, Dobby sped off, and the other house elves had already pulled Harry down to sit in Dobby’s spot on the block of cheese.

With nineteen house elves watching him, Harry didn’t dare try escape, he simply sat there watching the people pass.
Shortly Snape came into the tent, and went up to Flitwick to order another coffee.
When it was done, Flitwick called out to him; ‘Would you like any sugar or milk with that, Severus?’
‘No, thank you,’ Snape said irritably, taking the coffee from Flitwick.
He turned to leave, but saw that Flitwick was staring at him.
‘What?’ he asked rudely, ‘It’s known to decrease the risk of diabetes,’ and that was it. Snape turned, and was gone with a swish of his black cloak.
Harry looked around, scanning the tent for another conversation to eavesdrop on… he was in luck, just as Snape left, Bill and Bob, (the dementors in pink tights) glided into the tent, looking very irritated.
‘I can’t believe that awful girl took our rations!’ Bill was saying to Bob (this is a rough transation from Dementor-ish of course, which, incidentally uses the exact same script and words as English).
‘I know!’ exclaimed Bob. ‘We had just better hope that there are jam doughnuts and butterbeer enough here or she’ll be in trouble.’
‘Good day, mister Flitwick,’ Bill said to the jar of milk. ‘The usual, please.’ He demanded, in a business-like fashion.
‘I’m sorry,’ Flitwick-the-muffin said, he really did sound sorry, ‘we’re all out. But I can give you a 10% discount on this tray of milk and cookies. They’re fresh from the oven.’ He smiled, trying to catch Bill’s eye.
Bill looked away.
‘Fine’ he sighed, and took the tray.
Bill and Bob glided away, even more irritated than before.
‘But-you didn’t pay!’ Flitwick called after them. ‘Nobody ever does,’ he muttered to himself, looking down at his muffin costume.
Bill and Bob simply glided on, their pink tights shining through the fog, as they made their way back to their stall where they were selling various shades of pink tights to promote B2M’s possible reign of Hogsmede.

Harry felt faint as he watched the dementors leave. As you probably know by now- he isn’t too fond of them. Harry decided that he should leave this block of cheese as soon as possible, just in case more dementors came, he didn’t think he could stand any more encounters with dementors today. You see, Even though he had stopped hearing his parents deaths when one came near, he was just so used to being scared and passing out when he saw a dementor by now, he did it without thinking.
‘Mr. Potter can leave now, thank you.’ came the voice of Dobby, interrupting Harry’s thoughts.
Harry stood up, and was about to leave when another house elf spoke.
‘We are being very grateful to you, young hobbit,’ it said, flashing Harry a toothy smile.
‘What?’ he asked, confused. ‘What do you mean hobbit? I’m no hobbit.’ Harry argued.
‘Oh,’ it said, sounding a tad disappointed. ‘Well we is being able to fix that,’ it decided, sounding brighter. The house elf snapped it’s fingers and muttered something under it’s breath.
Just then, a first year Hufflepuff stood up from a nearby table pointing at Harry and screamed ‘Hobbit!’ She ran away, her friends trailing behind her.
Harry was feeling quite shaken by this, so he simply made his way over to Sirius, to ask when the announcement of the new mayor would be, ignoring the stares coming from everybody around him.

‘Hi Sirius,’ Harry smiled.
‘Harry!’ Sirius was looking at him curiously, ‘you turned into a hobbit!’ he said in wonder.
‘I did not!’ Harry whined, sick of everybody saying so, ‘I look no different to what I did ten minutes ago,’ he was feeling quite put-out by all of this.
‘Yes, but it’s not about what you look like. It’s about who you are,’ Sirius said mysteriously, sounding too much like Trelawney for Harry’s liking.
Sirius saw the way Harry was looking at him and decided to change the subject.
‘So, Harry, what did you think of my song choice earlier? I’m thinking of singing ‘Hakuna Matata’ for my acceptance speech. I was actually wondering if you would like to sing it with me. Would you mind terribly?’
He didn’t give Harry time to answer.
‘we should practice now, are you ready?’
‘I-‘ Harry tried to say.
‘-good,’ And with that Sirius burst into song.
He was going quite well, despite Harry’s unhelpfulness, until Voldemort popped his Sombrero-hatted head around the corner and said irritably ‘do you mind terribly? I’m trying to prepare for my acceptance speech. I’m finding it quite difficult with this incessant racket, now SILENCE!.’ He looked murderous.
Sirius stopped singing, but ignored Voldemort, simply waiting for him to leave.
‘Sirius?’ Harry asked, trying not to look at the man who had wanted him dead for the past 16 years.. ‘When is the announcement of the new Mayor?’
‘As soon as Michael Jackson gets here.’ He answered, ‘now if you’re not going to sing with me, I have some practicing to do.’ And with that he walked off.

For the next fifteen minutes, Harry wandered around the grounds- wondering if Michael Jackson really was coming to Hogwarts, and if so, what for?- until he heard Dumbledore’s voice over the loud speaker and moved closer to find out what was happening.
‘I hope you are all enjoying yourselves,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry for the delay. We have had a slight mix up with our plans for today. The celebrity who was coming to announce the mayor of Hogsmede - a muggle pop star- was arrested by the muggle police for driving under the influence. We sent Professor Snape to bail him out, and they have only just arrived. Please give a big welcome to- Michael Jackson!’ there was a hearty round of applause as a man who (in your authors opinion) looked a lot like Voldemort stepped up onto stage.
‘It’s nice to see you all here today, and before I award the new mayor, I would like to sing you all a song.’ Michael Jackson said in a high-pitched voice.
The band (who just happened to be there) started up, and he sung ‘The Way You Make Me Feel’ (the only Michael Jackson song your author likes, and therefore the only one she could stand including in her fic).
I would like to remind you at this point, that most of the audience- not being muggle-born- had never before heard of Michael Jackson, and therefore had no idea why he looked so odd, or why he had apparently put soap on the bottom of his shoes to make them slide across the stage like that.
But by the end of the song, they were all dancing along regardless.

After the song, Michael took up the microphone again and opened an envelope, supposedly containing the results of the votes.
‘It is now my pleasure to now announce the new Mayor of Hogsmede!’ he said, smiling at the crowd. ‘The candidate with the most votes is… Born2mugglez.’ There was another round of applause as she climbed onto the stage. Michael Jackson held up his hands for silence, stopping B2M in her tracks. ‘But, I am awarding it today to somebody who has been kind to me, somebody who got me out of trouble today. Please welcome your new mayor, Professor Severus Snape!’
There was a loud silence, and an even louder ‘ZUT!’ from B2M.
THE END!

okies, here's Zy's dare:

It was another day for Voldemort and his followers in his underground hide-out.
‘Pettigrew! Feed me!’ Voldemort hollered across the room.
Pettigrew scurried over to Voldie’s throne to give him his daily dose of ketchup and celery.
‘Here you are, my master.’ He said, handing over a tray.
‘Wormtail, you idiot! You know I’m trying to loose weight- you gave me too much ketchup.’
Pettigrew looked secretly pleased with himself. He took the tray back, muttering to himself, ‘Excellent!’ he then saw Voldie staring at him strangely. ‘Er… I mean… never mind, I’ll have new celery for you in a jiffy.’ He smiled, taking back the tray.
Just then, there was a knock on the door and Snape burst in, his wand held high.
‘At last I found you! You’re in for it now!’ Snape screamed.
He made his decision in a flash and turned on Wormtail.
He positioned his wand and yelled, ‘Adarva Kedarava,’
With a flash of green light and a twitch, Wormtail fell to the ground and stayed there, celery rolling away happily.
‘Now, you’ve done it, Snape, I’ll get you!’ Voldie cried. ‘Wormtail!’ he ordered, ‘GET HIM!’ at those words Wormtail sprung up from the ground headed for Snape.
‘STOP, STOP, you’re doing it all wrong.’ Snape yelled over the racket.
‘What is it now,’ said Wormtail, sounding tired. ‘I’m following my orders.’ He argued.
‘Well I guess so,’ Snape sounded pensive. ‘But you’re… dead, right?’ he asked curiously.
Wormtail stopped to think… ‘What can I say, sorry?’ he stopped again. ‘Well, no… I suppose that doesn’t cut it.’ And with that he fell back onto the floor, leaving Voldemort defenceless.

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