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| Finished EEFD's Finished Evil Elite Fan Fiction Dares are housed in their own vault. Dare ye enter? |
11-27-2003, 03:59 AM
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#101 (permalink)
| Almighty Evil One Knarl
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Oz
Posts: 9,081
| Flower Girl Wench Royalty
Ice cream in my hair is a normal fixture for me.
It makes for some pleasant thinking time, if you suck on your hair.
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11-28-2003, 06:59 AM
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#102 (permalink)
| Almighty Evil One Knarl
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Oz
Posts: 9,081
| Flower Girl Wench Royalty Alright, nother part in the story that is my insanity. :wacko:
"This is an outrage!" cried professor mcgonagall.
"Come, come, we must not loose our heads." cooed flitwick
"I never loose my head, I never loose anything." said mcgonagall
"You lost the Quiditch Cup." chimed in snape
She snorted and with nostrals flaring said, "If Dumbledore was here he would do something, but fine, if none of you are going to look for the armor, I will." she turned on her heal and strode out of the headmasters office.
"Why did Dumbledore have to got to the 1st ever Anual 'Who's wizard beard is the longest contest'? It's just stupid, he is just trying to show off to Gandalf and Sarumon, silly old gits." said minerva as she made her way to find professor lupin, the only other teacher with guts enough to stand up to the nasty Professor Snape
"But who would want to steal all the suits of animated armor anyway?" she was saying to herself before turning the corner, and being confronted by all the missing armor.
They swarmed toward her, scouped her up and dashed down the stairs.
"Help!" she screamed, having forgotten that she had a wand and magic and was not a helpless fair damsel in distress. I guess she reads too many romance novels.
"Someone save me!"
The armour clanked and clanged on each stride, as they headed out of the castle toward a tower which seemed to be sticking out of the lake, it was covered in seaweed and moss. As they drew nearer, a flash of light erupted from it about 3 stories up, then all of a sudden they were lifting of the ground. The suits of armor had sprouted wings, but were unused to being off the ground and thrashed about knocking into each other in a mad attempt to get back to earth. McGonagall, with robes flapping for all to see, let out a pittiful shriek. Her worst fear being kidnapped by animated, flying suits of armor and taken to a slimey tower in broad daylight, was comming true.
They rose up and flapped through the open window where the light emitted from and made a colapsed landing, falling to pieces on the mossy floor. Before them stood a tall man in a grey robe with the hood pulled forward.
"Whats going on? I demand you tell me who you are!" shouted a very shaken looking professor
The man in the robe pulled back his hood.
"YOU! What are you doing HERE?"
The man laughed an evil laugh, you know how it goes.
"MWAHAHAHAHA! Now, Minerva is that anyway to greet your old fiance?" Sorry only short, I will continue soon.....
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11-28-2003, 08:24 PM
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#103 (permalink)
| Billywig
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: New England
Posts: 3,334
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Hurrah! I love it! And... I know I was late responding to this... but I was busy eating a nasty oversalted turkey *glares at turkey* and it wasn't my mother's fault since she added no salt. *glares at turkey* I'm going to write a NASTY letter to the company. *glares at company* because they ruined my dinner.
So, complete it! (I just realized that I had accepted this dare, and had forgotten to DO it... so my version will come up tonight) Can I have icecream too? Even though I was late? Pweeese!?
__________________
No Gnomes know Gnomes that Know No Gnomes
The Founder of the Evil Elite Fan Fiction Dare Club.
The Sagga of the Hogwarts Pineapple
www.fanfiction.net/~zymurgy
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11-29-2003, 02:09 AM
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#104 (permalink)
| Guest |
I loves it too, and you did my dare! Whoo! Harry in a khaki Shirt, with a mop on his head, ust priceless.
Well done!! :flowersmile:
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11-29-2003, 03:55 AM
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#105 (permalink)
| Almighty Evil One Knarl
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Oz
Posts: 9,081
| Flower Girl Wench Royalty
Thanks guys you both get an extra scoop of Ice cream with bits of oreo's in it. :oreo: :superchoc: :oreo: :superchoc:
Can't update right now have to go get a balloon for a party, but I'll come back later to continue, whats turning out to be a twisted romance.
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11-29-2003, 03:58 AM
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#106 (permalink)
| Billywig
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: New England
Posts: 3,334
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darn you, Lotus! I saw that you'd posted and ran from the other things I was doing to read the rest... and nothing!
Just kidding. Thanks for the chocolate... *Eats*
__________________
No Gnomes know Gnomes that Know No Gnomes
The Founder of the Evil Elite Fan Fiction Dare Club.
The Sagga of the Hogwarts Pineapple
www.fanfiction.net/~zymurgy
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12-01-2003, 01:20 AM
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#107 (permalink)
| Almighty Evil One Knarl
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Oz
Posts: 9,081
| Flower Girl Wench Royalty Sorry, bout before Zy. My Dad got his hands burnt by a fireball and we had to take him to the hospital get his bandages changed. Then I had to go to my friends birthday party, it was Crime themed.
And I'm just about to go to Newcastle for the day, so I wont be able to finish this just now, I will write again when I get back.
Ok, on with the story..........
"Sauron, you scab of an Evil overlord! I thought you were.......you know........all with the deadness." said minerva, with a pained look.
"Fraid not dearest, I have returned." admit it you knew he would.
"Well, now you think I'll take you back? Forget it, did you think I knew nothing about you and my niece, Kirstie!"
*gasps and points at sauron* "You and Kirstie?!?" proclaimed the author. "That little minx, she never told me!"
"Would you kindly stay out of this, It is my line!"
"Sorry, my bad." said the Author as she went back to being a silent observer.
"Don't be silly my love, nothing happened between Kirstie cakes and myself." sauron said in his raspy voice
"KIRSTIE CAKES? Thats it, I've had enough, I'm leaving." minerva turned to leave.
"I don't think so, pet. Remember I did just kidnap you, so, stay a while. I have also arranged for my competition to be otherwise occupied with their beards, so I'm afraid no one will be comming to save you." sauron turned to the armor which had picked itself up off the floor, "Would you escort my lady to her chambers, I have some things to attend to.
Wordlessly the armor swept McGonagall out of the room and up some stairs.
But little did Sauron know that he had been followed from Mordor by three companions. Who had gotten bored of trying to protect silly little people who keep running off.
The Dwarf was on the bottom, the human on top of him, then on top of them both was the elf, with his keen vision.
"Grrrr, can you seen anything? You two wieght as much as a mamoth." grumble the dwarf.
"If you would hold still, I might be able to see something. Or if you were a foot taller." said the hot looking elf.
"Awww cute, he blushes." added the author
"I am not blushing!" he retorted
The dwarf started to giggle, "HAHAHAHA, she called you cute!"
"Stop it both of you or we'll fa-alll!" but the human was too late.
The three of them tumbled to the ground, and lay there like a sack of potato's.
Back inside the seaweedy tower.
"Did you hear something?" an unknown figure asked.
"Quit stalling, and tell me what you want!" bellowed sauron.
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12-01-2003, 01:26 AM
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#108 (permalink)
| Billywig
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: New England
Posts: 3,334
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Tell you dad to get well for me! *hands over chocolate and flowers and get well cards* Tee hee! Legolas BLUSHES!
__________________
No Gnomes know Gnomes that Know No Gnomes
The Founder of the Evil Elite Fan Fiction Dare Club.
The Sagga of the Hogwarts Pineapple
www.fanfiction.net/~zymurgy
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12-01-2003, 01:47 AM
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#109 (permalink)
| Kappa
Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Australia
Posts: 14,806
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i'm sorry, but who or what is Sauron?
its really funny
yay
Lotus, Lotus, she's so evil
she even manages to out-do the weavels
darn weavels- eating my rice before i got a chance >
Lotus, you know i saw a bottle of oil in the shops yesterday, and it was called 'Essence of Lotus,'
and i was gonna buy it so that i could have my very own Lotus esssence, 'cept i didnt get a chance
you're in my fic, go read it
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12-01-2003, 05:51 AM
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#110 (permalink)
| Guest |
Was Newcastle Fun??
This is funny, UPDATE SOON!! :flowersmile:
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12-01-2003, 06:07 AM
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#111 (permalink)
| Official -()- Seeker Puffskein
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,698
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yay!!! Good!!! Mwahaha~evil in pink tights...
I feel hopeless. I still haven't gotten around to reading LotR...It's my goal for the summer though...after I see PoA movie a zillion times of course...
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12-01-2003, 06:08 AM
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#112 (permalink)
| Manticore
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: *Nom nom nom*
Posts: 43,198
Hogwarts RPG Name: Mercer Branxton Ravenclaw Seventh Year x7 x8
| Made of Awesome | Ern-la the Best-wa | TZ's Apogee
Lotus - you are beautiful and lovely and fun... now update! I'm enjoying this dare. I did it myself, so I like how you are going in a totally different direction than I did. And you are managing to have some elven hotness, when I couldn't manage to pull it off.
*pout*
Okay, I'm done pouting. Thanks for the ice cream.
__________________ ★ Dawn ★
Awakening ★ Spiritual ★ Hopeful ★ Honest |
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12-01-2003, 08:06 AM
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#113 (permalink)
| Almighty Evil One Knarl
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Oz
Posts: 9,081
| Flower Girl Wench Royalty
Thanks guys.
Zy- My dad was working on compressor or sum thing which he shouldn't have been and it went Ka-Boom, so it was his own fault. :smileybomb:
It really wasn't that bad, he's just a big baby.
Yeah, Legolas is shy apparently. I probably shouldn't have called him cute in front of the dwarf, he got a ripping from that.
me4ron- Sauron is the big nasty from Lord of the Rings, he is the giant firey eye and it's his evil ring that everyone wants.
About the oil, I needed some extra cash so I bottled myself, but careful it's pure EVIL. Hahaha, just kiddin, actually my real name in Hindi means Lotus. Don't ask me why, my mum was a hippy and likes india.
Ashlee- Eh, Newcastle was ok. Didn't do much, just went to pick up my bro's new car, 180 SX bla bla bla. So we spent almost the whole time driving, but the view was nice, My butt is sore though.
born2mugglz- I haven't gotten around to reading it either, I like the movies though.
Cassirin- Elven hotness is the best! Legolas will be mine, Mwaahaahaaa! :wub:
To all: I will be updating shortly, I can't wait to see what happens. Even I don't know. :unsure:
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12-01-2003, 02:31 PM
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#114 (permalink)
| Guest | Quote: Ashlee- Eh, Newcastle was ok. Didn't do much, just went to pick up my bro's new car, 180 SX bla bla bla. So we spent almost the whole time driving, but the view was nice, My butt is sore though. I'm glad you thought Newcastle was OK, I find it incredibly boring.....
I also feel the same about cars, As long as there is4 wheels, a steeering wheel, goes beep beep and can move. I don't care :whisle:
Well I'll be waiting for an update!
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12-01-2003, 02:35 PM
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#115 (permalink)
| Puffskein
Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Tejas
Posts: 1,407
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I love cars! lol, i have a '98 Metallic Blue Mustang, i love my car! lol, we're would we be in life w/o cars?? Thats a scary thought! :unsure:
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12-01-2003, 02:49 PM
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#116 (permalink)
| Almighty Evil One Knarl
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Oz
Posts: 9,081
| Flower Girl Wench Royalty
I am in the process of writing now, but am easily distracted.
My Grandma used to live in Newcastle, so I've been there quite a few times, it's always interesting to see the new cracks in some of the old buildings from earthquakes. We don't get them in Sydney.
I only lean to appreciate cars when they break down and I have to use public transport.
HarryIsMyHero10, your car sounds nice. I don't trust myself to drive one, for that matter neither would my dad. :red_car:
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12-01-2003, 04:06 PM
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#117 (permalink)
| Almighty Evil One Knarl
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Oz
Posts: 9,081
| Flower Girl Wench Royalty And so I complete the story...............
The unknown figure was suddenly known, cause the Author wished it so and she didn't recognise Malfoy before, with a fake mustache.
"I want to help you get whatever it is that you want." draco said ferverently.
"And why would I want the help of a puney mortal with a false mustache?" questioned sauron (the big nasty from LOTR)
"Because I can get you information about Harry Potter."
"Who?"
"Harry Potter! The boy who lived."
"There are lots of boys who lived, and I care not so, go away."
"But I can do other stuff."
"I don't like to repeat myself, foolish guppie........Yes, thats what you are, a guppie. And I shall eat you!" the evil overlord(not me, sauron!) transformed draco into a fish, apparently he can do that, and was reaching to pick him up when he squeeled.
"No don't eat me, Fish are friends, not food!" and he flip floped out the door.
Outside the three figures were untangling themselves.
"Ooof, I told you we would fall." said the tall dark, human.
"Gerrt off me!" groaned the dwarf
"Ouch! Hey, who pinched me?" asked the elf. The other two just held their hands up in the air, and shrugged.
"Oh, sorry. I couldn't help it." :wub: said the grinning Author.
"Here let me help you up." she took the elf's hand and hoisted him up.
"I'm Lotus the Wicked, Defender of the Chickens of Cassirin."
"You have something you should be doing don't you?" said the author to the tall dark human and motioning toward the tower.
"Right!" he dashed over to the lake, stood there then turned around. "Little help?"
Lotus rolled her eyes and called on a turtle to come help. His name was Christopher the turtle, and he carried the human on his back accross to the tower, waved to Lotus and dissapeared under the water.
Sauron had concluded his business and made his way to McGonagall's room.
"Ah dearest, my plan is almost complete and we will be leaving now, so come now and we will be off to a life of Evil Domination." he said walking toward minerva. And don't ask me to tell you what his plan is, it's a secret.
"Stop!" called the tall dark human, who shall now be named, Aragorn.
"Unhand that lady!" he continued.
"I havn't got her hand." said sauron, irritated.
"Well then, allow her to leave, with me."
"No, she was mine first, you can't have her!" he lunged at Aragorn with a sword, but the Author thought this was dangerous so she switched it with a pillow and gave another to the human.
The swing Sauron was taking, hit Aragorn on the shoulder, and he responded by thumping the big nasty in the stomach.
Then it was on, feathers flying everywhere, McGonagall was not amused, she strode accross the room towards the door.
Sauron saw her trying to leave and drew back for a powerful swing, aimed at her. "NOOOOO!" Aragorn dove forward and was caught by the blow on the back of his neck before falling to the floor.
Minerva cradled him in her arms, "You saved me, you saved my life!"
The Author, miffed that someone got hurt and it was not her doing, banished Sauron and his mossy tower from her fanfic. Then went back to some unfinished business of her own.
She found the elf wandering the grounds in search of a stream to drink from.
"Hello, again. What did you say your name was?" cooed the author, making eyes at him, whatever that means.
"I'm Legolas." he said looking like he was ready to bolt.
The Author 'accidently' dropped her braclet on the ground behind her, in plain view. "I seems I have misplaced my braclet, could you help me look."
He steps lightly around her, she is watching timidly, then he bends over to pick up the dropped item.
"Ouch!" he cried, and turned to see the Author grinning mischieviously. And that's all you'll get to know about. Don't worry no hero's were mortally wounded in this fic.
Thus finishes Kirstie McGonagal's dare:
*Aragorn from LOTR must appear and save someone's life
*Malfoy must say "Fish are friends, not food"
*someone sprouts wings and flies away
* My name must come up in conversation
* All the suits of Armour get stolen by ...
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12-01-2003, 06:36 PM
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#118 (permalink)
| Billywig
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: New England
Posts: 3,334
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*sigh* I didn't see any of the LOTR movies, and I'm not going to... because I am a true loyal fan of the BOOKS from the time I was 4 years old... and I don't want to see them spoiled... *mutters incoherant stuff about why she doesn't want to see the movies* Besides, they're rated to high for my standards... don't like that. So- I have no super hot version of Legolas... as other people do. When you were talking about the "Tall dark human" actually my mind jumped for some stupid reason to Boromir. *thwaps self* Stupid me!
Draco- with a mustache! There's a mental image I needed... did he get eaten? Or did he get away... you can't kill off all the evilness... besides- he LIKES us!
__________________
No Gnomes know Gnomes that Know No Gnomes
The Founder of the Evil Elite Fan Fiction Dare Club.
The Sagga of the Hogwarts Pineapple
www.fanfiction.net/~zymurgy
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12-02-2003, 12:26 AM
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#119 (permalink)
| Quintaped
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 59,974
Hogwarts RPG Name: Robert Allyn Winchester First Year | Runs With Vampires
hehehehehe Lotus you crack me up!! Me and Sauron!?!?! What a mental image...
excellent evilness!!
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12-02-2003, 04:22 AM
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#120 (permalink)
| Almighty Evil One Knarl
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Oz
Posts: 9,081
| Flower Girl Wench Royalty
Yes, Draco got away. He flip flopped out the door before Sauron could eat him. :lunchmeat:
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12-02-2003, 04:29 AM
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#121 (permalink)
| Official -()- Seeker Puffskein
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,698
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Teehee....that wuz funny!!! Hehe....Mwahaha....heehehe....lalala!!! I liked it....You crack me up!!!! Why....cuz I'm EVIL!!! (In pink tights, if none of you have gotten the idea yet...) MWahaha!!!! EVILNESS!!!!!! Yay Lotus!!!! That was purely evil!!!
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12-02-2003, 05:08 AM
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#122 (permalink)
| Manticore
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: *Nom nom nom*
Posts: 43,198
Hogwarts RPG Name: Mercer Branxton Ravenclaw Seventh Year x7 x8
| Made of Awesome | Ern-la the Best-wa | TZ's Apogee Quote: Cassirin- Elven hotness is the best! Legolas will be mine, Mwaahaahaaa! I shared with you... why won't you share with me? Sigh... not nice-ness! Excellent story, you little pinching devil. In particular, I liked Draco Incognito and the pillow fight, although the beard length contest was a bit of genius as a ploy to get rid of Dumbledore. Do we have to let Sauron join us just because he's evil?
Oh... let's have auditions! Mwahahaha!
__________________ ★ Dawn ★
Awakening ★ Spiritual ★ Hopeful ★ Honest |
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12-02-2003, 05:18 AM
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#123 (permalink)
| Almighty Evil One Knarl
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Oz
Posts: 9,081
| Flower Girl Wench Royalty
Ok, ok, you can have him every second week. See I'm not totally unreasonable.
No, we don't have to let Sauron join, but he might be good for our publicty, or if we decide to take over the world.
Look, I changed my siggy finally. Wow that was really quick, I submitted it about 4 mins ago.
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12-02-2003, 10:49 AM
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#124 (permalink)
| Kappa
Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Australia
Posts: 14,806
| Coolies
very evil
now write some more :crack_whip:
i liked this bit : Quote: No don't eat me, Fish are friends, not food!" and he flip floped out the door. heeheehe, i think he would make a great fish- but, only if the fish gets to wear a mustache as well
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12-09-2003, 07:20 AM
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#125 (permalink)
| Almighty Evil One Knarl
Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Oz
Posts: 9,081
| Flower Girl Wench Royalty It was breakfast time and for once the whole school was bubbley and chirpy, with the exception of one person.
Hermione(Minny) was drooping so low half her hair went into a bowl of Fruit Loops next to her, and she didn't even notice.
"Hermione? Are you.." began ron, only to be cut off.
"I'm fine! Would you keep you nose out of my bussiness!" snaped minny.
"I will, if you keep your mane out of my breakfast." shot a snide ron, as minny stormed off in a huff.
"I am not in a huff, you are!"
"What ever you say." *cough-huffy-cough* said a smirking author. Before she went into a real coughing fit, on account of being sick.
A little later during charms class. (my how the time flys when you are powerfuly Evil)
"Ok class, exams are not too far off now, so this lesson we will be doing some revision. First lets try lighting our wands the extinguishing them." announced the shril little voice of professor flitwick.
The students called out "Lumos" and "Nox", and Nevile squeeled for help cause he set his robes alite. And no one seemed to notice Hermione catching Z's on her desk, until Nevile bumped into her trying to put out the fire, shocked out of her sleep, she sprang into the air and yelled, "You skrewt sucking toad!" pointing her wand at harry she shot him.
Once the some of the commotion had settled down, Flitwick surveyed the damage.
"It was a simple excercise, how can you set your robes ablaze?" he said walking in front of nevile, then he moved on to hermione. "And why in the name of Apollo's pet rotwiler were you ASLEEP in my class?!?
Minny's head hung in shame as he moved on to Harry.
"And you! Oh....um....you'd best see Poppy about that. I'm not sure though, how well she can grow back eyebrows.*pointing at Minny* You had best go with him."
Harry and Minny walked to the hospital wing.
"Oh Harry I'm really sorry. It's just that I got a card from Victor yesterday and couldn't sleep for worrying about it." said a depressed minny.
"My beautiful eye brows!" cired a stunned harry, as he fingered his forhead.
"I mean, he's got some nerve! Imagine thinking I'm just going to stop talking to my friends because he's jealous, then making up some stupid poem thats suposed to make it all better. Come on, who could possibly like, 'Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, if it wasn't for Christmas, we'd all be Jewish'?" said an indignant minny
"How will all the girls love me now, with no eye brows?" harry whimpered ".............You're still in love with me aren't you? Besides the fact that Ron, Krum and Malfoy are secretly in love with you, well, some more secret than others."
"Huh? WHAT? MALFOY?!?!" Took me a while to start, but it will be completed shortly.
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